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The Van Ness Asylum

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Estimated reading time — 10 minutes

Being a devout fan of Creepypasta’s true story section, I felt compelled to share my story with other users. While it is nice to provide all of you with a chilling, and entertaining story, keep in mind I have a much greater goal in mind.

Before my experience two days ago (May 3rd and 4th, 2013) I was a very skeptical person; not just in the paranormal, but in all areas of life. Should something not be able to be factually proven, it was simply not true. While I was always interested in death, the paranormal, and ‘spooking’ myself in general, I had always been a hard-headed person who never believed that there was any truth to it all. I simply wrote things off as, “an interesting story” and never genuinely believed that in anything, “unexplained”. Following my experiences however, I’ve come to terms with the fact that just because things do not follow our illusion of reason, does not mean that those things aren’t actually valid.

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As I had stated before, I have a greater goal in mind higher than simply entertaining my fellow Creepypasta members. Contrary to my previous belief, there are things in life that cannot be explained. Like the beginning of the universe, and life itself. We can trace things back in theory, 13.7 billion years ago with the Big Bang; but the further into it you go, the more questions arise. “And what before that, and before that?” Great wars have been fought over the topic ever since the beginning of man itself. We are all fighting and scrambling to answer the unexplainable origin of the beginning of the universe. Why? Simply put, we are very intrigued about a topic that is so complex, and abstract, that it could never be explained.

This is why the Creepypasta stories, true or false, are captivating. We all want to feed our hunger with a glimpse into the irrational world of the paranormal and incomprehensible. My goal above all is to show my peers that you must keep an open mind, and simply give into the inevitable truth that some things in life cannot be explained.

I apologize for the long prefix, but I felt it was an absolutely necessary one. Here are my experiences of May 3rd and 4th.

Seeing as how it was a Friday on May 3rd, I was very glad to be on a small but much appreciated break from work and school. Naturally, I did the old teenager cliché of spending the night at a friend’s house. As usual, I indulged in playing video games, and criticizing old classic movies with my good buddy, Cris. We were a couple of film buffs who loved share impressions of actors, and poke fun at poorly done special effects, etc. The night was honestly going great in true weekend fashion. My friend and I had just come to the realization that he could do a pretty good Nicolas Cage impression, so we spent a large part of that night laughing and talking like him at random points in our hangout.

When I had attempted to follow in and give the impression a try, he shot me down and ridiculed me for doing a bad job. I shrugged, and tried to laugh it off but he continued to pursuit berating me. Eventually, I grew tired of his negative criticism, and we had a small argument. It was no big shouting match or anything, we were used to this sort of thing because we made fun of each other on such a regular basis, it was only natural to have a small little fight now and then. We always got over it within a day or two. I felt the best course was to gather my things and ride my bike home so we could both cool off a little.

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I was a little reluctant to bike home because it was really late already. I was no stranger to riding home in the dark, it was actually sort of routine because I got around a lot. It seemed I was always riding home in the late hours from someone’s house. This time was different however because it was now 1:24 AM (May 4th now). I had only ever ride my bike out past midnight only once or twice before for an absolute emergency. I refrained from riding when it was very late because I always had a fear of gangs and other not-so-great characters who tended to be out at that time of night.

Clouded of my better judgment by pride and anger though, I put on my backpack, hopped on my bike, and started off. I recall the cool summer breeze that I had felt as soon as I began to ride home. It was very therapeutic to feel the wind relieving me of my stresses. I was now confident that I had made the right call to leave my friend’s house, rather than stay there and wait in awkward silence until we both went to sleep. I continued to ride home for another ten minutes. At this point I was at a crossroads. Do I ride down Van Ness? Or turn, and head towards the main road, where the prostitutes and gangsters usually hung out?

I continued to go straight and head down Van Ness. Although this seemed like a no-brainer, it took some thinking, and a fair amount of guts. Van Ness was a very tranquil street. It was filled with tall pine trees, little traffic, and certainly no shady characters like Blackstone. It was the quintessential biking trail for the town during the day; a bikers paradise. At night however, it was much different. Van Ness was a bit off a historic part of town, so it did not have street lights. There were so many trees, that even the moonlight could not sneak through to illuminate the street. Me and my friends frequently joked that this was the darkest street in the world. Aside from being very dark it was also very quiet, even the sound of crickets would be relieving because you would know that you were not completely alone.

I had been riding on the street for a while now, and only had about three-quarters of a mile remaining until I was on my street. I had gotten kind of used to the street and was no longer nervous about the ‘spookiness’ of the street. The solitude was actually quite refreshing.

During the day, I frequently rode down Van Ness, as I had mentioned it was a ‘Mecca” for bike riders. I was very familiar with all of the buildings and fields on the stretch of road. So, when I saw an unfamiliar building, it stuck out like a sore thumb. At the end of a long, dry field stood a tall menacing, mansion of a home. Like straight out of a classic horror movie. I could totally imagine a thunderstorm in the background adding to the horrifying look of it. I stopped pedaling, and slowly passed the building by. The curiosity of the building began to burn a hole in my head. I knew that if I did not stop and analyze the building, I would lose sleep wondering at what I had missed.

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I turned around and dismounted my bike, and stared at the building in awe. On the front of the building was a green text, the same green that was used on this historic part of town in Van Ness. I was nearsighted, which meant that I need to wear my prescription glasses to see far away. I reached in my pocket and realized that I had left my glasses at Cris’ house in my hurry. I decided that I would have to get a closer look if I wanted to read what it said. I was way too enthused to simply call it a night on that note. I had to at least read what it said.

I stepped onto the crunchy dry field and proceeded to walk towards the building. My imagination was running wild, thinking of what on earth this sign would read. My mind is drawing blanks now as to what I thought it could have said. Finally I got close enough to make out the words. “Van Ness Asylum” Under that what smaller subtext that I could not yet read. I did not know if I should continue to walk towards it, and run like hell out of there. Once again, I figured, I have to at least read it. I walked a little closer and read the smaller text,” 978 N. Van Ness”. I was so puzzled. I was so sure that had I seen this terrifying building before, I definitely would have looked inside of it, and at the very least remembered that it was there. It’s not very often you see an asylum you now.

Second, why would there be an asylum in the middle of all of these nice homes in the first place. All of the homes surrounding, and the asylum itself looked to be built around the same time period. The homeowners would have gone mad had they known a looney-bin was built right next door. The asylum was obviously abandoned as shown by the broken windows and poor upkeep. So at the very least, why wouldn’t the neighborhood have at least petitioned to have the building torn down in recent years?

None of this was adding up. I decided I should call someone and at least get their opinion. Should I go in? Then the grim reality reminded me that it was now about 2 AM. All of family and friends were asleep. Maybe not Cris, but he was mad at me. I contemplated going in, and paced back and forth at the idea.

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My entire life, I had been kind of a play-it-safe type guy; afraid to branch out and try new things. In the past two years, I had tried to embrace the spontaneous life and tried to learn to say yes. I had to be absolutely nuts to go into an abandoned asylum on a dark street at two in the morning, by myself mind you. “But imagine what you’d find?” I recalled watching YouTube videos of people who would break into condemned asylums and see what they found. The idea fascinated me, but at the same time, I didn’t think I had it in me. “I couldn’t possibly, could I?”

Once again, clouded by my better judgment; this time by intense curiosity and the drive to take a chance and explore, I proceeded to look for an opening into the building. I circled the building and gave reasons like, “That hole is too small…” or “I’d rip my shirt there…” soon I realized I was making sorry excuses to delay the exploration. I psyched myself up, and crammed myself through broken window.

I saw no signs of graffiti, old soda cans, or cigarettes that would imply that anyone has been in here since it was boarded up and deserted. That scared me. If someone had been in here before, I would have at least known that they whatever dangers may be in here, someone had encountered before me. I had a very annoying habit of scaring myself when having a clear, non-timid mindset was very important. I had a flashlight that I attached to my bike that I used to navigate the dark, cold building. Because this was virgin ground since the boarding up, the inside of the asylum was very well preserved. The white, flawless tile flooring still looked very sterile.

Trust me when I say, neatness was much more scary than if the place was a wreck. It was very freaky. Papers were scattered about from when they were extracting files and sensitive patient information, but other than the papers, the place was pristine. Spotless, no mirrors broken, no cracked porcelain toilets, no piss and excrement all over the walls like you would expect.

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Next, I focused on paying attention to where I was and where I was headed. Where were the patient’s bunks, where were the operating rooms, and where was the morgue? It seems I was in the admissions area, where you would be checked in and out. I walked down a narrow hallway and found a cluster of operating rooms. Complete with the anti-septic metal tables, stripped of all warm, comfortable sheets and pillows. I didn’t find any scalpels, or bone-saws. I presume they removed those for health concerns. I scavenged through drawers and found surgical tubing, respirator masks, and sterile gloves, still sealed in the boxes. It was so odd to see that aside from the scattered papers, and no chairs, or furnishings, the place still contained a lot of things necessary to keeping an operational medical facility.

I continued through the asylum and found that the pattern on the floor had changed, the tiles were a different color, almost like a yellow brown, and the tiles were smaller. I noticed that every few feet there were drains on the floor. I looked up and around and saw lockers where I assumed scrubs and other gear was stored. I put it all together, and made the conclusion that I was in the morgue. The drains had been strategically placed to allow for the draining of blood on the floor. A truly haunting thought.

My whole time in there, I heard a few creaks, and whatnot but just blamed them on my stepping, and the age of the building. I had been in there about six minutes when finally I heard something that absolutely made my stomach drop. The only thing that I could assign the sound to was a drawer of a morgue refrigerator slamming shut. (The large lockers where the dead are stored before burial) I did not explode and bolt out of there. I knew that if I had done that, I would have gotten scared that something was right behind me chasing me. I tried to keep calm and walk out of that place without panic, but in the back of my mind, I knew that I had never been so scared in my life. After an eternity it seemed I jumped out of the window and landed back on the porch of the Van Ness Asylum. I ran through the field and got on my bike and rode home. It’s not like my endeavor was over, I still had to ride nearly a mile home in anguishing fear on the dark deserted streets of Van Ness.

Soon, I was home safe and sound. I was so shaken up I didn’t think that I could return to living a normal life again. Falling asleep that night was very hard. I pushed through it, and the next day I felt a lot better.

Now, I suppose I could have sullied the story by making up some bullshit about how I saw a figure, or something touched me, or there was blood all over the walls. I know that some people would prefer to have some truly horrifying experience to make this long story all worth it, but I wanted to stay true to heart, and not spoil a true, and scary story. Need not worry however, the story is not over there.’ Here is the paranormal, truly unexplainable part:’

I called up my friend Cris and it seemed the both of us were done being mad, I told him about what had happened, and told him I’d meet him at his house in about an hour. I rode to his house and was there in about 40 minutes. I was very excited to tell him about it in person.

He was so amazed, that he decided he wanted to go and look at the asylum for himself. He also rode down Van Ness at least twice a year and did not recall seeing an asylum, night or daytime. I was very much still traumatized by last night, but I really wanted to show off the fact that I had gone into that scary fucking house all by myself. We decided we’d both take a bike ride down Van Ness to see the building.
When we arrived there at about 3 PM, thirty minutes later, we had some trouble finding the house. I recalled the length and shape of the field of the asylum, and I saw a field that matched it, but saw no menacing asylum on top of it. This didn’t make sense, it didn’t add up, just like the asylum being there in the first place. I didn’t understand. But as I stated earlier, there are just some things in life you cannot explain.

Credit To – Frankieseshy

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Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.

118 thoughts on “The Van Ness Asylum”

  1. Thanks for sharing! I liked that you didn’t add any figures, ghastly drops in temperature, et al. A truly creepy story. Nom nom nom

  2. I know fresno, and haven’t seen that asylum….. theres one on clovis ave, but keep in mind that there is sooo much wrong with the house that no one will come in to save you if something happens, like its just old and breaking down from years of no care and restoration. The city tried pulling permits to have it demolished, but someone bought it to save it. I’ll never go in, too scared and theres a fence up, but everyone says there were murders there or other crazy stuff….. if you ever check it out PLEASE share your findings, but STAY SAFE!!!!

  3. TheReaderDownUnder

    I really enjoyed this story. It feels believable, unlike most “true” creepypastas I’ve seen. You kept a basis and stuck with it. Wish some things were changed though, like the ending. Overall, I don’t know if this really happened, but I enjoyed your story. Thanks for sharing.

    8/10

  4. A story doesn’t have to have too much to be frightening, the fact that you heard the mysterious sound and the asylum was gone the next day was all it took to make a good story

  5. CreeperEatsPasta

    I like this pasta. A well written and executed story. Maybe, though, if you and your friend were to go in the early morning hours, say about one or two o’clock (The time you said you entered the first time), you might have encountered it again.
    I give this pasta an 8/10 rating.

  6. Hello, I’ve been to Fresno several times and been to Van Ness once. I should say it is a pretty creppy place at night. I enjoy your story!

  7. I like your prefix and your story was really awesome. Instill can’t believe you went in,
    you got balls.I think maybe me and my friends might go in a asylum to.

  8. Well , my mom & dad works at asylum, and i know how an asylum looks like. There are a surgery room (for those who have injuries) and morgue(if patient dies,they keep the body there until the relatives pick it up ) , so Jill -before you judge ,find out the truth.
    And also,i really liked this story.
    P.s. Sorry for writting mistakes, english is’t my language. I’m still learning.

  9. Poison Angelica

    Couple of things…
    1st – Fresno and hookers – made me chuckle. I’ve only been in Fresno once & what I remember about it most is the totally exhausted looking prostitute I saw standing outside a bar that looked like abandoned fall out shelter. Rough!
    2nd – I liked the story idea. Could have been really good. It’s an admirable early effort (you are only 17, right?). My advice is to read as much as you can. The more you read and the more authors and writing styles you encounter the better you will get. Stephen King said (loose quote here) “If you don’t read a lot, you’ll never write well”.
    Thanks for the scare.

  10. This story makes me want to find this creepy place! Which is good…means that it did its job. It may not be a literary extraordinaire but it was still a good story ;)

  11. The tear would start like a banana peeling with the skin as your skin and the inside fruit your skeleton

  12. why not checking it at the same time like how you found it exsample like it is at may 4 at near 2:00 A.M go there and see if it is there common sence

  13. Ti’s funny though, because when i read this i searched “van ness asylum” but there wasn’t anything about it, it was like it didn’t excist. So if your story is treu you may say you was in a haunted a’s hell asylum, or you had a nightmare…

  14. This is very good pasta. The Italians would be proud. The story was very creepy and he didnt over exaggerate like saying oh i saw his figure he had to have been a lunney locked up in this place. No he stay on a realistic state of the story and that is why i give this story 8/10. Good job frankiesehy

  15. Fresno Is the place to live if you want to get creeped out if not by ghost than you can get creeped out by our hookers cause theyre probably the worst

  16. Pasta Connoisseur

    Bragg:
    Don’t buy it in the least. You mean to tell me you didn’t have the balls to ride past some “prostitutes” and “gangsters” but you mustered up the courage to go into a building you had never seen before, which was an asylum?

    I’m not telling you not to write, but you and I both know this is not true. Anyone with the slightest bit of analytical skill can figure that out. Just write good stories man. They don’t have to be portrayed as true to be creepy. In fact, I’ve found the ones that are said to be “true” are some of the worst.

    Paranormal is all about imagination. Don’t limit yourself like this. Think and then write something that will truly chill the reader.

    I completely agree with the above, perhaps the first part of the the story was realistic, but the courage thing I don’t buy, also the disappearing building was a right buzz kill for me as that’s just no way believable.
    However, the idea of the story was good in essence, and if you had changes it leave the building remaining, i think it would have been more realistic. Ok pasta though :)
    was kinda creepy as I was reading this on may 4th but obviously 2014 hah

  17. english is cool:
    Quite simply, it was awful! Hand this into your English teacher at school, because judging by the writing techniques you’re like 13, and see if they say it’s amazing. It’s the writing itself that gets to me, the story itself would be pretty decent if it weren’t for your absolute lack in literary skills. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but everyone saying it’s well written with little errors are wrong, as the whole way through this story I had to force myself to go on due to errors in your writing. I may sound incredibly pathetic, but good literary skills are key to a good story, and without it your story is potentially something that could be scribbled down on the back of a napkin. I’m sure if you are to write more in the future, but I would hope that you would improve your skills, unless your first language isn’t English, and in that case kudos to you, as that would be well written for someone who was not brought up using the language. Sorry that it’s not a positive comment, but it’s constructive criticism and I’m sure you will improve in future!

    You obviously have the standards of a fucking ivy league college linguist because this was written extremely well and I wouldn’t be surprised to have read it out of a published book.

  18. Tbh, I don’t understand why some of you are telling him his grammar is wrong and that it’s fake because, keep in mind, you are reading something that’s from the internet on a website called creepy pasta

  19. ForeverMyMaster

    Jhe:
    I…I…I…I…I…I…I…I…I..My…I….I…I…I…Me.
    Only varying your pronouns every ten sentences makes it hard to digest pasta.
    Story was okay, but…meh.

    the lack of pronouns made this bad? LMFAO PLEASE TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS!

  20. ForeverMyMaster

    I think Pastas like this deserve to be rated higher than the stupid ones like Ben Drowned or Squidwards Suicide. They aren’t even scary, not to mention they play on your childhood memories. Ones like this, where it doesn’t matter if its true, it was a good read, and overall it was amazing and kept my interests. All these angry comments are seemingly baseless and inciting a flame war. One even basically said TL;DR lmfao I can’t…

  21. I liked the feel to the story, but it still seemed a bit 8ff to me. It felt a little bland to me, and I couldn’t really agree to the ending. The story gave me unsatisfying feeling in my gut. The character seemed much more matured even though incredibly curious, which was refreshing to see. I can’t exactly say too much on this story because to me it felt a bit simplistic. The story reminded me more of a light hearted memory one goes through, than a real creepy story. So all in all, I’d give it maybe a 5 or 6/10

  22. First off, let’s all take a moment to forget the haters banging on your grammar. Regardless of your age or story intent, this was a realistic, bone-chilling read. I am a grammar nazi but if I was looking for a flawless story I would go buy a novel, not hit up some public forums website. I greatly appreciated this pasta and found it more spooky than most DUE TO THE REALISM as opposed to the people who, “see figures in dark suits that eventually chase them and attack them,” no. This story took a full grasp on the idea of imagery to really capture the reader. What’s creepier than that? Breaking into an asylum and hearing strange noises is completely realistic! The shock factor was when the asylum disappeared! These rude people that don’t comprehend modern literature (though I do enjoy classics) are criticizing you for the sake of criticizing. Bravo, continue writing, fellow pasta.

  23. The story is a bit of a cliche to start with, but I’m afraid the tortuous grammar left me cold. Really, read a book on style and try again.

  24. I…I…I…I…I…I…I…I…I..My…I….I…I…I…Me.
    Only varying your pronouns every ten sentences makes it hard to digest pasta.
    Story was okay, but…meh.

  25. Don’t buy it in the least. You mean to tell me you didn’t have the balls to ride past some “prostitutes” and “gangsters” but you mustered up the courage to go into a building you had never seen before, which was an asylum?

    I’m not telling you not to write, but you and I both know this is not true. Anyone with the slightest bit of analytical skill can figure that out. Just write good stories man. They don’t have to be portrayed as true to be creepy. In fact, I’ve found the ones that are said to be “true” are some of the worst.

    Paranormal is all about imagination. Don’t limit yourself like this. Think and then write something that will truly chill the reader.

  26. There’s been many “sightings” of this kind of stuff .. matter in fact I’ve heard these kind of things on the radio. Happy you’ve shared this

  27. This was a complete waste of time. Your dialogue sucks, your plots suck, and it was literally like reading a baby book. Future note: Draw the plots out. Make the scenes last longer. And go into detail. [Removed pointlessly rude comments. Get therapy if reading this actually made you that angry. -Derp]

  28. when you first saw it you should have at least tried to take a picture of it. what i don’t get is why that wasn’t there at 3 am the witching hour

  29. I live in Fresno so I can believe that you didn’t find it again. Not because it disappeared, or never existed but because that area is confusing as hell. Very difficult to navigate even during the daytime.

    1. And you were the one who kept reading it. If it sucked so much you could have stopped =__= You wasted your own time.

  30. I enjoyed this, usually I have A.D.D when it comes to reading stories on here but this kept me interested. My only criticism is albeit the ending in your life may of been short with this story, it seemed to end too abruptly. Maybe it’s just me but what about Cris’ reaction to your story, or have you asked others from town about the asylum?

    Altogether, 8/10.

  31. Very good pasta. It had truth too it and I thought it was well written. I wouldgive it an 8/10 but the ending sucked so I am giving you a 7/10. Still a good story though

  32. I enjoyed your story and all, but this is what I’ve learned from this piece.
    When you described it as a “scary fucking building” it was the first time you cursed in the story (I think).
    Anyways, the word “fuck” had so much more meaning when it was used so sparingly.
    Not much relevance to the story, just a cool detail that I could use if I really wanted to assign emphasis.

  33. Something like this happened to my friends dad. On his usual route home from work at
    1 or so in the morning, he saw a house that has never been there. The next day it was gone again

  34. Fake. I have to admit, you made this story seem somewhat true, if one did not closely pay attention to detail. I found it peculiar that in the middle of the night, you were able to make out what was in the drawers, as well as the coloring of the tiles in an abandoned building(obviously without lights, as you never mentioned having a flashlight). It also seemed odd that this so-called ‘asylum’ had an operating room and a morgue. You might need your memory refreshed on what an asylum actually is. An asylum is a place where the mentally unstable go to live and receive treatment. I highly doubt that an insane asylum would have and operating room and a morgue. I also noticed that you frequently switched out the word ‘asylum’ for ‘house’ and ‘medical facility’. An asylum should not be easily confused with either of those. Hmmm . . .

    I found too many holes in the work for it to possibly be true. Awfully written . . .

    1. actually he said he had a flashlight from his bike and there WAS a asylum in a near by town that had a house attached to it they tore it down not to long ago and most asylums have a morgue because some people do die there its a home for the insane theyd be left there if not able to be “cured” when “treated” especially if it was an older one
      goodnight Jill

    2. TheReaderDownUnder

      I can tell you’re either an idiot or a troll, so let me enlighten you my friend.
      He was almost accurate with the description of an Asylum. They all look nearly the same, and it’s quite obvious that you have no idea what you’re talking about. The morgue is where they put the body if one of the patients die, until someone from the family retrieves it. And the Operating Room is self explanatory. Some things he said didn’t make sense I’ll admit, but not to the extent of what you said. So thick about what the topic at hand before you judge someones entire life because of a few mess ups in a story, that are all opinionated. Grow up.

  35. I did not even read the whole “story.” I just skimmed it until I thought something interesting happened, realized nothing had, and continued on.

  36. I have to admit I was surprised to see a submission about my hometown on here. XD I’ve been down Van Ness a lot too (well, mainly just when it’s Christmas time), and I wouldn’t go out alone that late at night at all. This city seems to be a rather active place for that sort of thing. XD

  37. english is cool

    Quite simply, it was awful! Hand this into your English teacher at school, because judging by the writing techniques you’re like 13, and see if they say it’s amazing. It’s the writing itself that gets to me, the story itself would be pretty decent if it weren’t for your absolute lack in literary skills. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but everyone saying it’s well written with little errors are wrong, as the whole way through this story I had to force myself to go on due to errors in your writing. I may sound incredibly pathetic, but good literary skills are key to a good story, and without it your story is potentially something that could be scribbled down on the back of a napkin. I’m sure if you are to write more in the future, but I would hope that you would improve your skills, unless your first language isn’t English, and in that case kudos to you, as that would be well written for someone who was not brought up using the language. Sorry that it’s not a positive comment, but it’s constructive criticism and I’m sure you will improve in future!

    1. I don’t think he hates this story enough :P
      but seriously man, we don’t care if there is errors
      if you didn’t enjoy the story, that fine
      just don’t be a troll

    2. Are you Frankie’s English teacher? – I don’t see who else would have such a problem. It’s not like we hire editors here or anything. Also in not knowing Frankie’s age, educational background or mental state, I do hope you’ll consider reviewing the story in future and not someone’s skills in future. As a whole the story was very understandable and descriptive making good use of constructive sentences.

      1. “I’m sure if you are to write more in the future, but I would hope that you would improve your skills,” And you criticise him for poor use of literary skills…

    3. Actually, English isn’t my first language either and even I noticed many grammatical errors, but otherwise the story and description were rather good.

  38. Hey you’re from California :D I wont name the city to keep personal profile still safe but Im from the same city as you maybe.

  39. Wow that was very anti climatic. The beggining and middle were great. The ending was boring and lame. Definitly should write an alternate ending for us people who wanna be scared sh*tless ;)

  40. As a new participant in reading stories on Creepy Pasta as a 17 year old girl, after nerding up in my room reading Stephen King books, I can say this was a very amazing piece of work! Thank you for sharing your horrifying experience. Quite honestly, I wish I could have an encounter with the “impossible” or “unknown”. And yes, this is my first comment!

  41. Van Ness.. Blackstone.. Fresno, CA? I live here.. Should I stalk Van Ness Ave at all hours of the night to see if something happens? I’ve heard of some unnerving things in Fresno. The torn-down side of Downtown. Chinatown. Shady Tower District. Fresno’s a very old city. Perhaps there is more than meets the eye here.

    1. Fresno ,CA D: very creepy but I mean I bet everyone in Fresno has their ghost stories maybe not as creepy as this but some crazy stuff happens here

  42. I enjoyed this story. It was well written with few errors and it wasn’t overly exaggerated. Whether it’s true or not doesn’t matter. The story is the most important element not whether it’s fiction or nonfiction. I also appreciate how you kept it short but not too short and how there is really no “bad guy.” It makes it more realistic. 7/10 Good work.

    1. Mhm maybe it only shows at 3am dedtime that is when goes are the most active and it so happen to be 2am and the fact you didnt stay there all night was a good idea you coulde have gote lost with the building but what you should have done was planned to get you and your friends and gone down that BITCH

      1. I thought the same thing accept he said “then the grim reality reminded me its about 2 am” when he and Chris get there its around 3

  43. This has to be one of the worst pieces of literature produced. This could be concluded from: your appalling basic sentence structure; poor grammar; unnecessary use of profanity and unrealistic features of the text (ie. the floor creeks, but you’re walking on tiles). It was certainly a waste of my time and I shall certainly avoid your later works. One of my acquaintances pointed out many times that you often switched from an “asylum”, to a “medical facility” then continue to call it a “house”, and even as far as to say a “mansion”.

    Sincerest regards,

    I’m better than you.

    1. “This has to be one of the worst pieces of literature [ever] produced. This [is evident in] your appalling basic sentence structure[,] poor grammar[,] unnecessary use of profanity[,] and unrealistic features ([e.g.] the floor *creaks, but you’re walking on tiles). /One of my acquaintances pointed [to] many [instances where] you switched [between] “asylum,” “medical facility,” “house,” and “mansion.” [Reading this] was certainly a waste of my time[,] and I shall certainly avoid your later works.”

      Sincerest regards,

      Apparently, no you are not.

      1. Creepy Stuf Makes me High

        You sir have just made my day! Lol at least I can admit that my grammar is terrible! (plz feel free to point out any mistakes in this btw)

  44. call me easy to impress but i’ll give this a 10/10. A lot of people here are calling bullshit and shitting on for it…well…no shit surlock. its obviously fake. like one of you said buildings just don’t poof in and out of existance. its supposed to be mostly real which if you’ll look to the keyword “based” on a true story. like texas chainsaw massacre, its “based” on a true story but a lot in the movie beggars belief. so its true to its category. for example. maybe the person writing this did investigate an abandoned asylum but it wasn’t in a nice neighborhood where people would be creeped the hell out of, but it was added in there to make it seem out of place. along with the mysterious vanishing of the asylum to add a bit of paranormal mystery to it. plus it was an enjoyable read. even if it isn’t real…well, just you know, enjoy it.

  45. Very good pasta indeed. I thought your writing was good, it made the groove a little chillier. Also, I can’t believe that in my 405 songs playlist, that Paranoid by Black Sabbath and Miss Murder by AFI happend to turn on while reading this.

  46. i thought it was pretty well written i don’t know what everyone else is talking about… i mean sure maybe i’m a bit skeptical and i’m trying to work it out in my mind how on earth it wasn’t there the next morning, but you definitely had me hooked.

  47. It was a good story. I don’t quite believe in the paranormal but this is seemingly chilling, I like how you didn’t use any “I WAS SO SCARED OMG AHH” kind-of thing.

  48. Don’t get me wrong, this was good. But there’s too many grammatical errors because you were trying too hard. Your diction and use of language sounds a little forced. Good concept, though not the strongest. Very entertaining nonetheless. 7/10

  49. Too much padding and repetitiveness. Also kind of a pointless story for the cop-out ending. “Unexplainable” is not usually applied to times when you can explain something by just thinking for a minute.

  50. This story reminds me of Marilyn Manson’s in the show called, “Celebrity Ghost Stories”. Both stories talk about supposedly entering a building that appeared to have never existed the next morning.

  51. This is bullshit. Everything still looked sterile even though there was broken windows? Completely untouched by the elements? Why were files scattered? Is it common for hospitals to leave the filing cabinets open or just throw records everywhere when they close? A BUILDING MAGICALLY APPEARED?! C’mon man. Not to mention you talk about something that recently happened like it happened years ago and you’ve grown so much since

  52. Personally, the only conclusion I make out of this story is that it is better to take the “main road, where the prostitutes and gangsters usually hung out”, than Van Ness, so as not to end up in weird asylums.

  53. I don’t really believe this, but it’s way more believable than most “true story” pastas, especially that freaking orange one. You did do a good job of not making it too dramatic, and that was a really refreshing change.

  54. Even if you’re sincere, this is bullshit and can be explained. Sorry mate but buildings don’t magically appear out of nowhere. Too much LSD, a very vivid dream, or hallucinations from sleep deprivation.

  55. I think I would’ve enjoyed this more if you didn’t have so many grammatical errors. You had quite a few words missing in the first half of your pasta, and you also misused a lot of commas. This is a decent story, but it would’ve made it better if the errors weren’t there. Just proofread it a few more times than you usually would. It doesn’t hurt to.

  56. I’m sorry, but I’m not buying this was real, the reason being that I’m just the kind of skeptical asshole you described in the beginning.

    I’m intrigued by the stories of paranormal, the unexplained and I enjoy a good scare more than most people, but I cannot, underline CANNOT get myself to begin to believe any of these stories.

    I disregard first-hand stories from the people I know and I especially don’t believe anything put up on the internet.

    Don’t get me wrong though, if I ever saw something akin to a ghost or paranormal I would be the first to scream like a frightened schoolgirl and run in the opposite direction.

    With that being said, I did kinda like the story. You didn’t go over the top by adding some big baddie in the mix, which I can appreciate.

    8/10

  57. Jane The Killer

    I may not be able to sleep because the locker slamming thing but whatever! That was awesome!

    1. The beauty of this story is that the writer introduces true and realistic reactions to a situation, i.e. not wanted to enter a building and making up excuses.

      What was a cliche? Which aspects? And can you write better?

      1. Why does one have to be a better writer in order to criticize something? You don’t have to be a politician to talk politics, or a musician to criticize music. Don’t weaken your own credibility by relying on such childish arguments.

    2. exactly!, the fact that the author included real life reactions made me even more (for lack of a better term), spooked; because it made it easier and more vivid for me to picture myself in his place…
      And to be quite honest, c’mon, a disapearing Asylum; I would have shat my pants

  58. The Ending was good. Sometimes you were overexaggerating tho. You also go way to much into detail. Some parts could’ve easily been scratched, like thE beggining should have been alot shorter. But it was pretty neat nonetheless. 8/10

  59. Congrats on your pasta being uploaded. I am disappointed though. “Something not able to be explained!” Is what I got from the start and didn’t receive in the end.(Not meant to be taken in the langue literal sense but in one I care not explain.) I thank you for telling me something I already knew, and for motivating me to continue the work I do. Because unlike you. I know there’s a way to find out everything. Just not in our own way of doing so. Silly people that only know some the story of mine when I only know a fraction of the story they possess. Good luck on Expose and Correct. Seems like you’ll need it without a mentor.

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