Snap
I used to live in the Lower Queen Anne region of Seattle, just a few blocks from the Space Needle, which has a little park around it- lawns, a fountain, sculptures, a theater and museums- a little park which is remarkably safe after nightfall. There is also, in the same complex that has all these great museums and verdant lawns, a sad little failing fair, which is deserted enough in the daytime. It was a great hangout for me and my friends after dark. We used to climb to the top of the roller coaster, smoke a little pot, and talk about the sort of trouble we could get in if we actually had the nerve, which we never did.
It was nice. We were so high up, we could see all the city lights glittering like deep-sea fish, and there was a lovely feeling of wrongdoing coupled with the almost certain fact that nobody cared we were there.
One day we decided to do shrooms instead. It was a good idea at first. The pretty lights and cool, crisp air became a religious experience. Then, all of a sudden, SNAP- something changed. We all felt it. The air wasn’t cool or crisp anymore. It was musty and humid and had a horrible, somehow familiar smell. The lights started to move about in a very unusual manner, sort of lurching and bobbing and above all, approaching. We didn’t see anything actually come into the little patch of fair that we were looking down on, but the lights around it were far, far too close together.
Obviously, we started to freak out. Me and AnneMarie and Brian perched up on that coaster ledge like our lives depended on it, but Eric broke off running. He made his way down the coaster with the grace of an ape, and lunged over the fence, and rushed off into the middle of the sane and healthy-looking concrete. There was a huge chirring sound, which was distinctly insect-like and seemed to come from no direct source, but rather from every molecule of the atmosphere that surrounded us.
Then- SNAP. The city was back to its normal, peaceful self, and the three of us were still up the coaster, beginning to shiver a little in the drizzle.
We never saw Eric again. I moved to the country soon afterwards. You can visit that roller coaster in Seattle, but somehow I suspect the same thing could happen in any city. Anyone in a densely populated area with a lot of lights could experience just such a SNAP. I know they like population centers. I don’t hear the chirring out here in the country.
OH BOYS
…and this is where I stopped reading: “For me and my friends”.
first
…is this some kind of joke? Like, “OMG teh shroomz tripz makes teh pepplez disapear lol!”
This fails even worse than the Socratic Method, and I thought that pasta failed pretty hard.
A tad rushed. Oh noes, something happened to Eric, the end. Needs more of an explanation, one minute they can see Eric and the next he’s gone? Did something get him? Was it this noise? I love when things are implied but this just needs a bit more.
Grammar Nazi, maybe you should think things through more carefully before you take that title. His grammar was perfectly acceptable. To say “for my friends and I” would be incorrect. You wouldn’t say “It was a great hangout for I”, you would say “it was a great hangout for me”. The addition of “and my friends” doesn’t change anything. Never has. I hate when so-called “grammar Nazis” make this mistake, which they almost always do.
And with that incomprehensible rant…
I’m quite happy that the kid called Eric died. I have an issue with Erics. It was a decent pasta; I liked the imagery.
i feel like it could be longer, maybe elaborate more? how do they know it wasn’t just a bad trip?
Drugs are bad, mmmmkay?
It was alright. Could have been a little better….but it was good.
wuts goin on herrrr
Sadly Anonymous, you’re not the “first”
Good try though
Also, what the hell?
He disappeared. So unless there’s that monster from Star Wars in the concrete, I kinda wish I knew wtf happened
Uncooked pasta should not be served. This is sounds more like the effects of conventional illegal drugs, and less like something that’s creepy. So he experiences a trip? Nothing unexpectedly creepy about that.
Am I the only one who didn’t really understand this?
i don’t like it. i need more gore and horrible, frightening details.
So mix a roller coaster and some drugs and you get…a shitty pasta?
i do not get it.
THEN WHO WAS SHROOMS?
OH SNAP.
get it. LOL…
Grammar Nazi needs to learn grammar. If you’d be saying “me” when nobody else was present, you still say “me” with the addition of extra parties. My friends and I went to the movies. It was a new experience for me and my friends.
BUT WHO WAS SNAP
god dammit i feel unclean now
…What?
Who’s “they”? The buzzing air molecules? You moved to the country to escape from air? I got news for you, kiddo, the same thing’s going to happen anywhere you take a hallucinogenic substance.
Drugs =/= ghosts Very bland pasta, more like Creepy-Boy-Ar-Dee.
But who was SNAP?
this story is not even remotely creepy
So he attributed all of this to evil and not to the drugs he took? Or are we to assume he still does mushrooms regularly, even given what happened? Maybe Eric’s mom caught on and wouldn’t let him hang out with “that crowd” any longer.
meh.
Im always looking for a story that gives you that moment of realization where your palms sweat, you feel like your stomach did a flip and you get a little dizzy but this story didnt have any of that it could have been better written and it could have had more creepy-ness to it
THEN WHO WAS SNAP?
Sounds like a bad trip.
…So having a shroom-induced hallucination involving lights and smells and a friend running away is now creepy?
Huh.
Sorry I don’t get it. :<
gross…that pasta was to plain..and boring
OH SNAP!
sorry but it had to be done
And THAT is why one should NEVER do drugs.
I don’t really think this was a HORROR story….
BUT WHO WAS SNAP!?
But.. isn’t that cos they did shrooms.. ?
Aaand.. yea.. ? o.O
Grammar Nazi made my day.
Dood… I’m going to Seattle with my friends this Saturday… we should totally do this… ( o_o)
THEN WHO WAS CHIRRING SOUND?
it had potential, but it’s way too short and the ending was very lacking in creepy.
OH SNAP
I don’t get it.
Big deal, they had some bad shrooms and freaked out.
Interesting. I’m glad I don’t live in a too heavily populated area.
And Anonymous, you’re third. Stop with the immature ‘first comment’ bullhockery.
BUT WHO WAS SNAP?
mm lul whut?
Lame.
Not really creepy, reads a little like an anti-drug advert if anything.
uhh third
Good, but I don’t believe it’s real creepypasta material. Just some kids experiencing shrooms.
So wait, hallucegens can make you see and here things that aren’t there? Nooo…
Grammar nazi: You are the biggest fucking failure in the universe. You realize it is only “___ and I” if its the subject, right? lrn 2 grammar.
Grammar nazi: You are a massive failure at grammar. It’s only “__ and I” if it is the subject of the sentence. If you’re going to be a douche, at least know what you’re talking about.
LOLWHUT?
drug awareness fail?
Better written than most stories recently, but it wasn’t very interesting. After the first paragraph I knew exactly where it was going, and that was where it went. Nothing new here.
Also, the last paragraph read like the author wanted to throw in an “Oh sh*t” moment but wasn’t sure how to do it.
wut?
oh noes!!! high kids being retard?
ya cuz that’s really creepy.
I don’t get it. Or, more simply,
WHO WAS LIGHTS?
maybe the guy should be thinking, “maybe this is an effect of this drug that I’m taking?”
Okay then… It’s not very clear. You’ll snap, go missing. I don’t know if it’s some sort of alternate reality, or giant bug, or a haunted carnival, or what.
It was poorly written, and didn’t get the idea across very well.
hahaha you are not first. soooooo this pasta is about a bad trip? supernaturally bad? booooooooooooooring.
“For me and my friends” is indeed grammatically correct, “Grammar nazi.” Turns out your a polytard.
……really? THIS is supposed to be my next meal?!
IT’S CALLED HAVING A BAD TRIP
There’s nothing unusual about it, its just the nature of the human brain to react when foreign chemicals are introduced to its delicate balance. Naturally, this reaction isn’t always positive.
So basically, the only thing here that is even mildly disturbing is the realization that the main character is permanently freaked out from the experience, and that such a permanent freakout IS possible.
I suppose it was written well enough, despite the grammar nazi’s scrutinizations, but there was no creepy! Where is my creepy?! I want my creepy!
So the lesson here is that you should never take a hallucinogen while precariously perched hundreds of feet off the ground, or else one of your buddies will die and the rest of you will freak out and have nightmares about it? … That’s not creepy.
So the CITY, which is actually a race of murdermachine insects killed him?
*Head explodes*
lolwut
So he snapped outta existence? Well, one less druggie in the world I guess
Who was…. parking lot?
This one sucked.
THEN WHO WAS COASTER
CRACKLE! POP!
This definitely wasn’t badly written, but it didn’t exactly feel like something that should have been written at all. It isn’t creepy, and, as a story, it doesn’t have much else that would justify its existence. Whoever wrote this is a fairly talented writer, and definitely has some creativity to come up with a coherent, well thought out story, but really, their time and ability could have been much better spent on writing something different. It’s not good if no one wants to read it, you know?
really, guys? i like how everyone is calling out the “grammar nazi”, accusing him/her of being wrong.
it’s “my friends and me”, not “me and my friends”. assuming grammar nazi was referring to THAT mistake, then he/she is, in fact, correct.
so, shut up.
(>O.o)> <(o.O<)
HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG. . .
One more bad pasta and I will have lost faith in humanity.
Well, here’s one that WON’T be keeping me up at night, fearing the dark. *sigh*
My first thought was that Eric fell or got caught by the authorities, and the noises and smells and feelings were brought about by hallucinogenic drugs that they were all taking. Nothing happening in this story is even MILDLY out of the ordinary for someone on drugs (hell, you can probably get worse with pot or alcohol if you try hard enough), except for the fact that they are dumb enough to sit on top of a roller coaster for it.
This is just some 15 year old’s average lame Saturday with halfassed embellishments.
BUT WHO WAS SNAP?
ok seriously one of the worst I have read. Not even scary.
Ok explain to me:
What the fuck was the chirring noise?
What the fuck happened to eric? Was it just bad trip?
Why can you only hear the chirring in densley populated areas?
Was there a monster or was it a bad trip?
This seems way to open ended with a pretty big build up and no delivery.
Overall a fail pasta, if this were to be deleted I wouldn’t care at all.
Im sick of all the pastas that have huge build ups and no delivery for an end. Stop. It sucks and pisses people off. Im tired of reading damn near a full page of text for shit like this.
Ugh.
Grammer Smammer.
(:
That’s what you get for doing shrooms, you fuckhead.
Actually, it should be “My friends and me.”
You’re supposed to list yourself last.
Meh.
You’re a grammar nazi. Your story also sucks ass.
“Me and AnneMarie and Brian perched up on that coaster ledge like our lives depended on it, but Eric broke off running. ”
I would have put it as “AnneMarie, Brian, and I perched up on that coaster ledge like out lives depended on it” but that’s just me.
Ugh.
Pastas are getting worse and worse.
Damn economy. Soon we will be able to afford proper pasta.
wow all that for one little trip. i’m not talking about the pasta either :\ … well that was probably the stupidest pasta i have read yet.
STUPID CUNTS, THEY’RE BOTH PROPER ENGLISH.
THEY’RE BOTH PROPER AND PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE ENGLISH YOU CUNTFUCKS.
Another one I can’t believe people are complaining about. The lights, the chirring and the snap make this extremely fascinating. It’s one of my new favorites.
What the GAY? This was fucking stupid.
So, you’re creeped out because a moron you used to do drugs with got stoned out of his fucking mind ran down a roller coaster, and you never saw him again? He fucking died. Mystery solved. Retard is probably in a ditch at the bottom of the coaster. That’s what the cunt gets for running down a roller coaster. Moron. Your pasta is bad, and you should feel bad. Go kill yourself.
“Damn economy. Soon we will be able to afford proper pasta.”
I lol’d.
This pasta makes me think too hard, because its’ implications are so vague. In my over-analyzing, I came to the conclusion that either the city is alive, or that insect-like creatures dwell within the city, only brought out by a bad trip. I don’t know. It needed more detail. Ugh.
awesome, read it twice.
stop trying to fucking analyze this beyond it serving its purpose as a scary “what-if?” concept. OMFG DRUGGIE HOODLUM DOESN’T USE PROPER GRAMMAR!! WHAT A SURPRISE! MUST BE NAZI EVEN THOUGH IDK WTF I’M TALKING ABOUT! >:((( and I DIDN’T GET IT AND I’M NOT SATISFIED BECAUSE THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING I’M NOT GETTING, OR SOMETHING TO GET ABOUT IT.
no. dude.
something about everything, the earth, the world around the characters just changed in an instant in a indescribable way. it swallowed up one of their friends and then disappeared along with him. they have no idea what it was or where he went. it happened one time and one time only, and they never saw him again. no explanation. just think about this happening to you. that’s IT.
“-have an issue with Erics.”
Hey. Fuck you.
I’m with *points to slinkyfish*, you guys need to lrn2/imagination.
I’m confused.
This pasta is shit.
Some kids take shrooms and get a bad trip, and their friend runs away.
Everything has been said, yet this still stays a bad pasta.
Last.
I read a lot of these comments, and the vast majority of them seem to think this is a bad one. Personally, I’m with stinkyfish. You people are OVER-ANALYZING this story.
It’s told from the point of view of a character that was present during the phenomenon, that had no idea what was going on. If the person telling the story doesn’t know, how the hell can you expect to know? I mean, honestly, have we all forgotten that minor fact about reading a story? When an entire story is writen by a single character with a single perspective, unless that character is God or some other orm of omnipotent being, we can’t know anything that character doesn’t.
I liked it. Then again, I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with cliffhangers.
Oh, no they killed Eric! YOU BASTARDS!
Bland pasta
If eric was truly as graceful as an ape then he would have been OK. Also, I don’t believe there was actually a girl there. Girls are too smart to hang out with idiots.
Okie I don’t know where this story was going, kinda felt like I was on a trip myself. uh….
Oh, well, it started out nice. I know well of that area, and it was described nicely, but then it was just…trippy. The ending was totally lame. It seems like perhaps Eric didn’t feel like hanging out with a bunch of potheads after all.
He fucking died. Mystery solved.
Man. I was excited, maybe I’d have something to be afraid of when I went to Seattle every few weeks. But no.
It was almost enjoyable, but if it’s just drugs then.. not really.
So you’re saying if I take drugs I will hallucinate?!??!?
HOLY HELL WHY WASNT I TOLD ABOUT THIS?!?
see, what makes this really creepy to me is that I’ve been to (I’m pretty sure) the exact place OP described…what’s weird is that it looks like an abandoned amusement park, except the stores and entertainment around it are still open, so I always had an eerie feeling when I went through it
this was a few years back, but I’ve had recurring dreams about being back there…
See kids, this is why you don’t do drugs.
Drugs, man, drugs.
Weak. Now I have “I Don’t Like the Drugs (but the Drugs Like Me)” stuck in my head.
I think that all you people yelling about drugs are missing the point of this pasta. The drugs, the hallucination–those things could explain the way the world felt, the air, the chirring, etc, but they cannot explain what happened to Eric. Yes, the conventional explanation is that he had a bad trip, freaked, and ran away, but why was he never seen again? What makes this creepypasta is that the drugs act as a confusing factor–they seem to be the explanation but are not. Something out there, something foreign and hot and wet and chirring (made me think of some kind of horrible jungle bug) is.
Also, I like the grammar exactly how it is. I want creepypasta to sound like it’s being relayed by a person, not crafted by an artist.
Holy crap. Not the scariest story ever, but it redeemed itself if only for the fact that that exact location DOES exist in Seattle and it’s right next to my school. My art class goes to that fair to draw and observe people. Holy crap.
I HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR THE CHIRRING.
THEY ARE ALL THE LANGOLIERS. THE SHROOMS WERE MAGICAL AND SENT EVERYONE TO THE PAST.
=)
Yeah, whatever. I think the pasta was written DURING a bad trip, tbh. 0/10