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Why do you continue to seek me out? You cannot find me if I do not will it. I am the night… and yet, you know I am here. I see you, shivering as I cross the room. You twitch when I slip under your bed. You can feel me. Do you feel my breath on the nape of your neck? Do you notice my nails on your flesh? Do you meet my eyes in the dark of night? Yes, you know I am here. I have always been here. Things were different when you were young, your little eyes could see me then. You would scream, and point at me, trying to hide behind the bars of your crib. You would continue to scream as your mother lifted you. It was only when she flipped the switch, and brought light into your pathetic world that I would leave. But it was no matter, for she would leave, she always left. And I would come back. You learnt quickly, bawling wasn’t going to drive me out. You decided to ignore me, to pretend I wasn’t there. Even as my greasy hair hung down over your face, and my breath rattled in your ear, still you ignored me. You became very good at it.
I tried, of course, to make myself noticed. Small things at first; a misplaced shoe, toys rolling across the floor, an open window. But this was too easy for you to ignore, too simple for you to explain. Do you remember Fluff? That putrid creature you adored so much? The one that mommy said ran away? I assure you it was in no fit state to run when I was finished with it. Do you remember little Stacey? That precious child who shared her candy with you? You always paid attention to her, you never ignored her. I hated her, pity about the accident. How unfortunate for an innocent child to fall victim to a rabid dog. How I laughed when I heard your mother say that. A rabid dog! She had no face left, you know? I got carried away, the taste of blood, the shrill screams in my ear, it overwhelmed me. But still you ignored me.
You became more withdrawn after that, spending hours on your computer, shut up in your room. It was great at first, we were closer than ever. You stayed up late, and I watched over your shoulder as you trawled the internet, researching how best to end your wretched life. You tried once too, but the rope snapped, do you remember? Well I just couldn’t let you off that easy. I couldn’t let you skip out on me. I will decide when you go; your life is mine to take only when I decide.
So little has changed since then. Sure, you got a job, you moved out, but I followed. You still sit in front of that screen every night, whittling away your time, numbing your senses, so you can drift off without suffering through those moments in between consciousness and sleep. Those moments where you catch a glimpse of me shuffling across the room, where you see the glint of my eyes and sense the chill in the room. How I savour those moments. You have forgotten me, yet you know I am here. You turn on the lights, in your bravest of moments, searching for me. But when you dissipate the dark, I too go with it, for I am the dark. I am the dark of your soul.
I will never leave, at least not alone. Oh some night you will see me, in all my horrific majesty, but I will be the last thing you see.