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The Forgotten Vending Machine

Estimated reading time โ€” < 1 minute

There is a village somewhere in England that has not been inhabited for over 20 years. It has long since been forgotten off of most maps, and only has one road in and out of it. If you manage to find it, it will seem a peaceable enough place, the derelict buildings being overgrown and nature taking back the land for herself. However somewhere within the village is a vending machine which still has power. it will still have it’s original look and sell ordinary brands of drink (though with 20 year old packaging) however the one at the very bottom will be marked “E”. Pay only in 10p pieces to buy this drink.

Before drinking the mysterious beverage, peer inside the can to check it’s colour (do not try to pour some out. it will refuse to leave the can despite any vigorous shaking you may attempt). If it is green in color, drink heartily, as it will give you an unnaturally long lifespan and good luck in everything you do. If it is red, however, drinking it will spread a horrific pestilence over you, claiming one of your senses every 10 years after the date that you first imbibed.

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96 thoughts on “The Forgotten Vending Machine”

  1. I believe the village this guy is talking about is ‘Boys village’ in whales. Supposedly the village has been haunted for a while now but there is no proof of it and the reason I believe its this village is because there aren’t really any other abandoned villages in the UK…

  2. KilljoyMakesArt

    Okay. “However, somewhere within the village, is a vending machine, which still has power…” As well as GUMMY WORMZ. “It will still have it’s original look and sell ordinary brands of drink.” Mmmhm. DO YOU HAVE MR. PIBB?! … Oh? You do? Okay. “Pay only in 10p pieces to buy this drink.” You have to pee ten times to buy this? …. Not worth it.

  3. Started off great, but then it just started to go downhill. It seemed like you got bored or lost inspiration and ended it rather abruptly.

  4. omg the only good thing about this is the originality, who would have thought of a haunted vending machine? and why dont you just use a pippete to see the colour and i didnt know mountain dew had that sort of effect on ppl D:

  5. @jm187 I think smosh posted a video about a haunted easy bake oven, it was a parody of para ormal activity. Epic lolz. Plus I LOVE mountain dew. Just a note though is that this village was apparently abandoned 20 years ago so it isn’t ancient or something, just different vernacular and terms for things in UK than USA. Town = Village. 1990s soda probably wasn’t much different than ours anyway, I can’t remember if Mountain dew existed in my childhood though. :/
    I also think the story explained that you can drink it without issue, however pouring it out is magically blocked to prevent giving some flowers the loss of eyesight or somehing lol. But still WHO WAS COLORBLIND?!

  6. If it doesn’t pour out despite how vigorously you shake it, how exactly are you supposed to drink it? And seriously, ritual pasta about a haunted soda can? Come on now…

  7. asdfghjkl: It could be able to use any 10p, using magic to tell. And if not, then just grind down chunks of metal to be about the same weight and size

  8. It’s true, it’s all true. I went to the town ten years ago, drank the red liquid and lost my sense of decorum. Now I can laugh at other people’s misfortune without feeling bad about it later.

  9. hi, dont turn around

    i’d suppose if the drink was red then you could chuck it, and if the liquid wont come out of the can, how can you drink it

    i bought 3 of the green ones…
    the villagers all lived unnaturaly long, buying a whole bunch of green sodas… I MEAN… MR.WELLDONE THE JIG IS UP

  10. In my opinion, they couldn’t have given the drink a worse name. ‘E’? Why not just call it ‘Meth’ or ‘Crack’? Seriously.

    Fear the Darkness


  11. Good observation GIR.
    I guess since it’s an old village then 20 years may seem like an unnatural lifespan as they don’t have today’s … medical technology?
    -Head implodes- D:

    WARNING (aka Moral of the Story): Do not attempt this if you are colour-blind.

  12. Hold on a sec. How would anyone know you got an “unusually long life span” if the drinks are only 20 yeras old? Wouldn’t it have made more sense if it were a well or something?

    *Head explodes*

  13. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait a sec. How would anyone know you got an “unusually long life span” if the drinks are only 20 yeras old? Wouldn’t it have made more sense if it were a well or something?

    *Head explodes*

  14. This sounds like a story you’d write for a state writing test in highschool.
    The other day I had to take one, and one of the prompts you could choose was “Write a story with the title The Open Window, The hidden shoebox, or the missing letter”

  15. Its not bad, pretty good really just that…well if you get the red drink just dont drink it. If they added say…a penalty for not drinking it or you have to pass it one to someone in said days it would be better.

    But in the end its very good

  16. subLImal mEsSaging

    Hmmm…Vending machines luff me, once after gym, me and my friends were all thirsty , but I only had a dollar at the moment, so I went to get a bottle of water out of a vending machine with the dollar, and he gave me 4 FUCKING BOTTLES!! XDD just enough for me and my friends :)
    Nice pasta, btw. XD

  17. The Tainted Truth

    :/ Hm this ones ok although I really like the concept prehaps a diffrent setting would have been nice ….The nagain if it’s 20 years old I don’t see it hiding in your base ment at 7 at night.

  18. Hey Pew Pew Laser Gun, I am color blind. And I’m sure if I ever went to this town I’d screw it all up, lol. This pasta was fairly good, I liked the atmosphere and the prize and the punishment are pretty good too.

  19. LOL! Anon E. Mouse… Hahaha, that was funny.
    The only thing demonic about vending machines is the way my package of chips always gets stuck in them. Grr.

  20. So… what if you obtain the red drink, only drink a sip and not the whole thing, and you’re one of those people that are just curious and wants to see if it works?
    Does only drinking a sip still count as drinking the whole thing?
    And it’s normally hard to see inside of a can.. the color of the drink, I mean. Dark. Couldn’t you get something to suck a sample out and then pour it out to see the color? :/
    And I wonder if giving it to someone else and having them drink it would have the same effect..

  21. Pew Pew Laser Gun

    I don’t really like this one either, as there’s an almost certain chance of you coming out well from it. As long as you aren’t colourblind, you will either get the long lifespan, or you will see red liquid, toss it, and just go back to normal. A good one of these types of Pastas would have a good chance of you somehow screwing up the ritual/whatever and supernatually fucking yourself over because of it.

    Oh, and at WHO WAS PHONE, I just read the FAQ. I realise that I criticise alot of these pastas, but I hope you’re not interpreting it as me complaining about them. I’m just giving my two cents here, so please don’t take offense or anything to my criticisms. Thanks, again, for the many sleepless nights from this site!

  22. 1. i lol’d
    2. if the drink is green more than likely it’s because it’s been rotting in a can in a vending machine of a ghost town for 20 years…just trippin’ on expired soda.
    3. i think the people from this town moved to that Blanche place in France. hehe

  23. haha number 11 your hillarious.

    If the color of the drink is pink, you will be cured of diarrhea illness for the rest of your life.

  24. What if you were like, 100, and you drank the red, you probably wouldn’t be alive long enough to lose a limb anyway… haha

  25. Yay good thing my grandpa collected coins lets make a lil break in mwuahahah.Or why don’t we just smash the fricking machine and take all the drinks that come out worked for me with cola wending machine every time.

  26. Does that mean that even if you ingest the red drink, you’ll still live 50 more years at least?

    Or does it mean you’ll be losing senses from beyond the grave?

  27. if the vending machine is 20 years old then it will not accept current 10p pieces. They changed the size of them some years ago.

    If you plan on looking for this village make sure to buy some old 10p pieces from a coin collector.

  28. And if the mystery beverage is yellow in color and of musky scent, it has probably been consumed and recycled already.

    and who was town

      1. His name is not Neo it is Bacon. But, If you take the last letter of Bacon and add it to tthe end of Neo, then change one vowel to “A” and one consonant to “K” in Bacon… IT IS NEON BAKA!

  29. See, here’s a ritual creepypasta I can get behind… although I always do like the “bad things happen to good people for no reason whatsoever” idea, this one was pretty well handled. Simple and effective.

  30. People have obviously run out of mysterious objects to include in creepypasta.

    The fact it’s about a mysterious vending machine just amuses me [=

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