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The Capitol Insurrection Was Worse Than You Thought

Estimated reading time — 4 minutes

January 6th, 2021, probably one of America’s darkest days. If you haven’t heard, on January 6th, a mob of people broke into the US Capitol building in an attempt to stop the confirmation of the 2020 election. This in and of itself is a horrifying concept, especially for Americans, since we pride ourselves on stability within the nation. But, something was unleashed that day, something that should have never been used.

Let me start with an introduction. I won’t say my name, for fear of serious repercussions, but all you need to know is I’m a security guard with the CIA. It’s honestly been pretty boring for most of the time. For six years, all I did was shuffle around files all day, but a few years back, I was assigned to a special detachment that oversaw the safety of government officials in Washington D.C. It was definitely a step up. I would be getting better pay and doing something slightly more interesting. A lot of the job was war gaming and preparations. We wanted to be prepared for everything, and, despite what it may have looked like, we were.

For weeks in advance before the big riot, we expected something of that magnitude, however, we were caught off guard when the mob entered the Capitol building itself. I was in the building at the time, to oversee the security detail and provide information to my superior at headquarters. When shit hit the fan, I suggested we initiate a certain protocol that would unleash something we call ‘Agent Rex.’


Agent Rex is a new chemical weapon that we have been testing on animals in the recent years. It tranquilizes the animal and it collapses, and wakes up a few hours later, unharmed. It had never been tested on humans yet, but January 6th forced our hand.

The protocol called for Agent Rex to be released via air ducts into the Capitol building and incapacitate the attackers. Things were looking grim, and the Pentagon was dragging their feet on sending the military, so the boss gave it the OK. As, I said earlier, a lot of my job was war gaming nightmare scenarios, so we had tanks of Agent Rex in the Capitol, in case violence ever occurred. We didn’t expect to have to use it though. It was only supposed to be a contingency plan. Anyway, to release the Agent Rex, all I had to do was press a button that would activate machines in the vents which would then pump the gas throughout the building.

In theory, everyone in the building should have just fainted once the gas overtook them. No one would get hurt. But, that’s not what happened. Agent Rex can’t be seen, but it does have a faint smell, like ammonia sort of. I don’t know exactly how to describe it, but it was barely detectable. The gas didn’t knock anyone out though. All it did was create slight nausea. At least, at first anyway.
Eventually, the National Guard came and the building was cleared of any threats. But, Agent Rex was considered a complete failure. However, we began noticing some odd behaviors in some of the rioters who were exposed to Agent Rex. First, was the shaking. They would always be trembling or shivering. After the shaking came the rash. A big, ugly purple rash would appear somewhere on their body and they would begin to itch it like crazy. Finally, we believe it causes hallucinations.

These effects all happened in a matter of hours for some, but for others it happened over the course of days. Many weren’t affected at all. It seems Agent Rex affects everyone differently. But, something that caught me off guard was that everyone who was affected seemed to have the same hallucinations. They would speak of yellow smiles. I don’t know what the fuck that means, but they would keep saying things like: the yellow smiles always watch. Or, the yellow smiles have always been here, we just can see them now.

Many of those suffering from the hallucinations then become very aggressive and fearful. They scream about how the yellow smiles own the world and that everyone will die. We’ve had to put a great many under restraint, because of their tendency to lash out at others and bang their heads on walls repeatedly. When confronted about why they bang their heads on the wall, they always say the same thing: to get the smile on my face.


We’ve had to cover up a lot of this stuff over the past few weeks, but I don’t know if we can keep it up. Many politicians were exposed to Agent Rex as well. Already, a few have fallen victim to its effects. Thankfully, we have them in custody and replaced them with crisis actor body doubles. We are currently in the process of trying to reverse the effects of Agent Rex, but with no luck. A few of the victims of Agent Rex even died, and all in the same way: cardiac arrest. Their bodies always had streams of blood coming from their eyes and a smile plastered on their face.


I shouldn’t be telling anyone about this, but I need to get the word out. What I have said may already seem horrifying enough, but doctors now say that interacting with bodies who died of Agent Rex symptoms can cause the same effects to occur within others. You need to stay away from anyone you see who has blood coming from their eyes and is smiling. I have had a lot of difficulty typing this, it took me hours. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop my hands from shaking.

Credit : Hisashi Kurosawa


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