Doors
I was adopted. I never knew my real mother; rather, I knew her at one time but I left her side when I was too little to be able to remember. I loved my adopted family though. They were so kind to me. I ate well, I lived in a warm and comfortable house, and I got to stay up pretty late.
Let me tell you about my family real fast: First, there’s my mother. I never called her Mom or anything like that; I just called her by her first name. Janice. She didn’t mind at all though. I called her that for so long, I don’t think she even noticed. Anyhow, she was a very kind woman. I think that she is the one who recommended my adoption in the first place. Sometimes I would lay my head against her in front of the television and she would tickle my back with her nails. She is one of those Hollywood mothers.
Second, there’s Dad. His real name was Richard, but he never really liked me much so I began to refer to him as Dad in a desperate attempt to gain his affection. It didn’t work. I think that no matter what I called him, he would never love me as much as his own child. That’s understandable so I really didn’t press the matter. The most notable attribute of Dad was his unmoving sternness. He was not afraid to pop his children when they did something wrong. I found that out before I could use the restroom properly. He didn’t hesitate to spank me. Well, I’m in line and it’s because of his methods.
Lastly, is my sister. Little Emily was really young when I was adopted, so we were about the same age, but she was slightly older. I liked to think of her as my little sister, though. We got along better than any sibling could possibly get along. We would always stay up late together and just talk. Well, she did a lot of the talking; I mostly just listened because I loved her. It was a great setup that we had! We were short on bedrooms, so- because I didn’t want to sleep in the living room by myself when I was littler- I had a pallet set up for me next to her bed on the floor. This is where I have slept since. But it was cool with me because I enjoyed being with her and I had always felt pretty protective of my little sis.
Everything changed on a horrible Wednesday night. I was at home taking a nap when little Emily opened the front door. The sound of the door opening pulled me to a state of consciousness and I walked from the room down the hall to the living room. That’s when I first remembered it was Wednesday. I was never any good at keeping track of what day it was. Actually I’ll just go ahead and say it: My sense of time was HORRIBLE! But nevertheless, I knew it was Wednesday because Emily had just come home from her Church’s youth group gathering. She walked in the front door and hugged me, and then was followed in by Dad and Janice.
“You have a good nap?” Janice said teasingly as she ruffled up my hair. I just shook my head away and snorted in a manner that clearly expressed that I was teasing back with her.
“Don’t you snort at your mother like that!” said my father gruffly with authority. He shut the door behind him and hung up his coat.
“I was clearly joking…” I growled under my breath. He must not have heard me because I didn’t feel him smack me. Emily then proceeded to our room and I followed. She started telling me about her day. You know… usual teenage girl stuff. But I listened so that she would feel better. After her summary she suggested watching TV and I obliged and jumped onto the couch as she was going for the remote. She rolled her eyes at my little-brother-like immaturity and scooted me over and sat down. The TV turned on and we watched it together until the sun went down. Emily was the kind of girl that- instead of watching cartoons and soap operas- would rather watch Discovery and Animal Planet and Natural Geographic. I like those too so I didn’t mind. Actually, those were the only channels that can hold my attention.
So it got late and Janice walked up behind the sofa. “Emily it’s past your bed time. Turn off the television and go to your room. You too.” she pointed at me. Emily turned off the program we were watching grudgingly and stood up. She started down the hallway to our room. As I followed I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.
We went into our room and Emily turned off the light. Just as she did, I caught a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye. It was out the window, but as soon as I redirected my line of sight to where the window was no longer in my peripheral vision, what it was that I thought I saw was gone. I still remained alert. For my sister’s sake.
I laid there in the darkness with nothing but the thin ray of light from the street lamp outside to illuminate the room. It wasn’t much. Time and time again I could have sworn that I heard subtle sounds just out the window… a twig break, leaves crunching, clothes jostling. And all the while I could smell a faint stench of sweat and blood. I kept my eyes open most of the night.
The sounds outside subsided and the smell left my nose. I began to feel at ease. My eyelids closed.
Not long after that, I heard a very loud crash on the other side of the house. I was up in an instant. “THERE’S SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE!” I barked with extreme adrenaline coursing through me. “Wake up!” I shrilly pleaded with Emily. She did, and as soon as I saw her sit up I ran to my parent’s room…
Dad was dead. His neck was splayed open and gaping as blood spilled out of it, off the bed, and onto the floor. I saw that the master bathroom’s door was closed and just before it- on the outside- was a man.
A man… I don’t feel comfortable calling it that.
He was very large and rugged. He turned around and saw me and that’s when I saw him accurately for the first time. I wont forget it. His eyes were large and beady and trapped with lust. He was styling a beard that was badly unkempt with blood dripping off. His clothes were dirty and his face was cold. Just then I noticed the same horrid smell of sweat and blood from earlier, but this time it was overwhelming.
He saw me. He saw me and grinned with a set of crooked yellow teeth. That smile threw me off. I thought that I was going to die, but then he turned back to the bathroom door completely unperturbed by my presence. I was terrified and didn’t no what to do. I just yelled and cried. I watched as he shouldered through door that was Mom’s only protection. I watched as he raised the large razor that he was carrying, but had obviously neglected to use properly. I watched as he sliced her open and tore her to shreds…
I then heard something; the last thing that I wanted to hear… It was Emily’s scream coming from behind me. The large monstrosity looked up from my butchered mother and stared at my little sister. I was distraught. He stood up and quickly started walking toward us. My sis turned and ran, and I was at a loss when he bypassed me and went straight after her. Why was she still in the house? Had she not assessed the situation and run? Apparently not, and now she was dead and I was alone.
I ran after them both. I expected the man to kill her as he had the rest of my family, but I was sadly mistaken. He grabbed her by the arm and jerked her as a way to make clear that he was in control. He dragged her through the house… I was making all of the noise I could now, hoping and praying that someone would come to my aid. He mustn’t take her. Not her.
As he passed me I backed against the wall and whimpered with terror, “Why?” He didn’t respond except by putting his free hand on my head while Emily screamed in the other and saying “Good boy.” He gave another crooked grin and a very cold, unnatural laugh. I followed him to the door where he dragged my helpless sister after him. He opened it, pulled her out, and slammed it shut behind him.
I am now sitting in the house with my mutilated adopted parents, shivering and whimpering with dismay. He’s out there with her. Doing who-knows-what to her, and I can’t do anything. I would if I could, but I can’t. I would chase after them in a heartbeat, but I can’t. I sit here, looking at the front door. I look down at my paws. If only I could open doors…
–
Credited to aCJohnson
So, um, this is more funny than it is scary. You’re expecting bloody murder, suddenly HOLY SHIT IT’S A DOG LOL
Good twist, I suppose, but maybe it was just me who couldn’t see it coming.
Credited to M. Night Shyamalan.
I deffinetely DID NOT see that coming.
I loved this one (:
So it’s creepy because the narrator is a dog?
I realized it was a dog in the third paragraph…
That’s just weird.
Not scary.
O_o
Damn good. I never had a clue.
HAHA I GET IT
You got some typos tho faggot
OH…..
the narrator was a dog….
figures…..
That was really good. I wasn’t expecting the twist at the end.
oh he’s a dog.
So I’m a dog. Damn, if only i could typogjgkfjvjjnfjjfk.
This is a good one. I had a hunch that the protagonist would end up being a dog, but I had actually forgotten all about that hunch by the time I was half-way through they story! After finishing it, I went back and skimmed over it again. It was then that I noticed the somewhat subtle hints — the doublespeak, if you will — that alluded to the narrator’s true form.
…why paws? why?!
Jesus CHRIST this is sad o____________________o
stupid dogs. can’t speak english or open doors.
it scared me that a thing likea dog would think it’s as important as a human. sickening. fuck you dog.
That was way cool
by the end i thought “this it stupid, why didnt he call anyone or fight back or go after him or anything” and then the twist ending definitely got me. Was not expecting that at all! Loved this one! It makes so much sense now! haha
I wasn’t very fond of the person narrating until the very last sentence. I kept thinking to myself what a tool, who sleeps on the floor? Great story.
Definitely didn’t see that coming but I’m sure plenty of people will say it was obvious due to the channel selection or something. I think it is creepy in the way that it’s insight into a thought process some may never have considered.
… Seriously?
Awesome story,I like it how you put little clues about the protag - barking,whimpering.
Not that scary,but really well written.
What a neat story. Very delicious pasta, totally didn’t see the ending coming.
this had a lot of potential, but it took way too long to get to the fucking point and was poorly written, it sounded like a livejournal post for the first ten paragraphs.
clever. it was a dog.
What a twist!
Also, excellent story. Not sure if it’s creepypasta exactly, but I’m willing to let that slide.
ITS A DOG HOLY FUCK
DELECIOUS!! LUVED IT!! …he can’t open doors? They cut off his hands????… omg… where the hands cut off that night? or where they cut off a long time ago?… Was that why he was abandoned??
I LOVE the mystery in this story
and the action too
YUMMYLISIOUS PASTA! I’d love to have more…
FIRST omg, but then who was grin?
OMG!!!!! PAWS!!!!!!!! URE A DOG!!!!!!!! THEY ADOPTED A DOG!!!!!! NOW I GET IT!!!!!!
this isn’t as good now….
OMG i ssee the clues… “barked” “growled under my breath”… “a bit protective to her”…. “PAWS” … “CANNOT OPEN DOORS”…
ITS SURELY A DOG!!
at first I didnt get it
now
I get it.
For me, this was extremely predictable. I dunno why but throughout the whole story I got the sense that this was being told through the eyes of a house pet. Maybe it was the fact that he slept on the floor or maybe it was growl when the family came home from church. What really confirmed my suspicions before the paws gave it away were the attentiveness towards television channels that generally focus on animals, and then the keen sense of smell and awareness. It wasn’t too creepy, but I did get a strong feeling of helplessness. Glad to see a pasta finally told from a different point of view than a human or transformation of a human. Kudos!
LOVE this one. The ending was both sad and funny…
i thought this was pretty mediocre until the very last lines which really saved the pasta for me. it made me go back and read the whole thing again to notice all the hints. i like it a lot more now.
Oh my, this is good, clever too.
Wow what a great twist! Loved the story, despite it not being paticuarly creepy. Well written and I hope to more like it.
I had to read it a second time before I figured out the payoff. Interesting tomato-in-the-mirror twist, but when you read it again it stops being creepy and becomes depressing.
Wait, what? If he was an animal the whole time, why would the father yell at him for snorting at the mother?
It wasn’t even well-written.
But people don’t have paw- OH!
Really nice.
The twist was unexpected,and it is interesting to see creepypastas trough another perspective
HA HA HA OH WOW
I love the twist at the end! Totally wasn’t expecting that.
Great story!!! ^^
Shit, if I were that dog I’d have ripped his throat out when I saw dad dead on the bed. Like, proper ripped it out.
Also, first?
BUT WHO WAS DOG?!?
Not creepy. Was the fact that it was a dog supposed to be a twist? I saw it from the beginning.
This has got to be one of the best pastas I’ve eaten in a while. The twist at the end was really good.
9 out of 10.
What a stupid dog. If he was loyal at all, he would have attacked the shit out of that motherfucker. I don’t see what is creepy about this.. it is an okay story, but… HE WAS A DOG ALL ALONG. WHAT A TWEEST.
Nice story, needs a little polish but really interesting concept
Hahahaha
That was pretty painful to read, but the end was awesome.
lol he’s a dog
So…him being a dog is suppose to make me shit brix? How is this pasta creepy in any way? Someone care to explain?
Wow that was a good one the end really got me actually I throughly enjoyed this one
I see what you did thar.
Not creepy tho.
Awesome mindfuck. Second read-through and it’s so obvious.
nothing new, saw the “twist” ending three seconds after the word “adopted.”
So, he was a Dog?
Sad story
:/
Bad pasta is bad.
Very nice. I did not see the ending coming at all.
First?
what a tweest!
a “meh” story saved by a good ending.
That ending was kind of expected, but I WAT’d when I read the end. 10/10
feeeeerfuuck ? is he a dog or something ?
Now THIS is a twist ending done right. On the second read through, it’s great how subtle little things add up to the conclusion. The author obviously put a lot of effort into that. Delicious pasta.
So… the twist is that the narrator is a dog? A fitting end to a long, boring, badly written pasta.
Riiiiiight.
Wait, what? Was it a cat or somthing?
Brix shitting twist ending!
WAIT, WHAT
F**KING SH*T I didn’t see that coming… at all!. That was a real shock. I can’t say that it was too creepy, or very well written, but it was a really good pasta, enough scary. PERFECT ending though, and a story’s ending is the most important part. The desperate situation of the main character was very well transmitted to my own feelings.
10/10
Congratulations. I shat bricks.
“I didn’t no what to do”
stopped reading right there
wat
Not bad… Pretty good, in fact, but the twist that he was a dog came from a mile away…
Wow, I didn’t see that coming, though I did wonder why he slept on the floor
Completely predictable.
Wasn’t written very well and poor flow.
Oh my god.
Best one in a few months IMO. Thanks.
Call me stupid, but I can honestly say I didn’t see that one coming.
I can’t believe it got put up here! Yay me!
inb4 WHO WAS KIDNAPPER?
I didn’t even see that coming, wow. That was actually pretty good.
I knew he would turn out to be a dog!
Good read.
hahahahahahahahaha
this made me really sad
Fuck, I didn’t see that coming.
i really enjoyed this. not too heavy on the creepy side, but the ending was unexpected and yet made so much sense, very good execution. congratulations mr. johnson, i salute you for bringing a quality pasta to this site.
The ending really surprised me, and a melancholic shiver ran down my spine.
Very well-written and catchy pasta.
Kudos.
Is it bad that I lol’d?
Also, is it weird that I didn’t care if the man killed Emily, but when he hinted at rape I no longer liked this story?
Whoa…I was expecting a run-of-the-mill, cliche pasta, but the ending caught me completely off guard.
Definitely worth a read.
WTF. A DOG.
LAME.
You should have worded the ending different
i liked this one, great pasta with twisted ending.
You guys are seriously surprised by the “twist” in this? It was obvious the narrator was a dog from, like, the third paragraph. The entire time I’m just thinking to myself “Okay, he’s a dog get to the scary”, but the scary never came.
Boring pasta propped up by a lame twist ending that has nothing to do with anything.
Went from vaguely creepy to vaguely comical in one sentence.
probably the only pasta that had a properly written twist.11/10 stars
For the life of me I can’t understand why this is being so well reviewed. The writing was god-awful (maybe that was the point because dogs are dumb or something, but still), the twist has been done in Goosebumps, of all places, and the father’s behavior when they return makes no sense whatsoever considering that it’s a dog that’s doing the snorting. And on top of all that, IT WASN’T CREEPY.
Wow! I thought it was written kind of badly straight up until the end, which surprised me. That was one of the best endings I’ve read in awhile.
son of a bitch.
so the dad spanks the dog and refers to janice as its mother?
NICE i liked this one… though I felt sorry for Emily
lol.
Quite sad. I like it, but I have a bit of a soft spot for dogs.
I saw the twist coming and when it came, it was still good. A little surprising considering how i was expecting a creepy imaginary friend or something haha.
The writing was a little too mechanical for my taste though. Sometimes you were mature, other times you were like a little immature boy.
But the clues you left throughout your story were clever. After realizing that it wasn’t going to be some other being, all the clues fell into place neatly. Good pasta, not creepy though.
One pasta that did not screw the pooch like so many others
A dog is not capable of perceiving others as a mother/father/sister figure. Dogs abandon such things right as they are able to do things on their own, and their mothers do back at them. Dogs will mostly see humans as their masters/god. So really, the character might as well have been a turtle or a fish.
Who spanks a dog?
So the man was a mage that turned the boy into a dog to raep a loli? Complete and utter mindfuck.
dogs can’t tell stories.
Nice twist.
The story dragged a bit, but the ending made it worth the read. I did not see that coming.
I read the comments before the story, so no twist factor for me, but very good regardless.
Uh… okay, double murder and kidnapping witnessed by the family dog.
…
…
…WHAT?
I totally didn’t expect the narrator being a DOG.
Pain is the only truth in this world. This man should be celebrated for his efforts, while this dog should be held as an abomination for daring to prevent sorrow and tragedy.
…what the hell? It’s like freaking Robert Lawerence Stine wrote this story. Might’ve been scary if you’re 9 years old. Good description though.
JANICE, IM FALLING
this is more cute than creepy. a very sweet pasta, this is.
THEN WHO WAS MAN
A good twist, but the fact that’s it been done before by R.L. Stine mostly just made me scoff/laugh. Oh…. wait, it’s also the fact that the writing itself is absolutely fucking terrible.
@Avery,
So you’re telling me that a turtle or a fish has paws?
Really?
I’m seeing the only lawlz here as the negative commentary.
The story had a good setup, flowed nicely, and wasn’t too long at all. And, you have to admit, the twist at the end was well-applied.
I suppose my only question is what sort of dog it was, and why it cowered in fear, rather than fiercely protect its master like plenty of dogs would naturally do?
All-in-all, too many people don’t know how to appreciate good work.
And that, my friends, is lawlzy.
katurian basicaly said what i wanted to say
I think it would’ve been better if he was a bear
I kind of wanted the dog to rip out his throat.
THEN WHO WAS PAWS.
It wasn’t creepy at all, well written? Yes, but not creepy. The dog part was easy to figure out, but it didn’t give me chills or anything, it just made me sympathize with the fact that he’s a dog, that’s it.
The end scared the crap outta me, not sure why.
Writing was HORRIBLE, but the twist made me go WAT!!! Kudos to you.
No you fools, you got it wrong.
It was a tiger.
That was PATHETIC.
this is probably one of the few stories on here that has a general “woah i didn’t see that coming “consensus with all the comments
the story was generically written for the most part, but the plot was pretty original. i have to say i was expecting the killer to be the narrator’s real dad, coming to kill the adoptive family… which would have been SOOO typical, so thank you for picking an ending that surprised me and feel really sad for that little dog :’(
Oh, that ending made me happy.
Really, I was so annoyed with the protagonist for not doing anything at all. Good thing it was just a dog.
I read it twice, though, because then the choice of words made more sense. (Barked, whimpered, etc)
Great pasta. Not the creepiest I’ve ever read, but clever and original nonetheless.
Awhhhh, that’s sad!
But I definitely did NOT see that coming, I enjoyed that thoroughly.
Jesus H. Christ! So I’m supposed to find this creepy because there’s random murder and a dog? That’s fucking gay.
I couldn’t even finish reading the third paragraph. This is horribly written– the sentences don’t flow well, and there are too many “filler” words.
Whoever wrote this: you should be ashamed.
Not really creepy, but well done. The twist reminded me of Goosebumps book.
full points for unexpected plot twist. O_O
I don’t understand how anyone could not have seen this ‘twist’ coming from a mile away. What a boring read. There are so many better stories on this site which get totally slammed…
Sama likes! Sama likes a lot!
10/10
Definitely unexpected ending. Writing was a little choppy (no pun intended) but the ending made up for that. I’d say 8.99999/10
Excellent twist, with a lot of good referrences and hints beforehand. Going back and reading it a second time was fun, which is the sign of a good twist. However thats pretty much the only feature of the story, without it its just a short story about a household intruder with no conclusion. On the fence about this “creepypasta,” but an excellent twist nonetheless.
that was fucking amazing xD
This was the most obvious “you think its a kid then its a dog” story ever.
Still pretty cool though, i like them.
I thought this was reaaaaally good
Like it was kind of weird at first, but at the end everything cleared up
and then narrator was a dog
This story was so terribly written that I didn’t even bother to finish it. I don’t see why it’s getting so many good reviews; I guess too few people have an accurate sense of writing quality.
That dog is a coward, and this story was about 15 paragraphs too long. Shitty pasta, 3/10
What a depressing ending. That feeling of helplessness must have been hell (even though it’s a dog)
and all because he couldn’t open doors!
But still, you’d think that the dog would have went ape shit on the intruder. What kind of pussy ass dog is that?
This was so great! A dog, that was so unexpected! Thats was fantastic! It was so unexpected. This has to be one of the best pastas I`ve ever read, but I do think it could`ve been wordded differently. Dont worry about the bad comments, cuz I garentee there are more good than bad. Good job.
WAT A TWEEST! Kay the story wasnt all that well written but i honestly had no clue the narrator was a dog(or some other animal with paws).
Not only did I see the dog thing coming, I’m 100% sure the killer was a bear.
I love how all you people are pretending that you predicted the ending just so that you can say this pasta is bad.
This is my new favorite pasta. You topped that one about the computer that kept mice. Good job.
oh haha it’s a dog! Or maybe it’s just a werewolf person…who knows o.o
NO! said john, I MUST FIGHT THE MURDERERS.
No, john, you ARE the murderers.
and then john was a jack russel terrier
I also thought the narrator was a dildo before I read the end. At first I thought the killer was the guys biological dad.
The first comment made me laugh.
I really liked this story a lot! It really came as a surprise to me that he was, in fact, a dog. I didn’t get what they meant with the part about his sister, that they were about the same age, but she was still older, but he still saw him as his little sister. Neither did I get why the killer didn’t murder him the second he saw him. It all made sense in the end though.
Good ending.
At first I was like, but then I’m a dog.
FAIL TWIST WAS FAIL
The only bit where you screwed up was where the father says, “Don’t you snort at your mother like that!” Who says that to a dog?! If he were soppy enough to think of the dog as his kid, he wouldn’t shout at it just for snorting. Anyway, when a dog snorts, it’s usually sneezing.
Okay. I have read a great range of comments from “Best pasta ever” to “utter crap pasta”. I guess you either loved it or hated it.
Couple of things:
People have made reference to a R. L. Stine book that this reminds them of… what is this book of which you speak (for I have never read it and therefore couldn’t have copied it intentionally).
For the people who did not like the father telling the protagonist to shut up when he snorted at his “mother”, and finds this far fetched: my family has a history of treating their pets like sons/brothers/sisters/etc. My mother honest to God tells me to “Let my sister in the house” when she scratches on the door.
And finally: What is so bad about my writing (for those of you who claim that it is poorly written)? Could you give me some USEFUL feedback? Or possibly tips on how I could improve it?
That was so adorable! Okay, some of you may say, the person got brutally murdered, well I say nieh. I think it is realistic, because: If there are parents and then young girls in the house, parents are always murdered young girs areb taken to be abused in some way, but usually not murdered by creepy old men. 2: My mother also considers my dogs and cats and guinea pigs as brothers and sisters so the fact that these people would consider the dog as their son is realistic. Dogs are very protective of their owners, especially when you sleep in the same room as them, so, of course the dog would refer to the girl as little sis, ect. And for those of you who figured out that twist, then wooptiedoo! You should win an award! But, oh wait! you won’t! You’ll be too busy wasting you lves away at this site. For those of you who didn’t, and who actually liked the story, and who aren’t negative jerks, then you keep posting! You, keep reading! And, You don’t be pressured by the rest of these negative butts! So congrats to the writer, think what you want to think everyone else, but don’t be pressured if the majority doesn’t like it! And, random, but I think the dog was a pug!
..So the dog can’t open doors but he can type?
Last 3 sentences made me say “PEDOBEAR”
So… The dog allowed the guy to kill the entire family, kidnap the girl, AND pat him on the head while doing absolutely nothing? Every dog that I have EVER had would’ve ripped that guys throat off. Should have been a cat or some other non-protective animal…. Fail ending is fail….Everything else was well written though. So… Kudos?
HOLY CRAP IT’S A DOG!!! :O I didn’t see that coming.
MonkeyDance, your a fucking idiot. Cats have paws too.
that was a strange tasting pasta, but oh well! omnomnomnomnom! i was wondering why the narrator didn’t scream or get a knife from the kitchen! he doesn’t HAVE aposable thumbs cuz he’s a dog!
FREE HOUSE, PARTY.
i think this was pretty good, in fact. i liked the turn in the end. there were some typos, of course, but when he feels someone in the house, that creeped me a little.
That’s some good pasta right there
Why does everyone think it’s a dog?
Might as well be a cat
they have paws too
I loved it!
…The disgusting thing was that I was reading the majority of it as if it was the start of an epic rape-porn-pasta instead of a creepypasta. T_T
Good story, great twist ending, totally didn’t see it coming at all. Not creepy, but still funny/sad/sick.
Excellent pasta- first time I liked one enough to comment!
LOL TWIST ENDING!
Not really scary, just a good story, never woulda thought it was a dog.
So… he can’t open doors… but he can type… in English… interesting…
Shitty shitty writing, I gave up half way through and skipped to the end. Okay conecept I guess, not really creepy pasta in any way :/
The flow was kinda choppy in places, but I certainly didn’t see the twist coming at all. I’d give it a 6/10 for twist.
Wow. I like it most when twists are creepy, but exceptions can be made when they’re pulled off like this. 10/10.
Once I figured out the twist… pants were shat.
I figured it was a dog form small little hints, But i was not very sure of it at first. I laughed when i found out it was a dog….but there was something bothering me about this…. What type of dog was it? Because if it was a dog on the bigger side i am sure that the dog would not just let the guy kill his family…Hell i even heard of smaller dogs attacking robbers and other people that come into their home. other then that the pasta was well written to me. Besides everyone writes different and so what?
This pasta was meant for the dogs C:
The writing’s incredibly shitty. I didn’t feel creeped out at all. :3 What a stupid dog.
Not so much creepypasta as it is m.nightshamalanstyleplottwistpasta.
THEN WHO WAS NAP?!!
Wow… well written. and when you go back through the story, it all makes total sense… the dad hitting him to train him, discovery channel, adoption… Person who wrote this, you are genius.
Of course, not all that creepy. just kind of… obscure.
BTW, who was random hobo murderer/rapist.
The dog twist was neat, but the dialogue was poorly written. Use less adverbs.
BUT THEN WHO WAS PEDO RAPIST
What a shitty dog.
I cried.
REALLY good, very creepy! Poor puppy
Dogs are so loyal, this played to that very well
Somehow i knew by the fourth paragraph it was a dog and it ruined it for me.
Think it was the whole sleeping on a pallet thing.
Ahhh really??
HAH! I KNEW IT WAS A DOG!
gud dog
Didn’t see that one coming xD
But by the end when Emily was taken, etc. I was thinking, ‘Why aren’t you doing anything’ as I would do everything I could for the murderer to take me instead. BUT there ya go. Tasty Pasta.
I loved it
had it by “good boy” xP
loved it.
Best pasta I have read so far.
Also the most depressing I have read ;(
That gave me chills, but I admire the build up, well done!
DOGGY! Oh my god. I nearly cried. ]:
Yeah, I don’t know why it’s sadder when it’s animals.
wowwww. nice story. that was shocking &&nicely done. that last sentence really put me in place lol.
wow that threw me for a loop
Excellent! I honestly didn’t see it coming!
Holy shit, i was expecting a “high-tension” like twist where the main character had a split personality, and it was actually her killing them after i read that the “man” ignored him/her. But my jaw dropped as i read the last sentence XD. Superb.
Obvious dog narrator was obvious. His lack of ever talking, the pallet he had to sleep on, the words like “growled” and “whimper” and when he pointed out all the noise he was making.
I DIDN REALIZE IT WAS A DOGTILL I READ A COMMENT XDDD i thought it was an orphan boy this whole time and then at the end i thought it was a crippled boy bcuz it said he was just sitting there staring at the door wishing he could open it but man was i off xDDD
If he can’t open doors, how could he type this story?
WHAT A TWEEST
oh my dog
yeah, the lack of dialogue was quite unnerving, but really cool twist.
reminds me of a tv-ad I saw the other day, where a goldfish witnessed a burglar.
8/10
oh my dog
yeah, the lack of dialogue was quite unnerving, but really cool twist.
reminds me of a tv-ad I saw the other day, where a goldfish witnessed a burglar.
8/10
Twists at the end are supposed to make it scary. This was clearly not the effect of that one.
SON. OF. A. FEMALE DOG. I was just played by a pasta. I guess all I can do now is kill myself.
DEPRESSING PASTA IS DEPRESSING.
It’s good, but it makes me feel a little sad that he can’t do shit.
that was crazy! i didnt expect him to be a dog. good twist in my opinion.
Didn’t see that shit coming AT ALL.
To me, it seemed as if you changed your mind in the middle. you dicided after you started writing that you would twist it into the character being a dog. If you ask me, you shouldn’t have had the dog “talking” in the beginning. You went in the opposite direction of trying to subtly hint from the beginning that it was a dog.
if he was a rottweiler that shit wouldnt have went down
Silly dog, you don’t talk. Now get away from this depressing pasta. You don’t belong here.
i thought the killer was the dogs dad coming to get him cause i thought he was human damn creepy
good foreshadowing but maybe a bit too much, i caught it at “pallet,” pretty good story though
….so…was this a chuauhaha (however the hell you spell it -__-) or something? i mean, why didn’t the dog freakin’ attack the damn murderer?! sheesh. half-baked and could use more seasoning.
5/10
this made me laugh more then make me scared
I thought it was sad
Lol but excellent as well.
I liked the writing.
oh my god, i loved it. absolutely loved it. the classic story of the love between a pet and the owner. so sad, yet…a great twist. fantastic. my favorite one
You guys are douches. It was a very well written story, and no, you did not see the twist, you are not impressing anyone. STFU
Why the fuck didn’t he go for the murderer as he was walking past him? Stupid animal.
Once again, this was a long pasta but definately worth it.
Reading back at how the dog “barked” at the girl to wake up and how he was abused by the father and never talked as the girl talked to him, it all came together.
He was a freaking dog the whole time
LOL. This was actually pretty clever.
I managed to spoil the end to myself before even reading the whole story by checking the last paragraph.
Why do I always do that? >.<
Yellow teeth? Dogs are color blind.
But seriously didn’t see that coming.
I liked this. It was full of little hints, but not so obvious that you lost interest before you read he had paws.
this was really cool. nice job! i loved this one.
Clever as fuck.
I liked it. but I did see it coming a mile away. Still, not much of a dog, must have been a small breed. Should have gotten a German Shepard.
I loved it.
If it wasn’t for the twist, this wouldn’t be very good but the twist made it good and I wasn’t expecting it.
OH MY GOD!!!! BEST ONE EVAR!!!!!
Nice.
Well, it’s a good thing the dog can apparently type, so the cops can get his testimony.
It also seems that Hagrid is going on a murder-rape killing spree, again.
That was really cute and well written. It really shows how much dogs love you until the end. Loved it.
The twist was okay, but after the twist, a lot of the story makes no sense at all. Why would the dad yell at the dog for snorting at Janice? You tried to make him far too human and failed. I get it, dogs aren’t self aware, but still, some of his actions were a little retarded. 5/10
Loved it.
I\’ve read a story like this once before, where you think a mother is about to murder to feed her babies, when you realise she\’s a cat..
i was like wtf why cant he open doors? then i thought and it came to me.
It’s a MotherFuckin’ DOG. that was good. i give it a perfect 10.
I saw it coming. I barked.
Wait, why wouldn’t the dog bite the guy? Big dogs can be quite nasty when they see someone they perceive as dangerous, and small dogs… Well, they tend to act self important and will still nip at someone
Still a great story, but hell, that dog must have been coddled WAY too much
…DAMNIT NOW I CAN’T HELP BUT IMAGINE A TALKING DOG GETTING IT ON WITH A YOUNG WOMAN! >.<
Holy shit that caught me off guard. I totally feel like a retard.
“Good Boy” “I was clearly joking, I GROWLED under my breath” “There’s someone in the house, I BARKED” Wonderful twist great story!