Estimated reading time — < 1 minute
There’s a movie theater in downtown Phoenix, Arizona that only plays movies from 1987. If you pay for 3 tickets and buy a large popcorn, they will play a film that shows you your future. If you watch the entire film completely, you will have sleeping problems for the rest of your life.
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i’m the bagel so say my name
Alright, Ive done that. Now what?
He will save us! Candlejack will sa
Ummm okay…
Awesome Story
Def not the best. 3/10 cringey
Short and not scary. That is all
This is art
Just like I will have sleeping problems for the rest of my life after treading this crap
That’s kinda cool
This could be a cool story. If someone took time to you know, actually whrite a story line and characters.
seriously!?! this is horrible! it’s not the slightest bit creepy! this person didn’t even try to make it creepy! and it’s like what, 3 sentences?!?! and sleeping problems?! REALLY?!?! this story is crap!
I am honestly surprised it didn’t get a lower rating
Well that was the stupidest story ever
Ohhhh noooo im gonna get sleeping probs, so scary!!!!!
I’ve read better crappypastas
It’s not that bad. If I were shown my future, I would probably have problems sleeping after I had seen all those unavoidable sorrowful things that would happen to me in future. I would be like, “Oh my gosh, so this is going to happen to me.” I would be worried and depressed for the rest of my life, while waiting for the bad things to happen to me.
Why is this so low-rated? Gave me a fine chuckle.
Wow!!!! Best twelve seconds ever!!!!
Thats kinda wierd
wow! took me weeks to finsh this creepypasta!
I enjoy creepypastas that are scary, have a good backstory, and that make me not want to go to sleep.
11/10 Needs fan art.-IGN
its all lies i can’t believe non of them
Wow boring,
what if you have sleeping problems now? will you be cured?
If you watch the movie that shows ur whole life………how DO you sleep (and am I stupid for just realizing this?)
shut up dude
What if I buy a box of candy too?
if you are watching a movie of your future…and by watching it you will have sleeping problems, wouldn’t the movie just be the story of you with insomnia? Anyway I want Bruce Willis to play future me :)
oookay, and your point is?
a movie of my life….. my my ….. that’s cute
This author has no common sence you are watching yourself watch the movie :p
@imbehindyou OMFG YOUR A COUCH :o
Scared the living cheese and onion crisps out of me
like geez the author bro you have a sick mind
I LIKE THAT!!! ;D
And that kids is how you tell a lie
Sleeping problems, oh my God, how can it get any worse!
So…I guess we know who owns a small movie theatre that’s having problems with sales.
This story could only be worse if you threw in a mummy’s head. :P
These “watching yourself in real time” comments are better than the actual submission.
I understand now. Because… Because…
O.O That was genius.
This might be one of those posts where someone posts something terrible, and the explaining comments are actually better than the post so you can never know if the post is terrible or terrific.
I already has sleeping problems, so ya know..
How could my future cause me to never sleep, that’s the part I don’t get.
I was confused as to how this made it to Creepypasta, ’till I looked at the time it was uploaded.
2008.
Wow, that’s… an awfully long time. Plus, Crappypasta wasn’t ’round back then.
Telling me tuh say candle j is just like suicide!
I have seen the future; My life is a Chuck Norris movie…
this was bull.
it wasn’t even creepy!
this is the worst story I have ever read.
It could take me a minute to write this shit.
The first time I read this, I thought, “This deserves to be rated lower.”
The fourth time I read this, it clicked, and I thought, “This deserves to be rated higher!”
lol .. damn I bought a medium popcorn i was wondering why it didnt work
what was the p0int 0f this
Thoroughly dissapointed. 0/10 would not reread.
Maybe this is what Ralph Roberts did, but Stephen King decided not to put that bit in.
is this true because I would se it cuz I already have sleeping problems so it wouldn’t be a problem for me.
This pasta is the heart of cancer.
My life’s a movie. It’s directed by Peter Jackson lol
You call this a creepy pasta?
Sleeping problems. Absolutely terrifying.
Why isn’t this on crappypasta?
2/10
OMG, nooooo! sleeping problems! thats just too cruel
Woah. 0-0
And to think I just wanted to watch The Princess Bride on the big screen with two of my friends with a large popcorn in Phoenix, Arizona. T_T
Terrible soggy pasta here, no hope of salvaging it now. Not a lot of effort put into this, piss poor performance.
Do you not get it, child? If you watch the movie that shows your whole life, well then afterwards you’ll be dead. Hence the sleeping problems.
0_0 -_- O_0
FAPTASTIC
Ha! If you watch your future and know what’s going to happen, you can change… your… life….
If I went to that theatre I’d see me flapping for like 85% of the movie
Lol a 3 sentence movie
Know your future, but pay the price of insomnia.
Totally not worth it.
How did this crap get submitted I’m Batman?
BUT WHO IS FILM!?
S.a.l.t.s.
smiled a little then stopped
Ill give you a dollar to say my name
No.
im here… now play with me!
But I wasn’t born in ’87, and who are the extra tickets for?
Are you mocking me for having no friends? That’s just mean.
:P awesome
Go to sleep
I’m not tired, I’m Batman
I’m not tired, I’m Batman
why 1987?
Well here’s my question… If you sit in a movie theater, watching your future, wouldn’t it just be a movie about you sitting in a movie theater, since (a) you are watching the rest of your future, and (b) if you’re doing (a) wouldn’t that mean your future would be you watching you watching your future???!!!! This is madness!!!!
What’s all this talk of Candlejack? Come on guys we all know he’s not rea
meh ive seen better films
Seems legit.
My life is actually several movies. I kick ass in all of them.
Where is your God now?
anyone wanna go see my movie
:/ my life is more depressing then scary……….sad but true……
Wait…what????
Spam tastes good, why do people dislike it so much?
Holy shit
BUT WHO WAS SPOILER???
What if I pay for 2 tickets and sneak someone in (like my lil bro) in a window
Wow. So cliche. So boring. They never work if you just say If you…….Then you…….When you………. Just use I form.
k.
Does this mean the movie could come out with a novel?
Even a video game?
But further a do
Does this not mean that you would be watching yourself in a movie threater for the rest of your life? At a certain point?
My life is no movie…. Its the story of Jeff the Killer practically. Lol.
If it was a movie of your future, then it would be a movie of you watching the movie of you watching the movie, but each one is ever so slightly ahead of the previous one… O_o
I already sleep poorly. So if I watch said movie will my quality of sleep not change at all or improve?
What did i just read
BUT WHO WAS DIRECTOR?
but who was sleeping problems?!?!
1/10. Very short and i didnt really like it…
That would be one f*cked up movie…
You lying sumbitch!
STUPID!
yeah i spelled sense wrong
dont critisize my use of the fucking keybord
wow is everyone an idiot or am i just having common sens that you have sleeping problems because your wait for something from the movie to happen in your sleep
10/10 one of the greatest works in the history of creative writing
wow i wanna go there!!!!LMAO
Better love story than Twilight.
hell to the no ..
I’m pretty sure this is just an easter egg for Silent Hill
Fail…
Took me a sec.. haha good twist ending :P
u see ur life…u will die of drugs….. jump of building… MADE OWN FUTURE, NEWB XD
This sent shivers up my spine ohgod
Sleeping problems? How severe? If I’m curious enough to see me future, will I suffer from snoring, sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome?
If you watch through the whole movie, you watch through your liter life, so it would take your entire life
dun dun duuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnn…
(meant for clarification, not insulting or sardonicism)
:/
Meh. Pasta could have been so much better. The sleeping problems thing at the end really had nothing to do with the rest of it.
i read this to myself in the voice of rod sterling
This is an outrage; this pasta had real potential. I have read a very similar short story, however(in a book- not on this site), titled, "Alexander Watches a Play"
I might try it soon, I live 4 hours from pheonix and my family is planning to go shopping there in a few weeks.
Needs to be longer, needs much much much more detail and explanation, could do with an eyewitness account or two… so basically, needs a full rewrite and more. Way way too short.
I would most likely just do something like this:
‘Wow, I fucking suck as Nicholas cage.’ And leave. Thus initiating the future that would be playing in the theatre, because once they start a movie, they play it until the end. I could just go there whenever I had a hard decision in my life, figure out what I was gonna do, and walk on down to easy street, Nawmean?
LOL
Where’s my royalty check?!
As a resident of Phoenix I can tell you that downtown is too boring and full of homeless people to have a movie theater in it.
10/10 because I live in Phoenix. And there aren’t many theaters downtown that play films, let alone from a specific time frame.
Still, clever premise!
When does it come out on dvd, Blueray and Netfilx?
I WAS MOVIE!
i went there, and i saw a phone wringing……………WHO WAS SCREEN?
10/10. that was beautiful. i almost cried
THEN WHO WAS POPCORN???
(i had too DX)
Lols why would you pay sixty bucks to watch yourself watching yourself.
I live in Phoenix…
I ROFL’d.
Who would pay for 3 tickets and a large popcorn only to have sleeping problems in the future?
OMFG!!! I WAS BORN IN 1987 AND I LIVE IN PHOENIX!!! AAAAAHHHHHH! lmao!
OMFG!!! I WAS BORN IN 1987 AND I LIVE IN PHOENIX!!! AAAAAHHHHHH! lmao
but if the movie was about your future, then wouldn’t it take the rest of your life to watch?? eventually you’d just end up watching some guy watching the movies, watching you and whatever. space time is hard.
Just dont watch the credits, and then you wont have sleeping problems :D
Big loophole in this one: The movie shows you your future. If it starts at the near future, it will show you watching the movie. If you keep watching to see what happens, it\’s going to keep showing you watching the movie. A movie of you watching a moving of you watching a movie of you watching a movie. Talk about insanity.
Do we have to sit through through credits?
lol at losers who dont understand this.
BUT WHO WAS DIRECTOR?
Michael Bay I hope
it….
oh i get when he says youll have sleeping problems is because you will watch it for the rest of ur life
but i still sucks
Eh. I’ll just wait for the blu-ray to come out.
How dumb
i could right better than tan that LOL HAHA
So, wait a minute…
It’s my opinion that the movie would be slightly speeded up, with captions or something so that you won’t completely die. Then, in the movie, you go to a theater. You sit down. The movie starts again on the screen inside the movie. The same thing happens. Over and over and over.
LOL WTF
10/10
I’ll bet this film already has a porn version.
@ night light: ENTIRE filk COMPLETLE
if you look away once then you wont have sleeping problems cause you didnt see a certain scene
@Mr.Welldone:
Dont give away our location, I dont want a bussiness rush just after the holidays
@people saying it will see you sitting: ITS THE FUTER
@the sleeping problems:
I dont sleep anyway
all in all this story was too short, also it seems more like a ritual, “buy 3 tickets and a large popcorn” also
if i bring two friends wont it be a movie about all the times we are together?
Yeah, alright.
So if you’re watching a movie that’s supposedly going to show your entire life, won’t you just be spending your entire life watching a movie of you watching a movie?
Unless you were stuck in some time loop thing.
And the worst thing that’ll happen is “you will have sleeping problems for the rest of your life”?
How ’bout “you will have wasted your life watching what you could have lived”?
Or “you will be unable to change your fate or the fate of your loved ones”?
Okay pasta is okay, I guess.
So it only plays films from 1987.
I was born in 1989.
So a film of my future was made 2 years before I was born.
There’s only one explanation.
I am a time lord.
WITH HASTE, ROSE.
ALLONS-Y
seemed more like a joke pasta
I thought it was great, “Alright” if you will.
THEN WHO WAS POPCORN?!
BUT WHO WAS POPCORN?!?!?!?! also I live in phoenix and all the theaters ar like that…..:P
THEN WHO WAS MOVIE?
Oh, wait… I guess I was movie… carry on then
My life would be one giant porno.
Welldone, location, NOW. Give it to us! I have an aunt in Phoenix that I want to get revenge on for kicking me out of the house at my OWN party a few years back. This seems like the perfect way.
*evil laugh*
LMAO
I was born in 1987!
(Also, if I watch a movie that shows my remaining life in its entirety, then I will be dead by the time I finish watching. Unless they cut the boring bits.)
I’ll stick to tarot cards thanks, but nice pasta.
I’d bring two friends with me. There’s no way in hell I’m buying 3 tickets and not using 2.
I can take naps, and they can tell me what I miss.
I didn’t understand the point of the story until I was halfway through reading the comments. >_>
I’m neutral on good/bad. Its just…meh.
Don’t worry about me watching the whole thing and then getting “sleeping problems.”
My life is so boring I would leave in five minutes.
Just live your life kids, just live your life.
So I’m paying $40 to watch myself sit in a movie theater for the rest of my life?
I can’t get the part about speel problems, though. I certainly think that would put anyone to sleep.
And saying ‘Entire film completely’ is redundant
The last line sounds like a fortune cookie
Haha, at first, I thought that when it said it’ll show your future, I thought that I would be watching myself making children with someone, then I thought i’d be watching porn XDD
Buuut, im slow and i just got the real meaing of the story.
the reason youll have sleeping problems if you watc hthe whole thing is becuase if your old it will take a long time to watch you whole life and you wont be sleeping if your watching your whole life…..duhhhhh
$30 for tickets and another $30 for popcorn just to watch a boring movie about nothing?
And to number 42.
I did! I’m a creepy stalker. >:)
I just got it!
“You will have sleeping problems the rest of your life!”
Because you won’t sleep… Because you’re watching your life. I’m tripping myself out.
Sleeping problems!
OH NOES!!
LOL.
I think this one’s just silly.
Finally got it, but it tries too hard I feel. So it is a meh pasta.
The sleeping problems thing isn’t necessarily true. Since it shows every second of your life, then you could sleep when your past-self slept.
I have a better question though… Who filmed the entire thing?
I wanna know too
and you would also be watching yourself sitting in the seat >_>;
Yeah right, you just want my money >.>
I went, but my childhood was so damn boring that I sneaked out and saw the double feature of Robocop and Evil Dead II instead. The only sleeping problems I have are from regret that I didn’t see Ernest Goes to Camp on the big screen.
Makes me think- why would I want to do that?
Comments made my day. I ended up laughin my head off reading the comments. Thanks, guys xD
Hmm, you think they have a DVD version of my life?
I already have sleeping problems so SUCK ON THAT!!
Dea I was thinking the same thing. All you’ll be watching is yourself in a movie theater watching yourself in a movie theater watching your self in a movie theater and so on,it’ll go on and on till you die
@ FCF: Ha, no problem, I like writing pastas. Maybe one day I’ll get one on here :D
And now I understand the original point of this pasta thanks to Sara. This one was vague, but after consideration not too bad.
@ Keisyl: thanks for the pasta. that one was really good :)
at first i thought that the fact that only 1987 movies are shown had smth to do with the whole future thing, but i cant make sense out of it. if its just part of the description of the place, it shouldnt be there cuz its really confusing><. aaaand sleeping problems cuz u saw ur future? bleh.
…But if you’re watching the movie and it takes an entire lifetime to watch, then wouldn’t the movie be nothing but you sitting in a movie theatre? That sounds like it’d put anyone to sleep.
@ moomoon
wow i never thought of that, that is very true
eeeh. could have been better.. although it’s still kinda interesting.
watching the film would take a life time so you would die in the seat =_=
i think it could of been scarier
Not bad, but pretty vague and very very short. Had a lot of potential.
The point is if you watch the whole film, you’ll spend the rest of your life doing so. The movie is your lifetime long. You won’t sleep BECAUSE you’re watching it.
OMAGOD now i get it but wow thats more funny well then
Due to the contradictions and other issues a lot of comments have noted, I almost want to say the author intended for this to be a joke.
No, the twist is that the movie only shows what’s happening 3 seconds in the theatre in real time. Like your movie self takes a swig of soda 3 seconds before you do. Then that raises another question: If your movie self gets up to leave, and yet you don’t, what would happen? Would the screen go black and say “Go away a-hole”?
Hahaha I lol’d :D
I think I’d have a little bit more to worry about than sleeping problems if my future could be fit into the time it takes to show a movie.
Wait…I wasn’t alive in 1987…
OH SHI-
I just blew my hard-earned cash on 3 tickets and a bucket of stale popcorn.
To watch a blank screen.
Two. Thumbs. Down.
cONFUSED
His comment actually got two thumb downs.
wut.
This pasta was sucky
Well, of COURSE you’d have sleeping problems. You just sat through a film a few decades in length. That has got to be a SERIOUS case of sleep deprivation.
Unless it’s only a highlight reel.
In which case, it’s more of a teaser of your life than a movie per-se, innit?
Wonder what the trailer looks like.
A laundromat, focused on a spinning clothesdryer…
Then, cut to title:
“Your Life”
Fade out, then fade in to:
“Get one soon”
Sadly this is the story of my live :(
Sadly this is the story of my life :(
I like Keisyl’s version better.
I shat myself!
I did this. Only instead of me, it was Nicholous Cage. And it wasn’t my future, it was Nick using his psychic powers to save San Fransisco from a Nuclear device. Good movie though.
if i watch the ENTIRE film COMPLETELY…
mmmm, interesting…not really =\
That’ll be one shortass movie because I plan to die when I turn 25… after a tragic car accident.
Hello.
This is clever in ways many are not giving enough credit for.
Still, the imagination is not effectively stimulated to create the deeper levels of fear.
Regardless, such a theatre does indeed exist.
Sleeping problems? That’s it?
Needs a rewrite.
I can already see my future.Cancer at 30.That large popcorns not going to help.lol
It would totally be better that way.
So. Now is when we cross paths…
Dunno if my last post showed, so if I double, I’m sorry =\
I think this pasta would be better if it were something like this:
—
There’s a movie theater in downtown Phoenix, Arizona that only plays movies from 1987. If you pay for 3 tickets and buy a large popcorn, they will play a film that shows you your future, starting from when you sit down. You will see your life getting worse and worse, all because of one tiny, small decision you made, totally unaware that it would affect you like that, that things could get that bad from a single choice.
In the last scene you see yourself, grinning with a bleeding mouth, your descent into insanity obvious. You croak out five words before shooting yourself, blood and gore splattering the screen.
“That film started it all…”
—
That’s just my thoughts, though. :P
that would be like so creepy like ahhhh! i just sealed my doom!
This pasta wasn’t that creepy.
More marinara, perhaps?
I think this pasta would be better if it were something like this:
—
There’s a movie theater in downtown Phoenix, Arizona that only plays movies from 1987. If you pay for 3 tickets and buy a large popcorn, they will play a film that shows you your future, starting from when you sit down. You will see your life getting worse and worse, all because of one tiny, small decision you made, totally unaware that it would affect you like that, that things could get that bad from a single choice.
In the last scene you see yourself, grinning with a bleeding mouth, your descent into insanity obvious. You croak out five words before shooting yourself, blood and gore splattering the screen.
“That film started it all…”
—
That’s just my thoughts, though. :P
good ending!
Yeah, I like that ending better(the one that keisyl put up)
Then again, there’s nothing like a bad pasta to take the fear factor out of the scarier pastas, like whats-his-name.
I love pastas like that. U should post one. :)
Took me a second to get that last sentence.
Very clever. xD
What! O_o
Haha, good one xD I guess if they play a film that shows you your future, but then you stay there to watch the whole film, there’d be a time when you’re just watching yourself watch the film of you watching a film until you DIE! (Yo, Dawg!)
Well, I found creepy that I was born on 1987 though o_O So either it was a coincidence the author picked that year at random or maybe he/she is the same age as me xD
…this is just a little pathetic :|
Yes it is. Waste of time.
Ikr. Because In 12 Seconds I Could’ve Built A House. Smh.
the comments are more interesting
I agree.
Too vague to really be unsettling.
But…I already have sleeping problems D:
Anybody who goes on this website has sleeping problems and people will only find out about this by going on this website
to true to true
soooooo true!
ITS PHONE!!!
But, WHO WAS PHONE?!
i was phone… i was phone
I was a diary.
I let the dogs out.
ikr
I did it for you<3
I like just cause his/ her name
Its called internet
But my life isn’t a movie. It’s clearly a Neil Gaiman novel. :p
Yay! A Neil Gaiman fan! FINALLY! He’s one of those amazing writers that no one knows about. But I like it that way. It…makes it like a secret. That only us awesome people know about. Plus, it makes it more exciting when you find someone who also knows who Neil is. :D *high five*
Er. seriously? Neil Gaiman hasn’t been a secret in quite some time. Or do you not remember a little film called "Coraline?" He’s pretty well-known even outside of geek circles.
Geek wannabe hipsters are annoying.
I was born this way.
wait a sec i like him to wow nevr knew any one gave a crap about him yahhhhh
I think its trying to communicate…. What should we do
Burn it with fire?
Um I know his language!
Ill give it a shot!
yeah.. know yeah off you should.. get batter grammar!
Rule Number 1: Have *better grammar before insulting somebody. Didn’t you check the evil handbook, son?
I love Neil Gaiman too! :D But I agree, he’s pretty well known.
I lol’d.
im here bitches say my name
Candle j-a-c-k , now come and take me with yer candy bag, I’ll slowly slice your throat with a kitchen knife while you sleep.
I like your style, but I prefer Avadra Kedavra.
Come on guys. we all know that Candlejack has no buisness being her
You spelled “CandleJack” wron
You spelt wrong wrong.
Trololololol. c:
You spelled spelled wrong
You spelled “wrong” wrong
You spelled “Grammar” wrong.
Oh, and why can’t Candlejack spell his own n
NEVER.
It’s obviously known you have no idea what grammar is
Gimme a reason hmm hmm hmm whats that? Oh yeah there isnt one. You aint gonna kill ME in my sleep.
Candeljack.
Hey, Candeljack.
Candlejack aha do somthing oh wait you cant do anythin
>.<
candel jack? Were you high when you chose your name? OB-viously Voldemort is a MUCH better name then CandelJack. Pffft.
BUT WHO WAS LARGE POPCORN???
i just want my babyback,babyback,babyback, riiiiiiiiiiibs