I groggily opened my eyelids in an attempt to pull myself out of slumber. My eyes burned with exhaustion as it was still the middle of what had been a long night. I reached for the glass of water sitting on my bedside table. My warm hand enveloped the condensation and as I pulled the glass nearer to my face, it dripped. I made an attempt to sit up to avoid drenching myself in an ice cold bath. I couldn’t sit up. I couldn’t move my torso. My throat was parched, and I grabbed it in desperation. As I stared at the glass, it taunted me. My throat tightened, becoming incredibly dry with every bead of water that rolled off the glass. The mental taunting continued and eventually changed to a whisper.
I couldn’t understand the voice. It mumbled incoherently in my ear. My arms were forced to my side and the glass of water was flung to the wall. It shattered a storm of shards and wetness all over the room. The shards fiercely pierced my skin. Hot, sticky blood began to spread over my body. The voice turned into many voices and they wouldn’t cease. I screamed out for help. I was so desperate. Only, no sound came out. I felt sharp nails scrape the back of my throat and the blood was filling my lungs. I couldn’t breathe.. I couldn’t see.. The whispers were shouts of incomprehensible rants. They gave me a feeling of loathing. I was gasping for one final breath, but I only inhaled blood. As I drifted away from life, the yells returned to a peaceful whisper, almost a sing-song voice. My lungs cleared and I felt them lighten. My throat opened up, I was no longer parched. My crusted eyes opened with ease, and I realized where I was now residing.
I found myself stranded at the gates of Hell.
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Well written, but it escalated very quickly.
Just wanted something to drink a glass of water and ended up being sent to hell…
well, that escalated quickly…
They have Wi-Fi in hell?
Well…that escalated quickly.
I did not get the plot of this pasta but the end terrified me all the same I liked it but this pasta needs more sauce other than that delicious .-. depressed whale
okkkkkkkayyy…. great pasta but ending was bad. sorry.
OHMIGOD THERE WAS THIS ADVERTISEMENT WITH A LADY’S FACE AND I THOUGH IT WAS A SCARY PICTURE BUT IT WAS JUST A REGULAR FACE I GOT SO SCARED
Maybe it’s just that I read DAY OF ALL THE BLOOD right before this… but
A MAN PICKED UP A GLASS AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM EVERYWHERE. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES EVER. EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND HIM TO HELL SO THAT HE WOULD STOP GETTING BLOOD EVERY WHERE.
Now that is just inconsiderate.
Go back and clean that glass up, you messy demon.
Oh… Right.
*sweeps it up for you*
Good structure. Bad plot.
This pasta needs to do what the title says
I hate it when that happens, man. Thirsty, need a drink, drop your water, die… And then, just to make things worse, you go to Hell for it.
Shit happens.
i guess you could say you needed some..
h2HOE
Hell isn’t actually that bad. It’s like earth…except everyone has horns.
True, true. A little hot, if you ask me.
Allow me to start out by saying your style of writing is exceptional for this day and age. The ideabehind this pasta is very original, as well However, I feel as if your downfall lies in the fact that the actual content of this script was severely lacking. It’s not all that bad, really, except I feel as if it should be longer, or perhaps have a bit different content. I give it a B.
Regards, Her Grace Steezii Iero-Von Vanity, Dutchess of the Rainbow Ninja Ponies of Antarctica
LOLWUT
O.o
wow. when i drop water, the only thing that hurts is my mom slapping me. ._.
u need to work on it bro
first two sentances were good the rest was crap
Can you say “SUCK”
You shouldn’t have done that.
I felt the last few lines ruined the story, I was keenly expecting some paranormal influence, but using ‘hell’ just killed the mood and made it so much more unrealistic. But you are a very good writer
It wasn’t completely terrible… just dumb.
3/10.
It was clearly like, an opening to hell, none of it was supposed to be real. The person had already died. Interesting concept 5/10
I think this is more of a poem than a Pasta. With a little work with the form of the words and some rhyming scheme to it, it would definitely make a good poem. Also, are you sure it was blood? :3
I think this pasta should be “Taken Down”
*Puts on sunglasses*
YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
*dun dun-dun*
I hate it when that happens!
If anyone wants to collab with me message me here
I was thinking about how there shouldn’t be condensation on the glass the entire story.
this made no sense to me
Laila, let’s collaborate our over-analyses one day.
There’s no way there’d be condensation rolling down the glass since the water, which had been sitting there half the night, would be room temperature.
Shazam.
“shazam” made me start hysterically laughing for no reason
It doesn’t say they slept half of the night. It says “My eyes burned with exhaustion as it was still the middle of what had been a long night.” They could have slept for 10 minutes. There’s no words that describe them sleeping half of the night.
it was pretty good.
I like ur name
I like your name
…Huh.
I like your name
I like your name
Stahp
LOL I dont think some shards could make u bleed that much, most likely the glass would break against the wall and the small tiny almost microscopic pieces would maybe fly towards narrator but not hurt him that much. idk y I analyzed it so much sorry
I agree. As soon as I saw that, I was shaking my head.
This may help, the way the story reads he’s been in hell the entire time. If that’s the case then all rules of natural existance don’t really apply. But it’s nice to see someone else who sees more than what is there.
You shouldn’t have done that.
Omg just stfu we all know you’re just some fanboy trying to be cool.
dude calm yo tits
Yes.
This made me think of someone dying of a respiratory disease, like tuberculosis or infleunza. Why am I so thirsty?
THEN WHO WAS THROAT?
That meme is so overused.
…