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The Hitchhiker



Estimated reading time — 4 minutes

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said solemnly as I pulled up in front of my friend’s house. She dug her phone from her purse and waved it at me.
“Call me now, and I’ll stay on the phone with you until you get home. Don’t be scared. There isn’t anything in the dark that isn’t in the light.”
I had always hated driving from her house to mine at night. We both lived on the back roads. There were no streetlights, and the trees masked the moon. I nodded and gave her a half-hearted smile as she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the passenger side door. She waved her phone at me again with a smile as she slammed the door shut, leaving me alone in the car. I hurriedly fished around in my purse for my own phone as she disappeared into her house. Once I found it, I called her and pulled away.
“Heeyyyy!” She chirped.
“I hate my life.” I moaned.
“You’ll be fine. Why do we have to live on such creepy roads?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we should both move into town.” I joked.
“Maybe we should just move in together and not worry about driving at all.” She replied with a giggle.
I sped along the curvy road, narrowly missing an opossum that was lounging on the shoulder. We spent a good ten minutes talking about random things to keep my mind off of the drive. I kept checking behind me in the back seat periodically which, in hindsight, wasn’t a wise thing to do while speeding down a dark, curvy road while on the phone.
I turned a sharp curve, and approached a piece in the road we referred to as “the roller coaster”. It was a straight stretch with large bumps that made your belly flip when you went over them at a certain speed. My friend was in the middle of explaining her television show to me when my phone cut out. This was not a good time for me to drop a call. “The roller coaster” was dark and uninhabited with a large tree covered hill on one side, and a dark drop off on the other. I knew I wouldn’t keep service through the entire trip home, but loosing service at this particular location was a worst case scenario. I waited hopefully for her to call me back, since it was more dangerous for me to shuffle through my contacts on this road.
I glanced at my phone to see if she was calling yet. I still didn’t have service. When I glanced back up at the road, I saw a tall dark figure. I cursed, swerved, and slammed on my breaks to avoid hitting what I believed to be a man. I stopped my car completely and looked around. Not seeing anyone, I decided it was my eyes playing tricks on me after looking at a bright phone screen, and I continued driving.
Once I got passed “the roller coaster” my phone began to vibrate. I answered and it was my friend.
“Sorry, I lost service.” I said.
“It’s all good. Where you at now?”
“Just passed the roller coaster. Almost on the main road.”
There was a stretch of road that was maybe a mile long that I considered a main road, even though it was really just a more populated back road. I prayed silently to encounter another car, although that was unlikely at two in the morning.
“You’re almost there. You got this!” She said encouragingly.
I drove across a bridge, and reluctantly turned and crossed the train tracks onto my road. My road was another dark, uninhabited back road that was about four miles long.
As soon as I took the first curve I lost service again. This time, however, I shouldn’t have dropped the call quite yet. I didn’t want to glance at my phone again after my last experience, so I hoped that my friend realized that I shouldn’t have lost service yet. Apparently she didn’t. I waited and waited but there was no call.
I was to a point in the road that was always overly dark. Even during the day, it made me feel uneasy due to two obviously vacant trailers situated overly close to the road.
With my peripherals, I saw another tall shadow by the road not even two feet from my car. I glanced in my rear view mirror, and saw nothing. When my eyes darted back onto the road, I saw him. He was the size of a taller gentleman, cloaked in shadow. The only features I could see on his darkened face were the glimmer of his eyes. He stood close by the road in the curve that I was about to inevitably pass through. He slowly lifted a dark arm and I could see that his thumb was pointed upward.
I tried my best to focus on the road as I sped like a bat out of hell around the curve. I could have swore I heard a low, deep, monotone voice behind me say, “Drive carefully.” I looked in my rear view mirror, and briefly thought I saw a dark shadow in my back seat. I whirled around and saw nothing but a bunch of old clothes and empty McDonalds bags that I had tossed back there carelessly. I turned back to face the road, and sped the entire way back to my house.
I haven’t driven alone at night on those roads since.

I will tell you now, this story is true. You can say it was my imagination, but I’ve driven those roads at night scared out of my wits more than once. That was the first time I saw anything abnormal, and the last time I will EVER drive those roads in the dark. My friend can drive herself from now on. I am done. I should also tell you, and this may very well be unrelated to what I saw that night, but the next morning my husband was walking up the road, and saw a large crudely sharpened butcher knife at the end of our driveway.

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Credit To – TheRadHatter

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44 thoughts on “The Hitchhiker”

  1. For the girl who said the knife was from another story..it was actually true in this case. I really found a Butcher knife there matching the one in the story..and all kinds of weird stuff happened while I was in possession of it.

  2. Excellent pasta. Although, it could’ve done without the knife at the end. I feel like you were trying to make it seem spooky and mysterious. I like the idea of the hitchiker being a ghost or something. But I digress…very tasty pasta, indeed. 9/10.

  3. It’s a good start but I was a little disappointed that the hitchhiker didn’t amount to something more sinister. I think just taking out the part about the butcher knife would make this story more frightening.

    1. Me too. I still don’t understand what the butcher knife had to do with anything. And the “drive carefully”

  4. The scariest part about this story is the fact you were driving while talking on your cellphone…AND you almost ran into a possum.

  5. what….did that mean? NO CLUE!
    -the slend
    PS- sorry for your confusion that was me, the TALL, SKINNY man!

  6. Hey I’m not sure if this could help or if you or anyone reading this will believe me but here goes. I have had want encounters like yours believe it or not. Let me start out by saying I’m America Indian and highly spiritual. To put it in easy words you could say I have some sort of gift for seeing spirits. I can promise you right now that What you saw was infact a spirit. Since you mentioned his eyes glittering I’d say he was harmless. They do like to mess with people I’ve seen it mmyself and have talked to many others about it. They’re dead so what else do they have to do? When they have reform almost red gleaming eyes that’s when you steady clear. They can project words clear enough for us to hear them. And some people just have a knack for being able to see them. If you see him again or anything like that just say aloud and in a demanding voice “leave me alone now!!” Evey single time this has worked. It’s like getting shot down when you adjourned the popular kid. the way you described his look is common. Like said before what I say can be believed or toucan say I’m nuts but I just wanted to try and clear it up. They’re not always something to be afraid of. It’s scary I know. Ive been there until I started trying to ask them why me. They do talk back. And now I even think I’m crazy but it’s crazier that it’s true. Justbwanted together and give you a piece ofmind that it’s okay what you saw.

    1. Telling a spirit to leave you alone does NOT always work. In a lot of cases, it just makes the situation worse.

  7. I will tell you now, this story is true. OH REALLY? I’ve had weddings scarier than this, the diolouge in the beginning is embarrassing as hell, and there are just too many cheesy lines in general like the butcher knife, calling the road a roller coaster. There was no fear, I could easily say the same things about going to the bathroom blindfolded. I don’t mean to be a dick, but this story bothered me

  8. I know you all are saying “rewrite” and “cliche”, but I swear to you this story is true. I didnt add anything to “spice it up”. That is why it’s so creepy to me and that is why I posted it. Plus, the butcher knife scared the crap out of me when we found it.

    1. I believe you, because almost exactly the same has happened to me.. Minus the second sighting and the butcher knife. Read my first comment :)

  9. Okay…? I was unimpressed with this one simply because of the main character’s fear of the road. I felt like the main character needed to grow up. She’s scared of this road in the country… big whoop. It’s a road. If she’s traveled it so often, why is she such a chicken? And since I wasn’t scared of this road, I wasn’t scared of the hitchhiker.

    With respect to your style: please, Please, PLEASE avoid cliches. Cliches are a form of automatic thinking, and so we readers skim over it. “Like a bat out of hell” was a wonderful phrase… at first. Now it’s just a way of saying “hurriedly,” or “eagerly.”

  10. My God, I would have tried to butcher you too if I saw you driving with your head glued to a fucking phone.

    I swear cellphones ought to be banned while driving and anyone caught doing so getting the same penalty as a DUI.

  11. It was dark and you saw a hitchhiker on a dark country road. It also sounds like you just threw in that last bit about the knife at the end to spice up the pasta. Not creepy at all.

  12. Seriously, just move into town together. Secondly, be grateful to the figure. It was concerned about your safety, taking into account your careless driving while talking on the phone on a dangerous road.

  13. Almost sounds like that figure just wanted you to arrive safely! Maybe they kept trying to get you to slow down since the roads could be dangerous? That’s what I’m going with because if not I’m going to be creeped out completely! I liked this one :)

  14. The second extremely generic story in a row. Now that we have filled the “after death phone call/facebook” and “hitchhiker” categories can we call them closed?
    Oh well, I guess rewrites are better than what we could be getting. Sorry to be so negative.

  15. Ironically, I find the creepiest part of this is the (very real) idea that people will drive home speeding at midnight along windy roads talking on a cell phone and searching the back seat of their car.

  16. The journey you described is almost EXACTLY like the one back to my house from my boyfriend’s house… The description of the roads.. The order in which they came…
    The first appearance of a man in the road happened to me once, in exactly the same place. I was lucky enough to not have the second appearance though…
    Ugh. For those reasons, this pasta was far too creepy for me… So 10/10.

    1. Really? Why would people down vote what I previously wrote?
      ‘Oooh someone had a scary experience the same as in this story. They must be an idiot!’

      I don’t understand people sometimes…

  17. Totally out of the subject but, first on the comments box! Yes! But to be honest, it gave me another reason not to drive in dark roads like that. But it also did not satisfy my appetite for horror so I gave it an 8/10, and what does the knife have to do anything with the ending?

  18. It started off with a pretty creepy vibe but as the main character drove home it feels like some of the wording and choices in plot weakened what could have been a really scary story. I think specifically the line where the hitchhiker says “drive carefully” you really lost me. Nice concept(if a little cliche) though and I did like how you captured some tense feelings in the first couple paragraphs. Keep trying! 5/10

      1. …you’re capable of browsing through random pastas, right? Like, on the side or at the bottom…you’re capable of clicking on those right?

  19. I have read countless variations of this story. One going back almost twenty years. They always involve the older gentleman, the butcher knife, and a lass alone on the road. While this one was well written, consistent for the most part, and fun… the butcher knife just ruined it.

  20. THEN WHO WAS.......nevermind...

    I can’t resist …..forgive me please but….WHO WAS TALL SHADOWY CREEPY MAN ON THE LONG STRETCH OF CURVY ROAD???

    This was pretty ok I suppose. Just wondering why someone would keep putting themselves in a predicament of driving at night when they clearly hate it and don’t have to? Also expected more from this hitchhiker. Still not bad story

    1. I Just pictured slender man with a face and a toothy smile *shudder the very ending was kinda confusing but still very haunting I wish I could write this way!

      1. How was it confusing??obviously there really was someone there that planned on killing the driver…right

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