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Don’t



Estimated reading time — 3 minutes

Don’t is a contraction we hear all too much. As a child, it was all I heard. “Don’t play with this” “Don’t touch that” “Don’t go here” etc. It was my father’s favorite word. As I grew older, I stopped taking it seriously. I realized if I did what my father told me not to, everything would turn out better than expected, by both him and I. Yet he continued to say it, I suppose by force of habit.

At the age of 18 years old he gave me a necklace. He said that it belonged to my late mother, and at both of their requests I was not to have it until I was 18. It was simple enough, a gold heart locket with a rose engraved on the front. He warned me never to take off, or rather “Don’t take it off” was what he said. I never expected I would take it off, because it was so beautiful and reminded me of my mother. I wore it everywhere, even to bed and in the shower. As you would expect, one day it disappeared.

Devastation filled my heart, followed by confusion. How could it have been lost? I went to bed wearing it last night, and this morning it’s vanished. I did not tell my father, as I knew it would crush him. This was the biggest mistake I have ever made.

Needless to say I could not sleep that night. The atmosphere of the room felt cold and unwelcoming. The other problem, was that my ears started ringing. Not the type you experience after a loud concert, or after your ears pop however. It sounded like a high pitched moaning. I put in ear plugs, and it stopped. Finally I fell asleep, but it was not peaceful. I consistently woke in a sweat during the night, at least 5 times. There were no dreams I could remember to help me figure out why. When I finally decided to stop trying for sleep, I went for a walk. The moment I stepped outside I felt worse. Yes it was dark out because it was 2 in the morning. But I have never seen such a pitch black sky in my life. The moon and stars did not exist. I brought a lighter with me, so I could have a cigarette and try to calm down. The lighter would not catch. I supposed it was out, so I ran back and got matches. Once outside, I tried them. They did not work either. After this, I noticed not just the sky was pitch black. Everything was. I could not see a thing; it was as if I was standing inside of a 4 walled room that was painted black. That is the last thing I remember.

I awoke in my bed at 8 o’ clock, as I had class at 10AM. I was too tired to notice my father was standing over my bed. He screamed, and this is when I noticed him. This scream sounded as if a banshee was being burned with acid. It was the ringing I had heard earlier. This went on for about ten minutes, as I stayed there paralyzed. This was not due to fear. He cocked his head to the side and smiled. Then he started melting, like a candle that has been lit. While melting, he said, “I told you. I told you don’t take it off. Now, you’ll die like your mother.”

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With that, the melting thing I called my father walked to my side of the bed. I saw the black again. The blackest of blacks was all I could see, along with my candle of a father. He, or rather it, said “Look what you’ve done. You took the light from his world. Just like your mother. I lived inside of him, I was his evil. I cursed everyone he ever loved. And that lock protected them, until they doubted him enough to take it off. Except you. I took it off you myself because I was strong enough. I took him over, and he is no more. You are mine.”

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Headline: Home Tribune News
Father and Daughter Found Dead
-Tim and Shelly Norbin were found dead in their home Tuesday night, at 12:00 AM. In place of ears they had gaping holes filled with blood and brain matter. There is no current cause of death. Even suicide cannot be considered as their bodies were deflated. It was as if someone has sucked the life out of them. George Pasi found the bodies and stated, “They were such good people, and dearest friends of mine. I plan to continue Tim’s legacy, as I consider myself almost exactly like him, although maybe I have a darker sense of humor”

Credit To: Razi

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26 thoughts on “Don’t”

  1. *Yawns* Another one of these, eh? Can the author tell me why this all happened? But at least he tried to add depth to the story.

  2. I guess that having “gaping holes filled with blood and brain matter” instead of ears is a likely cause of death…
    Aside from that, it’s hard to point out just how many logic flaws this story has.
    We could start from the black box ending (the narrator was dead before she even started to tell the story, so how did she tell it?), or mention the fact that for some reason no protection was needed until she was 18 (but still she was not the only one in danger, so how did that work?) and that actually the protection was pretty lame if the demon itself could just take it away.
    And if the demon wanted to kill the father? What prevented it to, since it was the daughter who had the locket (and for some years not even her)?
    And what, anyway, has “don’t” to do with the story? The whole introduction is totally unrelated with the events, also because the narrator really doesn’t take the locket off, as she has been asked to.

  3. Am I seriously the only one who thought the ending was ridiculous? That little blurb in the paper? I mean, what editor in his right mind would write that? “In place of ears they had gaping holes filled with blood and brain matter.” Seriously?

    Ugh. This was just plain awful.

  4. Yeah, I was intrigued at the beginning, but the story fell flat in basicaly every regard.

    Why are we talking about your dad “don’t”-ing you at the beginning? Seriously does not tie in with anything else ever.

    Also, this is stupid:
    “I did not tell my father, as I knew it would crush him. This was the biggest mistake I have ever made.”
    – No, not telling your dad (who is possessed by a demon strong enough to control him completely and ignore the magical locket thing) is the only thing that kept you alive an extra day or so.

    Anyway, try again. But don’t submit it next time, or the time after that either, probably. Practice a bit, then share.

  5. The whole locket protection thing is a good idea and has been used in several stories as old as time, meaning, if it’s done well it will sell. This story lacked… flow, a sense of demise, mounting suspense & character development to name a few things. Too much telling and not enough showing. I’d suggest doing some internet homework on the difference. Had potential at the get-go but then lost my attention. Keep writing though.

  6. For anyone who doesn’t understand: Dear old Dad has a demon living inside him. The locket protects people from the demon until they take it off. Demon gets stronger by feeding on dad’s negative emotions. Demon gets strong enough to remove the locket by itself, kills them both. Neighbor is demon’s new host. Right?

  7. Weak! What’s with “Don’t”? The word wasn’t even tied into the rest of the story and the ending was just plain sad

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