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For The Few

Estimated reading time — < 1 minute

I’m the easiest to talk to because I go by so many different names. Every person in every country has heard of me, and spoken of me when things are at their very worst. And I’m so easy to call upon. All you have to do is ask. No ritual to adhere to. No prayer. No personal relationship. Just ask. Once, earnestly.

I’m ever so popular. I’m in your music, your news, and even in your food. I’m Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Haphaestus and Nietschze. I was there, guiding the hand of Shakespeare, Dahmer and Spielberg alike. You’ve seen me, time and again, now an old man, then a little girl. You bought groceries from me the other day, actually. Hell, if you want to be REALLY personal, some of you make love to me on a regular basis. You’re not bad, either. I like you. I am mother to some of you, Father to others, and I am proud of the way you turned out.

But here’s the pitch. I am powerful, and you are not. I have legions, and you are alone. I can make you mine for all eternity, if you like. And it’s so easy you could almost do it by mistake. All you have to do is ask. Not even in words. Just..want it. Want me. Want to join me.


If you aren’t convinced by my influence, turn on the T.V, and look into the eyes of newscasters while they lie to you. Go to church, and look into the eyes of a sermonising sinner, casting the first heavy stone at the congregation. Hell, look into the eyes of a friend, a loved one, or a stranger. Most of them are mine anyway.

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108 thoughts on “For The Few”

  1. …Did it really say that it is my lover, mother, and father? Because I don’t think even hillbillies are that messed up…


  3. Violent Harvest

    Nah. Not good. Too vague, and the references to pop culture create plot holes instead of sealing them up.

  4. It doesn’t matter who the guy is! It’s playing off the idea of paranoia and the common fear of an unseen “Other” who controls all aspects of a person’s life!

    God, why do so many of the commentators on this site not get these things?

  5. oh please. the only part “anonymous” fits the bill is the legion part. Santa, food, and everything else doesn’t make sense.

  6. Huh. I never made the “anonymous” connection until I looked at the comments. It makes sense now, though. I can’t believe I didn’t pick up on the little clues; the reference to “legions” in particular. I though it was talking about religion.

  7. I’m pretty sure this wasn’t talking about me. I mean, is it “easy” to invoke God? Invite him into your heart, yeah, but how long can you keep him in there before you let Me drop My things in and stay a spell?

  8. WTF? would have loved this pasta if the author didn’t include the “sermonising sinner”. pls dont make pasta with religion…

  9. @Warrior: If God is with us, why does he never show it? Would he prefer we despair, and grow to hate him for his hands-off methods?

  10. @ phlauestr,

    I tip my hat to thee good sir

    Even if you weren’t trolling, that argument was more fun to read than the pasta itself

  11. very well done i would like more however made me think of God not too creepy because a lot of that is true about God

  12. @ Azriel,

    you don’t know the religious political right, if you want to claim both sides are equal.

    it’s not an argument, it’s an observation, and trying to start an argument with strawmen will get you nowhere.

  13. Warrior from heaven

    and impersinator of god

    #1 god wouldn’t name call us dumb arsholes.

    nor would he hide his truth in these lies.

  14. Warrior from heaven

    open your eyes. dont you all see that the devil is talking to all of you through this??
    “I am powerful, and you are not. I have legions, and you are alone.”

    though he may think he is powerful God IS THE ALMIGHTY
    you are strong in him just seek him and he is there and though the devil may say he has legions. god has wayyy more than that

    your not alone because the lord is always by your side even when you feel as if the world hates you he’s there giving you the hope and strength to move forward.

  15. :/

    It’s not Anon, satin ALSO has legions. Anon stole it from satin, actually.

    I think it’s probably satin, my self, only because Anon has about as much influence over people as a wet noodle

  16. @phlauestr:

    Are you an idiot? I think, just to see how everyone reacts, I’ll go to the next pasta with a vague villain and make up a bunch of lies and spout idiotic remarks about Democrats. Or athiests. Because I bet that’s how you describe yourself.

    And so what if you don’t like religion? That doesn’t make it bad. Saying “People fight other people over religion, and it isn’t good for anything else because they are all crazy shotgun-wielding fat white business men, AKA Republicans” doesn’t make it true.

    You show a clear lack of understanding when it comes to the real world. You go to a site that’s a collection of creepy stories, for crying out loud, to post meaningless and unintelligent political complaints. I don’t even know where to begin knocking down your argument, because there’s no point, no truth, no anything at all to it.

    And if you’re going to try to insult people on baseless conjecture, at least have the decency to use the shift key.

  17. Your comments amuse me, people and er …things.
    I think this Pasta had quite a good meaning behind it, but imo it could have been written better or made more creepier in some way.

  18. @ Girlie,

    in case there was any confusion, i was referring to the religious right, which comprise a large portion of the republican base. notice i said “half” and not “all ®epubliKKKan$”

    they have some pretty scary beliefs, hth.

  19. the reason this one is scary is half the republican party already thinks like this. they would read this and immediately go off to polish their firearms and sharpen their blades.

    they seriously think there will be an apocalypse and a battle for all men’s souls during their lifetimes.

    probably not nearly as scary if you aren’t american.

  20. “I DUN G3T 1TZ PL0x EXPLAN SUM1!!11!1!1one!1”

    Seriously though, I really thought the answer was Anon. Or am I lounging in chan threads far too long?

    Also, “look into the eyes of the reporter as they lie to you” God (?)

  21. I tried to not think of what this could be, waiting to see if it told me in the story (avoiding the disappointment if what I thought it was turned out to be something real lame). Not particularly creepy, but still thought-provoking. The open-ended flow of the story does make for an interesting concept, leaving the reader to try to discern who – or what – is the narrator.

    Personally, I don’t think “God” is the narrator. It tries to hard to sound foreboding, and seems to much like it is behind misdeeds of individuals (take the lying newscaster and ‘sermonising sinner’ lines – the narrator sounds proud they are corrupt). God is typically shown as compassionate and loving, and is supposed to abhor evil in all forms. “Satan” or “Anonymous,” however, could both be viable options for the narrator.

    But perhaps, could it be some sentient form of an emotion, similar to the idea of it being “Death” or “Suicide”? Maybe “Fear” perhaps? Or “Hope”? But then, I suppose the ‘having legions’ part could not apply to these. I suppose until the author fills in the blanks, it seems like “Satan” or “Anonymous” are the best options for the narrator.

  22. I liked this one ALOT! It isnt really creepy but it makes me think…This could be some story from god’s point of view…wow. who ever wrote that has got talent :-D

  23. Is it watching me now?


    Is it watching me now?



    (It was Verizon, wasn’t it? XD)

  24. My first thought was death/suicide. Then as it progressed I ended up with Anon as well. The legion thing tied the knot.

    Overall decent pasta, but make me more freaked that you’re everywhere? You say you can do all this stuff, but will you?

  25. At first, I thought God. Then I thought Satan. Then I thought it was the Muse, that which gives us our inspiration. I’m sticking to the muse.

  26. Nietschze was obviously the father of Anon.

    I don’t know, it’s a good story, but it’s not a creepypasta. What’s the creepy part? Are these people going to kill me if I act out of line? Will they sprout seven heads and ten horns when the day of reckoning is at hand?

    I am inclined to believe this is just a joke pasta, which is fine, it’s alright.

  27. Always wondered why, when she was particularly mad at us, Mom used to call us “the DEVIL’S CHILDREN!” ::evil grin::

  28. At first I thought it was Satan… but then I thought Anonymous. It fits the shoe.

    When I was reading this, I kept thinking “And I should care about this, why?” It’s not a bad story, and I get all that’s there. It does pretty well at the “I have power and you are a hapless pawn in my world” angle, but it wasn’t terribly creepy.

    I would have like more detail on why this is bad, but at least it didn’t have the generic “oh btw we are all dead” line at the end.

  29. Was it anonymous? After all, 4chan has existed since the dawn of time. The invention of the internet just let us access it more easily. Don’t believe me? Check any public restroom stall, it’ll read just like a thread on /b/

    Still, I kinda liked this one. It was omniscient and apparently all powerful, but without being so in an overly blatant tone. It could use a little more detail, perhaps some clarity, but overall, I give it a “C”

    **Excuse me, might I have a glass of port with this pasta? It has a remarkably subtle flavor…..**

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