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Estimated reading time โ€” < 1 minute

You crawl into bed at around nine. Funny, that’s a little early for you, but you don’t seem to care. You toss and turn for a few minutes, before you feel it. Somebody’s watching you, you’re sure of it. You scan the room, finding nothing, but you still feel uneasy.

You lay back down, facing the room. You shut your eyes and try to sleep, but you can’t. You still feel the eyes on you, watching you.

You pull the covers over your head, and the feeling fades. You relax and close your eyes, but as soon as they shut, the feeling returns. You’re scared to move the covers, to search for the eyes that you know are watching you.

You’re terrified, but you yank the covers down, and as you do your heart skips a beat. You scan the room, seeing absolutely nothing yet again.

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The feeling disappears, and you scold yourself for acting like such a child. You roll over toward the wall and quickly fall into a peaceful sleep.


But let me ask you this: Do you know how many hiding places there are in your room?


I do. Thousands.

Credit To – Abigail Druitt

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31 thoughts on “Thousands”

  1. I really don’t like pastas that tell me how I’m feeling. I get the concept, that OP is trying to make the reader feel as though it’s actually happening, but it takes away from the creepy factor when the pasta writes things I would never say or do.

    For example, “Funny, that’s a bit early for you but you don’t seem to care.”
    That line in particular didn’t sit well with me, perhaps because of the phrase “you don’t SEEM to care” as if you don’t know if you care or not. OP is writing “you” but also writing as if someone else is observing. Maybe that’s the point, because of the ending. But then, an outside narrator wouldn’t know that the feeling of being watched faded when “I” opened “my” eyes.

    Because of this, it definitely doesn’t make me need to check under the bed, and there aren’t very many hiding places for anything bigger than a mouse. Not scary.

  2. I would have liked this quite a bit more had the last line simply been “I do.” Would have felt more ominous to me. Good story, regardless.

    1. Nicola Marie Jackson

      I was just about to say that myself! Unlikely to be thousands unless the person in the story is the queen xxx

  3. amazing concept.

    the way they incorporated the single adjective to the ending of their story, is masterful.

  4. I must say, I was expecting the usual cliche “watching you sleep” story but that last sentence changed everything. See, that’s the hallmark of a good story, taking in an overly done idea and giving it a fresh new look. Pretty sweet micropasta, keep ’em coming!

  5. Thanks guys! I might write some more, as I really enjoyed writing this one. This one was only my first, so it’s certainly not the best, but I’m glad you guys liked it.

  6. I thought this was a pretty solid piece. I’m fond of micro pastas. Short. Sweet. And right to the scare. That being said, it didn’t really do much to scare me. I loved the attempt to write in the 2nd person… That is a hard one to pull of but you did it well.

  7. Is this a second person story by a spider or a germ? Spooky to be watched, but not so much if it’s something that finds thousands of hiding spots in a bedroom. If it’s a malicious being, so what, it’s tiny.

  8. Oh please, whose watching me? The little people? Fairies? Lol if it was a demon or ghost space doesn’t matter.

  9. Gogo Neverstop

    I’d give this a 7/10.
    I really liked the idea of the pasta, but you should’ve expanded on it more. I understand it is a Micropasta, but you could at least give some background information.
    I liked the perspective you used to write this, though: 2nd person. It’s very difficult to write in 2nd person, but you did well.
    Good job, and I’d enjoy to read more pastas made by you.

  10. UnforgivingCritic

    This is a great piece, could use a little polishing, but very very excellent.

    Hope to see more of you Abigail.

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