String Theory
Have you ever had an experience that suggested someone else was in your house, and just thought “I don’t wanna know” and left it? Sometimes, fear of the unknown just seems like the preferable option than facing a real, concrete danger. Normally it’s nothing, though. One time, the beeper function of my wireless housephone went off, when I was the only one home. It could only be called from the living room. Another time, I swear someone took some change from my desk. They’re all probably just slightly disconcerting tricks of the memory.
But what would you do when something truly suggestive happens? Would you run, or just ignore it, like I did?
Last Monday was a normal day. I got up, brushed my teeth, changed into school clothes… All little parts of my morning ritual. It seemed like it would be another totally un-noteworthy day, until I saw the strings.
There were three or four thick twine strings in my room. They criss-crossed between the walls around my bed, one attached to the door. No way would I have missed them before; I should have tripped over them. They were tied to pins in the walls, which had also not existed before ten seconds ago.
Nobody could have been in my room while I was in it, let alone set this up. It was early, and my brain wasn’t processing correctly. I simply discredited the sight, untied the strings and left for school, leaving them balled up on my desk.
It didn’t get any better later. Outside my house there were hundreds of them, tied between houses, around cars, across streets… This had to be some super elaborate prank. One of those hidden camera shows, or a comedy improv blog. They had gotten everyone else to play along too; passer-bys were tangled in them, tying them to objects they were walking towards and away from, as if they had been and were continuing to follow the course laid out for them.
I nervously continued my journey to school. On the bus, every except me was tied to the door. At school, groups of friends were tied to each other; teachers were tied to their desks and boards. Oddly enough, at this point all I could wonder was why I had been left out.
When my friend Lucy sat beside me in first period, she simply plonked her bag down on my lap and rested her chin in her hand, looking right past me to the window outside.
“Hey Lucy.”
No response.
“Come on, I didn’t expect you to be in on this too. “
She sighed and started taking books from her bag. All the books were tied to her hands. I grinned, and yanked one of the strings off a book. She didn’t seem to notice, instead simply disregarding the book completely, letting it drop to the floor without a moment’s hesitation.
“Um.” I leaned down, picking up her book and placing it back on her desk. She took no notice.
“Well, if that’s how we’re gonna play it.” I smiled, trying to look playful, but really just trying to hide my nervousness. I bundled all the strings attached to her together with one hand, then pulled them all free.
She blinked, turning to stare at me.
“Holy crap, Martin. You’re like a ninja or something.”
“I’ve been sitting here for maybe ten minutes.” I smiled again, relieved my friend had finally “noticed” me.
“Where did all these strings come from??” She gasped, seemingly noticing for the first time.
“I assumed you were all fucking with me…”
She stood up, backing into a corner. No one else in the class noticed.
“They weren’t here just a minute ago! Do you see them too??” Her tone made it clear she was genuinely scared.
“No. Didn’t you-. “ I was interrupted by my teacher slamming the door behind her. Everyone except me and Lucy murmured a good morning, and still, no one seemed to pay either of us any notice.
“People have been ignoring me all day.” I said to Lucy, before turning to our teacher. “Hey! Dumb bitch! You can’t teach for shit!”
No reaction.
“I’m getting away from all this shit.” Lucy pulled a few strings aside and left the class. I followed, and surprise-surprise, no one else noticed.
We wandered the corridors, leaving and entering classes as we saw fit. Whenever we untied a chair or book from someone else, it was like it suddenly didn’t matter to them. It didn’t exist.
I showed her the street outside; there were more strings than when I came in this morning. Twice as many. We carefully picked our way through the tangle, making our way to a nearby coffee shop. Not particularly grand, I know. But what would you do in our situation? As I said, fear of the unknown sometimes seems like the safer option. On a few occasions, I suggested we untie a few more people. Lucy was opposed to it, remembering how terrified she’d been.
In the coffee shop, we grabbed a couple of sandwiches and drinks from the fridge. We found a table, untied all strings attached to the chairs, and sat down. We both ate in silence, both of us too scared, both of us distracting ourselves by watching the strangers in the shop, oblivious to the strings.
After twenty minutes, Lucy spoke up. “Now she’s gonna take that sandwich.” She said, pointing at a woman across the shop. Sure enough, she walked to the fridge and took the plastic wrapped sandwich she was tied to. “She pays for it and leaves.” She did so, according to the prophecies of the strings. “That guy doesn’t intend to pay.” I watched as a man took his coffee and ran out of the store, the two servers just looking too exasperated to go after him.
“This is horrible.” She whimpered. “Let’s go. Please.”
Outside wasn’t much better. Everyone just followed the strings’ instructions, going about their daily lives. Lucy announced she was going home to sleep this off, and I agreed to walk her home. She only lived ten minutes away.
Away from the busier part of town there were fewer strings. It was nicer; we could pretend it wasn’t happening.
When we turned onto Lucy’s street, she stopped, her mouth falling open.
“What now?” I broke the silence, my voice sounding surprisingly small.
”Look.” She pointed outside one of her neighbours houses.
I saw it clearly, and I’ll take my memory of that moment ‘til the day I die. A little dark imp, maybe three feet tall, walking along with its knuckles on the ground, almost like a monkey. It had two bulbous yellow eyes taking up about half its face, and no mouth or any other facial features. It was holding a hammer and a ball of twine, which it was letting out behind it.
It walked quickly and quietly from the front door of the house to the mailbox. It stopped, hammered a nail into the side of the box, and tied it’s string around it. It turned to face us, and stopped when it spotted us.
My bottom fell out even further than it had already been, but it just stared with a look of surprise and curiosity. You could almost say it was the more frightened one. Suddenly, it beckoned to us with its tiny hand.
I looked at Lucy, she hadn’t moved. I looked back at the imp, which stared at me.
I halved the distance between us, and then halved it again. This wasn’t fear of the unknown anymore; it was fear of this little guy. Didn’t seem like anything to be scared of. When I was a meter away from it, it extended its hand.
“Uh. Hi.” I shook it. It nodded in approval, blinking its massive yellow eyes up at me.
“So you’re the ones in charge of the strings?” It nodded eagerly. I called Lucy over, but she stayed where she was.
“There are more of you?” Another nod. I wanted to ask it so many questions, about what it was and where it came from, but it seemed for now I was stuck with only yes or no questions.
“Do we even have free will?”
It just looked at me, almost sadly. I immediately felt sick to my stomach, and couldn’t bear looking at the little monster anymore. I grabbed Lucy, who had been listening to our exchange, and now sat on the curb with her head in her hands.
“Come on.”
We entered her house, and I made her a cup of tea. When I found her in the living room, she had untied her dog and was curled up with it, crying. I set the tea down and sat beside her.
“I’m so scared.” She whispered after a good ten minutes of sobbing. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.
“I’m going to sleep” She mumbled suddenly, and was under within the minute. Sleep was starting to sound pretty good all of a sudden, my eyelids suddenly felt like they were being weighed down.
I collapsed to the rug, and the last thing I heard before I fell asleep was the scurrying of several sets of little feet nearby.
I felt much better the next day, as if the whole affair had been a dream. I’d probably have believed that if I hadn’t been awoken by Lucy’s mother that morning, wondering what I was doing sleeping over without permission or something.
Over breakfast, Lucy asked me why I looked so pale and nervous. I turned to her and smiled, mumbling something to her about feeling sick.
But the truth was, I was scared because I couldn’t see any strings, and was wondering whether my actions were truly my own.
–
Credited to Tesla.
FIRST BITCHES
Excellent. A rare and refreshing return to form.
OOH! Really good pasta! I Loved it! Very truly creepy! I like it! I kept imagining where I live and I don’t think I got the full effect because I’m sure you didn’t write it from the point of view of my room but it was a very good past! OMNOMNOM!! More please!
omg exelent
Not too bad. Could have been a little less detailed. Not very creepy, but a decent read.
Finally, a decent pasta. At first I thought that whoever the strings were not attached were people who had died. I guess that I was wrong.
This is the first recent creepypasta that I’ve liked.
8/10.
Good. Not too, too scary, but enough creepy. The ending was a bit anticlimatic, though…
Hey very well done, nicely undpredictable.
Delicious pasta with Italian quality pesto sauce, would order again.
9.5/10
Way decent =]
I really liked this one….nom nom nom…very different and good……congrats 9/10
it was good, but it didnt make my hart race or anything
wow tht was quite amazing.
That was the best pasta i’ve read in quite some time. I actually grabbed at my wrists afterwards to see if there were strings or sommat.
THEN WHO WAS DETERMINIST IMP?
Would eat a million times again
There was little to no thrill factor here. That being said, and all negativity aside, I though it was an excellent short. It was the most original pasta that I’ve seen. I wasn’t too pleased with the story development, but (unlike some of the others here) I did enjoy the ending.
That wasn’t very scary, but it’s definitely better than what’s been showing up recently.
I don’t know: I would be interested in seeing this as a comic or something, but not really as a story in the horror genre.
I’d say the only surprising thing about this is the string origins. I believed they were attached to dead people…the strings controlling “free will” was a very unique surprise.
that was so damn creepy. I would have untied loads of fucking people though. Who cares if they’re scared at first.
This is one of the first creepypastas ive read that actually had a semi-satisfying ending.
VERY VERY DELICIOUS.
Brilliant, even profound. 10/10
Interesting concept. The people were completely oblivious to the strings controling their lives. This is especially creepy because of the following statement:
How do we know whether or not we are attached to strings?
Fear the Darkness
-Nex
I like this a lot! My only complaint was that the line “Do we even have free will” kind of came out of nowhere, almost like a spoiler with no leadup. It might have been better with a more gradual sense of seeing the strings being tugged this way and that.
Wow, GREAT pasta! Night and day from that last one. More from Tesla, please! I love their work!
Beautiful pasta. I’ve been putting off visiting the site for a while, but now I regret it.
Kudos to Tesla. Great story, nice writing, everything.
Wow I didnt expect the end..fairly creepyy..
That was really good.
More please.
THEN WHO WAS CREEPY IMPS?
OH DAYUM. That’s some creepy shit. 9/10. Could have been a bit more terrifying if the little imps had been guardians or something. Just something to make it feel less like something a normal person could possibly have the power to subvert.
Could have been better; didn’t like the characters.
And the begining “fear of the unknown” set the beings up to be scarier than imps.
I lurved it. 8/10
W-HU-AT??!?!
Very good pasta. No cliche’s. Flawless victory.
I R DAH MAKAR UV DAH STREENGZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!11!!!!1!!1!11!11ONEONE!ONE111!!!ONEFUCKINGONE!!!11ELEVEN.
omgwtfhaxlawlmyroflkoptergoezsoisoisoisoisoisoisois
Wonderfully done. Refreshing in that wasn’t a blatantly horrific tale, but rather a subtle approach to fears over things like fate and control of one’s destiny.
Not the creepiest, but a really good story.
I wanna catch a dark imp. <3
They sounded adorable. xD
Epic pasta is epic.
Very well done, although the part at the beginning seemed out of place.
A good one for sure
Amazing, no death! Just soul crushing despair that my actions are not my own.
Goddamn flawless!
10/10
there were grammatical errors that i didnt like, the little guy didn’t make any fucking sense
fuck this broski
Brilliant. First decent piece of pasta I’ve seen in quite some time.
holyyyyyyyyyy fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk that was mind blowing
Brilliant, just…. yeah, you get the idea.
Good pasta.
Kind of hoped it’d be about physics though.
lead by the pussy again not to untie the strings. such a coward.
Nice.
Wow, a truly wonderful display of creativity. More, you are a truly gifted mind.
you shouldnt limit this to a short story man. it is a really cool idea. you could turn it into an actual book
Not terribly creepy, but delicious pasta. 9/10
BUT WHO WAS STRING?
BUT WHO WAS STRING?
This is the only pasta I have ever SHAT BRIX multiple times within the story
FUCKING AWESOME pasta man.
Twas creative and exellant. Bravo, Many applauds for delicious pasta!
Wow, I’ve been looking at this site for a while now, and the stories were getting worse and worse, but this is brining it all back haha. LOVED IT.
Delicious.
Not very scary, but definitely unsettling. Extremely good.
YOU GOT SPUNK KID
WHO WAS IMP
That was a good read. Kept me pretty intrigued. Not OMG SCARY but pretty creepy, good job.
Haha wow. This is a nice job. I can’t call it creepy but it’s a cool pasta. Nice concept, well written.
10/10
That’s cool … Creepy pasta much
Not very creepy, but I like it nonetheless. It’s different, and though the ending was not a surprise it’s still a well-rounded pasta.
I didn’t like it. Maybe if I somehow knew that my actions were not in my control it would be a little more scary. Otherwise it will still feel like that I have a free will. Why should I be scared of something that never makes itself known nor tells me my fate? Sure you can just as easily pass it off as a dream and forget about it but that’s not scary. There’s no consequence and that is where this story fails.
then who was sandwich
It’s difficult to be frightened by this, though it’s not a terrible story. Like Anony said…why be afraid of something i never know is there and doesn’t even really effect me where i’ll know. also, my big problem was towards the end, who was phone?
This was a stupid pasta, it was so predictable and boring.
Saw the ending coming. But still, it was a very neat pasta. Original and with so little mistakes that I almost didn’t notice. Much better than what’s been posted lately, really.
8/10, well done! Om nom nom.
Delicious pasta… yum!!!
How do we know there’s not an infinite amount of levels to this string idea. That the imps aren’t on strings controlled by a subset of imps, and those imps controlled by another subset, and so on.
Very, very great! I loved the psychological feel of this! PRAISE TO THE writer!
I would of grabbed a pair of scissors and cut all the string i could find
Omnomnom Delicious pasta
really great!
I don’t get why this has been given so much praise, its awfully written, boring and anyone with the slightest amount of intelligence would have seen that ending coming, it was like reading a goosebumps short. Pretty damned awful and I wouldn’t be surprised if all of these praise comments were from the author him or herself.
THIS STORY BLOWS! NEX EJACULATOR, TOWER OF FAGGOTRY, PIES FAG, NIKORI FAGNUT, THATGUY is GAY!, FUCKINGSLUTTARAA, KATIE BUTT UGLY BUG, FILTEREDWHORE AND CANDLEJACK SWALLOWS COCK ARE ALL LAME AND UGLY FRIENDLESS LOSERS!!!
Too long, but it was meh alright.
Fear the gayness
-Nex
Great concept, not scary, but thought provoking. Ending was meh, but overall this is quality shit.
This was too long but it was meh alright.
Fear the gayness
- Nex
Very nice, I agree with Simon about the whole psychological feel of it. Definitely makes you think.
Creepypasta these days can best be described like someone in their final hours… mostly flatlining, but every now and then you get a spike.
This was one of those spikes.
I look forward to more from you, Tesla.
wut even at this entire thing.
Really good, could possibly be written in a creepier way, but thats more about style than quality. Brilliant premise and execution regardless.
Wow, I love you. Lately the stories on this site have been just… blah. This pasta was excellent though, I honestly don’t have any complaints. This is, like, the rebirth of Creepypasta or something..
K, I might be exagerrating a bit.
But this story was still marvelous, and my new favorite. Interesting topic, just plain creative and filled with deliciousness. :3
<3
I love a good satire.
I liked this one. The ending is thought provoking and I enjoyed reading it. A nice refreshing psychological pasta.
honestly, i didnt really like this one that much.
Very very intriguing. The notion of a goblin going around pulling the strings of fate, makes you wonder: what strings are pulling his fate?
COCK IS MY DESTINY
SUCK ME SOME BALLS
I liked it. It kinda reminded me of Donnie Darko and how he can see the future with the clear tubulue thingies.
wow, very good pasta, best recently
At first, I thought this was gonna be The Memetic Symbol 2. But then it got SO unscary.
i thought it was really good(:
kinda funny in its own way, and the perspective of someone being suddendly able to see the “fate” or how you want to call it IS in fact kinda creepy. The part where the protagonist says that he saw the strings in the room right after exiting it and no one could have put them here did creep me out. Even if the final is kind of surprising (ok, i had figured it out before, but i forgot by the time i got to the last line) it could have been better done.
To me, the worst part in this is that when i read the creature’s description, i immediately trought of an Heartless from Kingdom Hearts (even if i’ve only played it for a little) and this was enough to almost completly pull me away from the story.
I just don’t get it
Great job. This was original and interesting. No, not the most terrifying pasta, but damn- I know exactly what that feeling is. The “I’d rather not know if there’s someone else in the house”.. I get that feeling all the time.
I’d say it’s amazing if it weren’t ripped off from a Darren Shan story, but he did the same thing, and much better.
Very, very entertaining.
No one really explained WHY the main character could suddenly see the strings, and why didn’t anyone SEE Lucy and him when they had pulled the strings off? Of course then they were able to decide their own actions, but it doensn’t really make them invisible.
It wasn’t that scary, kind of random really… as someone already said, this would’ve been a lot scarier if the strings were only attached to people who are alive, and just as we are free from those strings, we can see the world in it’s true form.
Mmmm. Good pasta there. I’d give it a 8/10. Would be a full 10 if it was a little creepier and the ending wasn’t predictable. Either way, well done. ^^
Love it!
Not really scary, but damn fine pasta. Excellent.
hay guise it’s wat you’ve all been waiting for…..
THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
hello…babye…
Hey guys.
Thanks for all the praise. And to the people who weren’t happy; hey, you can’t please everyone!
This wasn’t ripped off of a Darren Shan book (I HAVE read them, and I have NO idea where there are similarities) or mean to read like goosebumps.
The free will thing and the creepy imp dude were sorta shout outs to Donnie Darko and the Heartless though. I don’t play KH, but dig the heartless design.
My inspiration is really rare and my stories are super hit-and-miss stuff. Don’t get your hopes up about any new stuff from me!
Damn Cookie beat me. D:<
Oh, well. I liked it, it was a unique idea that kinda makes you wonder. Where the fuck do our actions come from.
Great pasta. :’D
The ending line sealed it. Amazing.
9/10
Would be 10, if the author didn’t take me for an idiot and added the line “…and was wondering whether my actions were truly my own.”
Really, I already knew what was about to happen, and author thinking I wouldn’t know implication of not seeing strings was a small insult.
Vault24 – Fair point, but I didn’t write the story just for you.
Seconds Please!!!
gave me chills and made we rub my arms to make sure there were no strings. 10/10, easily.
This was really good
This was very well thought-out and something to think about. *Looks around to see if there are any strings around*
The only thing that really bugged me was the fact that there were imps doing this. I think maybe it should have been something else, something scarier than an imp. I’m not entirely sure what to suggest, but I’m sure a really good horror writer like you could figure something out XD
But still, this was really good. It’s not really something to give you nightmares, but it’s a chilling thought. I’d give it a nine and-a-half out of ten.
Great story, summed up by a great finish. Great Pasta.
I liked the idea, but not the execution. It feels like it is lacking…something. I would not be surprised to see something like this in a collection of short horror stories, or an episode of Twilight Zone.
but who was string?
Summary
Wake up
Find strings
See more strings
See MOAR strings
Take strings from Lucy
Lucy has a PMS moment
Get coffee
See an Oompa-Loompa on crack
Go to sleep
Wake up
ODANG WHERE ARE MAI STRINGZ
—
The most unpredictable thing of this story was the protagonist’s name being Martin. And even that wasn’t very shocking. Ya gots good grammar, though.
@Mog
Final Fantasy? :3
@ The Story
Hell, this thing was absolutely awesome.
People are saying this is ripped off Darren Shan? I’ve read a lot of his books but I haven’t seen anything like this. I guess the style is vaguely similar, but OP is a good writer regardless. 10/10!
nice, finally a decently written pasta. RAWR time to dig in!
interesting plot, but the ending was a letdown. sadly, i shat no bricks. 7/10 for effort and grammar!
WOAH AN IMP oh well lets ignore it and go to sleep
i dont get it
Tesla u should really consider being a full on creepy pasta regular story writer. Honestly the best creepy pasta i have ever read,not in creepiness but in it’s own form of story.it was creepy and makes you think…………….Thank u for a truly original story Tesla.I’d love it as a short film as well.
Very, very good, but I think I liked it more before the part with the imps. As stated in the story, people fear the unknown. Mysterious destiny-controlling strings are creepy. Little imps are less so. Perhaps if the imps were faceless shadows or something, I would have liked it better.
Not bad, but it’s the second pasta I’ve read today that kind of borrows it’s theme from a film, in this case “Donnie Darko.” It was the whole determinist, no-free will, people following paths thing. As mentioned by a few people, the ending lacks reader satisfaction. Personally, I would’ve liked to have seen maybe the main guy/girl conducting an experiment by either tying their string back on, or going to sleep so that the Imp might reattach it, then follow where the string leads, ultimately finding out that they kill someone or themselves, or something like that. Keep it up though!
… maybe a more scary ending? overall fresh idea, nice.
Very nice! Not all that creepy, but still fun as hell to read.
This would make a fantastic short film, by the way. I was picturing it that way the whole time I read it.
o: niiice.
Great story.
Eerily similiar to Stephen King’s Insomnia.
Wonderful pasta, but… how did his string come off in the first place? I mean, it seems like in order to realize the strings, you have to be untied… so…
I did enjoy it though. 8.5/10.
Badass.
it was retarded
the main character actually contemplates the concept of freewill while questioning every one of his actions
and yet there’s supposed to be some mysterious “what if we’re being controlled” element to the story
essentially the small amount of creep factor comes from the fact that everyone is apparently unaware of the strings attached to them and the fact that their objective is really quite unclear
but truly
oblivion =/= lack of brain signal to the rest of the body at will…
also, i agree with the person who said that the original free will line was reaaaaaally sudden and way too portentous
it kind of ruined the story early
HOLY SHIT!
I just witnessed OC
I have ofter wondered if my actions were my own, I am the pawn of some great diety or I simply making decisions, niether of these answers suit me though, if the first is true, this diety is evil, or having his own strings, if I am making choices, then why would I exist… this pasta was tasty… i went back for seconds, but it makes me think at the same time… am I in control, if so, thanks for the strings, nothings more usless then a puppet without a master
light thinks itself the fasters, but wherever its going, darkness gets their first – unknown author
Donny Darko much?
thought it was a good pasta, it was literally about how people are loosing there free will
love it!
BUT WHO WAS STRING?
I truly find this creepy. The idea of not having free will is frightening. Good job!
Re-found the pasta.
I wonder it there’s an imp wondering around, tying twine to chairs and shit.
I will name him Rodger.
Rodger, can I have my free will back? I kind of want to make my own desicions for real, instead of having them made for me and looking like I made them.
Thanks.
Now that one was fun. Very fun. I could vividly picture everything that was going on. Well done.
Not a particularly scary pasta, but definitely worth reading. Excellent story.
Also…
WHO WAS MAILBOX?
Not really a “creepy”pasta, but well written. It all makes sense at the end.
Very tasty pasta. Lately, all of the pastas have sucked nuts. However, this one was…refreshing. Keep it up.
Oh, it sort of reminded me of Donnie Darko.
That’s a compliment, take it.
Interesting. I kinda figured it out like half way through though.
The only problem is, how did his strings come undone?
Very good!! I found your website on an other site, but I’m glad I checked it out. I love these stories. Keep them coming <<3
~Mrs. Robert Cowley
Well written, and a good idea, but the main character’s actions are ridiculous. Walk outside, see loads of strings tied to everything. Better get to class!
Would you kindly…
That was pretty good, I actually tried to find some string on my body.
WOW
that was some fantabuloso pasta!
ONE OF THE BESTEST!
10/10!!!
I was really impressed with this pasta. It brings elements usually left unexplored by most pastas. Delicious, 9/10.
Wasn’t really creepy, but it was entertaining.
excuse me…but i think most of the people who replied are crazy. this story makes no sense. what. so. ever. its not scary nor interesting. i wasted 7 minutes of my life reading it and about 4 trying to figure out what the hell was going on….this may be a dissapointment from your other stories
Been lurking around here for a while.
This one is really good. Frightening, makes you think about the world around you.
Kind of makes me think of I have string tied to ME.
it kinda sucked…. the beginning is mysterious, which i like, but the ending, its colorless, so to speak, it needs more umph
it kinda sucked…. the beginning is mysterious, which i like, but the ending, its colorless, so to speak, it needs more umph…. not my favorite pasta….
Well, now I have some inspiration…
Seriously, stop the hating, you obviously can not to a hell of a lot better. It was great, btw, thanks
I luved it! i wont sleep for days lolzzz.
Great pasta, but ending sucked.
do the imps have strings from even more discrete beings?
Brilliantly written, I loved this pasta.
I love it!! Not to creepy but its great
Wow. That was pretty fucking amazing. I love stories like this. its kind of like a myth. Ya know like what the romans and greeks made up to explain nature? This. But this is so much better.
It was really cool that the imp wasn’t exactly ‘evil,’ it was like it was just doin’ it’s job. Very nice! I love this one!
Great read, loved it
This pasta had a very original idea. I mean, the whole plot itself is excellent, but it was executed terribly. There was absolutely no interesting sentence syntax, no use of diction, nothing… that would stand out. Your characters lacked any characteristics and qualities, and many areas of this don’t add up. I think you should keep the idea, but throw out everything else.
duuuuude i would have gone to target and gotten a bunch of stuff
“My bottom fell out even further than it had already been”
I don’t get this part.
But still, nice pasta even if it wasn’t really creepy.
It was pretty original, and i liked it alot, but it wasn’t all that scary
the kid should have sat up and stabbed the freaking imp in the head and put the body on the front lawn
I read this when it was first posted, and I didn’t like it, but rereading it, this pasta was pretty rad. Definitely original, but I thought the writing could be different. Not better, just different in style, to fit the story. Lucy seemed kind of pointless, I think it would be creepier if he was alone in the whole thing, Anyway, great ending and awesome concept, but the lackluster writing made it less enjoyable. 7/10
Oh, very nice.
This is the first one I’ve enjoyed in a while. The writing wasn’t fantastic, but the story line was pretty good.
Excellent pasta!
The writing wasn’t too good, which worked wonderfully because it was a school aged boy.
Reminded me of Invasion of the Body Snatchers when all you are thinking is ‘Don’t fall asleep!!!’
10/10
woahhh :O
thats good
VERY REFRESHING READ. AMAZING STORYTELLING. CHILLING IN ITS SIMPLICITY AND SPINE-TINGLING IN ITS RELATION TO THE REAL WORLD.
Not creepy, but still very good. How did he remove the strings in the first place?
Its really great! Its sounds sooo much better then those with giant monsters in them.
It wasn’t really scary, but it was a good story
Just sayin’,
I liked this one a lot. As a person who prefers to lurk rather than actually comment on stories, it takes a lot to drag me out.
Now that doesn’t mean I didn’t expect the ending. I watch a lot of JJ Abrams (including LOST), meaning that I have gotten to be pretty good at picking out what’s ‘important’ to the storyline and what isn’t. That being said, when he got to school, that’s when I had most of the story figured out. I figured, ok, kid’s been dislodged from these ropes and can see them but in the end he’s gonna be tied back up just like the rest.
Called it.
Doesn’t mean it wasn’t good.
9/10, lost a point for the adorable imp that was supposed to be scary.
Definitely worth rereading.
Fucking awesome.
Well organized and magnificently executed. This is going on my favorites for sure.
I just couldn’t get past the similarities between it and Insomnia by Stephen King. The whole concept of small men/things controlling an unseen world and the only time people can access it is when they are unseen by others, it was too much the same for me.
So that imp stole my money?…. Damnit. THEN WHO WAS NIGGA IMP?
Who was string?
THIS IS FUCKING RETARDED
This is really really good.
It makes me wonder if i’m attatched to these strings, and if I have yet to be untied.
Very creative. It makes you think.
i wasn\’t as impressed. not bad writing, not bad story, but not the mindfuck that i expected. not even despair, though that\’s probably because i\’m used to the idea that we\’re just a bunch of impulses and instincts. so basically, transferring that to little imps isn\’t that odd or frightening.
i cant help but to imagine somthing like kingdome hears and the little creatures like little heartless sectretly taking over lives instead of hearts lol
I didn’t like the imp, but the idea is brilliant.
Interesting pasta. Not so much scary as it is thought provoking. Good ending.
All I could think was
MASTER
MASTER
MASTER OF PUPPETS IS PULLING YOUR STRINGS
I love that Metallica (Kill Em All to Master of Puppets, and St. Anger to current) Justice to ReLoad sucked balls
I understood what it meant but I thought it was shit with all due respect. I had to skip a good chunk cause it got too repetitive and boring.
Not too scary, but an excellent read. If I must criticise, it was a bit anticlimactic overall (ending particularly), but I don’t know what I would have done differently. If you had gone for something too grandiose (eg. a bunch of strings leading off a bridge, some sort of inhuman determination to follow the strings with injuries, etc.) it would have lost it’s beautiful feel. An excellent pasta, and greatly satisfying. If anything, I just wish there was more.
Delicious pasta. Not creepy in the slightest, but a very interesting read, especially for a Determinist like myself.
This would actually make a pretty good story. Like, story-story. Not just a short. Physical manifestations of fate aren’t too cliche, and I find them fun to read when the concept is done well.
tl;dr: cool story bro
HOLY CUNTINESS BATMAN
Amazing. Truly. True? Or a great story?
Great story!
THEN WHO WAS TEACHER?
Delicious :3 Nudge loves it.
Beside a few grammar errors, pretty good. Very original story, could very easily be extended into a full novel very easily, and I would love to read it.
Wow. Excellent. It was captivating from the first paragraph. Excellent!!
This was great
I didn’t understand it!!