Finally, I’m home. After working a late night, I finally finished a project that my boss pushed on me. It was all worth it though, because I had a great day ahead of me. The part I was most excited for though, was seeing my son. I finally won the custody battle against my ex-wife, so now I actually get to see him. I fixed up my old spare bedroom for him, although it looked bland in all white. I figured we would have some spare time later and we could make any changes he wanted. I lumbered up the stairs, and when he finally heard I was here, he quickly called me into his room.
“Daddy, I can’t sleep, there’s a monster in the window!”
Monsters, huh, that’s original for a kid.
“Oh don’t worry about that, it’s just the tree’s branches blowing in the wind, see?”
I pointed and showed him the branch tapping against the window pane. He trusted me enough to calm himself down, and I kissed him good night. Finally, time for sleep, I could hardly even see straight at this point. I walked across the hallway, and collapsed into my bed. I had too much on my plate to be dealing with monsters. I had to go with him to school the next day to get him signed up in our district, I had to buy him school clothes, I couldn’t even think straight. That’s when I heard him calling again. Man, I love the kid and all, but I needed some sleep!
“Daddy, the monster is back again!” he shrieked.
I looked to the window: nope, nothing but the tree’s branches. I walked over, and to prove it to him, I opened the window and turned back to him.
“See, it’s nothing but the tree, I told you, now go to sleep, you’ve got school in the morning.”
He was still a little startled from what I could see, but what could I do, I was just too damn tired. Again, I fell into the comfort of my bed. Then I heard a cry, and I had just had enough.
“Fine, I’ll just sleep in your bed with you, if you see any monsters, just hold tight to me.”
I walked back into his room, pulled back his red blanket, and lay next to the kid.
While I lay, eyes closed, my mind started wandering. Didn’t I buy white sheets for the bed? I looked at my son’s slit neck and realized my mistake. That’s when I heard the monster, except it wasn’t tapping at the glass; it was the footsteps from the opened window. I couldn’t help but laugh, how didn’t I realize I had no trees in my yard?
Credit To: Legendd
DERPNOTE: This pasta is a Crappypasta Success Story. That means that it received enough upvotes during its time on Crappypasta for it to be posted on the main archive. You can find its Crappypasta entry here. Thanks, everyone!
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83 thoughts on “Branches in the Wind”
I dont really understand it
I’ve been sleep deprived before (5 days without sleep) so I know what the Dad is going through there, but why didn’t he have the least bit of reaction to, “Weren’t the sheets white? Oh, the kid’s throat is slit?” Mine would have been screaming and possibly chasing the noise with the nearest sharp object.
Sad :( lolz he just laughed!? Oh my gosh… what happens next : To
As soon as he said red blanket i knew it
I thought this was really good til that part where he says he has no trees like how the f do u become confused about that suddenly? It just seemed unrealistic and didn’t seem to make sense.
Ellie, just get out and don’t post here again until you’re older. People get easily irritated, and unless I’m blind and you’re just a troll, I rest my case.
Not bad, I kind of wish I found out what the monster was but still.
Good plot seems like it was just pounded into the keyboard right then and there because the writer was bored. 5/10 good plot but needs to be rewritten
“I couldn’t help but laugh” – Why!? why did you use this sentence?!
other than that not bad!
BUT WHO WAS TREE
This story is bad. I’ve heard the ‘There are no trees outside my window’ gag about three times already. The grammar is poor too, it didn’t convey its’ story properly at all. What does “Foot steps from the opened window” mean?
THEN WHO WAS TREE?!?!?!
First, to all your naysayers, the dad laughed because of his stupidity and he saw his impending doom before him.
Secondly, I think that the ‘tree’ isn’t really a tree at all. Perhaps it is a very skinny, thin creature, and looks like a tree-branch in the dead of night. Maybe it’s a demon. Demons are known to be manipulative and cunning. This may be why he slit the son’s throat instead of crashing through the window in a brute rampage. I love creepy, planned out horror rather than, “Blah! I iz monstah! I iz gona eatz u! Better start runnin!”
BUT THEN WHO WAS TREE?
good thing i live in a fourth flour apartment no trees and no jeff the killer going through my window
How the hell did this get onto Crappypasta? It’s better than “The Wraith”, which should’ve been put onto Crappypasta.
Haha, I enjoyed this thoroughly.
I’m seeing a LOT of really dumb comments. I think I understand where the writer is coming from when he wrote the story.
Let me confront the major ‘problems’ a lot of people seem to be having with the story.
1. ‘Was it a tree or not’
I believe that it was a tree- But not a regular tree. A paranormal tree that can move? Kills kids? Understandable? That’s how I took it.
2. ‘He laughed at the death of his kid?’
You’re tired, in bed with your son wrapped up in a blanket drenched in his blood and have only just realized he’s dead. That’s probably going to fuck you up a bit. Besides that, he was likely shocked and terrified.
3. ‘He didn’t realize that he didn’t have any trees?’
Again, he’s tired. Late night. Finishing a project that his boss had PUSHED on him. Very likely stressed. He JUST won custody. His son is complaining about a monster. Between all these things, do you think your mind would be clear enough to realize your yard doesn’t have a tree? I mean, it’s not impossible to realize, but give him a break.
I would have loved the plot had the errors not distracted me. The changing of tenses was most annoying. The father kept changing attitudes toward his son (understandable but not adequately justified), and his sudden need for sleep was too abrupt to sell. It is also hard to believe he didn’t notice his son disfigured and covered in blood. The entire bed sheet would not be dyed a consistent shade of red so as to fool the father. I did like the story, but I wish it was better. 6/10
So he laughed when he found his son dead……. Father of the year everybody!
Hah my sons got a slit throat and is slowly dying. Might aswell laugh at the fact i didnt notice i had trees, i wont call for help. Just laugh…
HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL
Did he pick the kid up from school? Where’s the babysitter? How old is the kid? Left way to much out. Too tired after winning a court battle to get your kid, interesting. I’m assuming the author is not a dad or if they are they are a terrible one. A dad would do anything for his child, especially considering the circumstances.
That is truly a man that doesn’t give a damn.
Son dead? PSSH bitch please im just going back to sleep and laugh.
The ending with the footstep is not good, I think you should change it a bit like: he doesn’t hear the tap anymore, but he’s hearing the noise of licking your own lips next to his dead son(maybe the monster gonna eat him or drink the blood of the kid)
this really is a fairly simple concept, but really those are always the best.
It was creepy for me but I feel like if the dad was so happy to have won his son in the custody battle, why wasnt he upset at all that his son was dead, he just laughed? That was confusing, but overall 8/10
Your all so fussy, I thought this was a brilliant pasta. No way it deserved to be a crappypasta…
Some of you guys seem really dense. The tree branch he saw could have been the monster hanging from the sound of the house and having his arm sticking out or something. As far as the father laughing it was out of hysteria and realizing his impending doom.
That is really creepy had a few flaws like the monster…monster… let me guess it was Sherlocks holmes dead Chupacabra.!,,
How did I not realise I didn’t have any branches in my back yard? LOL
That’s a really patient monster. Hey, but what do I know? It was good enough to be posted here so that has to say something about the dedication of the writer.
Very creepy. this got me scared, didnt see no trees in the yard coming
Oh come on – he laughed?!! I don’t think so.
BUT THEN WHO WAS TREE???
“I looked to the window: nope, nothing but the tree’s branches. I walked over, and to prove it to him, I opened the window and turned back to him.”
“I couldn’t help but laugh, how didn’t I realize I had no trees in my yard?”
…Exactly what did the man see when he opened the window originally? The choices either seem to be (a) a tree or (b) a monster or (c) nothing. Nothing is ruled out as the man was claiming it was a tree branch. So that means he either saw a tree branch, and thus had a tree, or he saw the monster directly, which results in it being a tad silly (even in his tired state) that he claims it’s nothing more than a tree branch.
On an alternative note, maybe the monster was hiding on the side of the building and brought a tree branch with him and kept hitting the window with it? That’s about the only thing I can think of that makes that make sense.
…Ooooor maybe it was a monster that LOOKED like a tree? Camouflage and all that, you know. Admittedly he’s still stupid for not remembering that he doesn’t have any trees on his property, but still…
@justrealistic, I know you can see the twist a mile away, but still, if you can get off Crappypasta, you’re not that bad of a writer, I mean, have you seen the stuff there? Seriously, this was a good pasta, but could use a bit more work.
The Willow Men return!!!
It was decent but you could see the twist from a mile away
is it jeff the killer
it is moderate. the visual imagery is the only reason it belongs here. :) laughing at the end: no. could’ve also gone deeper into the story u know? “my kid moved in. he died the first night living with me. best father award would go to me, but i died too.”
obviously dads not really the smartest. and it sounds like this was inspired by the babysitter who sees the clown statue and parents realize they dont have a clown statue. Not bad , not that great
I’m more creeped by the father at the..s.I mean one: he didn’t have trees and he said there were (no onea,that tired)
And two..insane much….. I mean….he’s more a monster than what killed his son, you just don’t lol
It was decent, but the way it ended just gave me an uneasy feeling..
Creative. It sounds familiar but I cant remember where I heard it. All I have to say is the build-up really sucked but it gave a good payoff without a letdown.
Dan Oudda Dan
i think the laugh could be added up to shock and the sudden realization of his own imminent death. my issue with this story… what the hell kind of child preying monster just slits their victims throat and goes on their merry way? kids are good eating.
So the dad grabbed blood stained sheets and doesn’t feel the wetness?
“I pointed and showed him the branch tapping against the window pane.”
What the hell was he showing his kid, then? He says at the end there are no trees in his yard, something he conveniently forgot, but shows him a branch? If it was supposed to be a finger or something, the dad is an even bigger laughing-at-my-kid-being-dead idiot than I thought.
I agree with everyone who said the laughing part at the end was unbelievable.
I’m also not sure how much I buy that someone would just leave their window open at night. I know I wouldn’t.
The writing left much to be desired, there were a few grammar mistakes just poor writing that would have done well in a rewrite, but this story, as is, probably is good enough for this site anyway.
The ending was pretty nice and ironic, although predictable.
The narrator laughed at his sons slit neck?? 0:
He’s basically gone insane that’s what it’s trying to say I think.
Ummm. hes laughing cuz hes about to die.
I think he`s laughing because of the irony.There really was a monster so he laughed..you know. the “oh how stupid of me haha” moment .__.
Who laughs under they find out their kid is dead?
When the story was made to humor in the end even though he lead the readers to believe this would be a genuinely creepy story. I found it hilarious, I was expecting something serious but in the end the guy forgets about his impending death and only laughs at himself for not noticing something that shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
“Damn I’m stupid lol”.
Congratulations!! Keep writing. Hope to see better work from you next time :)
If you treat this piece as if it was written this way intentionally, it’s perfectly ingenious!
This story represents an issue I have with many stories here. It’s well written and sets up a good fright, but in the end offers no explanation regarding where the monster/bad man/ etc. came from. That’s the really hard part of writing horror, but it’s what gets a story the 9 and 10 from me……
It’s not easy to get out of crappypasta. This is an accomplishment.
i really liked this one, could have been actually written better but the premise was good!! :)
Wow, sweet and to the point. I like the twist at the end. Could have used more of a buildup though.
who likes adventure time!!??!!?? :D
hey aww that a great storie im guessing its about The Slender Man..??
No, if it were about Slenderman, we would have just taken the child instead of murdered them in their bed.
The story has good bones, but needs fleshed out a bit. Also, I hope the mom is the killer.
Send it back to crappy pasta.
Not bad at all, I suggest working on your grammar though. There were so many places I saw that required a question mark, or to start a new sentence and it threw me off a little. Also, you shouldn’t overuse words when describing something instead of saying “bland” twice, try replacing one of them with a synonym or more descriptive words. Again, not bad, but some edits would have made this much better.
“I couldn’t help but laugh how I didn’t realize.. ”
There were no trees in the back yard ?. Never saw that one coming.
Decent pasta is decent.
That was decent and slightly spooky.
The attitude of the narrator was irritating. He referred to his son as the “kid” and laughs after he finds his child dead. If I were the judge, I’d not give this man custody.
It’s strange how he referee to him as “the kid” but it shows how tired and irritated he was.
And I believe he was actually laughing at the irony of his mistake, knowing what his own fate was now…
Should’ve just stayed crappypasta.
It’s a decent story as is, but I’m still sad it didn’t get the rewritten ending that it deserved. As is, it ends awkwardly.
That’s just crap!
this is an average pasta but I found it surprisingly creepy to read with the palm tree swaying right outside my window…
It’s just the trees son. Wait a sec… I HAVE NO TREES!