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I’m Your Problem Now



Estimated reading time — < 1 minute

On any night with a crescent moon, open Winamp or any other music program you might have on your computer that has a shuffle program. Empty your mind and keep clicking the forward button. If you’re rather unlucky a song named “I’m your problem now.mp3” will start playing. For the first minute it will be completely silent.

Close your eyes when the screams start and DO NOT OPEN THEM FOR ANY REASON. Horrible imagery will fill your mind, of corpses and unimaginable evil. This will happen as a full seven minutes of this song’s horrible symphony of screams and sounds continues.

IF you make it through those torturous seven minutes, you will wake up on a bench in a deserted greyhound station. A faceless man at the other end of the station will offer you a cigarette. If you don’t accept it, your eyes will open and the song will be gone and no time will have past. If you choose to accept it, however, this man will divulge to you the secrets of life.

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After you’re done smoking, take the ticket out of his pocket and board the bus coming into the station. You will awake back in your house, and exactly twelve minutes will have passed since you started listening. The problem is that anyone who’s survived the song goes insane from the information they’ve just learned.

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Be warned, should you succeed; through any polished surface–be it mirror, wood, or window–your reflection will always be watching.

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80 thoughts on “I’m Your Problem Now”

  1. Not me ^.^ but if I ever start using and to this thing then I’ll be happy because I love mirrors and me

  2. You guys lol, the reflection part was most likely a reference to some of what knowledge you’ve learned that has supposedly driven people insane.

  3. Nice. It was very vivid and i liked the slender reference. It would be cool if you added a morale or lesson to the story (like dont smoke or music brainwashes people)

  4. One thing that consistently gives me chills is the thought of your reflection not mimicking you while you watch. *shudders* the end got me.

      1. Very doubtful. It’s not impossible the Victor Surge (the guy who made the first slenderman pictures) could have written the story here first, but it’s really unlikely. Slenderman showed up on Something Awful in 2009, so this is more likely to just draw from that same pit of horror located in the bottom of the uncanny valley.

  5. poisoned echoes

    Wait.. I thought it was a faceless cat that you had to draw a face for on the train station or else she won’t visit your town?

  6. blabla shut the fuck up

    See, my problem is…IF YOU DO THIS YOU WILL GO INSANE, BUT IF YOU DONT NOTHING WEILL HAPPEN.

    Yeah. Reason #50,000 I dont like ritual pastas

  7. This pasta was somewhat scary….but it was very similar to The Holders. And the final part just bugs me. I was expecting something like “This cigar is the item 301 of 300. You must never smoke it again, otherwise you’ll get cancer and suffer it for the eternity” or some shit like that.

    @O, that way it makes sense. But actually I would like to know what happens if I open my eyes during hearing the song~

  8. Am I the only person who thought the end was the only good part of this pasta?

    “The problem is that anyone who’s survived the song goes insane from the information they’ve just learned.

    Be warned, should you succeed; through any polished surface–be it mirror, wood, or window–your reflection will always be watching.”

    Don’t any of you get it?
    It means its already happened to you, you’re insane. That’s why you CAN see your reflection watching like that.

  9. Arancaytar: To be fair, this is for an occult ritual. So why would you use a program not made by Microsoft to perform what is likely a Satanic ritual? :P

  10. i.hear.the.drums

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL “I’m your problem now” Mindless Self Indulgence. Hahahahahahahah I’m listening to that tonight.
    I honestly couldn’t take this seriously. xD Ohhhhh MSI<3

  11. Use shuffle.
    Do that all the damn time, even when I used WinAmp years ago. That song never came up.
    You see horrible things! And hear horrible things!
    I do anyway. I have an active imagination and I have post-modern stuff on my playlist.
    You talk to a faceless guy!
    Well hello thar Anon. Fancy meeting you.
    YOUR REFLECTION WATCHES YOU!
    I think I’d be more concerned if I looked over and it wasn’t looking at me.

    Other than the teleportation this isn’t that unusual.

  12. Somebody that uses my computer read this, because I tried it and the MP3 acutally popped up. It was silent for the first minute, then a bunch of screaming. I did as the pasta said just for kicks, but of course nothing happened. I was actually kinda disappointed :(

  13. The “your reflection will be watching part” made me crack up. I’m still giggling. *Giggles*
    But, it was an okay pasta. Needed more of an aftertaste…
    Perhaps, a pinch of…hmm,

  14. Yes, of course. iTunes would stop being gay with music organization and create D:\Documents and Settings\Me\My Documents\My Music\iTunes\iTunes Music\H4XX\Imyourproblemnow.mp3.

    Error: Windows has detected that this is a file.

  15. thank god i dont use the shuffle function on any music program

    also who the hell would accept a cigarrette from rorschach. that asshole has probably judged you to be criminal scum and laced the damn thing with cyanide already.

  16. there’s this super christian kid i know that probably would have a freak ot like this if MSI sowed up on her playlist
    lulz

  17. Ok, let me get this straight – If I don’t take the cigarette, I’ve endured 7 minutes of ‘horrible imagery’ for nothing. And if I do take the cigarette, I get to be driven insane by the secrets of life.
    Hmm. Sounds really worthwhile.

  18. You know, every time some idiot does this, I have to hack that song into their computer, buy some smokes, and drive all the way to that place, and tell that same freaking story. and how am I thanked? Those stupid assholes just steal my ticket home and run away! you humans, thinking you are so cool because you have faces…

  19. somehow one way or another, it seems my reflection is always going to be after my blood. D=/
    mirrors/reflections can be creepy if you catch something outta the corner of your eye or whatever…but…it gets old after awhile doesnt it?

    >.>

  20. “Be warned, should you succeed; through any polished surface–be it mirror, wood, or window–your reflection will always be watching.”

    Did anyone else realize this has nothing to do with anything else in the pasta? I swear, This is at the end of every other creepypasta. It’s lost any fraction of fright value it ever had.

  21. Lasers Pew Pew Pew

    @Anonymous

    The reason plausibility (logical, of course, not common sense) is important is because they’re supposed to make you paranoid. This can only be achieved if there is a chance that the subject matter may actually be real, and so logical plausibilty is important for this.

  22. plausibility?

    And, fourth, and most importantly, IT’S A CREEPYPASTA! IT DOESN’T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE BECAUSE IT’S A PIECE OF FICTION!

  23. >>5

    First, you need to empty your mind.

    Second, you need to be “rather unlucky” which implies that it won’t work for everyone.

    Third, it talks about faceless men, the secrets of life, and you be transported around, so why are you worried about plausibility?

  24. Never trying that… I don’t think I could keep my eyes closed the whole time… I will never smoke…Plus I don’t want my reflection watching me…That would be way too creepy.o_o

  25. How could that work?

    iTunes (what I use), hasn’t got a song like that there, and if you go into the store, the demo’s are only 30 seconds long. And I’ve listened to shuffle on a Crescent Moon night…

  26. this reminds me slightly of those “The Holders” short stories, what with the way you have specific instructions and if you don’t follow them you’ll so insane or some crap.

  27. Daniel O'Briant

    duh your image will be watching, its yoour image and to see it you have to be watching it to really see it!!!

  28. OMFG.. yeah I’m not sleeping tonight.. it happens that I was listening to a song called “I’m your problem now” by Mindless Self Indulgence.. worst of all there’s a glitch in the middle of the song… I almost ran to light because the chills were killing me xD

        1. okay lsn people he isn’t really talking about the ridiculous song by MSI, theres a 7 minute song by an unknown artist that scared 7 shades of shit outta me, i couldn’t get through the first 2 minutes honestly the sounds were too gruesome.

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