My name is Omar Sanchez and I’m a 17-year-old high school student living in a small town in rural West Virginia. My life over the last number of years was unextraordinary and until recently I considered myself a normal American teenager. Although I’m an only child, I grew up in a loving household and was given a good start in life by my mom and dad.
We aren’t rich but our family is comfortable enough. I got decent grades at school, played running back on the football team, had a close network of friends and a beautiful girlfriend called Emily. Sure, I was a stroppy teenager prone to occasional mood swings and the usual high-school dramas. I’ve got in trouble a few times but nothing too serious.
All in all, I was a happy kid with a bright future ahead of me as I thought about college and building a life for myself. But after the accident everything changed forever as I was forced to acknowledge that my entire existence is based on a lie.
Once I tell you I was in a car crash you’ll probably imagine a horrific accident that left me broken and crippled. Well, this isn’t the case. In many ways I was very lucky. I was driving home late one Saturday night after attending a party. Thankfully I wasn’t drinking that evening, but I was driving too fast and texting at the same time – clearly, a recipe for disaster.
I lost control along a quiet backroad a few miles from home, my car swerving off the tarmac and straight towards the solid trunk of an ancient tree. I vividly recall that moment of pure terror just before impact as I felt sure my life would end violently and prematurely.
They say your whole life flashes before your eyes in the moment before a near death experience. Well, this was the case for me – except it was someone else’s life I remembered, not my own.
I awoke the next morning in a hospital bed, feeling pain all through my body as I groggily opened my eyes and surveyed my surroundings.
My parents were standing over me, their eyes lighting up as I regained consciousness. I expected them to be mad at me for my careless driving, but instead they were relieved that I’d survived the crash in once piece. I hadn’t escaped totally unscathed however. For some reason my car’s airbag didn’t deploy and so I suffered a head injury, several cracked ribs and a broken leg which would stop me from playing football for the foreseeable future.
This was the last thing on my mind however. As soon as I awoke, I knew something wasn’t right. After the crash I felt like a totally different person and there were images and memories in my head that I couldn’t understand. I’d never been involved in a car crash before in my seventeen years, but the accident brought back a powerful feeling of deja’vu.
And there was more – a muddle of images and experiences in my head which made no sense. I tried to explain what I was going through to my parents but they didn’t understand. How could they? Mom and Dad were concerned however, fearing that I’d suffered some sort of undiscovered brain injury. They insisted on a CT scan, which came back clear.
My physical injuries weren’t life threatening and there was no medical evidence of brain injury, so they sent me home to finish my recovery. But I knew in my heart that I wasn’t okay – far from it. I couldn’t engage with my old life. I was cold with my parents, and when my friends and girlfriend came to visit I barely acknowledged them. I soon became a recluse, locking myself away in my room, my aching brain working overtime as I tried to make sense of the craziness inside of my head.
I can’t tell you how it happened but one day everything clicked – as a flood of memories trapped in a hidden corner of my brain suddenly came spilling out. Even then I would have assumed this was all a paranoid delusion prompted by the trauma of the accident, but then I started looking up dates and names online and was astonished to find proof.
You see, I was not always a teenage high-school student from West Virgina. I have lived another life as another man, growing up in a different country far from here. I’ve been reincarnated somehow, given a second chance as a new person in a new body. It seems I was meant to have no memory of my previous existence, but my accident and head injury must have awoken memories that were meant to be forgotten.
But Pandora’s Box is open now and I can’t go back to my previous blissful ignorance. I also can’t tell anyone about what I remember – not my parents, my girlfriend or any of my friends or acquaintances. Instead, I’ve decided to share my story here, in the hope that those with knowledge of the supernatural and afterlife will understand and maybe even have some sympathy for my predicament.
Perhaps not though. As you’ll learn, my previous embodiment did something terrible and perhaps unforgiveable, making a cursed deal which condemned others to suffer so he (or rather I) could have what I wanted. But if you do decide to read on, I only ask that you reserve judgement until you know the full story.
My tale begins in the early 1990s, almost 15 years before I was reborn in my current incarnation. Back then my name was Michael Ferguson and I was an unemployed Scotsman in his late 20s, living in a housing estate on the outskirts of Glasgow.
I vividly remember my early life, my upbringing and family. I recall attending school, getting in fights, and the daily struggles of growing up in a working-class area during the 1980s. I clearly remember playing and sometimes squabbling with my siblings, watching British television shows, eating haggis, drinking my first pint, punch-ups outside the pub, my first time with a girl, and working on building sites. Most of these experiences were totally alien to young Omar.
I could recount my early life as Michael Ferguson but I’m sure that would be of little interest to you. My story really begins on one cold autumn’s day in October 1993 as I sat in my filthy bedsit, my head pounding from a hangover caused by the bottle of cheap vodka I’d downed the night before.
I was in a sorry state at the time, having been laid off from my job three months earlier. I’d been unable to find another job and my self-esteem plummeted. I spent all my money on fags and booze and fell behind with the rent and bills. I also neglected my girlfriend Lisa, pissing her off until she eventually dumped me. The final kick in the balls came when Lisa got together with my best friend Andy – the ultimate betrayal in my eyes, sending me further down a path of self-pity and self-destruction.
I think I was at my lowest point, laying on my worn-out sofa whilst contemplating my sorry situation. On that day I seriously considered downing painkillers with vodka to end my life. That’s when she came to me.
My head was still throbbing when I heard the loud knock on my front door. I groaned aloud at the unwelcome intrusion, not wishing to see anyone in my current state. It had been a while since my friends or family members had come to visit or check on me. Frankly, I’d driven them all away with my toxic behaviour.
I guessed the visitor was a door-to-door salesman or Jehovah’s Witness. Therefore, I ignored the banging in the hope they would give up and leave me alone. But this didn’t happen. Instead, the banging grew louder and more persistent as the uninvited visitor almost broke my front door down.
I pulled myself up from the sofa, my head still pounding as I swore angrily – “All bloody right! I’m coming now!”
I was still full of rage as I opened the latch on my front door and I was fully ready to give my uninvited visitor a piece of my mind, but then I saw her and all my anger just melted away.
The young woman who stood before me was stunning. Its not just that she was physically attractive, with her long red hair flowing while her tight black business suit emphasised the curves of her body. Sure I fancied her, but it was more than that. When I looked into her deep, green eyes I felt like I was drowning, and her sweet smile across ruby lips made my legs weak.
I’d never believed in anything as crazy as love at first sight but I did feel an instant attraction and connection to this young lady. It was like God had created the perfect woman for me and sent her to my front door during my hour of need. This was the flood of emotions I experienced in that first moment, and that was before the mystery woman had even spoken a word.
I stood in the doorway, dumbstruck by her beauty and unable to speak. As it happened, she was the one to make first introductions.
“Hello Michael. My name is Lilith. I’m here to help you change your life.”
Her voice was elegant although her accent was difficult to pin down. It sounded vaguely American but with traces of something else I couldn’t identify. Nevertheless, her words were like honey in my ears and my feelings for her only deepened.
I remained silent, not knowing how to respond to my mysterious visitor who I now knew was called Lilith.
“Well, aren’t you going to invite me in?” she asked coyly.
I stuttered in embarrassment before opening the door fully and stepping aside, muttering – “Yes, of course. Please come in.”
Lilith smiled as she stepped inside my flat, her high heels clicking on my hard wood floor. I watched her walking down the corridor, smelling her sweet perfume. I remained awestruck and infatuated as I slowly closed my front door. Now, obviously there were a lot of red flags which I had ignored in the moment. I didn’t know who this woman really was or what she wanted from me. I also didn’t question how she knew my first name.
And she’d introduced herself as ‘Lilith’. That name rang a bell somewhere in the recesses of my memory but again I couldn’t quite place it. Lilith had used her beauty and charm to get through my door, but things took a darker turn once she was inside.
I followed Lilith into my living room and saw her surveying the scene inside with disgust – looking at the dirty plates, half-full takeaway cartons and assorted liquor bottles strewn across the room. She made space for her handbag on my coffee table and roughly swept assorted rubbish from the sofa before taking a seat.
“I really love what you’ve done with the place.” she said sarcastically.
I suddenly felt very embarrassed, realising what a bad state my home was in.
“Ah yeah, I know. My maid is off sick!” I quipped.
But Lilith didn’t look impressed, looking down on me with obvious pity and contempt. I couldn’t blame her. Not only was my flat filthy, but I was also a mess at this point. The clothes I wore were soiled and I was unshaven and unwashed, not to mention overweight and with the stink of last night’s alcohol still on my breath. I was a fool to think this gorgeous young woman would ever be interested in a loser like me.
Lilith sighed aloud as she shook her head – “Well Michael, we’ve got a lot to talk about. You best take a seat.”
I gulped, somehow sensing that the dynamics had changed and now I had reasons to be fearful. Nevertheless, I obeyed Lilith’s command, taking a seat beside her. I was captivated by the seductive scent of her perfume which was in stark contrast to foul smell of my unwashed body. But she didn’t recoil in disgust, instead motioning for me to come closer as she met my eye.
“Now Michael, your life has taken a turn for the worst, hasn’t it?”
My pride was wounded and I didn’t want to admit she was right.
“I’m going through a rough patch but I’ll get back on my feet.” I said.
Lilith responded with mocking laughter. “A rough patch! That’s what you call it? Well, let’s sum up your situation Michael. You lost your job, your girl ran off with your best mate, you’re a penniless drunk about to be evicted from this crappy bedsit, and you’ve driven away all your family and friends. And – five minutes before I arrived – you were contemplating suicide. So, tell me my friend? What exactly is your plan for getting back on your feet?”
I felt a sickness rising from the pit of my stomach after hearing her harsh words, and my head was suddenly filled with angry confusion.
“How the hell do you know all that?” I demanded.
Lilith smirked before replying. “I know everything about you Michael. Every dirty little secret. All your hopes and dreams. I can even tell you your future and help you achieve it.”
I shook my head, my heart filling with rage as I realised I was being conned. Lilith – or whatever her real name was – clearly wasn’t to be trusted. She’d found out some information about me and was using this in an attempt to manipulate me. I wasn’t having it however.
I stood up, angrily confronting the woman and shouting down at her.
“I want you to leave.” I demanded firmly.
“That’s not going to happen Michael,” she replied calmly, “Now, sit back down and behave yourself.”
Her condescending tone only increased my anger as I screamed – “Get the hell out! Get out or I’ll throw you out!”
She laughed in open mockery, saying – “Sure, give that a try. Let’s see how it goes.”
It wasn’t in my nature to lay my hands on a woman, but I’d reached my wit’s end and could take no more. I reached out to grab Lilith by the arm but suddenly I was frozen – meaning I literally couldn’t move, as my whole body was paralysed by some unseen force.
I tried to open up my mouth to scream but couldn’t even manage that much, instead diverting my gaze to look down upon Lilith, a cruel smirk on her lips as she seemed to take pleasure from my situation.
“I think you need a further demonstration of the power I have over you.” she said.
I noted how her whole demeanour had changed in a matter of seconds, and suddenly I felt I was in grave danger.
“Go to the kitchen and get a bread knife from the drawer.” she ordered.
I was baffled for a moment until suddenly my legs started to move and I found myself walking out of the room and towards my small kitchen. I tried to stop but was horrified to find I no longer had control over my legs or any part of my body.
Somehow, Lilith had taken me over, playing me like her own personal meat puppet. I could only watch on in terror as my own hand pulled open the kitchen drawer and withdrew a sharp knife, and a moment later my legs led me back to the living room where Lilith was waiting for me.
“Okay good,” she said cooly, “Now hold the knife to your throat.”
My hand obeyed the order and I was horrified to feel the cold steel against my skin. Every instinct in my body was against this, but I was totally powerless to resist.
“You want to die, right?” Lilith asked, “Shall I cut your throat?”
My whole body was trembling by this point, sweat pouring from my pores and tears running down my cheeks as I tried to emit a desperate plea for mercy from my paralysed lips.
I looked into Lilith’s green eyes and thought I saw a glimmer of sympathy behind her hard stare.
“Drop it.” she ordered.
And suddenly the knife fell from my hand, dropping harmlessly onto the wooden floor.
“Sit down over there.” she said next, and my legs forced me to march across the room, taking a seat facing Lilith who was still sitting on the sofa, having hardly batted an eyelid throughout the whole ordeal.
Once I sat I suddenly regained control over my body, reacting with immense relief as I shook my arms and legs.
“Relax Michael,” said Lilith, her tone softening again as she’d made her point and demonstrated her power over me. “I’m not here to kill you. Like I said, I want to help you…if you’ll let me do so.”
I shook my head, still not believing this was really happening. I had many unanswered questions shooting through my tired brain.
“What are you?” I asked sheepishly, “Some kind of witch?”
She shrugged her shoulders dismissively before replying – “I guess you could call me that. I’ve been called much worse to be fair.”
She hadn’t really answered my question and honestly I was none the wiser. I could see she was powerful but I still had no idea of the extent of her powers.
“Why me? Why are you doing this to me? I asked.
“Because you’re lucky.” she answered with a coy smile, “I see potential in you Michael, and so does my…employer. We want to give you the chance to get everything you want in life.”
“And what do you want in return?” I asked, still feeling like I was being conned.
Lilith laughed. “You’re a clever man Michael. You know there’s nothing for free in this world. Yes, there’s a price to pay – but that’s a lot further down the line.” She paused briefly as if carefully considering her next words. “Right now, you’re bitter and full of rage. I get that. People have screwed you over your whole life.”
“How the hell would you know?” I interrupted angrily.
“Because I know everything about you Michael. I’ve already told you this – but I guess you need further proof.”
I was frightened by her announcement because I thought she was going to take control of my body again. But instead she reached out and grabbed the remote control from my coffee table, using it to switch on my television set. Confused and curious, I turned my chair to face the screen, soon realising we weren’t watching one of the scheduled channels.
To my astonishment I saw myself on the screen – except I was child once again, 12 years old and dressed in my school uniform as I walked through the playground on a dreary grey morning. I noted how my young face was filled with anxiety as I glanced from side-to-side.
The attack came out of the blue as a much larger boy hit me from behind, pushing me down to the hard ground. The young me squealed in shock. I tried to get up to defend myself but the bully was now on top of me, holding me down as he grabbed me roughly by the collar of my shirt.
“Give me your money you wee bastard!” he screamed in my face.
Defeated and scared, the young me pulled out a few coins from his blazer pocket and handed them over. The bully sneered as he claimed his prize, spitting in my face and kicking me hard in the belly as he walked away whilst laughing.
Witnessing the old assault filled me with rage and a lot of bad memories came back to me. The bully’s name was Angus and he was 14 whenever I started secondary school. He picked on me relentlessly – beating me up, stealing my lunch money and generally making my life hell for the next two years until he eventually got expelled.
I’d moved on from the schoolyard bullying, deciding it was just part of growing up. But seeing the young me beaten and humiliated like that brought it all back. I hated Angus all over again and wanted revenge. As always, it seemed like Lilith could read my mind and the question she asked was exactly what I was thinking.
“What does a thug like that deserve? How should he be punished?”
I answered without hesitation, my heart filled with hurt and hatred. “He deserves to get the living shit beat out of him.” I answered firmly.
“Very well.” Lilith answered before clicking another button on my remote. And suddenly a new image appeared on screen – the interior of a smoke-filled public house.
I saw a man playing pool and quickly recognised him. I hadn’t laid eyes on Angus for more than ten years but still I knew him at once. True, he’d put on weight and lost his hair, but the thug still maintained the same cruel look in his eyes and smug smirk on his lips.
I continued to watch as he played. Angus was so engrossed in his game that he failed to see the trio of men approaching him from behind – three skinheads with a lust for violence in their eyes.
The first skinhead commenced the attack, smashing a pint glass over the back of Angus’s head. Angus screamed as the broken shards entered his skull. He swung around wildly with his pool cue, but the other attackers grabbed it from him before all three laid into him, punching him mercilessly from all sides whilst screaming obscenities and abuse.
Soon Angus was down on the ground, rolling up in a ball in a futile attempt to protect himself. The skinheads showed no mercy however, continuing to kick him with heavy DM boots. Finally, the brutal attack ended as the skinheads decided their victim had taken enough. They fled from the scene, laughing cruelly as they left Angus unconscious and lying in a pool of his own blood.
I was shocked, struggling to come to terms with the brutal assault I’d just witnessed.
“Jesus!” I swore, “Was that real?”
“Of course it was.” Lilith answered confidently, “You asked and we delivered.”
I shook my head in disgust saying – “I didn’t ask for this! That’s too much!”
“Your exact words were – ‘he should have the living shit kicked out of him’. Don’t say you didn’t want this because deep down you certainly did!”
“But is he…?” I couldn’t speak the next word, but as always Lilith understood me.
“He’ll live.” she answered, “Now, let’s move on.”
I didn’t have time to process what I’d seen before the next image appeared on screen. I saw myself again, but on this occasion I was all grown and at my current age. In fact, the scene I was watching was from only a few months in the past, just before my life went to hell.
I was in my work overalls and sitting inside a tight office. Across from me was Karen, the hard-nosed office manager of the building firm I previously worked for. She was a blonde-haired middle-aged woman, slightly overweight and with her face caked in makeup. Karen had a reputation as a battle-axe and a job’s worth and the scene I was reliving was a painful one for me, because Karen was in the process of firing me.
Once again, rage consumed me as I watched the ugly scene unfold. I could hardly listen to her words but remember phrases like ‘unsatisfactory job performance’ and ‘budget cutbacks’. Anyway, the bottom line was that I got dismissed without severance pay.
But what really pissed me off was the smug, self-satisfied smirk on her face as she gave me my marching orders.
“That cow always had it in for me.” I muttered through clenched teeth.
“So, what’s it to be?” Lilith interjected, “What does she deserve for taking away your livelihood?”
I had to think for a moment because I knew this was no longer a rhetorical question. Whatever I said should happen would play out on screen before me and presumably in real life too.
I should’ve stopped it at that point, but I didn’t. I guess the anger and bitterness in my heart was too powerful.
“She deserves to lose everything, like I did.” I eventually replied, “She should lose her job.”
Lilith didn’t say anything, instead simply pressing a button on the remote to show a new scene on my television screen. I saw Karen sitting in a room similar to the one I’d been in, getting screamed at by the company’s managing director. Next, I saw her teary-eyed and defeated as she cleared the contents of her desk whilst other staff members looked on.
I felt a stab of guilt as I watched the unpleasant scene play out, but Lilith didn’t miss a beat.
“Sad. But I’m sure she’ll bounce back. I’ve got one more for you Michael. This is a biggie!”
Her expression became more serious as she changed the channel and presented the next scene. My jaw dropped when I saw a very familiar couple – my ex-girlfriend Lisa and former best friend Andy.
They were sitting together in a bar, sipping from drinks and laughing enthusiastically. I saw Andy move closer to Lisa, placing his hand on her thigh. She looked uncomfortable at first but soon adjusted, taking his hand and looking longingly into his eyes.
Andy whispered in my girlfriend’s ear. His voice was soft but somehow Lilith was able to increase the volume using the remote control, meaning I could hear him clearly.
And what he said was this – “I’m telling you baby, Michael’s not good enough for you. He’s a mate but he’s going nowhere. What you need is a real man…like me.”
Without hesitating, Andy moved in to kiss her and she didn’t stop him. And I could only watch as the couple engaged in a passionate embrace. In that moment I was totally furious.
A rage built up inside me as my face went red and my knuckles turned white as I clenched my fists.
I already knew they’d gotten together behind my back but seeing the seduction firsthand made my blood boil. Lisa cheating on me was bad enough, but I’d only been seeing her for six months. Andy on the other hand was my oldest friend – and now I knew he’d made the first move.
My anger was almost at fever pitch – but there was worse to come. The next scene hit me like a freight train as suddenly I saw Andy and Lisa in bed together, engaging in energetic and passionate love making. And from the moaning sounds Lisa was making it seemed clear she was enjoying herself very much.
I felt like my head was going to explode as the anger, humiliation and hurt overwhelmed me. I picked up an empty vodka bottle from the coffee table and prepared to throw it at the screen with all the fury I could muster. But Lilith stopped me.
“No Michael, that’s not how this works.”
She shot me a hard look and I backed down, remembering all too well how she could take control of my body with ease. But my raw anger didn’t subside and I couldn’t calm down.
And of course, Lilith asked the inevitable question – “So, what should happen to your former friend Andy? What is the appropriate punishment for a best mate who stabs you in the back? For a bastard who stole your girl and humiliated you…making you feel like you’re an inch tall…Like you’re not a man at all!”
My brain was on fire, my eyes filled with rage as I continued watching Andy and Lisa screwing in that hotel room. I should have taken a breath and walked away but I didn’t. The next words I spoke were through clenched teeth and I’ll regret them for all eternity.
“He deserves to die. That back-stabbing bastard should die for what he did to me!”
I glanced across to Lilith and saw a spark in her green eyes as she pressed a button on the remote. One little push that would change my life forever. The image changed and I saw a building site at dawn as construction workers began to arrive for the day. I saw Andy dressed in a hard hat and fluorescent jacket as he casually strolled towards the site, whistling as he walked like he didn’t have a care in the world.
The poor bastard had no idea what he was walking into. A moment later and I watched in horror as the scaffolding at the front of the half-built building creaked and then collapsed. Andy looked up at the last moment, emitting a scream of absolute terror as a ton of metal and brick fell on his head, crushing his fragile body and burying him under the debris.
“Oh my God!” I stuttered, my whole body trembling as I felt a burning pain in the back of my head. I took no pleasure from witnessing Andy’s death and instantly felt extreme guilt. But I couldn’t take it back. For that critical moment I had wanted Andy dead and had spoken the words knowing what would happen.
I sat staring blankly at the TV screen, paralysed in shock as I tried to process what had just happened. I hardly noticed as Lilith stood up and walked towards me, her high heels clicking on my wood floor. She placed her delicate hand firmly on my shoulder and I felt a surge of energy pulsating through my body, forcing me back to reality. And when I looked back into her intense green eyes I realised we now had a bond that could never be broken. We were tied together by blood.
“What’s done is done Michael.” she said softly, “The death will be written off as an accident and the authorities will never trace it back to you. Your life’s going to change from this point onwards Michael. Things will get better. It will be a while before we meet again.”
She sighed deeply and I swore I saw a sadness in her eyes as she took her hand off my shoulder, grabbed her handbag from the table, and walked out, stepping through my small flat and exiting through the front door, leaving me alone and staring at a blank screen.
I couldn’t sleep that night as the events of that day played over and over again in my head. It was no surprise when I received the call the next day, a mutual friend telling me that Andy was dead – killed in a freak workplace accident.
Somehow, I managed to drag myself to the funeral, joining the black-clad mourners at a lonely graveyard on a dreary, grey morning. I couldn’t look at Andy’s family during the grim proceedings. The thought of his grieving mother was too much. Lisa came up to me at the wake, her eyes filled with tears as she tried to reconnect. But I brushed my ex-girlfriend off and never did she her again.
I don’t know how exactly I dealt with my guilt over Andy’s death. The brain is a funny thing and has a tendency to rationalise events it can’t explain. I told myself that the bizarre encounter with Lilith couldn’t have been real. Surely it was a delusion brought on by my depression and heavy drinking. I decided that I wasn’t really responsible for Andy’s death. How could I be? It was an accident and I wasn’t to blame.
That’s what I told myself, but in my heart I knew it wasn’t the truth. I chose to ignore the sweet smell of Lilith’s perfume which lingered in my flat for months until I eventually moved out. Back then I had no real idea of what I’d gotten myself into, but Lilith had been true to her word about one thing – my life did get a whole lot better.
I sobered up in the aftermath of Andy’s death. I was tempted to pick up the bottle and drown my sorrows, but when the alcohol hit my lips I spat it right out again. Instead, I started getting up in the mornings – washing, shaving and getting myself back into shape.
I got a new job within a few weeks and worked hard to progress my career. For the first time in months I had money in my pocket and a new found confidence in myself. I began dating again and had no difficulty attracting the ladies, engaging in several fun but short-lived flings. But then I met Andrea.
It’s a strange thing because Andrea looked a lot like Lilith in a physical sense at least – with the same red hair and green eyes. But her personality was very different. Andrea was a bubbly and sweet-hearted girl who would never hurt a fly. We started a whirlwind romance and got married within six months.
Eighteen months after my friend’s sudden death and things couldn’t have been better for me. I’d started my own building firm and was making a lot of money. Andrea and I had bought our own home, a new car and I had a baby boy on the way. I had everything I’d ever wanted but – if I’m honest – I wasn’t happy.
I couldn’t sleep at night, plagued by nightmares of Andy’s death – seeing his body crushed and broken beyond repair. And Lilith…I just couldn’t get her out of my mind. I thought about her every day and often imagined I could see her, picking out her face on the street before she disappeared into the crowd.
I didn’t even know whether Lilith was real but still I was obsessed with her – infatuated with the girl who’d changed my life forever. But of course, I couldn’t talk about it. Whether my encounter with Lilith was a false memory or not, I knew it was a secret I could never share.
Unsurprisingly, the good times didn’t last. It was two years after my supernatural encounter and Andy’s untimely death. Andrea was six months pregnant and I was working long hours to provide. It was late on a Friday evening and I was driving home from a job.
A lethal combination of hard graft and sleepless nights meant I could hardly keep my eyes open. In my exhausted state I drove through a red light. At the last moment I saw the truck speeding towards me, but it was already too late. The mighty vehicle struck me on the driver’s side, crushing my small car and pulverising my body.
Once my brain had processed the shock I looked down and saw my broken torso and legs, and I knew straight away I was going to die. But it was the strangest thing because I felt no pain and no fear in that final moment. Somehow, I knew this was my destiny and my time had come.
And in the last seconds before my brain died, I saw her. Lilith was standing on the dark roadside, watching over me with eyes full of sorrow. And I was happy to see her.
That was Michael Ferguson’s last conscious emotion before his death, and he knew – or rather I knew – that Lilith was there to ease my passing. When my eyes closed I had a smile on my face.
And so that was the end of my first existence in the mortal realm. Michael Ferguson died along a lonely Scottish road in the mid-90s and many years later Omar Sanchez was born in West Virginia. Two different people separated by a wide ocean, but one soul resurrected and returned to the mortal world.
But that’s not the end of my story. You see, I don’t only remember Michael Ferguson’s passing. I also recall what happened next. This is the most unbelievable part of my tale but I swear it’s the truth.
My first memory after my death was awaking in a soft bed, my head shooting up from the pillow as the memory of the accident came flooding back. I was in a panic for a moment, but when I surveyed my surroundings I found myself inside what looked like a five-star hotel room – complete with a four-poster bed, layered wallpaper, fine furnishings and even a mini-bar and widescreen TV.
The morning sunlight shone through the lace curtains and a soft, soothing music was playing in the background, helping to put me at ease. Suddenly the music was replaced by a gentle, disembodied male voice which spoke directly to me.
And what he said was this – “Hello Michael, do not be alarmed. You are in a safe place and I am here to help. Welcome to Hotel Limbo. Please make yourself comfortable and take time to adjust to your surroundings. When you are ready, please proceed through the door to your right and we shall commence with the orientation process.”
I was stunned and confused by the words, but only for a moment. Somehow it all clicked in my head. I’d seen extraordinary things in life that day in my flat when she came to me. Was this all part of the plan? Was I meant to die so I could come to this place, wherever this may be? I didn’t know for sure but was desperate to find out.
And so I rose from the bed, putting my feet on the soft carpet as my nostrils filled with the sweet smell of roses and I stepped towards the waiting door – a surge of energy passing through me as I placed my hand on the handle and turned it.
I expected to walk out into a hotel corridor but instead I was surprised to find myself looking upon a luxurious office adorned with leather chairs, bookcases and a substantial oak desk. Behind said desk sat an amicable, elderly white-haired man dressed in an immaculate tuxedo suit, smiling at me as his eyes lit up in anticipation.
“Ah, Michael! It’s a pleasure to meet you sir.”
He stood up from his armchair and held out his hand for me to shake. I did so and felt a warmth flowing through me.
“Please, take a seat.”
I willingly accepted his offer, sitting on a soft leather armchair opposite to this mystery man. He continued to smile softly, his warm eyes looking upon me sympathetically as he spoke.
“Well Michael, I don’t want you to panic but I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. There’s no point in sugar coating it my friend…You’re dead.”
He looked upon me cautiously as if expecting me to break down or lose my mind. I think my response greatly surprised him.
“I know…” I replied abruptly.
“Oh, well…that’s good. That’s very good! Most who arrive here haven’t come to terms with their new situation. It’s good that you are so…accepting. This will save me a lot of time.”
“So, this is the afterlife?” I asked nervously.
“In a manner of speaking.” the man replied, “At the Hotel Limbo we help prepare the recently deceased for the next stage in their journey. This is a place of transition and – I’ll be honest – there is some red tape to go through I’m afraid!”
I felt a cold chill – my heart breaking because I knew my reckoning was nigh. I stuttered my next words through trembling lips, asking – “Are you God?”
The old man laughed softly before answering. “Goodness no! I am a mere servant. A representative if you will. Don’t worry Michael – I’m not here to judge you, only to help you.”
“But you decide where I’ll go?” I demanded, as my patience was stretched to breaking point.
“Yes.” he replied less confidently, “There is a process to go through, but its really nothing to worry about. Perhaps its better if I show you.”
He clicked his fingers and prompted a set of red satin curtains behind his desk to pull open, revealing a large black television screen which suddenly burst to life, showing images and wonders beyond my wildest dreams.
The first place he showed me was one of light, life and happiness. I saw green fields and clear streams under blue skies and a bright sun which illuminated a peaceful land. I witnessed beautiful structures – white marble towers and castles with stunning spires which looked like something from a fairy tale.
The land was full of life – the sweet songs of birds filling the air and deer roaming majestically through the fields and forests. The people I saw on screen were of all races and creeds. They dressed in white robes and wandered through the countryside, appreciating every flower and creature they encountered as if their senses were somehow heightened.
Others worked in the castles, toiling on projects which engaged their passions – writing, singing and building. All looked content and satisfied.
The final scene was of a grand feast held in a great hall with long tables filled to the brim with food and delicacies from around the world. The dinner guests drank, ate and laughed merrily as they enjoyed the feast and each other’s company. All were happy and not one argument was had.
“Heaven…” I muttered, my eyes focused on the wonderful images.
“Yes, its quite something, isn’t it?” the man exclaimed with a smile.
It looked too good to be true and I knew this wasn’t where I was headed.
“There are other places though, aren’t there?” I muttered.
The man nodded as if he’d anticipated this question.
“Yes, that is true. Honestly, few folks make it to heaven the first time around. We’re not all saints after all!”
The man chuckled but was met by my stone-cold face and so he continued in a more serious tone.
“Purgatory. The likelihood is that you’ll go there, at least for a while. There’s always a price to be paid.”
“Can I see it?” I asked impatiently.
“Of course.”
The old man clicked his fingers again and a series of images appeared on screen. I saw ugly grey buildings under an even greyer sky as a constant cold rain fell to earth. Thousands of unhappy people walked along a crowded pavement, shoving each other as they rushed from place to place and were soaked to the skin. And in the alleyways off the main streets, mangy rats and pigeons fought over scraps from overturned bins.
Next, I saw people at work, standing in assembly lines or sitting in tight office cubicles – their heads down and eyes devoid of passion as they completed tedious jobs without purpose.
And finally I watched a sad looking man sitting down alone to what looked like a cheap microwave meal, sighing loudly as he forced the unappetising food into his mouth.
“Not the most pleasant place, but it could be worse.” the old man said with an awkward smile.
Indeed, I thought but didn’t say. Purgatory looked pretty miserable but in truth it didn’t seem too different from the mortal realm. But I knew he wasn’t telling me the whole story. There was more to come and I needed to see it.
“What about the other place?” I said firmly, “What about Hell?”
I swore I could see some of the colour drain from the old man’s wrinkled face as his jaw dropped and eyes widened.
“Hell?” he exclaimed in shock, “You shouldn’t be worrying about that place young man. You’re not the type to end up there.”
“I want to see it.” I demanded.
I think my determination shocked him as he reluctantly submitted to my wishes.
“Very well Michael. I will show you. But I warn you that it won’t be pleasant viewing.”
I thought I was ready for what was to come but the horrors I witnessed on screen were beyond my worst nightmares.
I saw a dead land shrouded in darkness and a ring of naked, emaciated bodies secured in chains and marching in a circle. All were forced to hold heavy rocks and were whipped by a snarling demonic beast – a twenty-foot-tall monster with horns upon its head and hooves instead of feet. Its eyes burnt a fiery red and when it opened its terrible maw I saw its mouth was filled with rows of shark-like teeth.
The demon cackled cruelly as it snapped its huge whip, the cat-of-nine tails striking the bare skin of the damned as they cried out in agony.
Next, I witnessed a horrifying walled city of crumbling bridges and military structures, the brickwork assaulted by heavy rain and constant lightning strikes from a starless dark sky above.
The rubble-strewn streets were home to running battles fought by soldiers from throughout history – everything from Roman legionnaires to First World War infantrymen. They hacked at each other with axes, swords and bayonets – indulging in a bloody, senseless slaughter as the heavy rains washed away the blood.
I looked on in horror as winged demons – harpy-like beasts – ascended from the dark skies to feed upon the wounded soldiers, slicing open their bellies and devouring their guts as the still living men squirmed and screamed.
Finally, I saw a beach of burning sands set along a lake of sulphur and fire. Yet more naked souls ran in utter terror along the beach, their feet burning as they fearfully looked up at the sky above them. I soon witnessed the horror they were fleeing from.
Suddenly, as huge predator ascended from the skies – a jet-black dragon the size of a bus with burning red eyes and a terrible maw which breathed fire, incinerating the damned in a fiery inferno before grabbing their burnt corpses in its mighty talons, ripping the charred bodies to shreds before feasting on their warm flesh.
“My God…” I uttered in disbelief, my body trembling as my brain processed the horrifying images I’d just witnessed.
The old man also seemed disturbed and perhaps embarrassed as he stuttered his next words.
“Yes well, I did try to warn you.” But then the smile returned to this face as he added, “But you shouldn’t worry Michael. I’ve read your file and you’re not the type to end up in Hell. Eternal damnation is for unrepentant sinners, tyrants, child molesters and murderers…all of that bad sort.”
His grin widened as he tried to reassure me but it was no good. I felt that the familiar sickness in the pit of my stomach and burning in the back of my head, realising that I could still experience guilt even after death. I kept reliving that moment back in my filthy bedsit two years before as Lilith showed me those images of Andy seducing my girlfriend. I vividly recalled the rage I’d felt and the words I’d spoken – ‘he deserves to die’.
I was a murderer yet somehow they’d missed it – otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here I supposed. I could have kept my mouth shut and hoped for the best, but I knew I couldn’t live for all eternity with this guilt. I opened my dry lips and prepared to speak, but suddenly the office door shot open and a furious figure charged in.
I looked up and was captivated by those green eyes and flowing red hair, my heart missing a beat as I set eyes upon my beloved. Because the woman who barged into the office was Lilith – and she was as mad as hell.
The mild-mannered elderly man reacted with surprise to the unexpected intrusion, crying out – “What is the meaning of this? How dare you interrupt my meeting!”
“Shut your mouth old man!” Lilith screamed with fury, “This soul is mine!”
I looked up at the fire in Lilith’s eyes, awestruck by her presence as all the passion I’d felt two years ago came flooding back. The man behind the desk was taken aback, stuttering his reply.
“I’m afraid you must be mistaken. Michael here is being processed for the afterlife. All very routine…”
“You idiots have screwed up again!” Lilith exclaimed angrily, “Michael belongs to me. A deal was made and sealed in blood.”
I saw the shock in the man’s eyes, his jaw dropping as his whole tone and demeanour changed. He shot me an accusatory glare before asking – “Is this true Michael?”
I felt ashamed as my dark secret was finally exposed. I couldn’t answer verbally so instead nodded my head meekly as I admitted my guilt, avoiding the man’s eye as I did so.
“Oh,” he replied, the disappointment clearly evident in his voice, “Well Mr Ferguson, I’m afraid there’s nothing more I can do for you.”
He nodded towards Lilith before saying – “You may take him.”
I experienced a terrible sinking feeling as I looked into her intense eyes.
“Come on Michael, let’s go.” she demanded.
I looked back at the old man behind the desk, silently begging for his support. But his back was turned to me, his chair now facing the far wall.
Resigned to my fate, I stood up on my trembling legs and followed Lilith to the door. It was the same entrance I’d come in through but somehow I knew it wouldn’t lead us back to the luxurious hotel room.
Lilith put her slender hand on the door handle, opening it to reveal my own personal hell. I stood in the doorway in stunned silence, hardly believing what I saw. It was an exact replica of my decrepit, dirty bedsit from two years ago – right down to the empty vodka bottles and stained sofa. To my horror I realised I was being returned to the lowest point of my life – back when I was on the brink of suicide and just before Lilith came to me.
I looked to Lilith, tears in my eyes as I pleaded for her mercy.
“Please don’t make me go back there.”
I swore I could see some sympathy in her eyes, although her voice didn’t falter as she answered firmly.
“You must. There is no choice.” But then she did something unexpected, reaching out to take my hand in hers. “It’s okay, I’ll be there with you.”
I felt a warmth flow through me and drew strength from hers, putting a foot forward and stepping into the hellish replica of my former home. But, as soon as we were inside, the door slammed shut behind us and I realised I was trapped.
I panicked in the first few moments, Lilith standing back as I tore through the small flat desperately searching for a way out. The front door was firmly locked and all the windows were bricked up, the only light coming from dim electric lamps which could never be switched off.
I banged my fists against the walls and door, trying in vain to break out until eventually I exhausted myself, collapsing down on the uncomfortable sofa and crying in angry frustration. Lilith sat beside me, placing her hand on my shoulder.
“You need to adjust Michael. This is your home now.” she said softly.
I reacted with anger, slapping her hand away and screaming in her face – “You bitch! You tricked me! It’s your fault that I’ve ended up in this hellhole!”
Lilith shot me a look which instantly made me regret my outburst, and when she next spoke her words were harsh and to the point.
“Don’t kid yourself Michael. I told you there would be a price to pay! I didn’t force you to do what you did!”
My head dropped and heart sank because I knew Lilith was right. The words I’d spoken two years before kept repeating in my head – ‘He deserves to die.’
A difficult silence ensued before we were interrupted by a sudden loud knock on the front door. I jumped up in surprise but Lilith didn’t flutter an eyelid as clearly she had expected this visitor.
“You need to get that Michael.” she said solemnly, as the knocking grew even louder.
With considerable reluctance I got up off the sofa, glancing back at Lilith momentarily before I slowly walked towards the front door, a terrible sense of impending doom building up inside me as I reached out for the doorknob.
The door – which was now unlocked – opened to reveal what looked like the interior of an elevator. But I was shaken to my very core when I saw the figure standing on the other side. It was Andy – my former best friend who I’d effectively murdered two years before.
Or perhaps it was a demonic entity who’d taken the form of my late friend. In any case, the sight of him chilled me to my bones as I saw the dried blood on his forehead, the cruel smirk on his lips, and a fiery hatred in his eyes. When he spoke it wasn’t Andy’s voice, as the tone was deep and inhuman.
“Hello mate, remember me? It’s payback time you bastard!”
He clenched his fists and stepped forward menacingly. I backed off – raising my hands defensively as I pleaded for mercy.
The first punch hit me like a ton of bricks, knocking me down to the ground. He didn’t pause before striking me again and again, first with punches and then with hard kicks from his heavy work boots. I screamed in pain and terror as ‘Andy’s’ vicious attacked continued unabated.
Mid way through I glanced up with blood in my eyes as I saw Lilith standing in the doorway of the living room, watching as the violent assault upon me played out. There was a sadness in her eyes as she looked on but she made no effort to intervene or stop the attack.
I felt myself losing consciousness as the pain overwhelmed me and I thought that Andy would beat me to death, but he stopped his assault abruptly, walking away from my bloodied body whilst laughing sadistically and saying – “So long mate. See you soon!”
Lilith came to my side as soon as the front door closed, helping me to my feet and guiding me to the bedroom where she gently laid me down on the mattress. She spoke in a soft and soothing tone, holding my hand as she whispered – “Its going to be okay Michael. You’re going to be fine.”
She lay with me on the bed, holding my broken body whilst comforting me. And somehow she must have used her powers to heal my wounds, because all of my cuts, broken bones and bruises disappeared within a few short hours. I felt relief and gratitude, looking into Lilith’s deep eyes and experiencing a wave of emotions. Instinctively I leaned forward intending to kiss her, but Lilith backed away to prevent it.
I felt embarrassed, not knowing what to say or do. But then there was another ominous knock on the door and my heart froze with terror because I knew what this meant. Andy – or whatever demon had possessed his body – was back to deliver yet another savage beating.
And so, that became the pattern for I’m not sure how long, as ‘Andy’ beat the living shit out of me and Lilith nursed me back to health, only for the whole hellish routine to repeat again and again. Don’t get me wrong – I didn’t meekly submit to my torment. On several occasions I attempted to fight back, only to be easily overpowered by the creature who’d taken my friend’s form.
One time I managed to get past him, through the door and into the elevator which had transported the beast, only to find there were no buttons inside to operate the lift. And of course, Andy dragged me out kicking and screaming before delivering another savage beating.
Lilith wasn’t always there to witness the assaults but she always arrived in the aftermath to heal my injuries, materialising out of thin air by some kind of dark magic. I felt my feelings for her grow during this time as she offered the only glimmer of hope I had in this hell of my own making. When she held me I felt warm and safe – for while at least.
Just to be clear, our relationship remained essentially platonic. I had no sexual desire in that place. Nevertheless, she became my whole world during that awful time.
On one occasion after a particularly savage beating I asked her the question which had been playing on my mind for so long.
“Why?” I asked weakly, “Why did you bring me here? And why do you do this?”
There was an awful sorrow in her green eyes and a lengthy pause followed before she finally answered.
“I’m trapped here, the same as you. The demon who beats you captured my soul a long time ago. He forces me to act as his siren and draw in others – like you. Together we trick unfortunates into these damned blood pacts so he can torment them for all eternity…” she sobbed softly before continuing, “I hate myself for what I’ve done. If I could go back I would never have chosen you Michael. I’m so very sorry.”
I nodded my head upon hearing her words. Honestly, this was more or less what I’d suspected and so I was not surprised.
“It’s okay,” I finally answered, “Its not your fault. We’ve both done bad things and we can’t change the past.” I sighed deeply before finishing my sentence, “I only wish there was a way out for us.”
Lilith’s eyes lit up before she replied. “Maybe there is – for one of us at least.”
I frowned, failing to understand her cryptic words.
“What do you mean?”
“Just wait and see.” answered Lilith with a wink and a smile.
And so, I did.
I didn’t know how long I was trapped in that hell or how many times I was beaten, but I vividly recall the day when everything changed. I answered the door as usual, my body trembling as I saw ‘Andy’ marching towards me – his fists clenched and eyes full of sadistic glee as he prepared to launch his latest attack.
I didn’t plea for mercy or attempt to defend myself, knowing both would be futile. Instead I closed my eyes and prepared for the inevitable.
But suddenly there was a loud cry from behind in a voice I knew all too well.
“Leave him be!” Lilith screamed, “Enough is enough!”
The look on Andy’s face was initially one of shock, but this soon turned to fury as his eyes burned and he spat out his angry words.
“Damn you Lilith! How dare you challenge me? Stay the hell out of my way!”
Lilith responded with defiance, stepping forward and pushing past me, positioning herself between me and my demonic attacker.
“No.” she said firmly, “I’m not doing this anymore!”
I watched on helplessly as the demon screamed with fury and attacked, swinging his fist as he struck out at Lilith. But she responded in kind, parrying his blow and shoving him with all the strength in her body. Andy was taken off guard, flung backwards into the open elevator – his body crashing heavily against the cold steel.
Lilith stormed forwards, reaching for the handle to slam the door shut. But the demon masquerading as Andy cried out his parting words, screaming – “You bitch! You’re going to pay for this!”
And then she shut the door, trapping him on the other side. Lilith glanced back at me, her expression still one of fiery defiance as she’d finally stood up to her devilish master. But I felt a cold chill as I recalled the demon’s parting threat.
“My God, what have you done?” I muttered fearfully, and Lilith’s eyes filled with a raw terror.
Lilith left me soon after and it was sometime before I saw her again, leaving me to sit alone in my prison and imagine all the terrible things that might have happened to her. Then one day I awoke to find her sitting at the end of my bed, watching me as I slept.
I couldn’t contain my relief and excitement at seeing her again and so hugged her in a passionate embrace. But when I saw Lilith’s face I realised something was wrong. She looked drained and exhausted, as the fire behind her eyes had faded.
“What happened? What did that bastard do to you?” I asked with concern.
She shook her head before replying. “It doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you’re getting out.”
“What do you mean?” I exclaimed in confusion.
“You’re getting off on a technicality.” she answered, “Seems I didn’t inform you of the terms and conditions when we made our deal. You’d be surprised at all the red tape in the afterlife.” she smiled faintly before continuing. “Anyway, what matters is you’re getting a second chance. A whole new life. And you won’t remember any of this nightmare…”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, nor did I understand.
“But what about you?” I exclaimed in a panic, “Aren’t you coming with me?”
She avoided my gaze, pushing me away as she answered.
“I can’t. My deal is still intact, and there’s a price to be paid.”
I shook my head in defiance, saying – “I won’t leave without you.”
“You must.” Lilith replied as she took my hand and looked deeply into my eyes. “I’ll never forget you Michael.”
She leaned in to kiss me and I experienced a surge run through me as her lips touched mine – an electricity which awoke something buried deep inside of me. But when she withdrew I suddenly felt light-headed, quickly losing consciousness as everything started to go black. And the last thing I saw before the darkness took me was Lilith’s face – a soft smile on her lips and a tear in her eye as she watched me go.
And so this is my story – that of my first life, death and temporary stay in a hellish realm. Michael Ferguson died in Scotland in a car accident in 1995. I was able to confirm as much from archived news reports from the time. He left behind his widow Andrea, and the son he’d never met was born three months after his death.
That’s right – I have a son who’s older than I am – Michael ‘Mike’ Ferguson Junior. I found his profile on Facebook and felt like someone had stepped over my grave when I saw his photograph. I thought about contacting him but what the hell would I say? How could I explain any of this?
So, Michael Ferguson died in 1995 and Omar Sanchez was born in 2007. That means my soul spent 12 years being tormented in that hellish realm before Lilith set me free. If she hadn’t done so I’d still be there now, but instead I’m living the life of a teenage highschooler in the States.
And if it hadn’t been for my head injury I wouldn’t remember any of this, and I’d probably be happier for it. But the cat’s out of the bag now and I can never go back to that blissful ignorance.
I can’t stop thinking about Lilith and the sacrifice she’d made to save me. I know she’s suffering on the other side, tormented by that vile demon as he punishes her for the betrayal. I can’t accept this however.
Despite everything I still care deeply about Lilith and I won’t rest until I rescue her. I don’t know how I’ll achieve this – not yet anyway. I’ve already died once and I’m in no rush to do so again. Besides, there’s no guarantee that I’ll return to the same place, such is the disorganised nature of the afterlife and the confusing bureaucracy.
But I have to do something. I’ll speak with priests, mystics, mediums, demonologists, and paranormal investigators – anyone who might have a way to communicate with the other side. I don’t care if it takes the rest of Omar’s natural life but somehow I’ll find a way.
I’m coming to save you Lilith and we’ll be together for all eternity. This is our destiny and I’ll never stop fighting for you.
Credit: Woundlicker
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