I know, little one. I know. You long to hunt, to kill. You hunger for hot blood and torn flesh. I know how long it’s been. But hush just a little longer, my child.
Yes, baby, I can see that he doesn’t know we’re here. But you still need to be quiet for a bit. It’s all about self-control, sweetling. You have to be able to control yourself. You’ve got to learn some restraint.
I know how delicious he smells, dear. I know.
Shhhh, flower, he hears you. Look. See how he turns from his screen? I know he’s not looking at us, baby. But he’s sensing you all the same. Humans can do that, if you don’t move with care. Mostly they’ll ignore the sensation, or dismiss it as paranoia, but you have to be still.
There, look. He’s settled again. So much easier this way.
No, little one, it wouldn’t be more fun to hunt him down. Remember the last time I let you do that? The girl almost got away. I was cleaning up for hours after that one. No, it’s much better to wait for the dark, wait for their guard to drop, and then …
Don’t fret, sweet pea. Your brothers and sisters were just like you, at the start. You’ll get better. More controlled. You just need more practice. That’s why Mother’s here, to help you learn.
See how his eyelids droop? Not long now.
There we go. He’s shut the box down.
Lights off. Always wait for lights off, baby. It’s much more fun in the dark.
Just listen to him breathe …
Oh, little one, I won’t make you wait anymore. Go on. Have your fun.
We’ll try again with the next one.
Credit To – Graille
Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.
This is a fun short story, beautifully written and I love it :)
So I did a narration, let me know if it’s good. I tried my best.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KceGs8oG8mw
Eh it didn’t work for me no build up or twist but i see potential.
I like it but it is a little hard to follow
Yum
Dear Graille, I had way too much fun with this short little creepypasta so I made it into a reading! Let me know if you think it’s bad or if you want me to take it down, thank you :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7zUJqDaKxs
make it an actual thing instead of just a pasta. the lack of context throws the whole thing off, which is a shame, because it is incredibly written.
I think they are ninjas.
love the last couple of lines
You should have made the story include female listeners. Because if you’re a she, and read that the thing is going for a he, it ruins a bit of the scariness. But if you’re a guy, it makes the thing more believable.
Ummmmm no not at all. The squidward suicide thing scared me even though he killed himself so what you’re saying is highly irrelevant.
Was it a mosquito?
yes…yes it was…
I like the simplicity of this. It is refreshing, and I think it works pretty well for this. I am a little disappointed that it is so straightforward, but that matches the tone of this piece. Personally, I found the “dear,” “sweet,” “little one,” etc. refrain to be a bit heavy handed. It became repetitive, but not in a way that served the overall narrative well. I also think a bit more detail about the Mother and Daughter (Son?) would be really beneficial, such as how/why they kill, what they are (human or otherwise), and maybe one or two unique characteristics so that it stands apart from similar fare. As is, it is a somewhat generic stalking story. But, it is paced really well, and it is made all the more eerie to me by its simplicity. I also like the one-sided conversation style pieces (when done well), and I think this used it wisely to create clear characters and tone throughout. It was a short and sweet morning read, so I thank you for that. Happy writing!
I definitely agree with the first person who commented on this. The concept is really intriguing and one I feel you constructed quite well. A little more context would have made this a real winner in my books. Keep up the good work~
All I can think of reading this is a mother mosquito talking to baby mosquito…
That is amazing. I applaud you sir or madam.
Lol
This reminded me of the Twilight Saga.
That’s the same as me, it was like a vampire talking to a newborn!
Although I didn’t find this scariest in the least, the concept was interesting. I actually really enjoyed it. I’m just hoping that it can be fleshed out a bit more. Very intriguing though.
I see what you were trying to do. I love your concept. I really love it, actually. However, it does feel very familiar. A little more detail would be nice, but I still love it. Keep it up!