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Knock, Knock



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

Summer. For someone living in a tropical country, it means unbearable heat and humidity, even at night.

I was on vacation and staying at my uncle’s house. His house is situated in a low hill along the border of the town. They are not really isolated as they got neighbors along the way going to the top of the hill.

It was my fifth day staying there and my usual habit after dinner is to go outside in the front yard and smoke. It is much cooler there, every now and then a small breeze will come relieving me from the irritating heat.

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From where I stand, you can see the other side of the hill dotted with white things with crosses. Yes, those are graves and that part of the hill is a cemetery. Other people might get scared or uneasy being outside at night and in a full view of a cemetery a stone’s throw away but I’m not. I have gotten used to it and it’s not really that unsettling as the first night I was there.

So there I was smoking and halfway through my cigarette, I saw the front door opened!

You might think I got scared by then but I was not. I just stood there calmly, looking at the open door and after a few seconds it closed. I didn’t paid much attention to what happened and go on smoking.

A minute passed by and then the door opened again and closed. Still unnerved by that second instance, I finished my cigarette and went inside the house.

On the hallway, I saw my uncle’s maid sweeping the floor. I approached her and asked,

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“Did you just opened the door a while ago?”

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“Yes.” she replied.

“Why?”, I asked again.

“Someone was knocking, so I opened the door but no one came in. They even knocked twice.”

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I just stood there, looking puzzled at her then we both heard it as someone’s knuckle rapped on the door.

Knock, knock…

Credit To – frank0ys

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28 thoughts on “Knock, Knock”

  1. You had a visitor, and you missed them at the door, so they knocked again. Never good when someone can sum a pasta up that way.

  2. I don’t understand why people would be afraid of graveyards. They are supposed to be peaceful places, are they not?

  3. Working on the errors and making developing the story a bit could greatly improve it. I think you could make it a superb story. You have the outline, now just expound upon it.

  4. I am sorry, but the grammar in this pasta is horrid. Also, it is not creepy; it needed a lot more to it. Maybe you could try having someone edit it for you next time as well as adding additional information to make it scary or creepy.

  5. It was quite… Boring in my opinion. Your grammar and spelling was a bit too much for me to handle. Well, it had no real plot. Basically I saw smoking, smoking, smoking knock knock. Nothing too fearful for me. The ending could have been better if the maid wasn’t in it. One last thing was that it didn’t have a lot of effort and most certainly didn’t have a good way of expression. 4.5/10

  6. This is alright, but could be better. Just a few things I really want to point out.
    “Other people might get scared or uneasy being outside at night and in a full view of a cemetery a stone’s throw away but I’m not.” This..this is a no. The character, although it maybe wasn’t your point, seems like he’s bragging about being unafraid. That was one of my major turn-offs. Say something simple. Maybe like it didn’t bother the character as much as it should have.
    Also “So there I was smoking and halfway through my cigarette, I saw the front door opened!” Is a double no. You should have built this up, and you should have gotten rid of that exclamation. Ew. No exclamations.
    Other than that, the story was alright. Just remember to take all critisism into consideration and don’t stop writing.

  7. Don’t let the negative comments get you down. I actually enjoyed the image of you outside looking across at the cemetery hill. I think the story would work nicely if you tied the knocking on the door to the cemetery itself. Just an idea, but how about the narrator finds a gravestone there while walking one day with an epitaph which reads:

    “Twice I’ll knock on your door,
    Don’t hide and say you’re not there,
    A final knock once more,
    And from the dark my hands shall appear.”

    Then you can build some tension to the knock on the door and take it from there. Just an idea. Also, there is no shame in running your story by someone before posting, I do it, we all do. If you can get someone to pick up on grammatical issues and tense changes, then you can sort them in a second draft.

    Don’t give up, and keep writing :)

  8. This seems like if it happened in real life it might be creepy but reading it here didn’t do much for me. Imagining it in real life though, probably crap my pants, cause i’m chicken chit, lol

  9. Horrid story. Horrid plot. Horrid info. I’m sorry, first of all i would like to know how this pasta even got to the creepy pasta league and not bumped down to crappy pasta. Second this story is bland tasteless, and I was even more frightened by how bad the story was compared to the writing.

    I will always dread the day I have ran into your pasta. I do not want another encounter with such a low caliber piece of CRAP on a website of this reputation again. And this goes for the rest of you.

    And this shouldn’t even be creepy ever heard of ding-dong ditches. Get real man, this is http://www.creepypasta.com emphasis on creepy. Good day to you sir. 0.5/10 and the .5 is for trying.

    1. Instead of just blatantly spitting in the author’s face you actually provide a constructive post? I’ll admit that it wasn’t the greatest read, but certainly better than others I’ve read. You must consider that everyone starts somewhere. This is probably the author’s first pasta. Have you ever written before? It takes time to get a grip on the genre and feel of what you’re writing about, and you may even discover that you just can’t write in said genre. So, instead of straight up attacking people, why don’t you at least give some feedback that the author and other authors can use to better themselves? The admin chooses what goes on this site, not you. He obviously thought it was worthy to be on the main site, so that’s that.

      On topic, this is a very basic concept for a creepy story. As another poster has said, it has the bones but not the meat. My suggestion is that you take the core idea of your pasta and expand upon it. Why, and what, is knocking on the door? What possible reason could cause this? Who are the two unnamed characters? Why do we care about them? Make your pasta longer and add a lot more detail. Make sure everything adds up and doesn’t happen for no apparent reason, and think about what you can do to make the setting and situation more “creepy.” If you can come up with more ideas, I think this will be a good read. Good luck, don’t let the “high and mighty ‘I do not like this and you should feel bad'” people get you down.

      1. I am extremely sorry if I have offended you but this was how I was raised. And this is also not how I usually comment but, I have to admit this pasta drove me to the line. You also have to admit the author should have more foresight to post something like this.
        Again I am sorry for my post. Have a nice day. :3

  10. Nicola Marie Jackson

    I like the idea Hon but there’s no build up and we don’t know enough about the character to care about what’s going to happen to them. It’s got bones, but it needs flesh putting on them. Don’t worry about making it too long, you could easily treble the length (unless you’re Megan Trainer) & it would still be a nice size :-) :-)

  11. Interesting story, but I have a few complaints about it.

    First off, spelling and grammar could be a little better. I understand that English may not be your first language in which case you might want to get someone to proofread for you.

    More importantly, the story didn’t engage me much. The front door opens and I’m supposed to be spooked? Well, I wasn’t. It was clear that you were expecting me to, though, which broke the immersion.

    Finally, and please correct me if I’m wrong on this one, I thought tropical countries usually have only a wet/dry period and not the traditional seasons we know in the north and the south. Again, not sure about this one but it bugged me.

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