Everyone knows me,
No one knows my name,
I am well liked,
but not close to fame,
My heart was broken,
and I died in the rain,
I became a ghost,
Sid was my name,
That night I walked to school,
I climbed to the top,
I had to do this fast,
So I wouldn’t get caught,
I looked over the edge,
Thought of why I was sad,
I couldn’t die now,
I was only a lad,
It was stormy that night,
The wind pushed me over,
I tumbled all the way down,
And I landed in the clovers,
I lay laid there for a while,
I could see the ground keeper’s shed,
My eyes grew very heavy,
As I bowed my head,
From that day on,
I could not leave,
I then grew lonely,
So I started to deceive,
If I’m stuck her forever,
I might as well have friends,
So I started to plot,
This problem I would mend,
I lured children’s playthings
Into the ground’s keeper’s shed,
To collect some friends,
Children must become dead,
After I collected some friends,
The town grew suspicious,
They all had thought that,
The Groundskeeper was vicious,
The town strung him up,
“It wasn’t me,
I swear it was not I!”,
He screamed hoarsely,
The moment when he died.
The townsfolk thought their kids were safe,
They could never be so wrong,
The accidents kept on happening,
It was me all along,
Through the years and accidents,
The school was shut down,
But that will never stop me,
Until I collect all the children in town,
They demolished the school,
But the shed is still there,
In an overgrown field,
I wait to ensnare,
They say in the evening,
You can still hear the creak,
of the grounds keeper’s shed,
I can’t wait until we meet.
Credit To – kanti_sama
Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.
That’s spooky! I don’t Wanna meet the Ghost! I liked it! I even created a little rhythm in my head. Good story!
i really liked this one. brilliant 10/10
I read this poem in the style of “fresh prince of bellaire” lol
A decent effort, but not very good. More practice and prose will help tighten up the screws. 4/10 Keep reading and writing
If you guys have watched Pumpkinhead there is a poem explaining an old urban legend. This feels like something that would be told from one teenager to another around a campfire, or perhaps if there was a shed sitting out in an overgrown field it would be a creepy way to explain it. Another thought is that poetry in literary context is to be read aloud, so if you didn’t read it aloud then your doing it wrong. My props to the author for this actually decent piece and Admin for standing up for the authors you stand behind. There is a reason I love this site.
hmm….write more. this was quite good but the tone was somehow off 7/10
so he commit suicide and then killed a all the townsfolk’s children?im so lost
Yes that is what the author was getting at.
I would like to know the age of the submitter before I form judgement.
Why am I downvoted for asking a serious question?
Dont worry I was downvoted for saying I liked this poem. (I responded to Derp’s rant to Junk in the first comment) Some people on this site think “you dont agree with me so I downvote”
I actually think this is really relevant. Age can have a great deal of influence on what kind of direction your advice should head in. How harsh you are and all that.
Oh…uh well SORRY for “blowing your mind” Deepbutt…oh excuse me…I mean DERPbutt. I actually had requested for that comment to be deleted but APPARENTLY you just HAD to publish it to show your distaste of the comment. Which FYI: I indeed finished reading this poem after REQUESTING FOR THE DELETION and it STILL sucked….hence the low rating…and still made no sense. Didn’t mean to rub you or anyone else the wrong way with my oh-so-horrible feedback!!!!! So PLEASE Deepbutt…forgive me. :'(
There’s a difference between leaving feedback after you’ve read something and rating it poorly – nobody is attacking you for that; if you believe that’s what I’m doing, I can’t help you.
The “didn’t read lol but here’s feedback anyhow” thing is becoming quite a trend here and on crappypasta and it’s not particularly helpful to anyone. It’s one thing if you say (as many do on Crappypasta) “I stopped reading this BECAUSE it’s about Jeff the Killer and he’s so overused that I no longer care” – that gives the author some useful feedback in that their topic is so cliche as to immediately alienate people.
But what you did, the “I didn’t read past this line to see if there was context and now I’m going to blame the author for my own laziness” is not helpful. It’s not valid. I compared it to the people who get angry with authors for using words they personally don’t know because it’s a similar case of the reader blaming the author for something that is actually entirely in the reader’s control.
Once again, there is a big difference between leaving criticism because you read and didn’t like it (which is fine, this is done every single day and you’ll notice I don’t take issue with it) and leaving criticism that actually serves no purpose beyond “hey, I feel like putting the author down because I’m bored” – which is the only motivation I can imagine for someone insulting the author over something they didn’t even bother to read.
I dislike people needlessly insulting the authors. I like constructive criticism. I hope that this makes my point more easily understood, and that you are calm enough now to read it without going into defensive overdrive like you did above (the “Deepbutt” thing was a cute touch, though).
And yes, the comment deletion request doesn’t seem to be working at all as of its newest update. I’m just going to remove the function as it’s simply not working. But if you would like to prefer to believe that it was a plot to make you look silly by simply approving the comment that you wrote and submitted for posting, please do continue.
Update: I have tweaked the settings on the comment deletion thing – you guys SHOULD be able to simply delete your comments within the 5-minute edit window, without needing me to do anything. Here’s hoping this will allow people to still use the function since the plugin stopped giving me the requests at all after the recent upgrade.
If it doesn’t work, please let me know so that I can just disable that option entirely.
I apologize…no disrespect towards the author or administrator. My bad yall.
I suggest you show some respect for the administrator of this site. Derp could easily block you. If Derp was as immature as you are, he would just delete or ban you. Instead, he published your idiotic comment and responded in a mature way. Your feedback was inappropriate and could have been forgiven before the above comment which just shows your immaturity.
Think before you comment.
Who asked you? I was mildly joking with Mr. Butt. Mind yours, Faith.
No sir you were being an asshole you are one of those people who make the internet unbearable for people. I come on this site to do honest to God reviews of peoples work and to see someone trash what i do by leaving a half ass criticism of someones work and thinking it’s gold. You insulted the Admin who by the way is supreme on this site. Respect to Derpbutt from TOKC it was nice of you not to ban this guy/girl.
I’d call this a pasta poem since the “creepy” was nowhere to be found. I’m sorry to say, but the pasta was no where near to be even accidental/lightly creepy. My advice is if your going to use a poetic style try using a twist ending instead of the more trendy waiting ending. Otherwise just stray away from poems unless you can mock up some perfect pasta to change my mind. Still it wasn’t the worst pasta out there of course.
Frankly I didn’t enjoy this.
Shocking.
The story isn’t bad, the poetry is so and so. Some lines are way longer than others, so they don’t really “sound” well in context. There is even a passage with 5 lines instead of 4.
I’d just rewrite it in prose, might be much better.
Sooooo……….basically you….but wait why?…..and WHO WAS….??? You know what….. nevermind.
I’m sorry but…..uh…..well…I stopped reading after “that night I walked to school” and something about climbing to the top. If you were only a lad why were you walking to school at night? Not bashing your poem, just wish it made more sense.
Why do people leave comments like this? If you didn’t finish reading, you have no idea if it made sense or not. There is, in fact, context given for that sentence. It’s given immediately after the sentence that you quoted.
This is similar to the people who leave comments getting angry with the author for using a word they didn’t understand and couldn’t be bothered to look up (yes, this has been happening lately, and it absolutely blows my mind that people think the author should somehow be aware of and catering to their refusal to have a decent vocabulary): it is not valid criticism. If information is presented to you and you choose not to absorb it, that fault is with you, not the writer.
You guys know by now that I don’t take issue with people giving their opinions, but come on. It’s not helpful when the “feedback” is actually just a display of the reader’s laziness.
Yet its OK to blow up the comment section with “THEN WHO WAS…” bullshit..
Irrelevant, but you tried.
Derp! lol thank you so much for that I so needed that comment. I completely agree that is one of the most agitating things. This poem was really good! Not very scary however, but its hard to make a poem scary. It deserves a much higher rating then it has. Author, Please make more!
hardly irrelavant..you ask why do people leave comments like the one above this post…(people who say they stopped reading bc something doesnt make sense) yet its ok for people to leave childish comments, hogging up the whole feed for a who was soandso ??? im sorry but i feel bad for some of these authors. alot of these people are getting their feet wet with their creepypastas and are looking for serious feedback, but get that shit..kudos to everyone who gives their honest opinions and advice. to those who just use it to play games just shows their age i guess