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Snap



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

I used to live in the Lower Queen Anne region of Seattle, just a few blocks from the Space Needle, which has a little park around it- lawns, a fountain, sculptures, a theater and museums- a little park which is remarkably safe after nightfall. There is also, in the same complex that has all these great museums and verdant lawns, a sad little failing fair, which is deserted enough in the daytime. It was a great hangout for me and my friends after dark. We used to climb to the top of the roller coaster, smoke a little pot, and talk about the sort of trouble we could get in if we actually had the nerve, which we never did.

It was nice. We were so high up, we could see all the city lights glittering like deep-sea fish, and there was a lovely feeling of wrongdoing coupled with the almost certain fact that nobody cared we were there.

One day we decided to do shrooms instead. It was a good idea at first. The pretty lights and cool, crisp air became a religious experience. Then, all of a sudden, SNAP- something changed. We all felt it. The air wasn’t cool or crisp anymore. It was musty and humid and had a horrible, somehow familiar smell. The lights started to move about in a very unusual manner, sort of lurching and bobbing and above all, approaching. We didn’t see anything actually come into the little patch of fair that we were looking down on, but the lights around it were far, far too close together.

Obviously, we started to freak out. Me and AnneMarie and Brian perched up on that coaster ledge like our lives depended on it, but Eric broke off running. He made his way down the coaster with the grace of an ape, and lunged over the fence, and rushed off into the middle of the sane and healthy-looking concrete. There was a huge chirring sound, which was distinctly insect-like and seemed to come from no direct source, but rather from every molecule of the atmosphere that surrounded us.

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Then- SNAP. The city was back to its normal, peaceful self, and the three of us were still up the coaster, beginning to shiver a little in the drizzle. 

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We never saw Eric again. I moved to the country soon afterwards. You can visit that roller coaster in Seattle, but somehow I suspect the same thing could happen in any city. Anyone in a densely populated area with a lot of lights could experience just such a SNAP. I know they like population centers. I don’t hear the chirring out here in the country.

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199 thoughts on “Snap”

  1. I feel like this pasta was rushed with little details. I, personally, would have liked more details and descriptions about the monster. Instead, the story just seemed like “We like to smoke pot on top of a roller coaster. One day we did shrooms instead. Eric freaked out. The monster got him. I moved. The end.” The pasta and writer both have potential so I’ll give this story a 4.5/10.

  2. Love how he’s like “It was a good idea at first.” I don’t think doing shrooms at an abandoned fair ground is ever a good idea at first. Sounds like a pretty bad idea at first and in execution. I don’t think the author has ever done shrooms.

  3. OH NO THOSE EVIL SHROOMS ARE OUT TO GET US BY MAKING THE AIR SMELL FUNNY

    ARRRRHGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

    ‘Nuff said.

    1. Oh wait no, not enough said. The author of this story doesn’t want us to actually think about the ending to this story. They want us to just forget about the cliffhanger and act like we don’t care about a story with potential, and just try to imagine it happening to you. The purpose of a cliffhanger is to make you think about alternate endings and try to figure out the whole thing. Of course, a good deal of the adrenalin comes from imagining it happening to you, and I’m with them on that one (some people are over-thinking it). However, you can’t expect people to UNDER-think it!

      If you’re going for open-ended/cliffhanger, try to first add some detail to get your reader’s imagination started.

  4. I personaly didn’t like this story :l It was too bland for me, but that’s just my opinion. I need more details and a bigger scare factor rather then, “my friend went missing so this place sucks now.”

  5. Oh boo hoo the lights started coming closer and everything looks all WEEIIRRD! Wtf do you expect to happen when you do shrooms? Everything’s gonna be fine and dandy? Shrooms are hallucinogens, and as for your friend Eric: whenever this stuff happens and you inexplicably lose your friend when you’re high, check the magical portal in your closet that leads to the fifth dimension. ;D do not ask how I know this

  6. Should have just stuck to the pot. Can’t go wrong there.
    In regards to the actual story, you didn’t seem to know exactly what you are going for. The line between ambiguity and just plain nonsense is a fine one, and you seem to have veered into the latter. It probably could have done with more planning, and being a bit longer.

  7. “He made his way down the coaster with the grace of an ape.”

    I can’t seem to stop laughing every time I visualize that.
    I’m weird.

  8. seriously? if i wanted to hear about someones bad trip i would go to my moms house and talk to her “new” boyfriend whom she dug in the trash for also he used the word nice as opposed to peaceful or great or any other word in the english language that doesnt make you sound like a thirteen year old little girl in homeschooling :(

  9. Okay so some guys go up on a roller coaster or something and get high. Then one commits suicide with the “grace of an ape”. Depressing, but not scary.

  10. Lesson from this story:
    DO NOT HAVE SHROOMS ON TOP OF A ROLLERCOASTER FAR ABOVE A DESERTED FAIRGROUND AT NIGHT -‘Nuff said.

  11. you know i think i kinda took this differently than most i thought they were saying eric had died going over that fence but i’m not too sure as of right now…

  12. To the befuddled people saying that they don’t get it; Don’t bother yourselves too much about it. There’s nothing to get. To sum the story up in the tidiest way possible:

    1. Smoke pot. This is enjoyable.
    2. Do shrooms. This is not enjoyable.
    3. Watch as friend flips his shit due to a bad trip.
    4. Move to countryside.

    And that, my friends, is when you can feel free to contemplate the fact that you will never get those minutes back.

  13. Dear Slinkyfish,
    If “The world around the character changed suddenly in an indescribable way”,THEN MAYBE THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE STORY.

  14. I gave it a 10/10 simply because, while it is bad, the voting meter implies it to be THE worst creepypasta on this site, which couldn’t be remotely further from the truth!

  15. 0/10 for plot
    0/10 for readability
    10/10 coz i lolled :D
    an 2 teh grammah nahtsees non ov dis iz speld rong reeturds

  16. i just think it was bad sorry i think insted of the lights being something creepy in the story it sounded more like a acid trip

    1. No, no. An open-ended story is one in which the author uses a variety of tactics to subtly suggest a plethora of possible outcomes and endings, and then leaves the reader to decide for themselves exactly what happened in X place to Y characters for Z reason. It’s true that the most terrifying monsters are those found in your mind, but you have to at least lead your readers in the right direction.

      You can’t just write about the time you and your retarded friends did shrooms and one of them had a less than pleasant trip, then comment on the fact that you haven’t seen that guy since and call the resulting mess “open-ended.”

  17. I was pretty disappointed in this one. It doesn’t scare, or seem to have a real point. There is just a huge lull left at the end. I have better shroom stories than that.

  18. I HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR THE CHIRRING.

    THEY ARE ALL THE LANGOLIERS. THE SHROOMS WERE MAGICAL AND SENT EVERYONE TO THE PAST.
    =)

    Yeah, whatever. I think the pasta was written DURING a bad trip, tbh. 0/10

  19. SonicRocksMySocks

    Holy crap. Not the scariest story ever, but it redeemed itself if only for the fact that that exact location DOES exist in Seattle and it’s right next to my school. My art class goes to that fair to draw and observe people. Holy crap.

  20. I think that all you people yelling about drugs are missing the point of this pasta. The drugs, the hallucination–those things could explain the way the world felt, the air, the chirring, etc, but they cannot explain what happened to Eric. Yes, the conventional explanation is that he had a bad trip, freaked, and ran away, but why was he never seen again? What makes this creepypasta is that the drugs act as a confusing factor–they seem to be the explanation but are not. Something out there, something foreign and hot and wet and chirring (made me think of some kind of horrible jungle bug) is.

    Also, I like the grammar exactly how it is. I want creepypasta to sound like it’s being relayed by a person, not crafted by an artist.

  21. see, what makes this really creepy to me is that I’ve been to (I’m pretty sure) the exact place OP described…what’s weird is that it looks like an abandoned amusement park, except the stores and entertainment around it are still open, so I always had an eerie feeling when I went through it

    this was a few years back, but I’ve had recurring dreams about being back there…

  22. Man. I was excited, maybe I’d have something to be afraid of when I went to Seattle every few weeks. But no.

    It was almost enjoyable, but if it’s just drugs then.. not really.

  23. Oh, well, it started out nice. I know well of that area, and it was described nicely, but then it was just…trippy. The ending was totally lame. It seems like perhaps Eric didn’t feel like hanging out with a bunch of potheads after all.

  24. Future Mrs. Welldone

    Okie I don’t know where this story was going, kinda felt like I was on a trip myself. uh….

  25. If eric was truly as graceful as an ape then he would have been OK. Also, I don’t believe there was actually a girl there. Girls are too smart to hang out with idiots.

  26. I read a lot of these comments, and the vast majority of them seem to think this is a bad one. Personally, I’m with stinkyfish. You people are OVER-ANALYZING this story.

    It’s told from the point of view of a character that was present during the phenomenon, that had no idea what was going on. If the person telling the story doesn’t know, how the hell can you expect to know? I mean, honestly, have we all forgotten that minor fact about reading a story? When an entire story is writen by a single character with a single perspective, unless that character is God or some other orm of omnipotent being, we can’t know anything that character doesn’t.

    I liked it. Then again, I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with cliffhangers.

  27. awesome, read it twice.

    stop trying to fucking analyze this beyond it serving its purpose as a scary “what-if?” concept. OMFG DRUGGIE HOODLUM DOESN’T USE PROPER GRAMMAR!! WHAT A SURPRISE! MUST BE NAZI EVEN THOUGH IDK WTF I’M TALKING ABOUT! >:((( and I DIDN’T GET IT AND I’M NOT SATISFIED BECAUSE THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING I’M NOT GETTING, OR SOMETHING TO GET ABOUT IT.

    no. dude.
    something about everything, the earth, the world around the characters just changed in an instant in a indescribable way. it swallowed up one of their friends and then disappeared along with him. they have no idea what it was or where he went. it happened one time and one time only, and they never saw him again. no explanation. just think about this happening to you. that’s IT.

  28. This pasta makes me think too hard, because its’ implications are so vague. In my over-analyzing, I came to the conclusion that either the city is alive, or that insect-like creatures dwell within the city, only brought out by a bad trip. I don’t know. It needed more detail. Ugh.

  29. So, you’re creeped out because a moron you used to do drugs with got stoned out of his fucking mind ran down a roller coaster, and you never saw him again? He fucking died. Mystery solved. Retard is probably in a ditch at the bottom of the coaster. That’s what the cunt gets for running down a roller coaster. Moron. Your pasta is bad, and you should feel bad. Go kill yourself.

  30. Another one I can’t believe people are complaining about. The lights, the chirring and the snap make this extremely fascinating. It’s one of my new favorites.

  31. wow all that for one little trip. i’m not talking about the pasta either :\ … well that was probably the stupidest pasta i have read yet.

  32. “Me and AnneMarie and Brian perched up on that coaster ledge like our lives depended on it, but Eric broke off running. ”

    I would have put it as “AnneMarie, Brian, and I perched up on that coaster ledge like out lives depended on it” but that’s just me.

    Ugh.

    Pastas are getting worse and worse.

    Damn economy. Soon we will be able to afford proper pasta.

  33. Well, here’s one that WON’T be keeping me up at night, fearing the dark. *sigh*

    My first thought was that Eric fell or got caught by the authorities, and the noises and smells and feelings were brought about by hallucinogenic drugs that they were all taking. Nothing happening in this story is even MILDLY out of the ordinary for someone on drugs (hell, you can probably get worse with pot or alcohol if you try hard enough), except for the fact that they are dumb enough to sit on top of a roller coaster for it.

    This is just some 15 year old’s average lame Saturday with halfassed embellishments.

  34. really, guys? i like how everyone is calling out the “grammar nazi”, accusing him/her of being wrong.

    it’s “my friends and me”, not “me and my friends”. assuming grammar nazi was referring to THAT mistake, then he/she is, in fact, correct.

    so, shut up.

  35. This definitely wasn’t badly written, but it didn’t exactly feel like something that should have been written at all. It isn’t creepy, and, as a story, it doesn’t have much else that would justify its existence. Whoever wrote this is a fairly talented writer, and definitely has some creativity to come up with a coherent, well thought out story, but really, their time and ability could have been much better spent on writing something different. It’s not good if no one wants to read it, you know?

  36. So the lesson here is that you should never take a hallucinogen while precariously perched hundreds of feet off the ground, or else one of your buddies will die and the rest of you will freak out and have nightmares about it? … That’s not creepy.

  37. Feaster of Fear

    ……really? THIS is supposed to be my next meal?!

    IT’S CALLED HAVING A BAD TRIP

    There’s nothing unusual about it, its just the nature of the human brain to react when foreign chemicals are introduced to its delicate balance. Naturally, this reaction isn’t always positive.

    So basically, the only thing here that is even mildly disturbing is the realization that the main character is permanently freaked out from the experience, and that such a permanent freakout IS possible.

    I suppose it was written well enough, despite the grammar nazi’s scrutinizations, but there was no creepy! Where is my creepy?! I want my creepy!

  38. “For me and my friends” is indeed grammatically correct, “Grammar nazi.” Turns out your a polytard.

  39. Okay then… It’s not very clear. You’ll snap, go missing. I don’t know if it’s some sort of alternate reality, or giant bug, or a haunted carnival, or what.

    It was poorly written, and didn’t get the idea across very well.

  40. Better written than most stories recently, but it wasn’t very interesting. After the first paragraph I knew exactly where it was going, and that was where it went. Nothing new here.

    Also, the last paragraph read like the author wanted to throw in an “Oh sh*t” moment but wasn’t sure how to do it.

  41. Interesting. I’m glad I don’t live in a too heavily populated area.

    And Anonymous, you’re third. Stop with the immature ‘first comment’ bullhockery.

  42. Dood… I’m going to Seattle with my friends this Saturday… we should totally do this… ( o_o)

  43. …So having a shroom-induced hallucination involving lights and smells and a friend running away is now creepy?

    Huh.

    Sorry I don’t get it. :<

  44. Im always looking for a story that gives you that moment of realization where your palms sweat, you feel like your stomach did a flip and you get a little dizzy but this story didnt have any of that it could have been better written and it could have had more creepy-ness to it

  45. So he attributed all of this to evil and not to the drugs he took? Or are we to assume he still does mushrooms regularly, even given what happened? Maybe Eric’s mom caught on and wouldn’t let him hang out with “that crowd” any longer.

  46. Who’s “they”? The buzzing air molecules? You moved to the country to escape from air? I got news for you, kiddo, the same thing’s going to happen anywhere you take a hallucinogenic substance.

    Drugs =/= ghosts Very bland pasta, more like Creepy-Boy-Ar-Dee.

  47. Grammar Nazi needs to learn grammar. If you’d be saying “me” when nobody else was present, you still say “me” with the addition of extra parties. My friends and I went to the movies. It was a new experience for me and my friends.

    1. There’s absolutely nothing to get. The story boils down to “sittin’ on a coaster and doin’ some shrooms. Eric disappears. End.” The author is the stupid one in this case, not the readers.

  48. Uncooked pasta should not be served. This is sounds more like the effects of conventional illegal drugs, and less like something that’s creepy. So he experiences a trip? Nothing unexpectedly creepy about that.

  49. Sadly Anonymous, you’re not the “first”
    Good try though
    Also, what the hell?
    He disappeared. So unless there’s that monster from Star Wars in the concrete, I kinda wish I knew wtf happened

  50. Grammar Nazi, maybe you should think things through more carefully before you take that title. His grammar was perfectly acceptable. To say “for my friends and I” would be incorrect. You wouldn’t say “It was a great hangout for I”, you would say “it was a great hangout for me”. The addition of “and my friends” doesn’t change anything. Never has. I hate when so-called “grammar Nazis” make this mistake, which they almost always do.

    And with that incomprehensible rant…

    I’m quite happy that the kid called Eric died. I have an issue with Erics. It was a decent pasta; I liked the imagery.

    1. I agree with you Candle. And also, although this has nothing to do with the story, I find it insulting to joke around with the title “Nazi” because I have many Jewish friends who’s past relatives lives were impacted by Hitler and the Nazis.

  51. Comment Leaver

    A tad rushed. Oh noes, something happened to Eric, the end. Needs more of an explanation, one minute they can see Eric and the next he’s gone? Did something get him? Was it this noise? I love when things are implied but this just needs a bit more.

  52. MisterVercetti

    …is this some kind of joke? Like, “OMG teh shroomz tripz makes teh pepplez disapear lol!”

    This fails even worse than the Socratic Method, and I thought that pasta failed pretty hard.

    1. I think this story could probably work as a lecture of the consequences of shrooms, as long as they add,
      “So remember kids, doing drugs makes people run like apes and disappear”

    1. To me saying ‘first’ is so stupid it’s funny. Another joke, 2 muffins were sitting in an oven and one says, “gee it’s hot in here” the other says, ” HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN”

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