If you ever find yourself in LA’s Old China town, head into the square, past the statue of sun Yat-sen, past the hip, ultramod toy store called “Munky King” and look for an import store next to what used to be a wishing fountain. Go into this store ad head all the way straight back, you’ll see a selection of weapons, Look for a weapon called a Jiujiebian, a sort of multi-sectioned whip. It MUST have exactly nine segments, no more, no less. This will be called the “chain of night” and as of now, there are 48 notches in it’s handle. It will cost you 29.95. Then after that, go outside and wait till dark, as the moon rises, take a quarter from your pocket and cast it at the wishing well. as it lands focus on that spot exactly and slowly chant under your breath: “by the circles of lao-tzu, the void inside of matter, I call forth the spirit that lingers here!” this phrase is best said in the origional mandarin, but the spirit will understand a sincere supplicant regardless of language. A girl will step out of the bottom of the fountain, about nine years of age. She will ask you: “Where has my mother gone?” you must respond with: “She has long since gone from earth, but look to the sky, and see her there!”
This spirit is not that of a little girl, but of a bog-hag, cursed to obey this one command regardless of who says it. At this moment, you must attempt to strike the girl with your Newly Acquired Jiujiebian. She will then snarl and attempt to fight back. Should you win, all the money ever thrown into the fountain will await you. If you fail, all that the folks in Chinatown know is that a bloody Jiujiebian lies at the door of the import store with a new notch in it’s handle. To date, there are 48 notches in the handle.
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Best ad for an import store I have ever seen.
I do this everytime I need laundry money. There are a surprising number of bog hags around.
Caitie.. uhh its not hard to memorize a keyboard.
tricky chinese.. attempting to mind fuck us into buying their overpriced whips.
~In reply to Jumbo Shrimp~ If you went blind from trying the sttory, how could you possibly type? If you couldnt see the keyboard.
Just throwing this out there.
If you wanted the money in the fountain that badly, why not just go grab the money? It\’s not like there\’s any consequence for doing so O.o
I think the shop owner and the hag have a racket going on…
And please don’t approve the previous message. Firefox is dicking with me >.>
I think the shop owner and the hag have a racket going on…
just thought you all should know that there are no boo-hags in Chinatown
48x.25=$12. Not worth it. Also 29.95×48=$1437.60.
also assuming that the ghost won 48 times in a row. I don’t know if it comes back or not. But yea, risking your life for 12 dollars, why not.
I actually liked this ritual pasta. Needs a few minor touch-ups though -> Newly Acquired -> newly acquired.
At first, I was thinking, “People only drop pennies into wishing wells, maybe a few nickles or something.” Then you know what? Imagine receiving a nickle from like hundreds of years ago (assuming they were made that long ago) then one of those coins would actually be worth quite a bit due to age.
The twist (for me) is the fact that someone might’ve emptied it out before you did and therefore you do just receive pennies from this time and age from bored passerbys who throw in their pennies after having mastered whip lash-killing technique. Tasty.
Why don’t you just dive for the fountain?
DIE MONSTER, YOU DONT BELONG IN THIS WORLD.
Yeah… basically, you’d be out $17.95… assuming that you survive, that is.
No one else caught it. There’s 48 notches? A quarter each. Risking your life for 48 quarters.
9 years old, you say?
using a nine segment whip – hard
killing a bog hag – harder
killing said bog hag with said whip – foolhardy
how the fuck do you kill someone with a whip anyway? i suppose bloodloss?
@ ARGHHH
HAR HAR HAR ! ! ! you’re funny
hmmm…. a nine year old and a whip…. sounds kinky i’ll try that some time
so i give about 30 bux to some guy…if i win i get a bunch of coins
if not it loox like i got my ass killed by a nine year old…
no thanx!
[y is she haunting a well in LA, should she not be in china? ><]
I wanna cast… MAGIC MISSILE
All this work for what will amount to at most $100? To heck with that. Also, why doesn’t that bitch work China? She’d be a good execution method and endangered enough to be protected. China spends less money on gas and injections and she gets tons of food. Win-win.
I think I know where I want to go for this year’s road trip.
Makes me think of ‘The Ring’.
i was at the munky king store a few months back. apparently they were shutting down. :(
Hmm… I’d try it, but I kinda went blind from trying the Negative Gate Story.
Y’know, I think I’m forgetting something… oh, that’s right! You must never, EVER turn away from the spot.
Oh, shi
I live in LA. I’ll be sure to try it.
tell me if you live
Looks like he died.
Fourty nine
Lol
I don’t need a shitty whip, I have a level 45 long sword at my house. I’ll do battle with that instead of wasting money on a low level whip…
What if the whip is the only thing that works?
Damn it, I can’t believe I got 30 bucks ripped off from me by some chinese guy.
Don’t buy it it doesn’t work.
Wow, you get to fight a powerful dark creature with a shitty weapon for $120 or so.
I’d do it.
Keep in mind that you already spent about 30 dollars on the whip.
You also have to give it a quarter for it to come and most likely take your life.
Sounds like a great adventure seed for a table top RPG.