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Mirror



Estimated reading time — 4 minutes

As long as can I remember, I’ve had that mirror in my room. It was long and spanned over almost half the wall. Just a plain, simple mirror. My parents had told me it was there since we had moved in and thought it was certainly fitting for a girl like myself and thus, never thought to take it down.

I never thought much of it either. I would fix my hair, do my make up in front of it every morning and race out the door, never to give it a second thought. That is until I decided that I needed to have a change of pace, by renovating my room a little.

I asked my parents to have the mirror moved. Agreeing, we had some men come around and pry the old mirror off the wall without chipping or damaging it and had it propped on the wall of my walk-in wardrobe, in which it just barely fit.

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Satisfied after the change I went about covering the wall with posters and postcards. Now that the faint outline of where the mirror had once resided was hidden. The mirror was never thought of again.

Till one night.

It was probably about a week after I had moved the mirror. My parents were away on a business trip and me and my two younger siblings had the house to ourselves. The day had gone well enough and I had put the two to sleep.

I lay in my bed,fast asleep. I wasn’t the type to be woken easily however a feeling of unease washed over me as I slept. I found myself waking up in the middle of the night bathed in cold sweat. Breathing raspy breaths into the emptiness of my bedroom. The source of such a state was unknown. I didn’t feel as if I had had a nightmare, nor was I feeling sick. But the pit of my stomach churned, as if warning me of something.

I pushed the feeling aside, hoping it would go away. It was about one o’clock in the morning and all as deathly quiet. I could hear my own breathing which I tried to steady, attempting fall back into my usual slumber. However in the darkness I heard an ever so quiet tap. A tap, like something knocking on glass.

Tap-tap.

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I looked at the window, nothing was stirring the bushes outside my bedroom that could cause such a sound. So I turned back to face the wall.

Perhaps it was just my imagination, or maybe even mice, since the silence was so deafening that I could hear a pin drop.

Then I heard the sound again.

Tap tap. Tap tap.

Four taps, loud and clear, cut through the silence.
I paused, holding my breath, trying to listen for the source of the sound.

Nothing.

I held my breath for what felt like eternity,yet the tapping had ceased.

Exhausted, I convinced myself that it was lack of sleep that was causing me to over think things and so I shut my eyes, and tried to sleep once again.

Tap tap. Tap tap. Tap tap.

My eyes flew open as the tapping bored through the silence once again. I lay still, hoping it would cease as before.

However the rhythmic tapping continued gaining speed, faster and faster, faster and faster until it was was irritating as it was frightening.

Now I was wide awake and knowing my siblings it was probably them playing some sick joke on me. Fed up I bolted upright, turned on the nightlight and shouted in to the space that was my room.

“QUIT IT!!”

The tapping stopped and just as I was about to turn off my nightlight it resumed again, the tapping escalating to a banging sound.

I got up, profusely annoyed and irritated and searched for the source of the sound.

It came from my wardrobe.

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I never doubted once that my siblings wouldn’t hide in there, waiting for me to freak out. Stomping up to the wardrobe I flung the door open in a rage.

There was no sign of my siblings.

No one.

The pounding had stopped.

However there was a red hand print, dribbling down the face of the mirror. Fresh, as if only made seconds ago.
I walked up to the mirror, reaching out to touch the stain. Only to be greeted by a loud bang.

My heart skipped a beat at the sight.

A creature, what I could make out from the dim illumination of my night light, with a decaying hand and gnarled fingers resumed its banging against the glass in a attempt to break the barrier separating it and myself. It’s somewhat human resemblance made it all the more terrifying.

It’s jaw was unhinged and it’s head snapped back in some grotesque angle. It’s eye sockets dribbling with blood as if tears. Thin straggly bits of hair wound out of it’s rotting flesh of a skull.

It stared at me, sending chills down my spine, continuing to beat at the glass with more strength on each impact.
My eyes were transfixed, I couldn’t move. It’s rasping breaths and gaping sockets locked in on me. So hungry. So desperate.

The banging was so intense that the mirror began to shake and suddenly dipped forwards.

A loud crash as the mirror shattered into a million pieces on the hard wooden floor. The spell of fear was broken and I regained control of my body.

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All I can say that the sound that came after I cannot describe. A scream,a cry, a wail, that made my heart leap out of my mouth as I threw the bedroom door open and sprinted up the corridor, hurling myself into the bathroom and locking the door.

I shivered in the dark waiting for the sound of a body, sliding against broken glass. Waiting for it to come get me. Waiting for the long nails to scrape against the door.

Holding back sobs I curled up into a ball against the wall, praying.

It had probably been about an hour, which to me, seemed like days. All I could hear was silence. Finally I felt my heartbeat returning to normal and my breaths pacing out slowly.

I waited till I felt confident enough to stand and tiptoed past the bath and the sink mirror and the toilet over to the door.

Slowly,I twisted the knob.

But it didn’t open.

I felt a certain dread fill me as I suddenly remembered that the bathroom door lock was broken.

Retreating, I reasoned that it wasn’t as bad as being with the smashed mirror or that creature that resided in it.

Relived I lay my back down on the cool tiles, getting comfortable for the rest of the night. Until I heard a sound. Not even a meter away from me.

Tap tap.

Credit To – leo22334455

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32 thoughts on “Mirror”

  1. I felt that there could have been alot done to this at the end instead of the simplicity of it. The writer could have flipped the entire story in which the thing in the mirror was really her trying to get out from the bathroom.

  2. Very cliche, and isn’t really creepy. I don’t see what people find so appealing about it. It’s full of gramatical errors, and fails to explain what it is. There’s no history behind it, which is essential for a mirror pasta to be good. And I know some people are going to ay “Well, lots of pastas don’t explain the history of the creature.” You’re right, but mirror pastas NEED them. Other pastas can still be great as long as they compensate for the lack of history. “He Comes”, for example, has no explanation whatsoever for Zalgo. As far as I can pick out, Zalgo doesn’t even appear in the pasta himself. But the detail and plot make it a very good pasta indeed. That just about wraps up ,y unintended lecture.

  3. While I think the general story line is okay, there were a lot of spelling and grammatical errors. They distracted me from being able to sink into the story.

  4. There is no indication that the mirror from later on would have caused this to happen. it sounds to me that the mirror was just a main point in the story for no reason. also, if it made such a loud noise, it would have woken, i dont know maybe the siblings or the parents….

  5. Not too shabby. I liked some of the style but short sentence structure is more for a fast paced type of story. The mirror idea is indeed cliché, but things that are cliché are cliché for a reason: theyre cool fun ideas that people cant get enough of. This one was ok. Many confusing or downright illogical plot points. It seemed the creature was trying to escape the mirror to get the protagonist, but when it broke the mirror it wasn’t free? And it just followed her to the bathroom mirror? But what good would breaking that mirror do if breaking the mirror doesn’t allow it to escape? Why did it wait for the mirror to be moved to the wardrobe? The proofreading could be better, but I feel like you at least tried, and just didn’t have the grammatical knowledge to spot all the mistakes, so kudos there, (if im right). Overall I applaud your effort. 6/10 There is much potential here, you just need to think out the actions of your characters more. Keep reading and writing!

  6. Very good! I enjoyed this so much! Sent shivers down my spine!Please write more! I’d love to see more of your work! Like i said AMAZING! Thats it! Bye and Thanks!

  7. This was not a bad take on an old theme, but I’m also not sure it added much to extant pastas on the subject. I think your writing was pretty good throughout, though maybe one last proofread to get rid of some typos (relived for relieved at the end), and maybe a little more attention to sentence variety. Technically, I like the way you write and convey the story. My one main critique with that is the one line that says the mirror was never thought of again…until a week later. It was just inconsistent.

    I like the thought processes of the narrator throughout, the way she justifies and rationalizes the sounds throughout. The creature description was not super original, nor was the bloody hand print, but it worked and was integrated well into the story. one question I have is how this creature plans to get out of the mirror? When she touched the hand print, I expected her to get grabbed by the thing, but that didn’t happen, which was refreshing. I also liked how it followed her. I was not suspecting that, since the whole build up had been about this one unique mirror and it was now broken, so that was an interesting turn, though it does move more towards the classic mirror-world style pastas as opposed to a haunted/possessed item.

    Overall, I’d say it was a solid, enjoyable story even if it was not genre defining. Thanks for a fun Wednesday morning read!

    Happy writing!

    1. Thanks for leaving such detailed feedback! To be honest this is the first time I’ve ever written a CP and to have mine accepted on my first go is a real honor for me! Its interesting to see my flaws and faults, particularly punctuation and grammar. Thanks for commenting and I’m glad you enjoyed it!

  8. Hopefully this is the first comment,but, if not, meh, doesn’t matter.

    Anyway, there were some minor punctuation errors, and a few grammatical errors, and the ending was kind of predictable,
    overall, this is a well cooked pasta, but could have used some more sauce and noodles.

    -Herobrine

    Always watching…

  9. This error has some story in it. Oh, sorry, this story is full of errors, so full I could barely finish it, especially when it started with “it’s jaw” “it’s head”… For grammar’s sake, “it’s” means “it is/was”, it must have been “its jaw/head/whatever”.
    I also don’t get why this creature should put so much effort in coming out of the mirror and then do nothing (except try, later, to come out of another mirror). It also seems that the mirror itself is not the cause of the problem (it could have come from any mirror, apparently) so the whole first part concerning how the mirror was already there and why it was moved it’s a bit pointless, the mirror could have been in the closet from the start and nothing would have changed.

  10. Good story. The antagonist though was too cliche and just apppeared. Not enough build up in the story either. Good detail and imagination though. 6/10

  11. Alfred Frederick Dinglebottom

    This was quite creepy. I’m not too keen on the way it’s been formatted. It’s better than a wall of text but I still prefer to see longer paragraphs. I think you’d benefit from a thesaurus. There were occasions where this was let down by a possible limited vocabulary or you just couldn’t think of different words at the time of writing.

    Overall 6/10, good effort.

  12. What about the siblings? And what was it knocking on? The bathroom mirror or the bathroom door? And also why did the creature start acting like a dick once the mirror was moved and not before? Was it mad it got moved? Or was the mirror being attached to the wall keeping the creature at bay? And if the creature is such a puss that it can’t break glass without knocking it over, (which may explain why it never tried anything while te mirror was attached to the wall, but I doubt it) what would lead you to believe that it could get thru a wooden door or a mirror that is indeed attached to a wall? Therefor the protagonist is in no danger, other than getting in trouble for letting her siblings get slaughtered

  13. Really cliche, mirror pastas have been done to death. This one isn’t even scary, nor creepy. The ending felt unnecessary and out of place. The writing was average. Just not a very good pasta to me. 4/10

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