You were excited for this day. You should be after all, you’ve been working hard. You deserve to have some fun. For tonight, you planned a movie night with a couple of old friends. Horror movies, as was customary since your younger days. You all watched with wide eyes and shaking hands, while cracking jokes and denying feeling any fear. Nobody wants to be the wimp, right?
It was around 4 AM when the last movie stopped, and everyone headed home, leaving you all alone. You jumped at the creaks and moans which seemed much more noticeable after the night of ghosts and gore. Eventually, you decided to go to bed, but not before one last trip to the bathroom.
The walk seemed long and daunting, as it always does after a night of scares. You kept looking back, checking for something lurking in the shadows. You knew you were acting ridiculous, but the feelings seemed to linger. Not even sleep would calm your mind. You tossed, turned, and mumbled all throughout the night. No sense in denying it, I know you did.
I saw you.
Credit To: Derek
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Short but sweet
Its short, creepy, and I really enjoy it!!!!
Chills. :)
Creepy as hell
As simple as that was, I was not expecting that. Touché. Short and sweet. You have to love a stalker story. It is the realistic ones that really get to you.
Put on a good show for your watcher! ;)
I like it! :) I wish it was longer though. This sounds like a begining of a long sleepless night story! :D
Note that all bad comments r hated and all good comments r liked or at least most of them
Yeah, it is creepy knowing that someone saw you going to the bathroom.
T-T
I’m sorry could you explain please? :/
I guess it’s just lacking “Signed: your father” at the end to become even less creepy than it already is. ^_^;
STALKER
I know you saw me dad. And its bad enough when you tell me about it at the breakfast table the next morning. When you start making up a “creepy” pasta about it, it just looks lame. I know youve had some spare time since mom died, but seriously, get a fucking hobby, and stop spying on me
nice!
4/10 good but now good enough
Wow that was awful, you give creePypasta a bad name. Don’t quit your day job.
I actually liked it. I didn’t think it was memorable enough to get such strong responses though. It’s simple. It’s classic.
THIS.
Horrible
i think this should be on the crappypasta
I actually thoroughly enjoyed this story. I expected it to be a long, murderous creepy gore filled story… it sort of catches you off guard and it’s pretty cool. Definitely not what I expected to happen, and my eyes widened when I realized that was the end.
Chenmo –
People, if you’re going to call plagiarism, please supply proof. Otherwise, you will be written off as a troll/QQer.
its a fantastic concept if you would’ve come up with it nicely stolen from another writer
no offence but kinda STUPID.
Whoa, creepy. I loved it! x3
saw what??
Me Likey. I hate wasting a 1/2 hour on a pastanovel only to be jipped at the end but this was short, sweet, and all the creepier for being easy to relate to. When I have this feeling I come back from that late-night last bathroom break expecting to see a shadow outside my front door (but don’t say you know, you’ve seen me).
O.O woah. Very nice pasta with an unexpected twist. I thought this would be just another “Guy has scarathon>friends leave>guy alone>guy scared>guy gets eaten by monster from film.” pasta. BUT IT WASN’T! Good job. Freakiest part is, my friends and I have a party like this once every couple of weeks o.o
I found it stranger that my name was being credited. No, not Slenderman, Derek is actually my name.
See I knew it wasn’t Gerald, my name is actually Pikachu!
didnt have me looking over my shoulder like some people but i liked it. its very relatable for the vast majority to be quite paranoid after scary movies. and you basically said “what if there’s a reason?” in my opinion quite good despite being short
short, sweet, to the point. with a creepy ending that lingers. sweet pasta.
I really like this, nice and short, while very meaningful and true. Except I do that every night >.>
It actually made me look over my shoulder once.
Or twice. -.-”
Gotta put forth more effort then that mi amigo :( All the while something pretty solid
Then who was PHONE!?!?
i thought the intention wasn’t for it to be scary, more of a creepy twist at the end. the way it was written was interesting! i had to re-read it to understand the twist.. it was clever
the big mistake was that you start telling the story like if at the end there was something more scary, but in the end you make a stupid intent to make yourself like a gost, serial killer, or a monster searching a prey, to bad
Agree with Sam. Good. Really good ending.
i liked it. nice job.
nice job.
it really got me looking over my shoulder… good job
Some of the criticism on this story is much too harsh. I myself thought this story was actually a pretty good read. We can all relate to being a bit squeamish after watching horror films, and the last sentence really gives one the feeling that their fears are with valid reason. The twist ending gave me the chills. Isn’t that what stories on this website are supposed to do? A Pasta doesn’t have to be very long to be effective, it just has to be written well. I fell like this one accomplishes just that. Well done.
Sorry but that was a total fail. You didn’t even TRY to make that scary.
I wonder if the people doing the criticizing have actually written anything. Doubtful.
I just got Shyamalan’d
Wow, what a twist
e_e
very very bad. how could you even click the submit button?
I love this :)
I agree with anon. STUPID.
wow. lame.
Please open your mind and your eyes.
I liked it:3
that was awful you have to do better than that
The standards of the modern society are ridiculous. You can eat a bag of dicks.
stupid
its a short great pasta ok? why do you think its dumb, please elaborate (Warning, I may never ever ever see your reply :( sorry)
Short and sweet, a perfect story to start off a night of reading!!! Creepy.