• Vaughn.

    I have to admit, I’m a big fan of this piece. Very well written and definitely engaging enough to keep me reading without wanting to stop. Kudos.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
  • http://fishmech.net/test.jpg helpless hysteria

    ok i love this, BUT WHO WAS XEBICO?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -5 (from 7 votes)
  • Grindylow

    But who was typewriter???

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -7 (from 7 votes)
  • apples

    first

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -11 (from 11 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Neat imagery. I thought it was pretty good.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • Geewiz

    Neat imagery. I thought it was pretty good.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
  • SAGE

    My favorite in a long while. Good job! I did notice something though.

    “Beneath me the wall of vapor is changing colors. It seems
    to be lighted by internal fires….”

    lighted = lit ?

    I could be wrong.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 6 votes)
  • Bricks

    It was original, I liked it. Pshaw!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
  • Resi

    Wow.
    The guy must have went insane from typing two separate stories on two separate typewriters.

    I love the description of the fog and the colourful sky.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  • miktar

    But who was… wait… what?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  • Shuriken

    I like it. Mysterious, creepy, and well written. Delicious pasta

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Arancaytar

    It’s creepy, but for that extra immersion you could try putting the alleged “wire” messages into an actual stenographic form.

    “The heaviest mist in the history of the city settled over
    the town at 4 o’clock yesterday afternoon. All traffic has
    stopped and the mist hangs like a pall over everything. Lights of ordinary intensity fail to pierce the fog, which is constantly growing heavier.”

    What they might actually say: “Heavy fog started 0400 yesterday. Traffic stopped. Fog not penetrated by light, and still increases.”

    It’s a news wire, not a diary. :P

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 9 votes)
  • Anonymous

    But who was pshaw?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
  • Shan.

    I’ve read this story in a collection of stories before. Still good.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Anonymous

    was awesome, but i hate stories that ends without letting the reader know what actually happened >_>

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
  • Vintage Future

    It’s good but I was really hoping for something scarey.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • cranes

    gosh, one of the best pastas in a while.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Anonymous

    I love it. And I would definitely like to read more from him.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • Anon

    cool story..usually something like this would leave me saying “Ending was a copout, was expecting more” but in this story somehow you make it seem just fine that it ends this way…good job

    Reminds me a LOT of the original “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • pastamuncher

    @ SAGE.
    i was picturing this whole thing to be in black and white with olod monostereo audio,like twilight zone,so the imrpoper grammar seemed to fit for me,but maybe your right.

    I quite enjoyed it.it isnt so much to be scary,but enough to keep the heart racing to find out the fate of xebico.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Yotan

    I liked this. Very Lovecraft. A pasta that doesn’t require excessive blood/gore to be creepy.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  • Rah!

    This is amazing.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Mystery

    I think that this could have been better. But absolutely delicous pasta none-the-less

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • sam

    That was awesome.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • hoothoot

    I love it! Very creepy and great tension. Pshaw!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
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