Her Protection
In every major town and city, there is a house of which no official record exists, and whose windows have been boarded up for longer than anyone around can remember. The previous occupants, if there ever were any, are untraceable, and no organisation or individual will ever lay claim to the plot on which it stands.
Nevertheless, when you break in–always through a back, ground-floor window; you must never touch the outer doors–you will see amongst the dust the signs of inhabitants long gone. A flattened cardboard box, an overturned child’s cot, balding patches on the carpet where the pile has been worn away. Invariably there will be an orphaned double mattress in the master bedroom. What you will not see, however, are rats and cockroaches, or animal waste. Vermin know better than to come here.
These are Her sacred spaces.
The first time you visit, bring only what you need to help you enter the house. Then locate the master bedroom, stand in the centre, and draw an unbroken circle in the dust around your feet. Make it about a metre in diameter to be safe.
Face the doorway and say aloud; “I wish to make a sacrifice. Will you welcome the offering?”
Then leave as quickly as possible. You must not return until night has next fallen.
This time, bring nails, a hammer, an empty litre bottle, a sharp, sturdy knife, and a torch. Enter the same way you did last time. Remember the mattress in the master bedroom? Someone will be sleeping there. Don’t worry about waking them up; She has taken care of that for you. Turn the sleeper over onto their back and cut their jugular vein, making sure to collect as much blood as you can.
You will need to pour a little of the blood onto the floor of every room, including this one, but make sure you have some left at the end. When you’ve finished, leave by the same way you entered, and close up the boards again. (This is what the hammer and nails are for.) Walk home. Speak to nobody on your way. When you get there, tip some of the remaining blood into your right hand and smear it over your door handle before you enter. Then go to bed.
If there is any blood left, you must pour the rest of it onto any pavement in the city, but do not allow it to be poured down a drain. The knife you must never use again, and should bury. Do not trouble yourself with covering your tracks. When you next leave your house, the blood on your door will be gone, and the murder you have committed will have no repurcussions. From the moment you leave Her temple, DNA evidence will never again implicate you; law enforcement will creep around your footsteps without touching them. On cameras, your face will show up a blur.
You are under Her protection now.
Just make sure you get the right house.
Her Protection,
I like this. Seems like something I would do, and I know just the place…
Ah, I really like this.
(But who was blood?)
There were way, way too many typos in this.
I counted one…. and I’m a spelling/grammar nazi….
If you’re talking about the “s” in “organization” and the “r” and “e” being reversed in a couple of words, thosr are actually quite acceptably spelled in accordance with other English-speaking cultures outside of America.
Omg…. “those”….. goddamn phone….
The beginning had me expecting a holder pasta, i wasn’t far off though.
Good pasta with a final line that kicks in the creepy factor.
Good
Good
nom nom nom nom
THEN WHO WAS SLEEPING PERSON?
It was you, it was you all along. You were the sacrifice made.
I agree, who was sleeping there? That never got explained… Good Pasta though!
The only moment where I rolled my eyes was the capitalized “Her” sentences. It’s been done so many times that the point the author was trying to make with it doesn’t really do anything for me.
Basically, a ritual pasta on how to become a serial killer and continually get away with murder. That in itself is creepy, but the whole ritual and what’s required to attain the rewards comes off as a little hokie to me. Just my two cents.
7/10
It was okay pasta, but the ritual pastas are getting old. Really.
“Go into this barn, wave your arm three times, blah blah blah”
“The knife you must never use again, and should bury.”
This sentence made me want to kill the author.
Too much like the Holder pastas.
i liked it, i also rofld at last sentence. and i cant do this ritual for 2 reasons
, id probly get the wrong house
1) i need ppl to see my face on tv
2) there are about 30 million of those houses in DC
Finally, a ritual pasta with a reward that would make the task plausibly worthwhile.
Bahahaha the ending was brilliant. Best pasta in a while
Really good pasta. Cookie to uncredited author.
Liked it…wasn’t too creepy, but was a good read. But whats everyone excited about the last line for? I don’t get it….WHO WAS THE RIGHT HOUSE!!??
Love the last line.
I didn’t really find this creepy, but at least it was a little better written and more interesting than some of the other recent pastas.
Make sure you get the right house…because if you do not…when you go back…no one will be sleeping in that bed and you can’t commit murder. Think about that while you’re trying to sleep tonight.
For those who don’t get the last line:
Make sure you get the right house, or you’ll end up killing a random hobo who snuck in through the hole you made, and end up in prison.
That is how i see it at least…
I’ve heard better ritual pastas than this.. I actually thought they’d be better but that’s a time long past. Still, decent noms nonetheless. And I must ask..
WHO WAS HER?!
That and what’s the point of this other than just get away with murder?
Oh make sure the one you really hate is in that bed, otherwise you’ll regret it..
BUT THEN WHO WAS HER PROTECTION
WAS IT CONDOM
IS SHE CONDOM
Oh God. I lol’d.
That explains everything!