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Estimated reading time — < 1 minute

Exorcisms are often the theme of horror movies. Most people shrug them off and think that they are fake.

They’re not.

But they are also not the way Hollywood portrays them to be. Instead, when a mere mortal tries to perform an exorcism, the demon leaves its original host, and enter the priest’s body. More than likely though, since they’re priests, the demon has no control over them, and soon leaves. However, there are certain instances when the priest lets the demon take control over him. The demon is wiser this time around though, and does not completely take over the body, which would cause another exorcism. This time, he gently influences the thoughts of the “priests” to do horrific things. Since priests have knowledge and experience in the “Spiritual Realm,” the demon can curse people, damn people, the works. The people around the priest have no knowledge of his demonic possession, and neither does he. After meditating on demonic practices, the priest and demon become one, allowing the demon to enter the world as a physical being. Once in this dimension, the demon has almost unlimited power.


Over 150 people have been found dead after fighting with priests on Sunday morning the following day in the past decade. Take these words of advice; don’t fight priests, and if you do, carry a Bible on you at all times for at least twelve days.

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104 thoughts on “Exorcisms”

  1. I’m seeing a lot of comments about ‘who would fight a priest? That doesn’t make sense’. Does anyone realize that priests are also, you know, people? People get in fights with others all the time. As for the pasta itself it was….meh…. I want to like it, but meh.

  2. Even though this pasta was not very tasty,
    I still somewhat enjoyed it’! I do not understand though why anyone would want to fight a priest.
    this is hilarious

  3. “Certain instances where the priest lets the demon take over their body”? What the fuck. What kind of priest would do that?

  4. Hey why dont I just bash up father nick over there? Ohh right he’s a demon. Lucky I’m carrying a bible to BASH DAT MUTHA FCKR TO DA GROUND after he stops molesting that child of course. That’s old father nick molesting child’s every now and then evn in church. Im gonna miss him when he DIES OF GETTING BASHED UP TO DA GROUND WITH MA HOLY BIBLE MADE OUT OF.. MADE OUT OFF… MADE OUT OF HOLINESS AND I WOULD PROBABLY EAT HIM FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER SERVED WITH BARBEQUE SAUCE OHH AND WHO ELSE LIKES BARBEQUE SAUCE IT’S SO YUM I ALSO LIKE TOMATO SAUCE AND CHILI SAUCE AND OTHER SAUCES I JUST GOT DESTRACTED THERE BY TALKIN BOUT SACES BUT NOW THAT DAMN BITCHY BASTERD IS GONNA DI… Where did he go?

  5. I gave this a 1, but wish I gave it a 10. The more I think about it, the funnier it is. Hilarious pasta. Just fucking comedic gold.

  6. Lol, I’m pretty new to this site, and I thought the last paragraph did utterly destroy the story, but oddly enough I ended up enjoying this then most other pastas simply because of the comments left in response to that last paragraph, a lot of them cracked me up. Hell if anything this pasta actually got me to read all the comments posted, I never do that.

  7. The last paragraph just killed the seriousness of this. At first it was a wee bit creepy, and I was expecting a bone-chilling ending and I get “Don’t fight priests”? Theend wasn’t scary, it was just silly.

  8. \"Take these words of advice; don’t fight priests, and if you do, carry a Bible on you at all times for at least twelve days.\"

    That line ruined what was an otherwise decent pasta.

  9. I fought a priest by taking down his shields and stabbing him in the back. After he was down, I looted his corpse and began to camp him at least twenty times just for teh lulz. Face it, a priest will always lose to a rogue.

  10. No kidding! I talked to a priest once and I FUCKING SWEAR I could feel some sort of aura. It gave a feeling… indescribable. Like he was suppressing me. They are evil man.

  11. That’s what must have happened to the priest we have now… he’s a new transfer and a captain asshole.

  12. Seriously, man, what the fuck?

    So, the moral of the story is that if you try fight a priest, they’re gonna fuck you up?

    I hope this is meant to be funny, or I dread the future of creepypasta.

  13. Great set-up, nice idea and then it just falls flat on its face in that last paragraph. Poorly done.

  14. Shan: “damn” can be a word. Cain was damned, for instance.

    Story was pretty crap but whatever, I’m always down for the religious angle.

  15. Dang. Looks like I won’t be fighting that priest.

    Now, I’ve made a comment on a previous entry, but I like the IDEAS of pretty much all the creepypastas. The length and lack of detail turns me off.

  16. Heh, what a coincidence, I was just listening to Dimmu Borgir’s ‘In Sorte Diaboli’, wich means ‘in direct contact with the devil’. Anyway, I think it was okay, but not very interesting. And i’m not going to follow your advice, otherwise I have to bring a freaking bible to my weekly priest owning lessons. you don’t know how much that weighs, do you? (not so much, but i’m too lazy.)

  17. I really didn’t like this pasta at all.

    This IS how Hollywood portrays it.
    The “advice” at the end was comedic.
    Wasn’t creepy at all. D;

  18. Even then it is still comical, since no one fights priests to begin with. Perhaps if there was some fad where you knock the everloving shit out of Father Troy every Sunday, but that is clearly not the case, thus the scare factor is totally diminished.

  19. Rape My Shitter

    Hey I liked this one :/

    Maybe the end isn’t comical if you stretch your mind muscles to make it think, “You know, this ‘priest’ is really a demon, so he’s probably doing some serious shit, so you don’t wanna try to tango with this muhfugga.”

  20. Priest Fighter

    Aww man…. does this mean I can’t fight anymore priests?
    I was gonna be the world champion priest fighter.

  21. hahaha. “don’t fight priests! keep a bible on you AT ALL TIMES fooooor 12 days!”

    wtfffff, stupid pasta is stupid

  22. Damn, this rule about no more fighting priests makes me angry enough to piledrive one of them through a flaming table…Oh wait.

  23. I really like how it says that exorcisms are not anything like how Hollywood portrays them… and then immediately sets our with what is essentially a paraphrase of the ending of the Exorcist… which is one of very few movies where exorcisms take place. Well done.

  24. I thought of child molestation, too. When I read the story, that is, I don’t really think of it that often.
    According to my Shit-O-Metre, this pasta’s shit-y-ness ranks OVER NINE THOUSAAAANNNNDDD!!!!11!!!one!!!

  25. You know, I’ve met plenty of priests, but I’ve never noticed them having any sort of sort of spiritual connection. Unless you mean their connection to a bottle of whiskey


  27. same hackeronhacker, something new about this interests me, like someone exorcised to demon of stale pastas from this site.

  28. I expected it to be a joke, and the end was, truthfully,slightly comical.

    Why the Hell would I wanna fight a priest???
    I mean jeez really.

  29. The ending killed it. Who makes a moral of a story; “fight with a preist and they’ll fuck you up”?

  30. Uh… In the Exorcist, the most well known movie about exorcism, the demon leaves the girl enters the priest’s body at the end. So… you meant it’s exactly the way Hollywood portrays it?

  31. MisterVercetti

    The last paragraph completely ruined what could otherwise have been an excellent pasta.

    “Don’t fight priests”? Why would we want to anyway?

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