Grimm
He came for me in winter. Now that I think of it, He would have never come at any other time.
You see, He likes to play; He likes to have fun with his charges. It must be awfully boring otherwise, His job that is.
I knew it was my turn, saw the warning signs. As I said, the sick bastard likes to have fun.
First signs are usually so small one might miss them, like whispers in an empty room. A flit in the corner of the eye, a shadow in a hallway. Signs so minute, it takes those experienced with Him to see.
He’ll fix your feet so you can’t walk,
He’ll fix your jaw so you can’t talk.
Then: Paranoia. Someone is watching you. It’s in the closet, He’s hiding under your bed. He’s coming for you, and there is nothing you can do.
Well, what is this that I can’t see
With ice-cold hands taking hold of me?
Paranoia is where I think He has the most fun, I personally think he just lets it do its own thing and just watches His chosen tear their own lives apart. This can stretch on for years, decades. Sanity unwinds, madness reigns supreme.
Oh- How you’re treating me,
You’ve closed my eyes so I can’t see.
Time to time, he may honor you by showing himself. Of course, he won’t just pop in and introduce Himself. Where’s the fun in that?
No, He prefers to be seen only in partial glimpses. A slim shadow in an alley, a flash of a well-trimmed suit. A hand, spider-like in its length of digits, carving your name in the steam while you relax in the shower; a wheezy sigh from the foot of your bed as you drift off to sleep.
He doesn’t care about age, laughs aloud at the offer of money. Where He takes you, neither matters.
No wealth, nor land, nor silver, nor gold.
Nothing satisfies Him but your soul.
He has existed as long as man, and by His very nature means that He will outlast us all.
He has many names, some old as language itself. He has been called the Slender Man, Thanatos, Malach HaMavet. He is El Muerte, the Reaper of the Abyss. He is Abbadon, the fallen angel.
He is the Last Horseman, the Rider on a pale horse.
When god is cold, and the devil takes hold,
He will have mercy upon your soul.
I can hear him calling for me, His cruel titter like a cross between a child’s and a fiddle. He knows where I hide, but He doesn’t mind. And why should He?
The children played, the preacher preached.
Time and mercy are out of your reach.
He stalks this place. Can’t you hear?
O Death-
Won’t you spare me another year?
Grimm,
This would have been awesome if just one little bit had been left out:
“He has many names, some old as language itself. He has been called the Slender Man, Thanatos, Malach HaMavet. He is El Muerte, the Reaper of the Abyss. He is Abbadon, the fallen angel.
He is the Last Horseman, the Rider on a pale horse.”
It might just be me, but that really took me out of the story. I was captivated until my eyes hit “He has been called the Slender Man”, at which point they rolled slightly.
Your prose is brilliant, though. I really dig the writing style you used.
It does feel like a stretch to ascribe Slenderman the same level of significance as those other personifications of death, but even though I don’t entirely agree with that (and thus, agree with your comment that that did hurt the story a bit overall), I do like the idea that he is nothing but another personification of death.
I loved it, especially how it was kind of poetic. (^.^)
I liked this very much.
History is a good element to a pasta about a demon.
And its refreshing to see a good short pasta-the first for a while.
10/10
Actually, the first Rider of Apocalypse is the White Rider, and he is the announcer of the AntiChrist, and the Rider of Conquest. The Rider of Death is the Green one, or the Yellow, it depends. Some might even refer to Black, though the Black is the Famine.
I like the pasta, despite this. Oh, and Slender Man? For real? Herp derp
Whoops, can’t help it. Suppose it’s my Christian upbringing straining against half-mistruths (really, it varies on the translation of the original Hebrew), but MOST of the people I know have read the King James version or something similar, which states (of all the horses of the Apocalypse, with the pertinent verse pulled out):
Rev. 6:2; And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.
Rev. 6:4; And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.
Rev. 6:5-6; And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.
REV. 6:8; And I looked, and behold a PALE horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
Anyway, to the author:
This was a pretty neat take on the old mythos. Poor Slendy is pretty exhausted by now, and I think you could have done away with that particular name, or at least saved the “revelation” (heheh) for the last line or so… but I LOVED the fact that he was connected with other “Big Bads” throughout human mythology.
Nitpicking, I was a little bugged by the fact that only half of the couplets were italicized. They both should have been, in my opinion, but I suppose that’s a stylistic choice.
4/5 stars, anyway. c: I wish I could give 4.5/5, but alas!
“I looked and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him.”
-Revelations 6
It IS sometimes shown as green, I’ll give you that.
but pale seemed to give a better image, IMHO.
As for tossing in the Slendy reference, I was trying to tie in that maybe the SM is just a facet of death, but it seemed to just blow up in my face haha.
Cheers for the C&C, though.
Is that based off of a song? I’ve heard the song and just listened to it again to confirm.
The song is called ‘O Death’
So… I’m the only one who knew it was Slender by the “…flash of a well-trimmed suit. A hand, spider-like in its length of digits…”
Nope, not the only one.
He definitely wasn’t
I’m glad that it didn’t really play on the Slenderman much.
Everything was pretty good until I read “Slender Man”.
It was a good pasta, but I wish that bit was left out. I almost felt as though it made it less serious and interesting.
Amazing
I completely loved it.
absolutely brilliant! I love it <3 Bravo a delicious pasta!
Usually I’m not a fan of Slender Man pastas, but this one was great! I liked how it was sort of a poem. The only think I didn’t like was when it mentioned Slender Man as one of the names. It kind of killed the mood a bit for me.
I’m no sure if this is why I am paranoid, or it’s because I have just always been paranoid. Or if I have always been paranoid for this reason… hmm…
i see nothing in this story but a stupid man
This was amazing, and pretty much the best slenderman pasta. That is because it wasn’t a real Slendy pasta. I liked this, however I have just read the book “The Book Thief” which had death as a narrator, and he was kind, so :l
Slender Man is not death… as a person who obsessed about slender man once upon a midnight dreary, I am somewhat offended that you would suggest such a ridiculous notion. 10/10.
Why has no one mentioned Jen Titus? This was probably written after a specific episode of Supernatural.
Slender man? SLENDER MAN?? Surely you jest, to claim that such an insignificant creature could be among some of the most powerful entities in existence. Let me tell you what your precious Slender Man is; he’s nothing, just an accumulation of fear who stole a form that you insects provided. He is pitiful, relying on cliched methods to wring a little fear out of the only creatures more insignificant than himself; humans.
Oh wow so original, hop on the slenderman bandwagon. Just like kony and adalia rose
surely you dont mean to tell me that a stupid video game character is supposed to be the most powerful and evil character in the world i liked the oh death refference though nice touch wrong song for the slenderman but nice touch
my brothers of light and dark despise this “slender man” why must you humans insult death so? we have never insult you so why do you insult is!?