The Thing That Stalks The Fields
It was a few weeks ago that the hay bales started creeping slowly away from the house. Every morning when I woke up, each had moved a few hundred feet from where it was before. I assumed it was pranksters with nothing better to do, and I so I ignored it. Within a few days, though, the bales began to approach the boundaries of the farm. I was tired of the whole game by then, and decided to move them back. It took a tedious hour to bring them all from where they were to over near the house again, and by the time I was done I was ready to snap the neck of whatever little pissant was deciding to screw with me.
The next morning, I found each and every one of my horses messily decapitated. The smell was what woke me up. Each one was slumped over against the side of its stall. There were no signs of the heads. I spent the rest of the day cleaning up the mess and burying the remains. It was only when I was done that I noticed the bales of hay had all returned to their positions from the day before, scattered far out into the fields. This time I left them where they were.
That night I sat on my porch with my shotgun in hand and a pot of coffee on the table beside me. I sat for hours, straining my eyes into the fields to catch a glimpse of who was moving my hay bales. Finally, I was beginning to nod off. I would have, but just as my eyes began to close I heard a clamor and a rustling of trees from the nearby woods. I leaned forward, my heart racing with excitement; I was going to catch the bastard. I fumbled with my gun and fidgeted in my seat, waiting anxiously for whoever it was to get close enough to ambush. It was only when the thing got close enough for me to make out its silhouette in the dark that I was frozen still. The thing that crept into my fields from the nearby woods didn’t seem to notice me sitting there. It stalked, hunched and deliberate, through the field with the posture of a tiptoeing thief. If not for the fact that it must have towered to over ten feet tall even in its crouched position, it might have seemed almost frail. The thinness of its arms and legs and the emaciated, caved-in quality of its chest reminded me of a starving animal. Still, this thing was undeniably strong, and I watched it hoist each bale up into its arms with ease, and set it down carefully a while away, taking only a few strides to cover the distance. I watched it work, moving each bale thoughtfully. Every once in a while it would straighten up to look around at the other bales’ positions in the field, before adjusting the one it was working on ever so slightly.
Before it left, it looked towards the house. I felt its eyes sweep over me in the dark, but whether it saw me or not I couldn’t tell. Then, it turned silently and crept back the way it came, disappearing into the dark of the woods. It took me an hour before I had the courage to move at all. I went inside after a while, but didn’t sleep that night. It was only when the sun rose that I dared step off my porch into the fields. The hay bales were where it left them. Strangely, it didn’t move them as far as it had in the previous days. They were approaching something invisible in the fields, and as I looked at them I realized that they seemed to be marking some line. Indeed, as I walked around the house, I saw the distinct circle that they formed with me at the center. At first I thought the bales were just being haphazardly moved away from the house, but now I could see that they were instead being moved towards some boundary. The thing was sending me a message. I slept uneasily that night, and only because I was exhausted.
The next morning the bales hadn’t moved at all. They didn’t move at all for the rest of that week, in fact. They were finally where the thing wanted them. I made myself sick trying to interpret them. Why would this thing expend so much energy moving my hay bales, and threaten me with such violence should I try to interfere? Killing my horses was just that - a threat. An intelligent threat, at that. It knew what would scare me, and it knew that I would understand the implications.
The sound of an automobile working its way along the road to my farm one morning gave me a little rush of excitement. I’d been planning to abandon the farm since I saw the thing, but I couldn’t hope to leave on foot without risking it treating me like it treated my horses. But, if I could get in the car with whoever was coming my way, I might be able to escape before it could stop me. I didn’t know or care who it was. I decided that the moment they stopped the car, I would jump in the passenger’s seat and tell them to get the hell out of here. I didn’t get the chance.
The car worked its way slowly along the road, trundling across the uneven ground. I urged it silently to hurry. It was when it passed between the two bales placed on either side of the road that I began to hear a booming clatter from the woods. The thing burst suddenly from between the trees, sprinting on all four of its terrible, gangly limbs towards the car. Within a few seconds it was there, pouncing on the automobile like a predatory cat. Within moments it was picking and peeling the vehicle’s steel frame apart, working to get at the driver. The man, whoever he was, screamed all the while and I could hear him even over the crunching of metal and the shattering of glass. It was only when the thing crushed him carelessly in its hand that the screaming stopped. It tossed him away, and straightened up to look at me once again. In the sunlight, I could see the inhumanity of it. It was composed entirely of something awful and alive which was lashed together in a messy semblance of a human form. Whatever it was made of looked so polished and hard, that if it weren’t for the minute writhing of the stuff, I’d think it was made of granite.
The thing retreated back into the woods, and I was left to my shock. My eyes wandered to where the car sat, the engine still sputtering, between two of the hay bales. Suddenly, I understood. The message was clear. I am this thing’s captive, and I am not allowed visitors. Nothing may cross the borders it has set. I’m trapped here, by the thing that stalks the fields, and it demands nothing except that I never leave. Still, I don’t know if I can handle being that thing’s canary. I’ve been thinking hard for the last few days since I saw it crush that man’s chest, and silence him before he could finish his scream. If I crossed the hay bale border, it’d probably do the same. It’d smash my skull before I could put my hands up to protect myself. It’d go and find a new pet, and probably keep looking until it found someone who could stand knowing that it was waiting just outside, watching it at all hours with its shiny, insect eyes.
I’ve been thinking hard for the last few days, and I might just make a run for it.
Credited to David Feuling at http://www.ss-comic.com/fiction.html
1ST YES! WOOOOOO!
First!
BUT WHO WAS THING?
etc. etc.
Not bad, though I generally don’t like creature pastas.
FIRST PHONE
I think this may be my new favorite….
I loved it.
Good story, but the climax/ending came a little too fast, and how the protagonist figured out the motives of the creature is fuzzy.
7/10
My god finally, a great pasta
very good pasta…loved the twist at the end….
Nice.
Very good. The ending was good, but they always get rushed.
THEN WHO WAS MAN IN CAR?
He got screwed up pretty bad
Om nom nom nom!
Deliciously boring, I’d call it.
6/10
True fact; you can’t wake up from smelling something.
TAAAANK!!
…What?? I don’t get the “twist” at the end. It had so much potential with the beautiful imagery and skilled detailing, but then it just picked me up by the shirt collar, and tossed me into a river. It was like the author all of a sudden remembered he needed to knit his mom a sweater and made up a quick ending to get it done and over with. A pasta like this deserves a more decent ending.
Hmmmmmm.
This pasta entertained me very well, and I feel I should leave a comment.
…I’m just not entirely certain WHAT I should say about it, though >.>
@Mmmm Not a true fact; In the summer my dad and I leave our windows open to let in fresh at night while we sleep, and one night a skunk sprayed right beneath his window, so the smell came in. It was so bad, it woke him up and he choked and gagged until it left.
True fact; you can indeed wake up from smelling something.
http://www.bbcfocusmagazine.com/qa/can-smell-wake-you
Great pasta, but what kind of stupid asshole lives alone on a farm with no car and no phone?
@Mmmm: It’s totally possible to wake up from a smell. Also, true fact is redundent.
I like.
Wish there were moar.
um, I took it as as the thing was protecting the farmer
This one was actually rather good, but it would have been better if the thing had killed someone else before he knew what it was trying to kill him, and it would have been better if the thing had a better description of it
true fact: yes, you can wake up from smelling something.
retard who listens and abheres to all “scientific facts”
Not even smelling salts?
How cute.
8/10.
Certainly better than the ones we’ve been getting lately
goddamn it’s about time we get some good pasta up in here.
Title reminds me of “He Who Walks Behind The Rows” a la Children of the Corn.
On the whole, I liked it. It was direct, simply worded, and there were very few mistakes - I tend to favor works with heavier description, but your word choice fit the speaker well. It could have been a bit more exciting, but I’m fond of beastie stories and this one certainly has potential. You’ve piqued my interest, good writer. I am hungry for more.
To everyone complaining: Just shaddup. It’s a heck of a lot better than ANYTHING on here in months.
I love how he said he is going to make a run for it…
Then the next story below is called “Do Try.”
;D
8/10; Nice ending.
Shitteh pasta is shitteh.
Nice.
The ending kind of sucked.
“True fact; you can’t wake up from smelling something.”
xD I lol’d so hard.
I thought it was a great pasta, though the ending came a little too fast, ended too abruptly.
Overall, very nice, I hope to see more of this quality
8/10
-2 for the rushed ending
I agree with “so basically raep?”., however, I liked this a LOT. First decent pasta here in a while.
I thought of Slenderman here but it couldn’t be?
Good, but not great.
I’d like to know, though, how does the farmer know of the creatures intentions?
ok
i dont know how i feel about this
not really scary but not that bad.
i have an overly high opinion of myself
not true. they have fire alarms for deaf people that release the strong odor of wasabi. it worked on sleeping test subjects.
“and I so I ignored it.”
I still liked this.
Do it do it do it do it!
@Mmmm: Actually, you can. I woke up to the smell of vomit once, and another time I woke up from the smell of the fact that my dog had pooped in my room.
Just because it’s better than what’s been recently posted doesn’t mean it’s any good.
The buildup was really, really good but the end is a little lacking.
HA! I do’t live on a farm, I live in a city! Mr. Beastie there won’t go after me!
Anyway, I like the pont LetItBe made of the arragemnet of the stories. Good catch. Also, someone said he was stupid for not having a phone or family, but isn’t that better. If he had either of those two things- let’s ust say he has a wife- remember what happened to his horsies?? *shudders* Yeah, I guess I could nom a little more considering the pastas that are basicly labled : “Read me and you’ll get food poisoning!” Bravo
*don’t
*point
*just
Failing with overloading ammount of typs!!! :3
Best creepypasta in a long, long time. I hope this level of quality continues. Great job, author!
I liked this one a lot. I’ll agree with some of the above posters; I’d love to see this made a bit longer. I was also thinking like “What” did, and was wondering when we’d see anm obvious Slender Man reference. Well done
Fantastic story, the last line shows the sheer desperateness of the narrator. He’s willing to die rather than become the thing’s captive. The placing of the bales was mysterious and suspenseful, well written and I hope to read more.
>>It was composed entirely of SomethingAwful
Lol’d.
Fucking awesome pasta.
I loved it.
Hey I live on a farm!
….Oh shit.
Sigh… I wish we had those good old pastas, back. You know, the ones from a year ago? But, I guess
Gah! It keeps posting before I’m done! Anyway, as I was saying, I guess if the stories continue, this way, we’ll have those pastas again soon! Keep getting better!
Oh, and sorry about the frequent mistakes with the postings. This computer fails!
lol I like seeing my name on recent commenters! Muhahaha must keep comenting on different things!!!
If he was being held captive, surely he could have called de kaps? (the police)
8/10
Good story but why was a car coming and how does he figure out the creature is keeping as a pet so easily.
@Bertski: The car could have been the mailman delivering the mail, and it was an educated guess fueled by the fact that the thing made a perfect circle out of the bales with him in the middle and anything that came in it killed but it left him alone.
Very good, i really liked this one, its a mile ahead of anything we’ve had on here in a very long time. I would like to see it fleshed out into something longer deeper and more involved.
I wish it were longer.
Perfect with the exception of the very end, the last line was sort of dull. Too long to truly be pasta but well written enough to keep me interested. 9.5/10, points off only for the last line.
BTW, perhaps this site is haunted but i have had to wipe this computer several times since I posted last and furthermore, I have had my IP address changed a fair few as well. How and why does it still remember the name I always comment as? It’s kinds weird IMO.
I liked it, kinda reminded me of Jeepers Creepers
GO ON RUN I DARE YOU
@Heywood Jablome = Amish.
I liked this pasta; I didn’t head over heels love it, but it was well written and I enjoyed it. Very nice.
Agree with Tram. It was really, really good, but the realization is very bland. I think all us readers knew, yes, he was circling him. The narrator is a bit stupid since he pretty much figured it out himself, just didn’t put it into the same words till the end.
So narrator had mother of all guard dogs? My advice is: there are very few problems you can’t solve with a flamethrower and some death metal playing in the background. Hmm need 2 invent a way to play music in the back of the mind…
I loved the idea of the lanky but strong creature. They hay bales was good too. But there are some main things that I think would be best to clean up in order to make the story have more suspense. With much due regard, two things that really got to me:
1. “I assumed it was pranksters with nothing better to do…” This disengaged me immensely. I thought “cliche, unoriginal, the usual unauthoritative, oblivious main character in a thriller.” Perhaps, mention instead, a state of knowing. Create anti-irony in which the character needs to know more than the audience or we are disengaged.
2. “The next morning, I found each and every one of my horses messily decapitated. The smell was what woke me up. ” If you were to switch the order of these two sentences, again a build of suspense would latch the audience immediately and the appeal to senses as the opening line will wake the speaker and the audience up with anticipation.
Loved the first few paragraphs. Despised the ending. Could use a bit of fleshing out.
Also, I don’t feel that it was implied that the monster was keeping him captive. I felt that the monster was protecting him or something. That needs to be elaborated a bit more.
this pasta was good, very creepy and brix were shat, 9/10
Horrible writing. Horrible story. I can’t believe this is getting so much positive feedback.
I actually really like this pasta. Most of the stories I read here are of overdone concept. Wasn’t the case with this one, though.
Not bad. Reminded me of Slenderman though, couldn’t be…
could it?
RUN FOREST RUN.
Could have introduced the horse and the car better, like build a little suspense instead of just “Oh hey they died”. It would have been better if he had smelled them, before he found them.
Just a little help, great pasta! Yummy yummy sauce
why not just shoot the motherfucker once it runs out
I mean seriously
Solution: burn the forest down.
He’s a farmer, he has to have whiskey.
Also, tractor
I’m not quite sure how I feel about this one. The plot was amazing, but it could have been way, way, wayyyyy longer.
And I kinda wasn’t scared of it… dunno why.
i actually kind of liked this one, despite it having a couple of errors here and there. The concept of someone virtually away from the civilized world (i apologize to the farmers, i didn’t know how to describe that better) being held captive by something that is somehow invisible, yet doesn’t mind going out in the sun like characters in many stories and seems to be always watching, is interesting and creepy.
I give it a 6/10.
These are the two main errors i noticed.
It is unrealistic that the protagonist is awoken by the smell of the decapitated horses. Unless he lived very close to the animal’s stall, and the thing happened overnight, it is impossible for the smell to be so strong, at the point of even waking him up. It would take at least 2-3 days of rotting in the sun for the corpses to be so smelly. If i’m wrong on this one, i apologize.
Also, the part where he calls the fact of the creature killing his horses an “intelligent threat”. Why of course. No one would think of it being a threat after finding all their horses methodically killed overnight after they did something. It takes a smart man to connect the dots, huh?
An intelligent threat would have been, maybe, tearing the protagonist’s scarecrow apart in many little pieces (if he has hay bales, i am also inclined to think he has at least a scarecrow too) or maybe leaving marks or scratches on the ground next to his house, or clearly sabotating his car or something. THIS is an intelligent threat.
not perfect, but a shit ton better than what we’ve been getting recently.
8/10
plz to not rush the endings kthx
Awwww, field-thing has a cruuuush. <3
I don’t know. The way that the “thing” was described made it seem far too adorable to be even slightly unnerving. “If not for the fact that it must have towered to over ten feet tall even in its crouched position, it might have seemed almost frail.” D’awwww.
Otherwise, it was well-written enough but seemed to flounder. It would be altogether forgettable to me if it wasn’t so ironically and unintentionally sweet.
It was great really, I liked it, but…. somthing that possibly could have been cleared up before the ending would be more about the creature and why exactly it was protecting the farm/this person? This part did’nt make much sense to me, that’s all. Just an opinon…
love these…this needs a part 2
Great pasta! I would definitely nom again.
PART 2! Ending left me with this face->
I need to know what effing happens!
I really liked this, the only thing that bothered me is that he doesn’t seem to worked up about his horses being decapitated. Like he’ll sit on his porch with a shotgun ready to shoot whoever has been moving his hay bales, but you can cut off the heads of several animals and you’re okay.
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO INSTANTLY THOUGHT JACK SKELLINGTON AT THE DESCRIPTION OF THE CREATURE
…Yes? Okay, then. :L
This was awesome, though, and I loved it. 9/10 c:
bravo i loved this
the malevolent curiosity that you have bestowed upon that thing is fantastic
@K.K
“*don’t
*point
*just
Failing with overloading ammount of typs!!! :3″
Do you mean “amount” and “typos”??
FAIL!!
HarglBlargl took the words right outta my mouth. The creature sounds more sweet than scary. I think he just wanted a friend. I wouldn’t mind being some field monster’s pet. <3
@ ;A;
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get”
apparently you can get a thing stalking you if you live on a farm XDD
this is really good though, a bit too Sci-fy for me, but really good.
pretty fucking good man.
wow….i thought this was fantastic, awesome job!
I’d prefere to see what would happen when people start noticing missing people (the guy in the car) and authorities come down. I would of been nice to see a confrentation, and maybe a bit more of a solution on why the thing is doing that
run like the wind man run like the wind
This is reminiscent of Pumpkinhead.
Lovely piece, over a little too soon.
I think that the creature was just protecting the farmer. Maybe the man in the car was up to no good. I feel like the thing just wants to be friends, but hasn’t figured out how not to be scary.
hmmmm… i loved the idea of the story but wth kinda ending was that? sorry if i’m being harsh especially because i couldn’t write anything like this in 100 years. but it ended on a poitless sentence? i decided to leave? thats it? soooooooooo much potential to be a great story. grebbed my attention from the beginning i just wish you would’ve expanded on it cause it was great
Not bad overall, the buildup was great, the plot intriguing, and the story made almost believable. However, it’s just lacking a certain “je ne sais quoi” that would make it amazing. Has potential, but that potential was not fully reached. Even so, I’d give it a solid 8/10. Good job, and keep writing.
Very good story, but I had to stop at the bit where the car passed the hay bales and actually draw a diagram. I couldn’t figure out how there could be a hay bale on each side of the road if the bales are encircling the house. But now I understand, if the road disects the circle perimeter, it works…. though the bales would be at an angle to each other.
Overall, very good story, I liked it a lot. But I do agree, it ended rather abruptly.
So how would the guy eat, if the creature intended to keep him captive would it provide for him.
Tall? Thin? Frail? Unnaturally stong and swift?
Was it wearing a suit, by any chance?