A laundress, newly moved to Charleston following the Civil War, found herself awakened at the stroke of twelve each night by the rumble of heavy wheels passing in the street. But she lived on a dead end street, and had no explanation for the noise. Her husband would not allow her to look out the window when she heard the sounds, telling her to leave well enough alone.
Finally, she asked the woman who washed at the tub next to hers. The woman said: “What you are hearing is the Army of the Dead. They are Confederate soldiers who died in hospital without knowing that the war was over. Each night, they rise from their graves and go to reinforce Lee in Virginia to strengthen the weakened Southern forces.”
The next night, the laundress slipped out of bed to watch the Army of the Dead pass. She stood spell-bound by the window as a Gray fog rolled passed. Within the fog, she could see the shapes of horses, and could hear gruff human voices and the rumble of canons being dragged through the street, followed by the sound of marching feet. Foot soldiers, horsemen, ambulances, wagons, and canons passed before her eyes, all shrouded in Gray. After what seemed like hours, she heard a far off bugle blast, and then silence.
When the laundress came out of her daze, she found one of her arms was paralyzed. She has never done a full day’s washing since.
CREDIT: Anonymous
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This seems like the seeds for a full story, but no so much a full one itself. It has potential, but I feel there were too many unanswered questions. And maybe you could explain or clarify how/why her arm was randomly paralyzed- I didn’t really see the point of that.
Keep on writing! :)
No, Aragorn freed the Army of the dead of there oaths silly girl. Didn’t you know he is the king of gondor?
Wait, why did the dead soldiers have canons? I don’t think cameras had been invented back then.
// sarcasm off
She got shot by ghosts? “Oh hey im casper the friendly bullet”
It was pretty boring and didn’t catch my attention.
Well it says she heard a blast and her arm was paralyzed.. maybe she got hit with a paranormal bullet? I dont fucking know.
O_O
@WHO WAS WORST STORY: ROFL.
I’m not really surehow the paralyzed arm ties in unless she had a heart attack or a stroke.
@Mr. Welldone seriously, your nonsensical riddle talk is by far more annoying than a crappy pasta on this site. How about instead of hinting at such vague clues that prove little to no help, you tell us so we\’ll actually get the story? I mean after all you seem to know the answer or are you just bullshitting your way through this?
worse could have happened, her husband told her not to look, but noooo, bitch cant listen
I don’t give a damn about your arm, get back to your work, woman.
Waaaait a second…
Why would horses give a shit about the war? They are dead, they dont care about reinforcing no southern hicks. They just wanna eat apples.
THEN WHO WAS REPLACEMENT LAUNDRESS!?
OMG I THINK I GET IT! she was watchin the army of the dead so it made her arms dead!! right?
In Soviet Russia, abyss watches YOU!!
“I is no can do teh laundry no more, k?”
“lol, y is you no can do dat?”
“kk, i was watch ghost an dey make me arms no moar work!”
“LOL! STUPID STORY!”
Hello, thar!
It’s-a me, Friedrich.
Actually I’m german and teh original quote is “Wer mit Ungeheuern kämpft, mag zusehn, dass er nicht dabei zum Ungeheuer wird. Und wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein.”.
So feel free to fuck up my wisdom with your underprivileged translations.
kthxbai
IT GOTS PARARARARARAALIZED FROM BEATING ME OFF
LOL I think that this one was supposed to be a joke.
That’s what those sons of bitches confederates get.
this reminds me of an episode of twilight zone…except she gave water to the soldiers, i forgot who told her that they were dead…but she saw her husband amongst them…and then he said that she was dead too [sick with something] so then she followed him into the fog…i love twilight zone
Its a good story but i dont get the ending.
I’ve tryed reading between the lines for the ending to make sence and the only way that it would make sence is if she wakes up from this after having a stroke and can’t move her arm.
God damn I can’t seem to get this. I like it though until it gets to the end.
i thought they gave her a heart attack and she died *lame*
maybe she was a nigra and a ghost shot at her
i think she pretended to be paralyzed so she wouldnt have to do the laundry anymore.
yes, very lazy.
ITS CUZ DEM NIGGRAS ATE HER ARM! DAY TOUT IT WAS WATERMELLONNS
maybe fucking with the ghosts does something
and her husband person knew about that
thats why he was like
you stay in bed like you told woman!
Comment 11 makes me giggle. That was one of my favorite Pratchett books.
“I quitting washing.”
“What? Why, you’re a great washer.”
“I saw something paranormal, and I haven’t been able to move my arm since.”
“LOL SUCK IT UP BITCH.”
@Cara– It was probably the ghosts’ way of warning her not to delve into their business again. Seeing as she is a laundress, half of her work power is now gone (thus her “never [doing] a full days washing since”).
Moral of the story:
Women should stay in the kitchen.
You know, the sons of Confederate veterans still march in parades around February. Just sayin’.
well when you think about it, the abyss might be able to do stuff when it sees you without having to get up close to you–hence, the army could be the abyss, none of them went up close to her. so yeah…
Actually, I think it was in German and those are all valid translations.
Some people have their arms paralyzed before a heart attack
The Abyss looking into you isnt the same as the Abyss getting off its lazy but and paralyzing the poor girl.
“When you look into the Abyss, the Abyss isnt supposed to wave back at you”
-Terry Pratchet’s Thief of Time.
Actually, I think the quote was “When you stare into an abyss, the abyss stares back.”
Hello.
There was one among you. One Mr. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietszche. He had a way with his words.
A beautiful, curious way. It is possible that he understood. Perhaps his words will help this audience of friendly readers understand the plight of our dear laundress.
“When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.”
Silly Welldone, go back to watching me and gritting your teeth.
Needs to do more laundry and make more damn sammiches.
Lazy bitch
Ed honey you’re supposed to be dead. And I can call Shane he should be there too…
Damn! You ruined the surprise.
Maybe she was paralyzed in an unrelated incident, and the author wanted to confuse readers…
What a douche.
I dunno, maybe back in the day they had a lack of nutrition that could cause paralisis? Doesn’t really explain why watching the army caused it though…
Seems to be like she got shot in the arm by a ghost bullet.. or something.
@Cara – Yeah. I didn’t get that part either. Oh well…
that doesnt make much sense, why did her arm get paralized?
Back then if a soldier was shot in the arm or leg the common treatment was to amputate the arm or leg because when a bullet hits bone it would shatter the bone so the doctors could only amputate the limb.
But most men died from infections afterwards.
So her arm was amputated.