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The Well

Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

If you ever find yourself in LA’s Old China town, head into the square, past the statue of sun Yat-sen, past the hip, ultramod toy store called “Munky King” and look for an import store next to what used to be a wishing fountain. Go into this store ad head all the way straight back, you’ll see a selection of weapons, Look for a weapon called a Jiujiebian, a sort of multi-sectioned whip. It MUST have exactly nine segments, no more, no less. This will be called the “chain of night” and as of now, there are 48 notches in it’s handle. It will cost you 29.95. Then after that, go outside and wait till dark, as the moon rises, take a quarter from your pocket and cast it at the wishing well. as it lands focus on that spot exactly and slowly chant under your breath: “by the circles of lao-tzu, the void inside of matter, I call forth the spirit that lingers here!” this phrase is best said in the origional mandarin, but the spirit will understand a sincere supplicant regardless of language. A girl will step out of the bottom of the fountain, about nine years of age. She will ask you: “Where has my mother gone?” you must respond with: “She has long since gone from earth, but look to the sky, and see her there!”

This spirit is not that of a little girl, but of a bog-hag, cursed to obey this one command regardless of who says it. At this moment, you must attempt to strike the girl with your Newly Acquired Jiujiebian. She will then snarl and attempt to fight back. Should you win, all the money ever thrown into the fountain will await you. If you fail, all that the folks in Chinatown know is that a bloody Jiujiebian lies at the door of the import store with a new notch in it’s handle. To date, there are 48 notches in the handle.

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39 thoughts on “The Well”

  1. ~In reply to Jumbo Shrimp~ If you went blind from trying the sttory, how could you possibly type? If you couldnt see the keyboard.

  2. Just throwing this out there.

    If you wanted the money in the fountain that badly, why not just go grab the money? It\’s not like there\’s any consequence for doing so O.o

  3. I think the shop owner and the hag have a racket going on…

    And please don’t approve the previous message. Firefox is dicking with me >.>

  4. also assuming that the ghost won 48 times in a row. I don’t know if it comes back or not. But yea, risking your life for 12 dollars, why not.

  5. I actually liked this ritual pasta. Needs a few minor touch-ups though -> Newly Acquired -> newly acquired.

    At first, I was thinking, “People only drop pennies into wishing wells, maybe a few nickles or something.” Then you know what? Imagine receiving a nickle from like hundreds of years ago (assuming they were made that long ago) then one of those coins would actually be worth quite a bit due to age.

    The twist (for me) is the fact that someone might’ve emptied it out before you did and therefore you do just receive pennies from this time and age from bored passerbys who throw in their pennies after having mastered whip lash-killing technique. Tasty.

  6. using a nine segment whip – hard
    killing a bog hag – harder
    killing said bog hag with said whip – foolhardy

    how the fuck do you kill someone with a whip anyway? i suppose bloodloss?

  7. so i give about 30 bux to some guy…if i win i get a bunch of coins

    if not it loox like i got my ass killed by a nine year old…

    no thanx!

    [y is she haunting a well in LA, should she not be in china? ><]

  8. All this work for what will amount to at most $100? To heck with that. Also, why doesn’t that bitch work China? She’d be a good execution method and endangered enough to be protected. China spends less money on gas and injections and she gets tons of food. Win-win.

  9. Hmm… I’d try it, but I kinda went blind from trying the Negative Gate Story.
    Y’know, I think I’m forgetting something… oh, that’s right! You must never, EVER turn away from the spot.
    Oh, shi

  10. I don’t need a shitty whip, I have a level 45 long sword at my house. I’ll do battle with that instead of wasting money on a low level whip…

  11. Damn it, I can’t believe I got 30 bucks ripped off from me by some chinese guy.

    Don’t buy it it doesn’t work.

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