More-Than-Historical Monument
Somewhere in Brooklyn, New York exists a narrow old-style 12-story building. It looks as though it was built sometime in the late 1800′s or early 1900′s, however the only documentation of the building was in the early 1900′s, when it was first noticed. Nobody really knows where this building came from, but nobody has really bothered to tear it down or do anything with it for as long as it’s been around.
In May 1902, a couple of teenage kids explored the building. Inside, they found a single hallway on each floor of the building. Down each hall there were several doors on each side of the hall. On some floors, there were 31 doors; on others, 30. One even had 28 doors. All the doors, the halls, and the stairwells appeared to be very worn out. For some reason, all the doors had the same rusty labels on them (the label read “1902″), and they were all unlocked. All the rooms looked to be the same; old, dusty, and appearing to fall apart. The first 5 floors of the building were the same, but the teens said that they couldn’t go down the whole 5th floor hallway; they said that there was something about it that seemed to give them chills, practically immobilizing them.
4 months later, they went mad and committed suicide.
After this incident, local scientists began to conduct experiments concerning the building. They sent in mental patients for a period of time, then obesrved their behavior for a period of 6 months afterwards. All but 3 patients were able to emerge from the “haunted” building. It has officially been reported that only the truly heartless and insane are able to go into the building and emerge unharmed (considering that they were already insane before they went in).
The bulding still stands today; it’s just that not many people can locate it. A small group of ghost hunters in December 2008 located this building, thinking that it’s phenomena was the result of ghosts (go figure…). When the went inside, it still looked the same way it was reported over 100 years ago. There’s just a few slight differences:
1. All the labels on the door, although still rusty, no longer read “1902″; they now read “2008″.
2. There appeared to be an extra room on the second floor of the bulding; it was still the same as all the other rooms, however.
3. The ghost hunters were able to make it to the last floor of the building, before that same chilling feeling set into them.
4. There were 3 doors this time around that were locked. Their locations are:
1. On the 6th floor, the 28th door down the hall is locked. Its label reads “1914″, and the smell of death seeps out from under the door.
2. On the 9th floor, the 1st door is also locked. Its label reads “1939″, and it also reeks of death and a German Swastika can be seen carved into the door.
3. Also on the 9th floor, the 11th door down the hall is locked. Its label reads “2001″, and a light layer of smoke can be seen drifting out from under the door.
In February 2009, the team of ghost hunters were admitted into a mental institute for violent and abrupt behaviors. They have been deemed insane. Nobody really knows what evil surrounds this building, but if I were you, I wouldn’t go looking for it…
–
Credited to Neo.
Looking to see what’s in room 2009.
OIC
So each door leads to a different area that is a place where many have died. Kinda lame. Weak ending.
What are you stupid kids doing in my house anyway?!
Wasted chance. Good premise, but it would have been much creepier if it had mentioned how one of the ghost hunters locked himself in the 20th room of the 3rd floor, and suffering from the madness, burned the whole thing down to a crisp. The label was 2010.
Quite creepy, I like it.
This was kind of cool, actually.
It reminds me of house of leaves in a weird way, probably the hallway and doors appearing out of nowhere
So thought this was going to end with something about the year 2012. I am pleasently surprised that it didn’t.
we liked it kinda creepy not too much though
needs more to it some thing missing we r not sure though
end was bad we did like the angry fits though..
Well…meh.
Boring pasta is boring. All it did was describe a mildly interesting setting, but it never actually did anything with it.
Plus, the writing was second-rate.
oh my GOD. it’s NOT 1900′s. it’s 1900s!
it had an interesting premise, but it lacked oomph and accerleration. a lotm ore could have been done with this story.
I liked it. It didn’t really have a scary twist or anything, but I liked the sort of neutral tone. Like it wasn’t trying to scare you, just reporting the facts.
Does anyone except me get that this is essentially a large clock in the form of a building? Facts to support this are 1. 12 floors-12 months in a year, 2.some months have 31 days, some have 30, and feb. has 28-there are these amonts of doors on each floor, 3. 2008 was a leap year, so there would be an extra door/day, 4. all locked doors are dates of events that led to wars- like 6-28-1914 was the date Franz Ferdinand was shot, leading to WW1, 9-1-1939 was the day Nazi Germany invaded Poland, starting WW2, and finally 9-11-2001 was the day terrorists attacked the twin towers, starting the Iraq war. DAMN DO I FEEL SMART!
I assume the floors are months, the rooms are days and the locked doors that reeked of death are large-scale horrible events that took place in that year. Such as holocaust/executions during ww2 from the hands of nazi germans or the plague or the 9/11.
Interestng story.
Make/Post MOAR. >:D
Alright. Could have done way more with this concept for scary factor. But it was Ok.
I liked it.
This did have a really interesting idea, no doubt. Honestly, though, I think that the three locked doors could have used a bit more description and attention to detail, because there are ways it could’ve been made genuinely chilling. I’m actually considering writing my own little contributions to the pasta, maybe a series.
I quite liked this one? Of course, it could’ve been really good if it’d been a bit longer or something, but… it was good.
So all the doors read “2008,” except for June 28th, 1914, September 1st, 1939 (getting less subtle), and September 11th, 2001? That inconsistency bothered me. Good premise, but I was expecting more. Also, if you went into the building on December 31st, you should be able to access every door in the building and not go insane… right?
It was eh
I thought it was quite clever. Not overly creepy, but could be with a little more work. Took me a while to work everything out, especially the significance of an extra room on the 2nd floor in 2008…
WHO WAS DOOR?
I like it..I wonder what bad things are gonna happen in 2009..
is it that Obama is president? lol just kidding
I like it, classic creepypasta style :]
Makes me want to go exploring in the building.
Would have been better if a few more dates were use that were not mass-murders, and an extra date in the near future that allude to another one.
Well, at least 2012 wasn’t mentioned.
I see what you did thar.
What moar said. This is just a typical failed attempt at being scary…
BUT WHO WAS ROOM?
Sorry. Had to.
9/11 is nothing compared to WWI and WWII. Good concept, poor execution. 2/5
Not bad. Seems a bit weird, though, that no other door is locked.
No one did it yet… I won’t either. This one was alright.
ehhhhhh. :l
Wow, guess what you guys, it just hit me, I think each door corrosponds to a day of the month, and each floor corresponds to a day of the year.
Wow, that’s really ingeniously written.
So why were only three doors locked instead of all of them? 26,000 kids die every day from starvation and disease. That’s way more than the number of people that died on 9/11. I guess they aren’t as important cause they’re poor and generally not in first world countries. Furthermore, if the 9/11 door was locked, why was there not a door for the bombing in the subway in England?
Boring pasta, and kind of arrogant.
you fucking idiots, each floor was a month, each day was a day in the month, every time there is a massive incedent, it’s year is stuck and there is a relative vibe from that room (september 11 2001, the holocaust and the death of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo which doesn’t really make sense but still…) so stop being dumbass faggots
well…the floors are months…so i guess this building has 12 floors…and all those rooms with different numbers when the ghost hunters went in, were actually dates of “major events” like september 11 2001…an interesting so-so pasta =)
If it weren’t for the last room’s info I wouldn’t have thought to check the other dates. I figured the three rooms were for the three mental patients that didn’t make it out. Interesting concept that could use some more development I think but still not bad.
Packin my bags for NYC, cya later! Fwahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!
kind of obvious that it records major world tragedies. wonder what happens when the rooms fill up and are all locked?
A very interesting idea, though I think it could’ve been taken a lot further. Maybe if the unlocked rooms were filled with relics or representative objects/pictures from that time period. Since some periods of time would be best shown by war and death, those rooms would of course be locked. The terrifying chill and depraved mental patients don’t really seem to fit. Or does the chill prevent them from passing into the hallways with future dates? That would make sense. But then they wouldn’t be able to visit future months from past years.
“Upon opening the last door on the twelfth floor, with the label 2009, the ghost hunters were consumed by a raging inferno.”
The writing style ruined it.
CRAZY BUILDING DID 9/11
*sigh* It stopped creeping me out when I realized that the rooms had to do with the bloodiest events in human history >_>
Cool premise, very imaginative and spooky. Did the doors lead across time to the events themselves then? If yes then that’s extra awesome. Kinda like a mash-up between Monsters Inc. and that hallway from The Matrix Reloaded.
I liked it, i liked how the floors were months and doors were days..and they didnt mention the three doors because of the wars or whatever, but those must have been the ones those three people who died there went it. thats why they were locked. Ya KNOW?
^.^
Heh, this place would be fucking awesome to explore.
One floor for each month of the year, one room for each day of each month, totaling 365 or 366 depending on the year, due to the extra room on the 2nd floor from the Leap Year.
In case anyone gives a shit, the dates on the three locked doors represent, in order, Archduke Ferdinand’s assassination, setting off WWI, the day Hitler and Nazi Germany invaded Poland, setting off WWII, and of course, the terrorist attacks on the USA on 9/11, setting off what may believe to be World War Three.
YEAHOKAY.
:> I don’t know how to feel about this…
Also, 9/11 isn’t the bloodiest thing after the two World Wars. I can think of a ton of bloodier skeletons in those closets, to be sure. And I wonder why the doors only seem to manifest the attributes of their representative days after someone appears die within them.
Ehh was alright, I wanted to know what was gonna be in room 2009 though :/
Good idea for the story though!
Ehh was alright, I wanted to know what was gonna be in room 2009 :/
Good idea for the story though!
Uh damn i posted twice, the second one i got rid of ‘though’
MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
For those that “figured out” the building was a horrible event calendar – congratulate yourselves for having a keen sense for the obvious. But this just shows the cultural bias possessed by most authors of dreary cum clever pasta.
What about the Indonesian tsunami? Where is the room that smells like watery death? The Rwandan genocide? The Cambodian killing fields? Meh.
An overall cool idea though.
the reason they went crazy is because they could see the future. which no man should be allowed to see.
they saw 2012. bingo
BUT WHO WAS AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALIST/BAD AT HISTORY?
The Philippine-American war (July 4, 1902)
Herero and Namaqua Genocide (January 12, 1904)
Armenian Genocide (April 24, 1915)
Rape of Nanking (December 13, 1937)
Operation Searchlight(1971 Bangladesh Atrocities) (March 25, 1971)
Soviet-Afghan War (August 7, 1978)
I’m tired of remembering/looking up dates, so:
Assyrian Genocide: 1914
Russian Civil War: 1917
Guatemalan Civil War: Started in 1960, continued for 36 years.
Burundi Genocide #1: 1972
Khimer Rouge purges: 1970s
Anyanya I (Sudanese Civil War): 1971
Ethiopian “Red Terror:” 1977
Anyanya II (Second Sudanese Civil War): 1983
Burundi Genocide #2: 1993
al-Anfal Campaign: 1989
War in Darfur: 2003-Present
TLDR crazy shit happens all the time and 99% of it is way more hardcore than boring 9/11.
Just reread it and… what’s so scary about the entire month of May (5th floor hallway is too scary to go down)? I’m no history buff. I’m sure I’ll feel dumb when I figure it out, but…
What’s so scary about May? O.o
to Chinchillazilla: they couldn’t go beyond may because they entered the building in may of that year, and therefore the next floor was the future…
This is cool. I want to know more.
Exactly, lovecraft.
Personally, I want to find this place, go in with a video camera and a few spare memory cards and record the ENTIRE thing.
If anyone finds the location of the place, let me know.
Great concept.
Decent telling.
Cool! My house is in this pasta!!
Never have I seen a bigger crowd of idiots.
The 9/11 thing was the only American tragedy of the three locked doors. Stop pretending this thing is all about America, just because you like to blame everything on us and make it known that we aren’t the only country with tragedies.
Second, they do not just depict horrible events in history. Obviously every single fucking door would be locked, except February 29, because bad shit has happened on every damn day except Leap Day. The three events are “World Wars”, supposedly 9/11 being the start of the third one.
This has nothing to do with being particular to a certain tribe or country, or political affiliations. So get over yourselves, newfags, and grow up.
Btw, your pasta was fucking boring and obvious.
The three labels on the doors mark bad times in history.
1914 is the start of World war I
1939 is the start of world war II
and 2001 is obviously the year of 9/11
there is a room for each day of the year and that’s why instead of 28 there were 29.
I wonder what’s in room 2012…..
@Omg.
It’s you. You’re the idiot. Speaking as an American, if my previous post lead you to believe otherwise, there are dozens of historical events more immediately deadly and more lastingly transformative than the attacks of 9/11. UNSC Resolution 82 (June 25, 1950) and the Gulf of Tonkin Incident (August 2, 1964) are both good examples, but neither you nor the author know this because you’re both stupid.
The 1939 start date for WWII is also bogus as the Mudken Incident happened on September 18th, 1931 and was a prelude to the Japanese invasion of Manchuria and the Second Sino-Japanese War (1937). The author’s ignorance of these events clearly shows that his/her understanding of the larger conflict is limited to “big war in which the USA fought the Nazis or something.”
In conclusion, the author is bad at history, 9/11 was a historical footnote at best and not the start of a third world war, and you should never speak authoritatively about history ever again.
Jordan, you aren’t the only one who got that-and as for feeling smart, sometimes the comments on this site will do that for you.
i wonder what would happen if you were in the 29th room on the second floor during midnight on the last day of any leap year…
What’s in the room for December 21, 2012?
Shan, get it right. The world will supposedly end on 12/12/12, or December 12th, of the year 2012, and, depending on who you talk to, at 12 minutes and 12 seconds past 12 AM, making it 12/12/12/ at 12:12:12.
@ Anon: my guess is you would be locked in there, with no one being any the wiser, for a full four years, until Feb 29 rolls around, then you would be free to GTFO back to your life, assuming you survived.
And I know PLENTY of historians, both inside and outside the US, that considered the Nazi invasion of Poland the official beginning of World War Two, and how can you NOT call the war in the ME WWIII? Every country that was involved in the previous two has been involved here, both in the actual combat as well as providing aid to one side or the other.
Very good Pasta
! i am pleased XD
*sigh* Don’t you people get it? He only listed 3 bloody moments ‘cuz if he listed them all, almost all the doors would be locked.
Also, he’s still probably in some stupid history class or somethin’ which would be why he only listed WWI, WWII, and 9/11, so all of you people listing a bunch of random dates, STFU!!
By the sound of the story, there’s nothing scary about May; it’s just that the kids went in on May 1902. If they went any further month-wise, they would’ve been in the future, so he made a case where they couldn’t go any further.
Boring telling, but good idea, overall. Some of you people need to get over your temper tantrums!
*sigh* Don’t you people get it? He only listed 3 bloody moments ‘cuz if he listed them all, almost all the doors would be locked.
Also, he’s still probably in some stupid history class or somethin’ which would be why he only listed WWI, WWII, and 9/11, so all of you people listing a bunch of random dates, STFU!!
By the sound of the story, there’s nothing scary about May; it’s just that the kids went in on May 1902. If they went any further month-wise, they would’ve been in the future, so he made a case where they couldn’t go any further.
Boring telling, but good idea, overall. Some of you people need to get over your temper tantrums!
i liked this one
to some of you asking why didn’t the author add other dates of tragic world events
i don’t think the building is supposed to show world events maybe it’s only supposed to be the biggest tragidies that involved the united states
but then why didnt the author mention the 1960s?
civil rights activists and one of the most popular and loved presidents being assinated, vietnam war coming, cold war conflicts
i don’t know i’m just guessing though, i’m dumb
9/11 started a huge chain of events, to some it really defined an era. It’s a lot more than the death toll.
Somewhere in Brooklyn, New York exists a narrow old-style 12-story building. It looks as though it was built sometime in the late 1800’s or early 1900’s, however the only documentation of the building was in the early 1900’s, when it was first noticed. Nobody really knows where this building came from, but nobody has really bothered to tear it down or do anything with it for as long as it’s been around.
In May 1902, a couple of teenage kids explored the building. Inside, they found a single hallway on each floor of the building. Down each hall there were several doors on each side of the hall. On some floors, there were 31 doors; on others, 30. One even had 28 doors. All the doors were locked, because bad shit has happened every day.
***
There, rewrote it for you pricks. Like it better now?
Stop getting but-hurt about it being and about the US
The building is located in New York douche bags.
Of course it’s gonna be about the us.
WWI the US was involed and so was everyone else.
WWII the US was in there too.
9/11 Was a major In the US
So STFU
Agreed. I think that 9/11 was nowhere near what should have been included.
A fine premise for a pasta. Poor execution. Not bad writing though.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_disasters_by_death_toll
Hey Reader, major my ASS
The reason it is so, “random,” in the dates is because in 1902 none of those things had yet happened. Therefore the dates could not be labeled. Although if they would have been that would have made for a great story. Also the reason the kids couldn’t go past the 6th hall is because they couldn’t step into the future. Thank you.
The writer was trying to imply 9/11 was the catalyst for World War III, you goddamn retards. Stop getting pissy with your hyper-sensitive feelings of being left out, even if it was a building of tragedies, the writer would have had to pick and choose, which would invariably still make people bitch and moan about discrimination and lack of historic knowledge for the ones omitted.
Does this building really exist ? If so, could someone please send me a picture of it ?
@ Dead Rain.
Hahaha, my bad.
tThe door number is the fucking year people.
Well I think each floor represented a month and then each door where the ‘death smell’ came from. And then the year was marked on the door. Seems pretty obvious to me.
Yay I was vote #69
+ Interesting idea, but it didn’t really creep me out/ scare me.
Nice try.
what’s with all the retards not understanding that the first two were the catalysts for their corresponding wars, and the author was trying to imply 9/11 was the cause for WW3?
this is why people shouldn’t come into my house! they always become insane. honestly! why do you think i try to hide it?
I got it as soon as it said there were some with 30 doors and some with 31 doors…
And on the 12th floor the 23rd door is labeled 2012 and if you listen closely you can hear non-lame creepypasta being read inside the room.
Geez, some people are stupid. 9/11 signaled the start of the war in Iraq. A lot of people believe that that will grow into WWIII. Notice that the dates mentioned are all the start of infamous wars.
And yes, it was fairly obvious that it was a giant calendar type house (chocolate advent calendar perhaps).
Fine pasta. Interesting idea, could use more detail and such.
Wow, it’s surprising how few people got the point of this pasta.
The idea wasn’t ‘dates of tragedies’ ‘infamous wars’ ‘mass murders’ or anything generic like that
World Wars, and the events that started them. That’s it, pure and simple.
Ferdinand taking a bullet led to the Great War…
The invasion of Poland led to the sequel
The implication is (probably rather accurately, too) that the Jews doing WTC will lead (if it hasn’t already) to Number 3.
All of you retards can stop speculating, and QQing about ‘BUT WHY WAS UNLOCKED DOOR?!’
This was well written, a sound concept, and, for those of us who were able to understand what the fuck was going on, something to think about
wow that is like really awsome i had chills i really get it also knowing wich i a movie has number kinda like this with the numbers
@ Shan: S’aight, man.
Also, this is another pasta that I can personally confirm is real. I HAVE seen this building. I have gone inside, seen what is behind the locked doors (yay god for deer slugs) and pushed into the future. Don’t ask how I did it, as just thinking about it is enough to drive me to near insanity.
Unfortunately, my attempts to record it failed, as all electronics, from my camera, to my watch, my MP3 player and my cell phone, all went dead when the door shut behind me. I will live forever with the memories, haunted by what I have seen.
Countdown to Obama’s death: 27 days.
Countdown to the election of the next Republican POTUS: 2 months.
Countdown to the end of the world: 50 years.
In short, Obama is screwed, 2012 is bullshit, good day and good night.
It would have been better if all the doors had been evil/decayed/bloody/flooded/etc, EXCEPT the one for the leap year (29th Feb). Throw out some dates/references for the doors, like the start of WW2 and whatnot.
Insert house owner into the 29th room (God, The Rake, Sadako, Holder, Cthulhu, whateverthefuck).
Imply that the universe started (relatively and approximately speaking) 13.7 billion years ago on the 29th of Feb. Also implicate that it will end on the same date.
God/whoever opens curtains, reveals the end of the universe. People in the house watching go insane.
Congratulations: I have fixed your crappypasta.
WHO WAS WORLD WAR?
Also, room 1939 has gotta be a big room.
2001 needs a fire extinguisher.
@Dead Rain
It’s July 8 and Obama isn’t dead yet. Thank you for putting your sanity on the line for the good old US of A! Your premonition must have been what saved him.
OH CRAP I MEANT JULY 9!
Me=n00b :C
Does anyone else see this as being a potential SCP?
This didn’t scare me, but the idea fascinates me. It is an interesting setting, for sure.
I don’t know if I would have limited it to world wars; but then again, that’s just me.
I c whut u did thar
12th floor – 21st room, 2012
Jordan, as soon as the narrator said “On some floors, there were 31 doors; on others, 30. One even had 28 doors.” I thought “DERP!”
This was half decent until you insinuated that 9/11 was as bad as world war 1 and 2.
Bullshit
Kind of disapointed. I was hoping for more (and maybe a 2012 refferance).
I dun shit my pants
It was pretty OK until the end – really, why just three events? If we’re talking about only loss of American life, what about the Civil War? Or, what Hurricane Katrina – add the missing persons to the death toll, and it killed almost as many people as 9/11. If it’s global war, why not include the Crusades, as they were quite bloody and brutal and involved almost all of the known world at the time? Or, as someone else mentioned, the London subway bombings, or the Madrid train bombings?
I’m pretty sure that there’s some way the ending could be rewritten so it’s creepier, although a 2012 reference would just be lame…
Total Cheese! if i knew where this place was i would go and prove this is bullllllshit. so if anyone can tell me the address please do.
WIN
the 2009 door has the smell of shitty american cars coming from under it. and of course the fat cats down at wall street.
Cool concept; poor execution.
It’s implying that 9/11 began world war three
wow that was sooooo
crap : ¬ (
why even bother??
reminds me of the movie mirrors, with the insanity factor and the building. i liked the telling, however, completely obvious in it.
Not very good in my opinion. A 12 story building, no one knows where it is, who owns it, runs it, changes the labels on doors. Everyone went insane? Details about unimportant things, with no link to anything else.
To start out, you might either have a good building that went bad, or something that was built and it was bad at the beginning. It needs a location, not “somewhere in Brooklyn”. Even a general location would help. It also needs to pass the credibility test. If everyone who went into a building came out suicidal or insane, just perhaps it might have a little fame, even in the Big Apple. Even a deli that had reported mouse turds in their food would be well reported on, so one that drove everyone nuts might have some notoriety.
omg i so believe this because it was written on the internet and noone could have ever made up a story about a 12 story building that nobody knows about (how the fuck could nobody notice a 12 story building?)
Cool how the 12 floors, 28-31 rooms correlates to our calendar. Maybe it could be used as a tool?
I think that could have been creepy if the author had the mental patients rant about the terribble things they saw in the future.
Y’all underrstand that there were only three events becuz only three people went in. Also, I opened a door and found…
PEDOBEAR!!!!!!!1! O_o
I’m so slow it took me a while to figure out the building is a calendar. Good job, very creepy.
pasta had a good premise, but was pretty badly executed. People going mad after being in a haunted building is oooooooooooooold.
Proper spelling help validate this
Proper spelling helps validate this story
Does no one see a correlation between the floor (month) and room (day) when it comes to the events… it’s kinda lame, but psychologically has a decent set-up
omg you remembered the leap year. congratulations!
http://wonderingminstrels.blogspot.com/2001/09/september-1-1939-w-h-auden.html
Here is the poem. September 1, 1939. It will tell you the location of the building.
Were is this building i wanna go insane. :l
Hmm
Boy, if I was somebody living in the year 1902, I sure would not let my teenage kid wander around in someone’s house. This was before equal rights, after all.
Haha, June 28th is my birthday. That’s kinda funny. Maybe the bodies I stashed in there were starting to decompose…
Wow, I feel like a moron. I didn’t realize that 06/28/1914 was the start of WWI
“The smell of death”? Really?
Tell me where this is.
I’d like to investigate.
*QUE CRAPPY MUSIC CONCERNING GHOST BUSTING*
Honestly, am I the only one who reads the comments on here BEFORE I post my own??? Like 8 people have been all “HURRR WHY ONLY U.S. TRAGEDIES HURRR” *sigh* -.-
I don’t claim to be super smart or anything, but you could at least check some things out or the VERY least take a few minutes to THINK before you post a comment. Even if it is on something as small as creepypasta. blah. done with that rant.
I found this pasta rather enjoyable. I liked the references to the World Wars and how 9/11 could be the start of a third World War. I liked it a lot.
Interesting, and nice concept. But why does it only close doors for American tragedies or tragedies Americans were directly related in? Why not some locked doors for other wars, genocides, natural disasters, and unaccountable tragedies. Also, why does the house follow the Gregorian calendar, when others are far more accurate and older? Yes, I’m picking nits, but I was so distracted by these questions it took away some of the pleasure of reading. This is a good start, but the story itself is a bit myopic.
pics, or it didnt happen.
Not that good in my opinion. Too subtle, didn’t explain anything or describe stuff enough to make it interesting and easier to understand. Also I got the point of the story already in the very beginning.