The young girl made her way through the thick undergrowth. It was not yet dusk, but the sun would disappear quickly behind the densely-packed trees. There is a sort of amplified silence that resonates through woods. All outside noise is cut off so that the only remaining sound is the woods itself. That’s why the sudden crashing to the side of the girl startled her so much. Animals know the danger of making such noise; this was no animal. She spun around as a man emerged from the foliage. Surprise flashed across his face but was almost instantly replaced with a warm smile.
“Hello, little lady.”
The man’s hands were dirty. He was carrying a shovel. The girl wondered what he was doing out here.
He spoke again. “What’s your name?”
“Goldilocks.”
The man laughed at this. “Well, I guess that makes me Papa Bear.” He smiled widely. “What’s a girl as young as you doing out here all by yourself?”
“Looking for my friend Janie.”
“Well I can help you look for her.” He grabbed hold of her hand. “Where’s little Janie likely to be hiding?”
The girl looked sad. “She’s not hiding. She’s missing. Me and Janie used to play in the woods together. But last week she didn’t come back.”
“The woods can be a dangerous place for a little girl. Don’t worry, though. I’ll take good care of you.” Again he smiled that big smile of his.
The man began to lead the young girl further into the woods. Hand in hand, they walked on until the trees towering above them entirely blocked out the sky. The girl shivered.
“Poor little thing. You’ll catch your death.” They both stopped as the man lay down the shovel. He took off his jacket and helped the girl into it. He gave her shoulders a gentle rub. “Do you want to know a story about these woods? Bad things happen in here. That’s what I heard. There was once a little girl who was walking through here all alone. It had gotten so dark that she couldn’t find her way back home. Luckily for her, she found a nice man in the woods.”
“Lucky for her,” the girl said.
“Lucky for both of them. He was able to take her back to his house – his little gingerbread house – all alone in the woods.”
“That sounds nice,” the girl said, “what happened next?”
“Unfortunately, the girl was naughty. She wasn’t grateful to the man for saving her. She ran off, back into the woods. That night, the little girl died, all alone in the woods. No one ever saw her again.”
“How do you know she died if she was never found?” the girl asked.
The man leant down, drawing his face close to the girl’s. “Someone has to know, don’t they?”
The young girl smiled as she swung the shovel into the side of the man’s head. “Your stories are so good. I think you’ll make a great friend for Janie.”
The girl whistled to herself as she began to dig a hole.
Credit To – Ben H
Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.
LMAO
Wait, so ‘Goldilocks’ killed her? So confused… and then she killed the man?
I like it
That.Was.The.Best.Pasta.Ever.
Awesome! I LOVE the girl. I want to be just like her when I grow up.
Ben, if you still read these comments, I’d love to perform this at my town’s Speech Arts Festival. I would credit you as the author of course. If you would give me permission that would be great.
P.S. How many friends does Janie have now?
My response to this story was…meh. I think it was okay, but I’ve heard a lot more scary, malevolent and gruesome stories. XD I still think it is okay though.
HOLY PLOT TWIST!!!!!!
THIS WOULD MAKE M NIGHT SHYAMALAN JEALOUS!!
I didn’t find it creepy but overall good story, the end surprised me!
9/10
I kinda liked it just because i was going back and forth about who the bad guy/girl was parts made me think it was goldie other papa bear. Now the ending could of better feels a little incomplete. So about a 6/10
EPIC. PLOT. TWIST!!!
What…….. The…. fuck? 0_0
well, i guess the part “looking for my friend janie” should be there for the sake of twisted ending. okay. but i still like the whole story. this is not a typical forced story trying to be creepy. i wish there’s more.
That sir was funny harharhar
bigger twist than Shyamalan
That was very unpredictable
The story kind of ended very abruptly ask where the reader didn’t have time to process what’s happening but I thought it was a good stry overall
Getting real tired if your comments sepia -.-
If I may be so bold, I’d suggest not reading them. The authors seem to be appreciating his/her comments, and I have to say it’s nice to see someone taking the time to give solid critique rather than just “lol this sux kill yourself” or whatever varying level of useless “feedback” other people give.
I like this one. I like the simplicity, the reference to fairy tales, and the twist at the end. However, I do have one simple question. [spoiler]What about Janie? While reading it I got the impression that the man housed Janie, but when “Goldilocks” smacked his brains with the shovel, I got the sense that “Goldilocks” herself had something to do with Janie’s disappearance.[/spoiler]
If I erred on the Spoiler Tags, I apologize.
Hey, I wrote this so I’m happy to explain. Funnily,I think you’re the first person to question Goldilocks’ role in Janie’s disappearance. The man’s story is supposed to be a bit of a red herring, to look as if he killed Janie. I envisioned his story though as a ‘warning’ to Goldilocks. ‘Come with me and do what I say.’ He didn’t kill Janie but he’s certainly not innocent. Goldilocks’ line about making a friend for Janie is indeed an admission of her guilt. She killed Janie and now the man is going to join her.
Some people have interpreted it differently which is fine, I kept it ambiguous for that reason but that’s what I imagined when I wrote it. I’m glad you liked the story!
You know what you make a very good point have you written creepypastas before BEN????
These stories on here, given right credentials, can someone actually take a story and write an actual script without copyright situations
The stories here belong to their own individual authors.
Where can I find the author for this story? I wanna make a screenplay and make it a short film
Please read the FAQ.
Wow…I liked this…like a lot. This was great, I was expecting the man to be a mean rapist/pedophile who killed Janie but wow….Not expecting that. Bravo.
I love these kind of pastas!!
I must say it came as a surprise, not because of the twist so to say, but the things leading up to it. I found myself asking so many questions like; Why was the man so upfront about grabbing her and hoisting her off deeper into the forest, what was he doing there with the shovel, what cause the girl to do this, and how did Janie actually play into the story. I must say that I do not consider this up to par and I think you should revise it and try for re-submission because like most plot twists it does have potential.
I actually find this funny in some way.
7/10
Wait what. *chokesonpasta.
Imagine it was Chuck Norris’ daughter
Not exactly creepy but still it was a nice read. I liked it.
I don’t know what people are talking about twist. I saw that ending coming right off the bat. I say at best the pasta was both under seasoned and cooked.
Ok I’m new was the girl silent Ashly or someone famous? Or just a girl
just a girl brah *facepalms*
This was neither surprising, nor creepy, just plain cheap. -.-‘
That was cute, I liked it :3 it amused me
Feeling ok there buddy?
First! That was a delicious pasta! I did not see the twist at the end coming. DA PEOPLE LIKE DAMN THAT’S A YUMMY PASTA. I’m sorry, I had to…
Wow… that escalated quickly and, FIRST
i did NOT saw that coming
Either did I!
Neither do I!
You guys obviously didn’t notice that I was messing around with Vittoria when I said “Neither do I!”.
Ah, the comic relief in this is witty.
That is a short and sweet lunch special. Tasty!
I found that quite funny :3
lolz bitch slapped with a shovel. didnt see that coming 8/10 didnt like that it was so short
what to say…. good I guess, couldn’t really describe how funny this was. You did a great job misleading the reader like that.
This was so highly predictable and was not creepy or scary at any point.
You’re right. I read that and I thought it was a children’s story. SCARIER STORYS PEOPLE!!!
Y U SO TROLLLLL
maybe the writer simply needs some experience other than imagination…
Hey!
Twistpastas! They’re always a mixed bag, since they either veer over to ‘scary but not surprising’ or ‘shocking but not scary’ and it’s hard to balance the seesaw. I thought this one was a bit to the latter with a dash of creepy implications.
I’m a sucker for the fairytale smorgasbord motif; it immediately sets your expectations:
‘Little girl trots out to the wood, looking for her missing friend, finds the (always creepy) old man. Girl is eaten/killed/maimed in some way.’
The forbidding woods and innocence add to this motif, as does the creepy man’s tale – then the twist. The sting is well executed, as personally I expected gory descriptions of the maimed girl.
The implications are set up well, too. How’d the girl know to kill so nonchalantly? What did the man do to Janie? It’s a meeting between two evils.
That being said, I thought this was a bit lacking in the immediately creepy. There’s little sense of dread, since the man is clearly evil (unlike, say, the blind old man in that WW2 cannibalism creepypasta). Maybe the author could’ve played the ambiguity card more, maybe he could put three evils with the woods as an active player, forcing the two to work together.
All in all, good creepy but had some missing potential. 7.5/10
What in the damn hell…???
Oh lawd !