Late August, 2005, 8:00 A.M, New Orleans
I woke up to one of the more valuable things I own in my apartment. A crappy alarm clock from a nearby store. I was extremely poor. The apartment wasn’t too nice, I had no TV or a car. I lived alone, so it was easy to keep my place clean at least, even though I was lacking a vacuum. I got ready for work at the Dollar Store near me. I walked there once I got ready, and got there at 8:50 or so, to see it was closed. I wish I had known what was coming. The streets were extra busy that day, and most places were closed. I never bothered to ask anyone why, though I wish I had, because I wouldn’t have had to deal with the monsters…
Come afternoon, I was eating a bland sandwich inside my room, wondering why people seemed to have left. I could hear rain heavily pounding outside, but I was used to that every once and a while. Not very many people were still here, and almost no people at all around where I lived. Around 12:00, I saw in the distance, tons of water gushing around the streets, going wherever it could possibly flow. On my way home I heard people talking about the levees. Did they break?
I immediately went upstairs to the highest point I could, which wasn’t to high. The wind was so strong. The water rose fast.Not to long later, the water was very close, and I had just fallen from the wind. No warnings in the increased speed of it, i just fell into the water before I could realize it.
I immediately went under, a strong current moving me. I closed my eyes, it hurt to have them open with the water forcing me around. I just hoped I didn’t hit anything. Almost every time when my lungs starting aching, begging for air, I’d go above the surface for a few seconds, only to be pushed back down with a huge force again. At one point, I knew I had a little water in my lungs. I had breathed it in on accident. Once when my head had gone up again, I saw a tree coming up close, and fast. I grabbed it without even thinking about it. The wind was unbelievably strong, but I climbed up the sturdy tree best I could. I stood there for what was probably only 5 minutes at the most, but it felt like forever. I saw a house coming towards me. Straight for the tree.
There was a section of the floating house that was broken. It looked tough to do, but I thought I could possibly jump onto it. And I did. I landed, and hurt my hands and knees scraping in the building. I got up, I had made it. I was inside a house. The first thing I noticed was red smeared on the walls. Of course, the first thing I thought of was blood. And it seemed to be. Then I saw bloody, bare-foot prints leading to the downstairs of the house. For clarification, I wasn’t in the houses attic. I decided to follow the bloody trail. Near the bottom of the stairs, the house trembled, making me fall the rest of the way down into a half flooded kitchen. I got up, used to being soaked in the cold, bitter water. The water was the smallest bit above my waist, and I’m 6 feet 2 inches tall.
I saw a fridge, and sloshed my way to it. I was thinking I could stay here and wait it out. I opened the fridge to see that it too had been half filled with water, making most of the food displeasing to even think about eating. So I grabbed what I could from the fridge, and took it upstairs. I had got half a pack of hot dogs, 2 Dr.Peppers, and an unopened pack of pepper jack cheese. On the second trip, I looked in the freezer. The only thing in there was a small tub of peppermint chocolate chip icecream that had little missing from it, though it was melting some due to the loss of electricity.
I took a third trip down to see if there was anything else in the house, just forgetting about the blood. I guess I did when I had fallen. Even putting the food up there, I still hadn’t re-noticed it. I left the kitchen through a doorway the led to the living room, with a hallway immediately to the left of the kitchen doorway. There was nothing much in the living room besides furniture, so I turned to the hallway. I saw some odd, stone white, human like creature with its back to me. I knew it couldn’t have been human though. There were no ear lobes, it was so pale, skinny, and hunched in an extremely weird way. I tried to look past it, careful not to move at all. I saw the floating body of a man who was maybe 30 years old or so in the water. Then the house hit something again, and I fell and instinctively screamed, alerting the being to my presence. I got up as fast as I could and ran back to the stairs, but the water made my retreat very slow. But the creature waded through the water easily, possibly due to its skinny legs. I fell again from trying to go to fast in the water. I got up again, and saw the front of it better than when I was trying to run. It had blood or whatever was red on most of its lower face, had sunken, black eyes, and had no gender. I had gotten up again, and pushed it as hard as I could away from me, and the creature being so skinny and light made that easy. It toppled over in the water easily, but got up easily as well. I was running up the stairs, and noticed the water had rose a few inches, but it didn’t matter much. It had only taken half of the next step.
Once I got the stairs, I looked for a place to hide. I saw a door that most likely led into a room. I took it, and found a closet inside. I didn’t bother closing the door to the room behind me, which was stupid. I opened the closet door, and quietly, but quickly closed it. I didn’t even want to breathe. I heard it running around on the same floor as me. It was faster on land way more than in the water. It came into the room I was in. I held my breath. It stalked around the room. I was sure it’d open the closet, it’s a common hiding place. But I had to remember, this wasn’t human. It wouldn’t know that. I don’t think. I could hear it leave the room, and go back downstairs. I slowly opened the door, breathing heavily. It must have looked under the bed, then left. I think that because there was a blood trail next to the footprints that led from under the bed. I thought that the man was hiding under the bed in this same room, was found, injured enough to lose such a high amount of blood that by the time they got to the water, there was no blood in the man and very little blood on the creatures feet.
I silently went out of the room, and grabbed what contents of the fridge I had brought up here. I got to drink the melted icecream, est some hotdogs, and drank 1 warm, flat Dr.Pepper before I heard sloshing downstairs. I slowly went to check the stairs, and saw two of the creature coming. I just knew that there was no way I could hide again. They creatures acted similar to (feral) ghouls off of fallout (4), but looked nothing like one. They were fast, skinny, and relatively clumsy. I retreated to the edge of the gaping hole in the house that led outside. I saw them both come up, stare at me for half a second, then run towards me. I dodged out of the way at the last second, and saw both of them fall out. My plan worked, so I thought. I stood there, shocked I had actually pulled that off when something grabbed my foot, and pulled me down off of the house. Of course, it was one of the, well, things.
I hit the water hard on my back after a small drop from the house, pulled by a current again. I kept going, and going, until I hit hard on something in the water. I was being pushed against it. It was hard to swim up because I was stuck between whatever I ran into and the unending force of the water. I reached up with my hands, and felt something flat connected to whatever I was stuck against. I pulled myself up and took a deep breath of air. I was on top of some kind of truck, like a large UHaul. I had no idea how it was above the water. Sure, only a little of it was, I couldn’t even see the cab, but still. I looked around. Just water and debris. The truck was stuck against a building. A hotel or something. Water was still rising. I had to get in. But how? There was a window, but I doubt I could smash it with just my body. As if on que, a wooden board floated towards me. I thought that I could use it to break the glass. It was hard, sturdy, and new.
I cracked the glass, but didn’t break through. I was standing on the edge of the truck searching for something hard, but instead I saw many of the weird creatures swimming as if it were abnormal pool. The current had no effect on them. I fell backwards into the glass, breaking it. I was surprised I did, but I’m sure it was because the glass had lost integrity from the cracks. I had cuts all over me, but I didn’t care. I was in a room for guests. I headed to the door quickly and opened it. I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back in to escape, but I needed to get higher and I needed to get away from the murderous creatures.
I found the stair case and went up as high as I could. I couldn’t go into the roof, the door to roof access was locked. I stood by the elevators, they were the only place besides the inaccessible rooms that was away from the long hallway. I watched the staircase. Hours went by, how many I don’t know, my watch fell off in the water. It was a bad one anyways. I could tell the water had risen more in the hotel. Two elevator shafts were stuck open, and one had an elevator pretty far down, and water now covered the top of the elevator. The other elevator was far down as well, but water hadn’t covered it yet. Then I heard a herd of footsteps. My heart sank. It was them. I saw them rise the stairs. Why hadn’t they come earlier? It has been hours, and now they come up? Why?
The gained quickly. I saw what happened to the man. It looked painful. They gained. I could only think of one thing to make sure that didn’t happen to me. I walked over to the elevator, and as they turned the corner, I jumped in the one undisturbed by water, head first. It seemed surprisingly peaceful, and seemed to happen in slow motion. I think I saw 2 or 3 follow after me. I hit the top of the elevator, and was instantly gone. At least I wouldn’t have to see them anymore. They were made for the water. Meant for it. I’ll never see them again, thankfully.
Unless there’s water in hell…
Credit: Nathaniel Boykin
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9 thoughts on “Katrina”
Seems like the protagonist said that he jumped into a house being swept by the flood, then said he moved around the place steadily (in a moving building?), and it changed to a hotel with two elevators?
I don’t get it… 3/10
I’m just confused
alright! I gotta say first and foremost this story had promise, the concept was there for an interesting story… however this is more of a case of too much detail in places where it wasn’t needed and not enough detail where it was needed. You used a description of the creatures as moved like the “Ghouls from Fallout 4” the problem(s) with that is what if the reader never played that game they wont know what a Ghoul is, also the person telling the story said He don’t own a TV therefore I assume he don’t own a console or computer to play such a game…and it in all seriousness was a cast away line you should have instead described the way it moved and not compared the way it moved. then you add details like what he was eating and drinking during a time when these creatures are in the middle of chasing him. I gave it a 3/10 because like I said the story and set up at promise but just the delivery was lackluster and poorly written. my opinion for what it’s worth I just try rewriting this story and try to clearly and in detail write it out and since the main person died at the end write in a past tense, or as if he’s recounting the events that lead to his death while he’s falling in “slow motion”.
oh and I forgot to mention that Fallout 4’s release date was November 10, 2015, and Fallout 3 was released on October 28, 2008…your story takes place in August of 2005. so the continuity of the story is in complete disarray.
What happened to Crappy Pasta? I thought these kind of things went on there first…
You know when you put a video cassette on fast-forward an it sort of glosses over a film’s content at high speeds, complete with that high-pitch whine? That’s what reading this story felt like – whine and everything.
Hey! Eager to read the last part of “Wanna play!” When is it coming out? :)
Should be tonight or tomorrow based on how quickly the last two parts were released. Glad you enjoyed it!
Jesus H. Christ on a tricycle, that was an absolute trainwreck. Easily one of the worst stories I have ever read, either on here OR Crappypasta, and the first 2/10 rating I have ever given.
Horrifically bland, nondescript, sterile, and awkward descriptions, confusing and illogical series of events that left me wondering what the hell was even happening, and inconsistent narrative threads (begins in a manner that suggests that the story is a retelling of events the main character personally experienced, then ends with the main character dying) make this story nearly unreadable.
And seriously, what’s up with the weird focus on weird things? Why spend so much time detailing the exact food that the main character ate out of the fridge? “The monsters moved like Fallout 4 ghouls!” what? Why would you ever put that in your story? I can’t think of a better way to kill all immersion and suspense than to compare your main monster to goofy, easily killable enemy from a game that isn’t even scary.
All things considered, this story is unfortunately garbage. I personally would be happy to see it transferred from here, to good ol’ Crappypasta. I think that’s where it truly belongs.