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Doors

I was adopted. I never knew my real mother; rather, I knew her at one time but I left her side when I was too little to be able to remember. I loved my adopted family though. They were so kind to me. I ate well, I lived in a warm and comfortable house, and I got to stay up pretty late.

Let me tell you about my family real fast: First, there’s my mother. I never called her Mom or anything like that; I just called her by her first name. Janice. She didn’t mind at all though. I called her that for so long, I don’t think she even noticed. Anyhow, she was a very kind woman. I think that she is the one who recommended my adoption in the first place. Sometimes I would lay my head against her in front of the television and she would tickle my back with her nails. She is one of those Hollywood mothers.

Second, there’s Dad. His real name was Richard, but he never really liked me much so I began to refer to him as Dad in a desperate attempt to gain his affection. It didn’t work. I think that no matter what I called him, he would never love me as much as his own child. That’s understandable so I really didn’t press the matter. The most notable attribute of Dad was his unmoving sternness. He was not afraid to pop his children when they did something wrong. I found that out before I could use the restroom properly. He didn’t hesitate to spank me. Well, I’m in line and it’s because of his methods.

Lastly, is my sister. Little Emily was really young when I was adopted, so we were about the same age, but she was slightly older. I liked to think of her as my little sister, though. We got along better than any sibling could possibly get along. We would always stay up late together and just talk. Well, she did a lot of the talking; I mostly just listened because I loved her. It was a great setup that we had! We were short on bedrooms, so- because I didn’t want to sleep in the living room by myself when I was littler- I had a pallet set up for me next to her bed on the floor. This is where I have slept since. But it was cool with me because I enjoyed being with her and I had always felt pretty protective of my little sis.

Everything changed on a horrible Wednesday night. I was at home taking a nap when little Emily opened the front door. The sound of the door opening pulled me to a state of consciousness and I walked from the room down the hall to the living room. That’s when I first remembered it was Wednesday. I was never any good at keeping track of what day it was. Actually I’ll just go ahead and say it: My sense of time was HORRIBLE! But nevertheless, I knew it was Wednesday because Emily had just come home from her Church’s youth group gathering. She walked in the front door and hugged me, and then was followed in by Dad and Janice.

“You have a good nap?” Janice said teasingly as she ruffled up my hair. I just shook my head away and snorted in a manner that clearly expressed that I was teasing back with her.

“Don’t you snort at your mother like that!” said my father gruffly with authority. He shut the door behind him and hung up his coat.
“I was clearly joking…” I growled under my breath. He must not have heard me because I didn’t feel him smack me. Emily then proceeded to our room and I followed. She started telling me about her day. You know… usual teenage girl stuff. But I listened so that she would feel better. After her summary she suggested watching TV and I obliged and jumped onto the couch as she was going for the remote. She rolled her eyes at my little-brother-like immaturity and scooted me over and sat down. The TV turned on and we watched it together until the sun went down. Emily was the kind of girl that- instead of watching cartoons and soap operas- would rather watch Discovery and Animal Planet and Natural Geographic. I like those too so I didn’t mind. Actually, those were the only channels that can hold my attention.

So it got late and Janice walked up behind the sofa. “Emily it’s past your bed time. Turn off the television and go to your room. You too.” she pointed at me. Emily turned off the program we were watching grudgingly and stood up. She started down the hallway to our room. As I followed I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.

We went into our room and Emily turned off the light. Just as she did, I caught a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye. It was out the window, but as soon as I redirected my line of sight to where the window was no longer in my peripheral vision, what it was that I thought I saw was gone. I still remained alert. For my sister’s sake.

I laid there in the darkness with nothing but the thin ray of light from the street lamp outside to illuminate the room. It wasn’t much. Time and time again I could have sworn that I heard subtle sounds just out the window… a twig break, leaves crunching, clothes jostling. And all the while I could smell a faint stench of sweat and blood. I kept my eyes open most of the night.

The sounds outside subsided and the smell left my nose. I began to feel at ease. My eyelids closed.

Not long after that, I heard a very loud crash on the other side of the house. I was up in an instant. “THERE’S SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE!” I barked with extreme adrenaline coursing through me. “Wake up!” I shrilly pleaded with Emily. She did, and as soon as I saw her sit up I ran to my parent’s room…

Dad was dead. His neck was splayed open and gaping as blood spilled out of it, off the bed, and onto the floor. I saw that the master bathroom’s door was closed and just before it- on the outside- was a man.

A man… I don’t feel comfortable calling it that.

He was very large and rugged. He turned around and saw me and that’s when I saw him accurately for the first time. I wont forget it. His eyes were large and beady and trapped with lust. He was styling a beard that was badly unkempt with blood dripping off. His clothes were dirty and his face was cold. Just then I noticed the same horrid smell of sweat and blood from earlier, but this time it was overwhelming.

He saw me. He saw me and grinned with a set of crooked yellow teeth. That smile threw me off. I thought that I was going to die, but then he turned back to the bathroom door completely unperturbed by my presence. I was terrified and didn’t no what to do. I just yelled and cried. I watched as he shouldered through door that was Mom’s only protection. I watched as he raised the large razor that he was carrying, but had obviously neglected to use properly. I watched as he sliced her open and tore her to shreds…

I then heard something; the last thing that I wanted to hear… It was Emily’s scream coming from behind me. The large monstrosity looked up from my butchered mother and stared at my little sister. I was distraught. He stood up and quickly started walking toward us. My sis turned and ran, and I was at a loss when he bypassed me and went straight after her. Why was she still in the house? Had she not assessed the situation and run? Apparently not, and now she was dead and I was alone.

I ran after them both. I expected the man to kill her as he had the rest of my family, but I was sadly mistaken. He grabbed her by the arm and jerked her as a way to make clear that he was in control. He dragged her through the house… I was making all of the noise I could now, hoping and praying that someone would come to my aid. He mustn’t take her. Not her.

As he passed me I backed against the wall and whimpered with terror, “Why?” He didn’t respond except by putting his free hand on my head while Emily screamed in the other and saying “Good boy.” He gave another crooked grin and a very cold, unnatural laugh. I followed him to the door where he dragged my helpless sister after him. He opened it, pulled her out, and slammed it shut behind him.

I am now sitting in the house with my mutilated adopted parents, shivering and whimpering with dismay. He’s out there with her. Doing who-knows-what to her, and I can’t do anything. I would if I could, but I can’t. I would chase after them in a heartbeat, but I can’t. I sit here, looking at the front door. I look down at my paws. If only I could open doors…


Credited to aCJohnson

Posted in Murders & Deaths 8 months ago at 11:03 am.

244 comments

244 Replies

  1. Anonymous Jan 3rd 2010

    So, um, this is more funny than it is scary. You’re expecting bloody murder, suddenly HOLY SHIT IT’S A DOG LOL

  2. Archfeared Jan 3rd 2010

    Good twist, I suppose, but maybe it was just me who couldn’t see it coming.

  3. Damien Jan 3rd 2010

    Credited to M. Night Shyamalan.

  4. Paranoia Jan 3rd 2010

    I deffinetely DID NOT see that coming.
    I loved this one (:

  5. hithereanon Jan 3rd 2010

    So it’s creepy because the narrator is a dog?

    I realized it was a dog in the third paragraph…

  6. notimportant Jan 3rd 2010

    That’s just weird.
    Not scary.
    O_o

  7. Damn good. I never had a clue.

  8. nigger tits Jan 3rd 2010

    HAHA I GET IT

    You got some typos tho faggot

  9. snake Jan 3rd 2010

    OH…..

    the narrator was a dog….

    figures…..

  10. Anonymous Jan 3rd 2010

    That was really good. I wasn’t expecting the twist at the end.

  11. oh he’s a dog.

  12. teejayandjon Jan 3rd 2010

    So I’m a dog. Damn, if only i could typogjgkfjvjjnfjjfk.

  13. This is a good one. I had a hunch that the protagonist would end up being a dog, but I had actually forgotten all about that hunch by the time I was half-way through they story! After finishing it, I went back and skimmed over it again. It was then that I noticed the somewhat subtle hints — the doublespeak, if you will — that alluded to the narrator’s true form.

  14. ChevyAddict454 Jan 3rd 2010

    …why paws? why?!

  15. Jesus CHRIST this is sad o____________________o

  16. liver Jan 3rd 2010

    stupid dogs. can’t speak english or open doors.
    it scared me that a thing likea dog would think it’s as important as a human. sickening. fuck you dog.

  17. TheAlaskanSofa Jan 3rd 2010

    That was way cool :) by the end i thought “this it stupid, why didnt he call anyone or fight back or go after him or anything” and then the twist ending definitely got me. Was not expecting that at all! Loved this one! It makes so much sense now! haha

  18. Anonymous Jan 3rd 2010

    I wasn’t very fond of the person narrating until the very last sentence. I kept thinking to myself what a tool, who sleeps on the floor? Great story.

  19. Darth Skeletor Jan 3rd 2010

    Definitely didn’t see that coming but I’m sure plenty of people will say it was obvious due to the channel selection or something. I think it is creepy in the way that it’s insight into a thought process some may never have considered.

  20. Om Nom. Jan 3rd 2010

    … Seriously?

  21. Aniosan Jan 3rd 2010

    Awesome story,I like it how you put little clues about the protag - barking,whimpering.

    Not that scary,but really well written.

  22. Mwahaha Jan 3rd 2010

    What a neat story. Very delicious pasta, totally didn’t see the ending coming.

  23. Yotan Jan 3rd 2010

    this had a lot of potential, but it took way too long to get to the fucking point and was poorly written, it sounded like a livejournal post for the first ten paragraphs.

  24. o i c wut u did thar Jan 3rd 2010

    clever. it was a dog.

  25. What a twist!

    Also, excellent story. Not sure if it’s creepypasta exactly, but I’m willing to let that slide.

  26. ITS A DOG HOLY FUCK

  27. FRENCHiiE Jan 3rd 2010

    DELECIOUS!! LUVED IT!! …he can’t open doors? They cut off his hands????… omg… where the hands cut off that night? or where they cut off a long time ago?… Was that why he was abandoned??

    I LOVE the mystery in this story
    and the action too

    YUMMYLISIOUS PASTA! I’d love to have more… :D

  28. Anonymous Jan 3rd 2010

    FIRST omg, but then who was grin?

  29. FRENCHiiE Jan 3rd 2010

    OMG!!!!! PAWS!!!!!!!! URE A DOG!!!!!!!! THEY ADOPTED A DOG!!!!!! NOW I GET IT!!!!!!

    this isn’t as good now….

  30. FRENCHiiE Jan 3rd 2010

    OMG i ssee the clues… “barked” “growled under my breath”… “a bit protective to her”…. “PAWS” … “CANNOT OPEN DOORS”…

    ITS SURELY A DOG!!

    at first I didnt get it

    now

    I get it.

  31. Cupcake Jan 3rd 2010

    For me, this was extremely predictable. I dunno why but throughout the whole story I got the sense that this was being told through the eyes of a house pet. Maybe it was the fact that he slept on the floor or maybe it was growl when the family came home from church. What really confirmed my suspicions before the paws gave it away were the attentiveness towards television channels that generally focus on animals, and then the keen sense of smell and awareness. It wasn’t too creepy, but I did get a strong feeling of helplessness. Glad to see a pasta finally told from a different point of view than a human or transformation of a human. Kudos!

  32. Rasec Wizzlbang Jan 3rd 2010

    LOVE this one. The ending was both sad and funny…

  33. katurian Jan 3rd 2010

    i thought this was pretty mediocre until the very last lines which really saved the pasta for me. it made me go back and read the whole thing again to notice all the hints. i like it a lot more now.

  34. Oh my, this is good, clever too.

  35. Dylan Jan 3rd 2010

    Wow what a great twist! Loved the story, despite it not being paticuarly creepy. Well written and I hope to more like it.

  36. I had to read it a second time before I figured out the payoff. Interesting tomato-in-the-mirror twist, but when you read it again it stops being creepy and becomes depressing.

  37. Lauralot Jan 3rd 2010

    Wait, what? If he was an animal the whole time, why would the father yell at him for snorting at the mother?

    It wasn’t even well-written.

  38. Fail-ness Jan 3rd 2010

    But people don’t have paw- OH!

  39. Really nice.
    The twist was unexpected,and it is interesting to see creepypastas trough another perspective

  40. Anonymous Jan 3rd 2010

    HA HA HA OH WOW

  41. Anonymous Jan 3rd 2010

    I love the twist at the end! Totally wasn’t expecting that.

  42. Applesauce Jan 3rd 2010

    Great story!!! ^^

  43. kfnnnp Jan 3rd 2010

    Shit, if I were that dog I’d have ripped his throat out when I saw dad dead on the bed. Like, proper ripped it out.

    Also, first?

  44. Anonymous Jan 3rd 2010

    BUT WHO WAS DOG?!?

  45. Unsilenced Jan 3rd 2010

    Not creepy. Was the fact that it was a dog supposed to be a twist? I saw it from the beginning.

  46. Stina Jan 3rd 2010

    This has got to be one of the best pastas I’ve eaten in a while. The twist at the end was really good.

    9 out of 10.

  47. Hendetta Jan 3rd 2010

    What a stupid dog. If he was loyal at all, he would have attacked the shit out of that motherfucker. I don’t see what is creepy about this.. it is an okay story, but… HE WAS A DOG ALL ALONG. WHAT A TWEEST.

  48. Nice story, needs a little polish but really interesting concept

  49. Hahahaha

    That was pretty painful to read, but the end was awesome.

  50. Anonymous Jan 3rd 2010

    lol he’s a dog

  51. WTFAMIREADING Jan 3rd 2010

    So…him being a dog is suppose to make me shit brix? How is this pasta creepy in any way? Someone care to explain?

  52. Starlight Jan 3rd 2010

    Wow that was a good one the end really got me actually I throughly enjoyed this one

  53. I see what you did thar.

    Not creepy tho.

  54. Anonymous Jan 3rd 2010

    Awesome mindfuck. Second read-through and it’s so obvious.

  55. nothing new, saw the “twist” ending three seconds after the word “adopted.”

  56. archont Jan 3rd 2010

    So, he was a Dog?

    Sad story :(

  57. :/
    Bad pasta is bad.

  58. Very nice. I did not see the ending coming at all.

    First?

  59. Anonymous Jan 3rd 2010

    what a tweest!

    a “meh” story saved by a good ending.

  60. Esjay Jan 3rd 2010

    That ending was kind of expected, but I WAT’d when I read the end. 10/10

  61. Savath Jan 3rd 2010

    feeeeerfuuck ? is he a dog or something ?

  62. Now THIS is a twist ending done right. On the second read through, it’s great how subtle little things add up to the conclusion. The author obviously put a lot of effort into that. Delicious pasta.

  63. So… the twist is that the narrator is a dog? A fitting end to a long, boring, badly written pasta.

  64. Robi. Jan 3rd 2010

    Riiiiiight.

  65. Wait, what? Was it a cat or somthing?

  66. Anonymous Jan 3rd 2010

    Brix shitting twist ending!

  67. Lestat Jan 3rd 2010

    WAIT, WHAT

    F**KING SH*T I didn’t see that coming… at all!. That was a real shock. I can’t say that it was too creepy, or very well written, but it was a really good pasta, enough scary. PERFECT ending though, and a story’s ending is the most important part. The desperate situation of the main character was very well transmitted to my own feelings.

    10/10
    Congratulations. I shat bricks.

  68. “I didn’t no what to do”

    stopped reading right there

  69. Anonymous Jan 4th 2010

    wat

  70. Mike Mihalopoulos Jan 4th 2010

    Not bad… Pretty good, in fact, but the twist that he was a dog came from a mile away…

  71. Sedna Jan 4th 2010

    Wow, I didn’t see that coming, though I did wonder why he slept on the floor

  72. Completely predictable.
    Wasn’t written very well and poor flow.

  73. Cayla Jan 4th 2010

    Oh my god.

  74. reader Jan 4th 2010

    Best one in a few months IMO. Thanks.

  75. Call me stupid, but I can honestly say I didn’t see that one coming.

  76. aCJohnson Jan 4th 2010

    I can’t believe it got put up here! Yay me!

    inb4 WHO WAS KIDNAPPER?

  77. Tyler Jan 4th 2010

    I didn’t even see that coming, wow. That was actually pretty good.

  78. I knew he would turn out to be a dog!

    Good read.

  79. ncslayme Jan 4th 2010

    hahahahahahahahaha

  80. this made me really sad

  81. Anonymous Jan 4th 2010

    Fuck, I didn’t see that coming.

  82. Anonymous Jan 4th 2010

    i really enjoyed this. not too heavy on the creepy side, but the ending was unexpected and yet made so much sense, very good execution. congratulations mr. johnson, i salute you for bringing a quality pasta to this site.

  83. Someone Jan 4th 2010

    The ending really surprised me, and a melancholic shiver ran down my spine.
    Very well-written and catchy pasta.
    Kudos.

  84. Many bricks Jan 4th 2010

    Is it bad that I lol’d?

  85. Many bricks Jan 4th 2010

    Also, is it weird that I didn’t care if the man killed Emily, but when he hinted at rape I no longer liked this story?

  86. Whoa…I was expecting a run-of-the-mill, cliche pasta, but the ending caught me completely off guard.

    Definitely worth a read.

  87. Shelleh Jan 4th 2010

    WTF. A DOG.
    LAME.
    You should have worded the ending different

  88. striker Jan 4th 2010

    i liked this one, great pasta with twisted ending.

  89. A Passerby Jan 4th 2010

    You guys are seriously surprised by the “twist” in this? It was obvious the narrator was a dog from, like, the third paragraph. The entire time I’m just thinking to myself “Okay, he’s a dog get to the scary”, but the scary never came.

    Boring pasta propped up by a lame twist ending that has nothing to do with anything.

  90. sdjaks Jan 4th 2010

    Went from vaguely creepy to vaguely comical in one sentence.

  91. pastamuncher Jan 4th 2010

    probably the only pasta that had a properly written twist.11/10 stars :D

  92. Lauralot Jan 4th 2010

    For the life of me I can’t understand why this is being so well reviewed. The writing was god-awful (maybe that was the point because dogs are dumb or something, but still), the twist has been done in Goosebumps, of all places, and the father’s behavior when they return makes no sense whatsoever considering that it’s a dog that’s doing the snorting. And on top of all that, IT WASN’T CREEPY.

  93. Aaron Jan 4th 2010

    Wow! I thought it was written kind of badly straight up until the end, which surprised me. That was one of the best endings I’ve read in awhile.

  94. Anonymous Jan 4th 2010

    son of a bitch.
    so the dad spanks the dog and refers to janice as its mother?

  95. Caedus Jan 4th 2010

    NICE i liked this one… though I felt sorry for Emily :(

  96. lol.

  97. Iron Knight Jan 4th 2010

    Quite sad. I like it, but I have a bit of a soft spot for dogs.

  98. PaperPasta Jan 4th 2010

    I saw the twist coming and when it came, it was still good. A little surprising considering how i was expecting a creepy imaginary friend or something haha.

    The writing was a little too mechanical for my taste though. Sometimes you were mature, other times you were like a little immature boy.

    But the clues you left throughout your story were clever. After realizing that it wasn’t going to be some other being, all the clues fell into place neatly. Good pasta, not creepy though.

  99. One pasta that did not screw the pooch like so many others

  100. Avery Jan 4th 2010

    A dog is not capable of perceiving others as a mother/father/sister figure. Dogs abandon such things right as they are able to do things on their own, and their mothers do back at them. Dogs will mostly see humans as their masters/god. So really, the character might as well have been a turtle or a fish.

  101. Who spanks a dog?

  102. So the man was a mage that turned the boy into a dog to raep a loli? Complete and utter mindfuck.

  103. dogs can’t tell stories.

  104. Michael Myers Jan 4th 2010

    Nice twist.

  105. Mary Hatchet Jan 4th 2010

    The story dragged a bit, but the ending made it worth the read. I did not see that coming.

  106. Anonymous Jan 4th 2010

    I read the comments before the story, so no twist factor for me, but very good regardless.

  107. MisterVercetti Jan 5th 2010

    Uh… okay, double murder and kidnapping witnessed by the family dog.

    …WHAT?

  108. Damien Jan 5th 2010

    I totally didn’t expect the narrator being a DOG.

  109. Pinhead Jan 5th 2010

    Pain is the only truth in this world. This man should be celebrated for his efforts, while this dog should be held as an abomination for daring to prevent sorrow and tragedy.

  110. Sylar12 Jan 5th 2010

    …what the hell? It’s like freaking Robert Lawerence Stine wrote this story. Might’ve been scary if you’re 9 years old. Good description though.

  111. Anonymous Jan 5th 2010

    JANICE, IM FALLING

  112. Anonymous Jan 5th 2010

    this is more cute than creepy. a very sweet pasta, this is.

  113. THEN WHO WAS MAN

  114. Violent Harvest Jan 5th 2010

    A good twist, but the fact that’s it been done before by R.L. Stine mostly just made me scoff/laugh. Oh…. wait, it’s also the fact that the writing itself is absolutely fucking terrible.

  115. OMGBITCHTITS Jan 5th 2010

    @Avery,

    So you’re telling me that a turtle or a fish has paws?

    Really?

  116. Lawlz. Jan 5th 2010

    I’m seeing the only lawlz here as the negative commentary.

    The story had a good setup, flowed nicely, and wasn’t too long at all. And, you have to admit, the twist at the end was well-applied.

    I suppose my only question is what sort of dog it was, and why it cowered in fear, rather than fiercely protect its master like plenty of dogs would naturally do?

    All-in-all, too many people don’t know how to appreciate good work.

    And that, my friends, is lawlzy. :P

  117. ben dover Jan 5th 2010

    katurian basicaly said what i wanted to say

  118. ben dover Jan 5th 2010

    I think it would’ve been better if he was a bear

  119. lolwut Jan 5th 2010

    I kind of wanted the dog to rip out his throat.

  120. ZOMBEH GOASTS Jan 5th 2010

    THEN WHO WAS PAWS.

  121. Anonymous Jan 5th 2010

    It wasn’t creepy at all, well written? Yes, but not creepy. The dog part was easy to figure out, but it didn’t give me chills or anything, it just made me sympathize with the fact that he’s a dog, that’s it.

  122. greenshorts Jan 5th 2010

    The end scared the crap outta me, not sure why.

  123. Derange Jan 6th 2010

    Writing was HORRIBLE, but the twist made me go WAT!!! Kudos to you.

  124. -*.inc Jan 6th 2010

    No you fools, you got it wrong.
    It was a tiger.

  125. Anonymous Jan 6th 2010

    That was PATHETIC.

  126. this is probably one of the few stories on here that has a general “woah i didn’t see that coming “consensus with all the comments

    the story was generically written for the most part, but the plot was pretty original. i have to say i was expecting the killer to be the narrator’s real dad, coming to kill the adoptive family… which would have been SOOO typical, so thank you for picking an ending that surprised me and feel really sad for that little dog :’(

  127. Nolaire Jan 6th 2010

    Oh, that ending made me happy.
    Really, I was so annoyed with the protagonist for not doing anything at all. Good thing it was just a dog.

    I read it twice, though, because then the choice of words made more sense. (Barked, whimpered, etc)

    Great pasta. Not the creepiest I’ve ever read, but clever and original nonetheless.

  128. Captain r9k Jan 6th 2010

    Awhhhh, that’s sad!

    But I definitely did NOT see that coming, I enjoyed that thoroughly.

  129. Poupou. Jan 6th 2010

    Jesus H. Christ! So I’m supposed to find this creepy because there’s random murder and a dog? That’s fucking gay.

  130. jesus tapdancing christ on a cracker Jan 6th 2010

    I couldn’t even finish reading the third paragraph. This is horribly written– the sentences don’t flow well, and there are too many “filler” words.

    Whoever wrote this: you should be ashamed.

  131. Boris Jan 6th 2010

    Not really creepy, but well done. The twist reminded me of Goosebumps book.

  132. isantorin Jan 7th 2010

    full points for unexpected plot twist. O_O

  133. Anonymous Jan 7th 2010

    I don’t understand how anyone could not have seen this ‘twist’ coming from a mile away. What a boring read. There are so many better stories on this site which get totally slammed…

  134. Sama likes! Sama likes a lot!

    10/10

  135. Definitely unexpected ending. Writing was a little choppy (no pun intended) but the ending made up for that. I’d say 8.99999/10

  136. Pennywise Jan 7th 2010

    Excellent twist, with a lot of good referrences and hints beforehand. Going back and reading it a second time was fun, which is the sign of a good twist. However thats pretty much the only feature of the story, without it its just a short story about a household intruder with no conclusion. On the fence about this “creepypasta,” but an excellent twist nonetheless.

  137. becka Jan 7th 2010

    that was fucking amazing xD

  138. Anthony Jan 8th 2010

    This was the most obvious “you think its a kid then its a dog” story ever.
    Still pretty cool though, i like them.

  139. Anonymous Jan 8th 2010

    I thought this was reaaaaally good
    Like it was kind of weird at first, but at the end everything cleared up

  140. and then narrator was a dog

  141. This story was so terribly written that I didn’t even bother to finish it. I don’t see why it’s getting so many good reviews; I guess too few people have an accurate sense of writing quality.

  142. Anonymous Jan 9th 2010

    That dog is a coward, and this story was about 15 paragraphs too long. Shitty pasta, 3/10

  143. Anonymous Jan 9th 2010

    What a depressing ending. That feeling of helplessness must have been hell (even though it’s a dog)

    and all because he couldn’t open doors!

    But still, you’d think that the dog would have went ape shit on the intruder. What kind of pussy ass dog is that?

  144. Starzz Jan 9th 2010

    This was so great! A dog, that was so unexpected! Thats was fantastic! It was so unexpected. This has to be one of the best pastas I`ve ever read, but I do think it could`ve been wordded differently. Dont worry about the bad comments, cuz I garentee there are more good than bad. Good job. :)

  145. WAT A TWEEST! Kay the story wasnt all that well written but i honestly had no clue the narrator was a dog(or some other animal with paws).

  146. mngamojemo Jan 9th 2010

    Not only did I see the dog thing coming, I’m 100% sure the killer was a bear.

  147. dodoman1 Jan 9th 2010

    I love how all you people are pretending that you predicted the ending just so that you can say this pasta is bad. :P

    This is my new favorite pasta. You topped that one about the computer that kept mice. Good job.

  148. MidnightGirl Jan 10th 2010

    oh haha it’s a dog! Or maybe it’s just a werewolf person…who knows o.o

  149. Headhunter241 Jan 10th 2010

    NO! said john, I MUST FIGHT THE MURDERERS.
    No, john, you ARE the murderers.

    and then john was a jack russel terrier

  150. Horace Horrible Jan 11th 2010

    I also thought the narrator was a dildo before I read the end. At first I thought the killer was the guys biological dad.

  151. The first comment made me laugh.

  152. Anonymous Jan 13th 2010

    I really liked this story a lot! It really came as a surprise to me that he was, in fact, a dog. I didn’t get what they meant with the part about his sister, that they were about the same age, but she was still older, but he still saw him as his little sister. Neither did I get why the killer didn’t murder him the second he saw him. It all made sense in the end though.

  153. Lol Queen Jan 13th 2010

    Good ending. :)

  154. lolwut Jan 15th 2010

    At first I was like, but then I’m a dog.

  155. FAIL TWIST Jan 15th 2010

    FAIL TWIST WAS FAIL

  156. Lullabee Jan 16th 2010

    The only bit where you screwed up was where the father says, “Don’t you snort at your mother like that!” Who says that to a dog?! If he were soppy enough to think of the dog as his kid, he wouldn’t shout at it just for snorting. Anyway, when a dog snorts, it’s usually sneezing.

  157. aCJohnson Jan 17th 2010

    Okay. I have read a great range of comments from “Best pasta ever” to “utter crap pasta”. I guess you either loved it or hated it.

    Couple of things:

    People have made reference to a R. L. Stine book that this reminds them of… what is this book of which you speak (for I have never read it and therefore couldn’t have copied it intentionally).

    For the people who did not like the father telling the protagonist to shut up when he snorted at his “mother”, and finds this far fetched: my family has a history of treating their pets like sons/brothers/sisters/etc. My mother honest to God tells me to “Let my sister in the house” when she scratches on the door.

    And finally: What is so bad about my writing (for those of you who claim that it is poorly written)? Could you give me some USEFUL feedback? Or possibly tips on how I could improve it?

  158. That was so adorable! Okay, some of you may say, the person got brutally murdered, well I say nieh. I think it is realistic, because: If there are parents and then young girls in the house, parents are always murdered young girs areb taken to be abused in some way, but usually not murdered by creepy old men. 2: My mother also considers my dogs and cats and guinea pigs as brothers and sisters so the fact that these people would consider the dog as their son is realistic. Dogs are very protective of their owners, especially when you sleep in the same room as them, so, of course the dog would refer to the girl as little sis, ect. And for those of you who figured out that twist, then wooptiedoo! You should win an award! But, oh wait! you won’t! You’ll be too busy wasting you lves away at this site. For those of you who didn’t, and who actually liked the story, and who aren’t negative jerks, then you keep posting! You, keep reading! And, You don’t be pressured by the rest of these negative butts! So congrats to the writer, think what you want to think everyone else, but don’t be pressured if the majority doesn’t like it! And, random, but I think the dog was a pug!

  159. Anonymous Jan 17th 2010

    ..So the dog can’t open doors but he can type?

  160. Last 3 sentences made me say “PEDOBEAR”

  161. MonkeyDance Jan 19th 2010

    So… The dog allowed the guy to kill the entire family, kidnap the girl, AND pat him on the head while doing absolutely nothing? Every dog that I have EVER had would’ve ripped that guys throat off. Should have been a cat or some other non-protective animal…. Fail ending is fail….Everything else was well written though. So… Kudos?

  162. HOLY CRAP IT’S A DOG!!! :O I didn’t see that coming.

  163. Kreepy E Jan 21st 2010

    MonkeyDance, your a fucking idiot. Cats have paws too.

  164. theshadow Jan 22nd 2010

    that was a strange tasting pasta, but oh well! omnomnomnomnom! i was wondering why the narrator didn’t scream or get a knife from the kitchen! he doesn’t HAVE aposable thumbs cuz he’s a dog!

  165. FREE HOUSE, PARTY.

  166. i think this was pretty good, in fact. i liked the turn in the end. there were some typos, of course, but when he feels someone in the house, that creeped me a little.

  167. LivesInATownHouse Jan 24th 2010

    That’s some good pasta right there :D

  168. Why does everyone think it’s a dog?
    Might as well be a cat
    they have paws too

  169. I loved it!

  170. Chadachada123 Jan 28th 2010

    …The disgusting thing was that I was reading the majority of it as if it was the start of an epic rape-porn-pasta instead of a creepypasta. T_T

    Good story, great twist ending, totally didn’t see it coming at all. Not creepy, but still funny/sad/sick.

  171. Excellent pasta- first time I liked one enough to comment!

  172. Frob The builder Feb 2nd 2010

    LOL TWIST ENDING!

  173. Not really scary, just a good story, never woulda thought it was a dog.

  174. Eh... Feb 5th 2010

    So… he can’t open doors… but he can type… in English… interesting…

  175. Panda Feb 5th 2010

    Shitty shitty writing, I gave up half way through and skipped to the end. Okay conecept I guess, not really creepy pasta in any way :/

  176. The flow was kinda choppy in places, but I certainly didn’t see the twist coming at all. I’d give it a 6/10 for twist.

  177. Uerian Feb 6th 2010

    Wow. I like it most when twists are creepy, but exceptions can be made when they’re pulled off like this. 10/10.

  178. Once I figured out the twist… pants were shat.

  179. FadedSoul13 Feb 10th 2010

    I figured it was a dog form small little hints, But i was not very sure of it at first. I laughed when i found out it was a dog….but there was something bothering me about this…. What type of dog was it? Because if it was a dog on the bigger side i am sure that the dog would not just let the guy kill his family…Hell i even heard of smaller dogs attacking robbers and other people that come into their home. other then that the pasta was well written to me. Besides everyone writes different and so what? :D

    This pasta was meant for the dogs C:

  180. bling bling hyun Feb 12th 2010

    The writing’s incredibly shitty. I didn’t feel creeped out at all. :3 What a stupid dog.

  181. Anonymous Feb 12th 2010

    Not so much creepypasta as it is m.nightshamalanstyleplottwistpasta.

  182. Anonymous Feb 14th 2010

    THEN WHO WAS NAP?!!

  183. Non-moose Feb 15th 2010

    Wow… well written. and when you go back through the story, it all makes total sense… the dad hitting him to train him, discovery channel, adoption… Person who wrote this, you are genius.

    Of course, not all that creepy. just kind of… obscure.

    BTW, who was random hobo murderer/rapist.

  184. Anonymous Feb 17th 2010

    The dog twist was neat, but the dialogue was poorly written. Use less adverbs.

    BUT THEN WHO WAS PEDO RAPIST

  185. Anonymous Feb 21st 2010

    What a shitty dog.

  186. Anonymous Feb 23rd 2010

    I cried.

  187. REALLY good, very creepy! Poor puppy :( Dogs are so loyal, this played to that very well

  188. Anonymous Feb 28th 2010

    Somehow i knew by the fourth paragraph it was a dog and it ruined it for me.

    Think it was the whole sleeping on a pallet thing.

  189. Magenta Feb 28th 2010

    Ahhh really??

  190. egregori Mar 4th 2010

    HAH! I KNEW IT WAS A DOG!

  191. Anonymous Mar 9th 2010

    gud dog

  192. CHICKENS HEHE Mar 10th 2010

    Didn’t see that one coming xD
    But by the end when Emily was taken, etc. I was thinking, ‘Why aren’t you doing anything’ as I would do everything I could for the murderer to take me instead. BUT there ya go. Tasty Pasta.

  193. Anonymous Mar 11th 2010

    I loved it

  194. had it by “good boy” xP
    loved it.

  195. Anonymous Mar 28th 2010

    Best pasta I have read so far.

    Also the most depressing I have read ;(

  196. Anonymous Apr 2nd 2010

    That gave me chills, but I admire the build up, well done!

  197. DOGGY! Oh my god. I nearly cried. ]:
    Yeah, I don’t know why it’s sadder when it’s animals.

  198. Urma :) Apr 4th 2010

    wowwww. nice story. that was shocking &&nicely done. that last sentence really put me in place lol.

  199. Anonymous Apr 10th 2010

    wow that threw me for a loop

  200. Excellent! I honestly didn’t see it coming!

  201. Holy shit, i was expecting a “high-tension” like twist where the main character had a split personality, and it was actually her killing them after i read that the “man” ignored him/her. But my jaw dropped as i read the last sentence XD. Superb.

  202. Obvious dog narrator was obvious. His lack of ever talking, the pallet he had to sleep on, the words like “growled” and “whimper” and when he pointed out all the noise he was making.

  203. KikyoKagome May 6th 2010

    I DIDN REALIZE IT WAS A DOGTILL I READ A COMMENT XDDD i thought it was an orphan boy this whole time and then at the end i thought it was a crippled boy bcuz it said he was just sitting there staring at the door wishing he could open it but man was i off xDDD

  204. Cadpig May 26th 2010

    If he can’t open doors, how could he type this story?

  205. Anonymous May 27th 2010

    WHAT A TWEEST

  206. luddz Jun 2nd 2010

    oh my dog

    yeah, the lack of dialogue was quite unnerving, but really cool twist.
    reminds me of a tv-ad I saw the other day, where a goldfish witnessed a burglar.

    8/10

  207. luddz Jun 2nd 2010

    oh my dog

    yeah, the lack of dialogue was quite unnerving, but really cool twist.
    reminds me of a tv-ad I saw the other day, where a goldfish witnessed a burglar.

    8/10

  208. Pixel Jun 5th 2010

    Twists at the end are supposed to make it scary. This was clearly not the effect of that one.

  209. MOTHER FUUU- Jun 6th 2010

    SON. OF. A. FEMALE DOG. I was just played by a pasta. I guess all I can do now is kill myself.

  210. VEGANFAGGOTHOAR Jun 11th 2010

    DEPRESSING PASTA IS DEPRESSING.

    It’s good, but it makes me feel a little sad that he can’t do shit.

  211. brooklyn Jun 15th 2010

    that was crazy! i didnt expect him to be a dog. good twist in my opinion.

  212. Anomynous Jun 20th 2010

    Didn’t see that shit coming AT ALL.

  213. Anonymous Jun 20th 2010

    To me, it seemed as if you changed your mind in the middle. you dicided after you started writing that you would twist it into the character being a dog. If you ask me, you shouldn’t have had the dog “talking” in the beginning. You went in the opposite direction of trying to subtly hint from the beginning that it was a dog.

  214. good boy Jun 23rd 2010

    if he was a rottweiler that shit wouldnt have went down

  215. Bark? Jul 1st 2010

    Silly dog, you don’t talk. Now get away from this depressing pasta. You don’t belong here.

  216. devin Jul 1st 2010

    i thought the killer was the dogs dad coming to get him cause i thought he was human damn creepy

  217. Julian Jul 2nd 2010

    good foreshadowing but maybe a bit too much, i caught it at “pallet,” pretty good story though

  218. Shang Jul 3rd 2010

    ….so…was this a chuauhaha (however the hell you spell it -__-) or something? i mean, why didn’t the dog freakin’ attack the damn murderer?! sheesh. half-baked and could use more seasoning.
    5/10

  219. this made me laugh more then make me scared

  220. Amara Jul 5th 2010

    I thought it was sad :(
    Lol but excellent as well.
    I liked the writing.

  221. um...what? Jul 5th 2010

    oh my god, i loved it. absolutely loved it. the classic story of the love between a pet and the owner. so sad, yet…a great twist. fantastic. my favorite one

  222. You guys are douches. It was a very well written story, and no, you did not see the twist, you are not impressing anyone. STFU

  223. YumYumVagoo Jul 7th 2010

    Why the fuck didn’t he go for the murderer as he was walking past him? Stupid animal.

  224. The Answer Jul 10th 2010

    Once again, this was a long pasta but definately worth it.
    Reading back at how the dog “barked” at the girl to wake up and how he was abused by the father and never talked as the girl talked to him, it all came together.

    He was a freaking dog the whole time :)

  225. Fox Mulder Jul 11th 2010

    LOL. This was actually pretty clever.

  226. I managed to spoil the end to myself before even reading the whole story by checking the last paragraph.
    Why do I always do that? >.<

  227. Yellow teeth? Dogs are color blind.
    But seriously didn’t see that coming.

  228. mesohungry Jul 20th 2010

    I liked this. It was full of little hints, but not so obvious that you lost interest before you read he had paws.

  229. shelby :) Jul 21st 2010

    this was really cool. nice job! i loved this one.

  230. Anonymous Jul 25th 2010

    Clever as fuck.

  231. Anonymous Jul 26th 2010

    I liked it. but I did see it coming a mile away. Still, not much of a dog, must have been a small breed. Should have gotten a German Shepard.

  232. I loved it.

  233. If it wasn’t for the twist, this wouldn’t be very good but the twist made it good and I wasn’t expecting it.

  234. mindshark Aug 10th 2010

    OH MY GOD!!!! BEST ONE EVAR!!!!!

  235. SleepyPasta Aug 14th 2010

    Nice.

  236. Orestes Aug 15th 2010

    Well, it’s a good thing the dog can apparently type, so the cops can get his testimony.

    It also seems that Hagrid is going on a murder-rape killing spree, again.

  237. That was really cute and well written. It really shows how much dogs love you until the end. Loved it.

  238. The twist was okay, but after the twist, a lot of the story makes no sense at all. Why would the dad yell at the dog for snorting at Janice? You tried to make him far too human and failed. I get it, dogs aren’t self aware, but still, some of his actions were a little retarded. 5/10

  239. thisisissee Aug 21st 2010

    Loved it.

    I\’ve read a story like this once before, where you think a mother is about to murder to feed her babies, when you realise she\’s a cat..

  240. Kaiser Aug 22nd 2010

    i was like wtf why cant he open doors? then i thought and it came to me.
    It’s a MotherFuckin’ DOG. that was good. i give it a perfect 10.

  241. I saw it coming. I barked.

  242. Icalasari Aug 24th 2010

    Wait, why wouldn’t the dog bite the guy? Big dogs can be quite nasty when they see someone they perceive as dangerous, and small dogs… Well, they tend to act self important and will still nip at someone

    Still a great story, but hell, that dog must have been coddled WAY too much

    …DAMNIT NOW I CAN’T HELP BUT IMAGINE A TALKING DOG GETTING IT ON WITH A YOUNG WOMAN! >.<

  243. El_Chupacabra Aug 26th 2010

    Holy shit that caught me off guard. I totally feel like a retard.

  244. fingajelly Aug 28th 2010

    “Good Boy” “I was clearly joking, I GROWLED under my breath” “There’s someone in the house, I BARKED” Wonderful twist great story! :D


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