• What?

    I did not get it!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
  • Freaky Fred

    I’m not aloud in the woods; instead, I always remain very quiet.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +19 (from 19 votes)
    • Freaky Fred

      And "her secretive secret?" That’s irritatingly redundant. Actually, the whole song was repetitive and mostly unnecessary. As was the doppelganger.
      Together, those things took away most of your pumpkins.
      Which is sad, because I was really enjoying the mood the trail of death was setting for the story.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +9 (from 11 votes)
      • Red Blood Red Neck

        Dopplegangers are redundant by nature aren’t they….?

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Mel

    Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh…

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  • Endoplasmic Reticulum

    Yeah, I hate when that happens.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
    • jade

      haha cool name bro.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
    • Someone you wish u never met

      Highway of the cell… Nice

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • http://www.youtube.com/user/awesomelightning?feature=mhee TeslaCoilGirl

    It wasn’t too bad.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 10 votes)
    • shadow

      yay the author of the wall yay!!!!!!!!!!!!

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Meh..

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  • http://Creepypasta.com Dantaine

    well it seemed a bit too boring. you follow trail of dead animals that you only found once you found the dead bird from the nest. not many people will go searching for the small bird nor will they care. i love animals and all but its a bird. nature has its will so let it be done and dont chase it.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 6 votes)
    • Alex Villa

      I would follow the bird. I mean its a baby bird. Any inquisitive kid would go after it

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  • Secret

    Good story, bad ending.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)
  • Someone you wish u never met

    It had some potential… Just needed some major touch-ups….5/10

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  • Nubcake

    You know, I actually liked this a lot… my kind of weirdness

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +4 (from 6 votes)
  • PointlessUsername

    I love this

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)
  • HiddenHikari

    This is the author, thought I’d make a little note about the ending since it confused some people:
    The girl dies.
    The second girl whose singing is a sort of like Death, but she takes the form of whoever is about to die. When you find the path, you are dying, then the girl reveals her ‘secretive secret’, which was supposed to be very repetitive, that she no longer lives, because she is Death, and neither do you, because her song just killed you.
    And now all the creepiness is gone because it makes since…tsk.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 10 votes)
    • Anon

      Who’s*
      Whomever*
      Sense*

      If one is an aspiring writer, one’s grammar should be a little better.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +1 (from 7 votes)
      • http://kewl.com GrammarSoviet

        Actually, whose is correct in this form. Who’s, which means who has or who is, would change the meaning of the sentence. Whoever is also correct, since Hikari’s sentence can be split into “The second girl whose singing is a sort of like Death, but she takes the form of her. She is about to die.” Sense was spelled incorrectly, but even a three year old could have pointed that out. Finally, the use of “one” does not make you sound sophisticated. Since it is a reply to Hikari’s comment, you can and should directly address her with “you”. I despise amateur Grammar Nazi’s with all my heart.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +10 (from 14 votes)
        • Eve

          Reading this made my day eminentsly better. XD

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)
        • LHSS

          It’s who’s.

          The sentence is “The gil WHO IS singing…” not, “the girl, whose singing…”

          I despise people who can’t read. :P

          VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
          Rating: -4 (from 4 votes)
  • Little E

    The first thing is when you sayed that is a blue bird but it is really called a blue jay. The dead animals then it went to larger animals then it went to the faces that part was scary to me.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -4 (from 6 votes)
  • Einuh

    5 things I found unforgivable:

    1. Grammar
    2. Plot
    3. Grammar
    4. Plot
    5. GRAMMAR

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +5 (from 11 votes)
  • Whisper

    Liked it…few errors. But new, fresh, and original.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • http://deliriletterari.blogspot.com CMT

    The poem at the end isn’t bad (except the “secretive secret” that makes it sound dumb rather than creepy). The story is confused, the beginning doesn’t seem to make any sense, and the ending (before the poem, that is) only makes a little anyway (how is the girl supposed to be dead?)

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • Blood Empress

    “She was naked, lacked reproductive organs and a bellybutton. She looked human but something just didn’t seem right about her.”

    Ummmm let me illuminate you…SHE HAS NO REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS OR BELLYBUTTON

    I’m sorry, that line as a follow up was so ridiculous it wrenched me out of the story I had to laugh.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
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