• Lucklessmoss

    Please say there will be a part 2

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +24 (from 28 votes)
  • http://Creepypasta.com Dr.McNinja

    10/10 very good my friend, please make anothe one! This could become somewhat a series

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +8 (from 12 votes)
  • Anonymous

    I liked how real it seemed with the comments and all, but you really need to type differently for each of them. It was obvious that it was written by the same person. For example, almost all the people you were being overused ellipses, as well as added a distinct space following each ellipsis when there actually shouldn’t even be one. You also had lack of commas in certain, similar places, like following multiple oh’s. Additionally, “each person” liked run ons. These are all unique tendencies that definitely wouldn’t be shared by so many people.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +8 (from 18 votes)
  • Shogunfish

    Not a big fan of the formatting, maybe it would help if you explained what web site or service he was posting this on it would help a little bit. Not bad pasta but not remarkable either.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -14 (from 16 votes)
    • no

      I woould like to see you do better

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +13 (from 23 votes)
      • Swirly Head Man

        NO. This website is for people to get feedback. It really pisses me off when people like you put people down for giving criticism.

        VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
        Rating: +7 (from 9 votes)
  • PastaLover

    Nice! This is really cool! I hope to see a part 2!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
  • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

    I have to take blame for some of the formatting nuking. WP, for some reason, hates indents and will frequently eat them even if I’ve gone in and manually changed things. For example, in the draft of this post, I put in a lot of time into manually formatting and making sure that all the comments were organized differently and displayed correctly (in a tiered/childed format akin to livejournal) when I used the preview post function – however, for whatever reason, upon publication that formatting has completely been disregarded and if I go into the post’s edit mode, all my manual formatting is gone.

    Fun times.

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +7 (from 11 votes)
  • ??? @_______

    

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +9 (from 15 votes)
    • @Steam_master00

      STOP

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +8 (from 10 votes)
  • @_________

    Fuck you ^ I can do it too bitch!
    . |

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 9 votes)
  • Jwpve

    I like that post “5 weeks ago” has 0 comments though @_______ has commented, that added to the creepiness ;)

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +13 (from 13 votes)
  • redsnake15

    great story would love to see a sequel 10/10

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
  • ________

    You shouldn’t have read this…. feast time

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -7 (from 15 votes)
  • Shauna

    Confusing and unimpressive.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -20 (from 24 votes)
  • DeanKatalyst

    10/10 very eerie and I like it

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  • TokyoBoosh

    Okay yeah the formatting is different here to how I originally wrote it. I appreciate that there were some issues in keeping it in that format, so that’s all okay :)

    Thanks for the feedback guys!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +13 (from 13 votes)
  • @_______

    I remember this one. He made a good portal. Too bad he was no use to me, after I found Freddie. He isn’t as good as previous… ‘Victims’. I’ll just have to make sure I don’t allow him to upload his story. Too many people read it, and my list is being filled with worthless people! So many people who read this that have to go to waste. Oh well. I’ll just stick with Freddie.

    For now.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +4 (from 8 votes)
  • K Rizzle

    I really liked how she typed out in Wingdings. It was kind of humorous.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  • I have what I want from him, at least. His body will make the ideal portal, as it were, for us to enter your world. All we want are your minds and your hearts. We feed on your hearts, and your minds provide the necessary electrical signals for us to bind ourselves to you. We will have you all.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -3 (from 5 votes)
    • The Doctor

      And who are you, exactly? I’ve heard of the Atraxi making neuron firings malfunction, or perhaps the Silurians using hallucinogenic gas for dream tampering, but this has gone on far too much…. I’ve seen your kind before. Let me think…. Tampering with dreams, neuron malfunction, fear-inducing chemicals, visions… Come on, THINK….
      OH! I’m so thick! My head’s full of stuffing! UGH, can’t believe I didn’t realise it!
      You’re a Spinder. From the planet Mort’Hau.
      Nevertheless, I would advise you leave this planet and its inhabitants. You know a good planet? Raxocoricofallapatorius. Go torment the Slitheen. And if you do return, I’ll be here, waiting. Protecting Earth from scum like you.
      I’m the Doctor.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
    • The Doctor

      And who are you, exactly? I’ve heard of the Atraxi making neuron firings malfunction, or perhaps the Silurians using hallucinogenic gas for dream tampering, but this has gone on far too much…. I’ve seen your kind before. Let me think…. Tampering with dreams, neuron malfunction, fear-inducing chemicals, visions… Come on…
      Oh! I’m so thick! My head’s full of stuffing! God, can’t believe I didn’t realise it!
      You’re a Spinder. From the planet Mort’Hau.
      Nevertheless, I would advise you leave this planet and its inhabitants. You know a good planet? Raxocoricofallapatorius. Go torment the Slitheen. And if you do return, I’ll be here, waiting. Protecting Earth from scum like you.
      I’m the Doctor.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • The Doctor

      And who are you, exactly? I’ve heard of the Atraxi making neuron firings malfunction, or perhaps the Silurians using hallucinogenic gas for dream tampering, but this has gone on far too much…. I’ve seen your kind before. Let me think…. Tampering with dreams, neuron malfunction, fear-inducing chemicals, visions… Come on…
      Oh! I’m so thick! My head’s full of stuffing! God, can’t believe I didn’t realise it!
      You’re a Spinder. From the planet Mort’Hau.
      Nevertheless, I would advise you to leave. If you do return, I’ll be here, waiting. Protecting Earth from scum like you.
      I’m the Doctor.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  • the cake

    he is warm. too warm

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • http://creepypasta.com the cake

    so… i read this story on the 7th of october on my android. upon scrolling through to older new stories on my laptop, i noticed that there are wingdings. the first time i read this there weren’t wing dings. just clear writing. was this edited? or do androids automatically translate wing dings into english? either way it sent a chill down my spine.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • Jenn

      I think newer computers tend to translate wingdings/your language of choice on any webpage.

      I’m using firefox and I never realized there was wingdings as part of the story, that is an even more excellent touch by the writer.

      VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • David

    At the end with the "We feed on your hearts, and your minds provide the necessary electrical signals for us to bind ourselves to you. We will have you all." reminded me of the Ssi-ruu from Star Wars. They take humanoids and suck their life energy out of them to power their machines.

    http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Ssi-ruu

    Possibly related?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  • Ninjanna

    If you guys go to word and paste the symbols into it, then change the font to Times, you can read what it says.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • http://aawjewijqe Shape Shifter

    I’ve translated the wingdings for The paragraph written in week 5 here it is – I have what I want from him, at least. His body will make the ideal portal, as it were, for us to enter your world. All we want are your minds and your hearts. We feed on your hearts, and your minds provide the necessary electrical signals for us to bind ourselves to you. We will have you all. – @_@ holy shit…

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)
  • @__________

    soon

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • mr meow

    Translations:
    If you run, I will only follow you. I can hurt you even when you are not alone.
    Soon.
    Oh just you wait.
    I have what I want from him, at least. His body will make the ideal portal, as it were, for us to enter your world. All we want are your minds and your hearts. We feed on your hearts, and your minds provide the necessary electrical signals for us to bind ourselves to you. We will have you all.
    You’re welcom ;3

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)
  • Jenn

    Creative in style, the comments added to the horror! Love it, this really ought to be rated higher. Do write a part two when you get the chance.

    Just experiment with different styles for different personas and you’ll do great things in the world of horror fiction.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
Back to top
mobile desktop