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Lazy Saturday Night

Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

Here I lay, all snuggled up in bed, warm and satisfied under the soft silk covers, watching some stupid documentary on TV I’d never heard of. I’d turn it over, but the gallon tub of cookie dough ice cream wouldn’t let me use my hands for anything other than shovelling the frozen treat into my mouth. Nights like these are rare, it isn’t often that everyone’s out of the house but me, so I make sure to savour them, in fact, I wasn’t expecting anyone back till the morning. That’s what made the sound of the door opening downstairs so alarming.

Panic hits me like a steam train, I silently leap out from under the covers, spilling the ice cream all over the pristine white carpet on the floor, and creak open the wardrobe next to the bed. I hear footsteps, heavy and indiscreet, like they want me to know they’re here. I pant, and pick up the spoon I had just been using to enjoy a relaxing night. The footsteps get louder, I force myself into the miniscule space remaining in the wardrobe, and close the door, just as the stranger opens the bedroom door, not sparing any seconds for silence.
I peer through the gap, his face looks familiar, but I can’t place my finger on where I know him from. He spots the spilled ice cream, and darts his head across the wide expanse of the bedroom.
“Hello?” he calls, not sounding vicious, but I’ve made that mistake before. Never, under any circumstances, assume friendliness from a voice.

He looks under the bed. Oh crap, he’s looking for someone. I hold back a whimper, and start bending the bowl of the spoon back and forth, hoping to snap it off and create some way of defending myself. It snaps, but it creates a metallic click, the man turns his head around, and makes his way to the wardrobe, I’m shaking now. Please don’t open it, please don’t open it, please don’t open it!
The door swings open, and he sees me, we scream simultaneously in fear and surprise. Without hesitation, I leap onto the man, and start digging into whatever stretch of flesh I can with the sharp edge of the spoon handle, he screeches in clear pain, but I won’t stop, I hammer the handle deep into his chest and neck, over and over, till he becomes motionless. I’ve killed him.


I cry in disgust, and sprint downstairs and away from the house, I charge down the road until I feel like I’m far enough away. I sit down for a moment, and exhale heavily before regaining my composure. Pulling out my phone, I open Twitter and search #party, hopefully this time, I’ll find a household that isn’t lying when they say they’ll be out all night.


Credit To – Mycool of The Fear Collective

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13 thoughts on “Lazy Saturday Night”

  1. Millennium Falcon

    Short but nice little story… And what a way to reveal the twist ending – never thought that the “baddie” was actually the author himself (I thought the guy calling “Hello” was the intruder)!


  2. i forgot my usual username

    The ending occured to me right away when they both screamed because I’ve been wanting to write something based on the same idea and submit it, and I wanted to use the screaming episode as the twist reveal. But as somebody else said, the reader mostly thinks it would end up someone the narrator knows. However you’ve skillfully manipulated the earlier paragraphs and although I have been thinking about ways to keep the twist hidden until the very end, none of the means you used revealed anything too soon, which deserves a hat off. Even when he opens Twitter at the end, the more likely guess a reader would make was that the narrator just murdered a friend, rather than being the intruder himself. That was a great way of throwing off us readers. Bravo!
    (I wrote this in a hurry so hope it makes sense. Bottom line is I really like this story and the work done on making the plot twist really discreet, revealing it at the very last 15 words.)

    1. It’s not really scary, it’s more psychological, but basically the guy that came in was the owner of the house who was out at a party, and the protagonist is the actual intruder.. The protagonist had looked on twitter at the party section for people who would be gone all night at a party, and stay in their house. It’s mainly the surprise ending; you expect him to have accidentally killed someone he knew, but instead he was a guy who had broken in to this guy’s house and since he had seen the owner of the house on Twitter, that’s why he looked familiar. Hope this makes sense?

  3. I liked it, though the ending became a little predictable by the next to last paragraph. 9/10, fun premise!

  4. Ya got me! Short and sweet, creepy and with a twist. I’ll forever remember this Mycool creepypasta offering when I shovel MY cookie dough ice cream into my mouth while lounging in bed. Would that I could write so skillfully.

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