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Imperfect Transition

Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

I was sitting in the upstairs office of the Museum with a cup of coffee when it happened. It had been a long day, and I’d set the work experience kid the seemingly unfuckupable task of dusting the exhibits- after repeating my warning, of course, that some of them must not be touched or opened. A terrified scream, quickly strangled by a building-shaking thump and an awful rending sound, brought me rushing downstairs.

The mirror room- I knew it. In there, there hung an ancient mirror, about a foot around, made of polished obsidian. Behind the glass walls of its display case, it was harmless- although people amusingly reported seeing the face of an evil hag in it on occasion. Looking at it unprotected was madness, though- certainly for those without my knowledge of the old ways.

I arrived in the mirror room, and a horrible smell hung in the air. On the floor lay half a body- the lower half, still in the clothes I recognised from earlier. The skin had been stretched purple and torn away, and the organs inside that hadn’t been torn free leaked their contents onto the floor. The legs were at the bottom of a maroon spray that started below the wooden case of the mirror, and the hipbone lay almost against the wall.


The case was broken- the wooden sides pushed outwards. Clumps of hair, matted with skin and blood, stuck to the frame of the mirror. Concentrating now, I stepped in front of the black disc, my sandals carefully placed either side of the bile-sprayed limbs and pool of blood on the floor. Looking into the dark reflection of the room, I saw my double once more. In her hand was a pale arm that led down to a broken form, and a trail of darkness. Sure enough, when she lifted the half-corpse into the air, I recognised the shattered and stretched face.


Credited to Ultra.

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81 thoughts on “Imperfect Transition”

  1. Why does everything potentially scary have to be made of obsidian? you people play too much minecraft.

  2. This is only a fraction of a story. There’s a protagonist, an antagonist, a victim, a conflict… But barely the makings of an actual plot, and no resolution at all. It’s like stopping a book at the first chapter and going “eh, that’s good enough.”

    4/10 – Was a little too al dente, and the portion size was too small.

  3. No.
    The most imaginitive thing in here was your description of the body, and that still doesn’t come close to redeeming the rest of it.

  4. That confused the hell out of me. I didn’t even know the narrator was female—wait, or is it the double that’s female? Argh, androgynous narrator is androgynous.

    Plot had potential. OP didn’t maximise that.

  5. I had to read it twice to understand it. But I think with some better writing it could be a decent story. 5/10

  6. Bad writing. I couldn’t even tell what was supposed to be happening at the end. The rest of it was boring and ambiguous.

  7. I really had high hopes for this pasta. I’ve always been a sucker for mirror pastas but this was just dissapointing.

  8. \"the day of all the blood\" pasta has better structure, execution, and compelling language than this piece of garbage.

    ultra, you could\’ve done SO MUCH with this, but chose to do the bare minimum. shame on you, and no pie for you for cooking up this stale excuse for pasta.

  9. Goes for the “short and sweet” approach without being very sweet. I don’t know, it’s just not a very interesting concept. The writing is pretty good, I suppose, but the wording is slightly confusing and has to be re-read once or twice to get the point.


  10. Man in the Mailbox

    Just…. just…. no. Just no.

    That was painful. You used as follows: no explanation(s), vulgarity, abuse of the gore factor, destruction of my precious thoughts of both museums AND mirrors, and much, much more! I don’t think it’s physically impossible to get much worse.

    What… what was THAT?? I really wanted to like you. I really did, Ultra. No… this isn’t working. But don’t stop trying! I’ll probably never come back, and you might get better and gag somebody else with your disgusting “family recipe.”

    Straight-up nasty; would not (willing) read again: 0/5.

  11. The events in the story are very confusing, and the imagery itself is somewhat difficult to picture. And don\’t you know anything about pacing? There\’s a lot of pay-off in this one, but almost no build-up!

  12. There was zero tension in this story.

    None. Ever. “I send dude to clean shit, because it’s *supposed* to be easy (see how I just told you he’s going to screw it up?), he screws up (no way!), there’s half of a corpse in the evil magic mirror room. WHOSE BODY IS IT? WHERE’S THE OTHER HALF?”

    Seriously. I just can’t figure it out.

  13. Really good setting but the grammar errors and slight problems with the story kept bringing me back to reality, really good job, but could have been better.

  14. Don\’t forget that the case seems to have been broken from the inside, judging by how it buckled outward — suggesting that the mirror is no longer safe, even when in its case.

  15. Sorry but that was way too rushed. You didn’t even give your reader time to settle in before smacking them in the face with AND THE KID DIED AND THERE WAS BLOOD EVERYWHERE! The concept of the story was decent enough and it could work if it’s fleshed out a bit more, but as it just feels way too rushed.

  16. OOHH! I get it, I read it again, when she lifted up the lower half of the body, her reflection lifted the upper, I assume its like a portal, and the kid got stuck in it.

  17. If the narrator thinks that’s an unfuckupable job I want to see what they consider hard. Seriously! “Go and dust the exhibits. Except the ones you can’t touch or open, which you must memorise now, and if you forget one or suffer from innocent curiosity, an evil mirror person will kill you gruesomely.” Damn, I hope that job pays well.

  18. This pasta was a bit on the bland side.

    The concept is unrefined, and the ending is difficult to comprehend at first, and has no real shock value when it finally breaks.

    While I know that this is mostly up to subjective opinion, I would have to say that the only thing you get points for is your atmosphere building, but you build so little atmosphere it doesn’t matter in the end.


  19. @GK, the new person cleaning the stuff is, surprisingly, par for the course at museums. They let people with no qualifications dust very valuable stuff.

    This story was awful. 2/10

  20. I see the writer tried to make a mysterious pasta, but alas, there’s no tension at all. I find both the beginning and the end just too sudden to pull me into the story. A “but who was corpse?” ending in such a short story didn’t really appeal to me.


  21. TROLOLOLOL: You’ve submitted something better yourself, I take it? No? GET TO, SON.

    I like how the author gives a work experience kid a job involving being around fragile objects unsupervised and can’t see how this could possibly go wrong; even if the objects hadn’t been evil.

  22. …i guess he fucked it up? but more serously this wasnt very good. its basically
    “there’s a creepy mirror. it messes wit people. i sent the new guy to clean iit cuz i dnt wanna. oh great the mirror killed him! oh well! wasnt my fault.”

  23. This sounded like it was written by a little kid trying to be spooky at a Halloween Party. IE Creepy museums and mirrors and blood and guts! Ooh scary! -_- Not only cliche but pretty badly written. The only good thing I can say is it did catch my attention in the first sentence. But it lost it almost immediatly.

    Makes me wonder how stuff like this makes it to the featured page when there are so much better stories on the forum >_>

  24. Has no-one got it?

    The narrator sees the LOWER half of the body in front of the mirror but when he picks up the corpse he sees the corpse’s face because his reflection is holding the TOP half of the body.

    The student has, for one reason or another, sort of started going through some kind of portal or something (the mirror probably) but didn’t get all the way through and was cut in half. Hence the title “Imperfect Transition”.

  25. How was this an imperfect transition?? What was the transition… or you mean imperfect transition of the story? Looks like it.

  26. Are you kidding?

    I come to this damn site once a week and read, and this is the shit you give me? Really?

    In fact, it’s been shit for a whole PAGE now.

    Stop submitting horrid stories. : |

  27. *and then the fourth paragraph made me want to gouge my eyes out
    Sorry I’ve been up a long time, 3rd paragraph was okay, but the fourth bombed.

  28. I have to say, the first two paragraphs drew me in very nicely, and then the third paragraph made me want to gouge my eyes out for reading this. I think this could have been an excellent pasta, but the ending seemed too rushed or not as well thought out. 4/10*
    *bonus point for effort*

  29. Feels like a piece of a bigger story taken and turned into a “complete story” because the writer ran out of steam halfway through. You have an interesting concept there. Don’t rush it. Most stories require significant development and progression to be good. You’re not Richard Matheson, so don’t try to write like him.

    2/10 in my opinion, but I would like to see you write something longer.

  30. It’s not that complicated. She hears a noise in the mirror room where the work experience person was cleaning. Goes to investigate. Sees the LOWER half of the body on the floor. Looks at her evil reflection in the magic mirror and sees it pick up the UPPER half of the work experience kid. Guess the kid was half pulled into the mirror world.

    Not a great story though and not that well written at all. If not for the confusion other people seem to be having it would have said it was stale but as people seem to be having so much difficulty understanding the story, I will say this pasta is mouldy and smelly.

  31. Pretty good. Needs a little bit more detail and background on the mirror and stuff. Great story-line though. 6/10 for effort.

  32. seriously?

    c’mon. no. stop it. just stop writing this half thought out pastas. if you want to write a story, follow this basic flow: Introduction, Build-Up, Resolution.

    Without those, or a clear link between them: SUCKAGE.


    Confusing pasta is confusing. I dunno if the character is a man or a woman, so that’s a mystery factor. I am preferring to think that the character is a wizard who split his/herself into two and planted the other one inside the mirror where it longs for vengeance and so it kills everyone who handles the mirror improperly cause that’s the only thing I can think of x3
    5/10, pasta’s kay.

  34. This was a bit hard to understand, but I did like some parts of it. You did a good job at creating something visual. What happened to the other half of the corpse? Dang, are mirrors scary in Creepypastas. I give this a 6/10. I might want to read this again to understand it.

  35. I love mysterious pastas but this one does not make much sense (even to me). Also, pretty boring, not much build up and not much payoff.

  36. I don\’t really get it. The lead walks up to the mirror, sees themself holding up the corpse of the dead guy.

    So what? He\’s dead.

    Apparently the mirror is mystical in some way, as revealed half-way through the story.

    There\’s no twist or scare, because it\’s known to distort reflections, and the lead seems to be very familiar and expectant of the situation. They aren\’t surprised or scared, and neither should we be for our empathy.

    In other words, even your main character is bored.

  37. Kudos for gratuitious use of the word “unfuckupable” but I feel seriously let down by the last paragraph. I just don’t get it.

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