Scary Paranormal Stories & Short Horror Microfiction

Creepypasta

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Rating: 7.7/10 (2200 votes cast)

I waved goodbye to my friends as I stepped off the bus and headed to my house. I was super excited to get home and see my parents. They hadn’t talked much at all yesterday. As a matter of fact they just stayed in their bedroom all day. They haven’t been feeling well. I ran up the stairs of the front porch and swung the front door open with a big, cheesy grin on my face; However, when I opened the door there was no one in the den. The television was off and the house seemed to be abnormally quiet. I took a step in and started calling out.

“Mom? Dad?” I called. I knew they were supposed to be here. Dad had the day off and mom didn’t have any plans with her girlfriend’s until next week, right? I placed my backpack on the ground next to the couch and walked into the kitchen to check the calendar. October fifth. I was right. Dad took this day off so him, mom, and I could go see a movie together. “They’ve got to be here somewhere”, I thought myself.  Then it hit me. School let out early today because of a busted water pipe. I looked at the watch on my wrist. “It’s only twelve o’ clock. They may still be sleeping.” I headed back through the den and slowly opened their bedroom door. Surely enough, there they lie. A sigh of relief escaped my mouth and my grin returned. I tiptoed over to my mom’s side of the bed and pulled the covers back.

I was greeted with the same sight as the day before. She lay there motionless, eyes glazed over, mouth agate. Her skin was a pale white and her hair was beginning to thin. The soup I gave her yesterday sat on the bedside table. It was stale now and she hadn’t even touched it. I’m beginning to think they don’t want to feel better. I placed the cover back over her head, grabbed the old soup and left the room slowly closing the door behind me. I decided not to wake either of them considering they must need their sleep. I’m sure they will be up for it tomorrow. Until then, I have a ton of Psychology homework to be done. We’re doing this paper on people who have some type of disorder causing them to live in denial of even some of the most obvious things. I couldn’t imagine living like that.

Credit To – Dusty Davis

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Rate This Pasta
Rating: 7.7/10 (2200 votes cast)
Denial, 7.7 out of 10 based on 2200 ratings
  • Liu

    Gave it a 2, too predictable, more sad than scary but more cheesy than sad. If there had been some sort of twist, then you would have gotten me. I like the style, just not the content.

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    Rating: +20 (from 32 votes)
    • Anonymous

      I dount know I like it

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      Rating: 0 (from 6 votes)
  • The Reader

    So your title gives away the twist immediately. The way the parents are first mentioned (not talking, staying in the bedroom all day) also makes the twist incredibly obvious. The ending felt a little cheesy to me, the whole “Gotta go do my homework on denial. Gee, I’m glad I don’t have that!” as his/her parents lay rotting in bed….I think it’s a creepy premise, and I think you have a good start. You could do a lot more with the story, and I think it deserves a rewrite and expansion. :)

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    Rating: +44 (from 50 votes)
  • LovesGod

    Yea, I totally agree with THE READER. The story had alot of potential but it was so predictable. I knew what was going to happen after I read the first three lines.

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    Rating: +9 (from 11 votes)
  • Lee

    Did creepypasta and crappypasta sites switch?

    I don’t see how the last few made it onto the site. Slow season?

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    Rating: -8 (from 20 votes)
  • Potato

    Just tooooo predicteable
    And last bit oh god -__-

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    Rating: +10 (from 10 votes)
    • Potato

      The*

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      Rating: -6 (from 18 votes)
  • Anonymous

    For me there was a bit of twist. Initially I thought that maybe the author was a ghost in denial and the parents had been mourning. But then it turned out that it was the parents who were dead all along. So it wasn’t too bad. The ending, while cheesy, was very nice in my opinion. Kind of like those Japanese ghost stories.

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    Rating: +4 (from 16 votes)
  • Legolas Greenleaf

    this was good. I liked it.

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    Rating: +5 (from 17 votes)
  • Anonymous

    That was like a Stephen King story titled ‘Under the Weather’. It was a definite steal.

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    Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)
  • dildoman

    super predictable, and would be better off without the whole denial thing at the end

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    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  • http://---- The kitten

    Nice. I found the very end amusing…

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    Rating: +6 (from 10 votes)
  • Tariq R.

    In addition to comments already said, I thought a few things were weird.

    1. Mom’s don’t really have “girlfriends” after becoming Mom’s. Idk, that was just strange to me.

    2. Lol. Kid is obviously young if they take a schoolbus home. Too young to be taking a psychology class. It just doesn’t seem realistic.

    3. End (I mean the last few lines about psychology class/denial) was too straightforward.

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    Rating: -11 (from 15 votes)
    • http://www.creepypasta.com derpbutt

      What a strange and somewhat depressing idea your #1 is – the idea that women cease to have female friendships once they have children. It’s certainly not accurate when I think of my female friends who are mothers and all the mothers in my family.

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      Rating: +17 (from 19 votes)
    • The Reader

      I’m a mother. I have girlfriends. My social life didn’t die with my son’s birth.

      Also, lots of high schools offer psychology classes. And bus rides home.

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      Rating: +27 (from 29 votes)
    • Aimee

      1. I’m a mom, I habe girlfriends. My mom took weekend trips to visit one of her girlfriends all the time growing up. So no.
      2. I took psychology my sophomore year of high school, 15 years of age, still taking the bus, so no.
      3. I think it would have been better placed at the beginning, perhaps mentioning spacing out on the.lesson in denial because they were thinking about how excited they were to see if their parents were feeling better.

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      Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  • WolfyGirl

    I thought it was pretty funny, but I wanted something scary…

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Wtf was that about. Lame story.

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    Rating: -7 (from 7 votes)
  • Anonymous

    Tariq R.:
    In addition to comments already said, I thought a few things were weird.

    1. Mom’s don’t really have “girlfriends” after becoming Mom’s. Idk, that was just strange to me.

    2. Lol. Kid is obviously young if they take a schoolbus home. Too young to be taking a psychology class. It just doesn’t seem realistic.

    3. End (I mean the last few lines about psychology class/denial) was too straightforward.

    In my high school you’re actually able to take a physcology class as a sophomore.

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    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  • Emily

    I thought it was pretty creepy &really clever how you incorporated the psychology homework in there. I liked it, I give it 8.

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    Rating: +5 (from 7 votes)
  • Professor

    Tariq R.:
    In addition to comments already said, I thought a few things were weird.

    1. Mom’s don’t really have “girlfriends” after becoming Mom’s. Idk, that was just strange to me.

    2. Lol. Kid is obviously young if they take a schoolbus home. Too young to be taking a psychology class. It just doesn’t seem realistic.

    3. End (I mean the last few lines about psychology class/denial) was too straightforward.

    4. Our brilliant young psychologist could not actually figure to call for an ambulance for his parents.

    Concerning #1, it is a matter of culture. In some African cultures, a woman is not allowed to have female friends after marriage, believe it or not. What you have mentioned may refer to the Islamic tradition.

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    Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)
  • Ethan Thomas

    Not a bad premise. It really has some good potential. However, the story was too predictable. Because of the title, I was able to guess what the ending would be after a couple of lines.

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  • http://CREEPYPASTA.com HolyDonuts

    This story is just like ‘The Landlady’
    I give it a 4/10

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • LilCreepyPasta

    October 5 is my birthday

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    Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)
  • Elijah Cassalia

    I don’t have an e-mail

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Ryann

    Little more length would have been nice. How’d they die?

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • http://cytofficial.weebly.com/ CYT

    I liked it but it could be better :)

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  • Chris

    I really liked the twist, but I also agree it was too predictable. Spelling and grammatical errors are huge turn-offs for anyone in the online community, so watch that as well. Maybe change the narrator to a community college freshman or a summer school student as psychology isn’t a common item in high school curricula. Granted, I don’t see anywhere in there that this is a high school student were talking about, but I read it that way.

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    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
  • Eshed Benayun

    7/10. Although I was a little surprised by the twist , I suppose the title kinda predicted it.
    Besides that, it was well written. loved it.

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  • Anonymous

    Very predictable, try making a Creepypasta that doesn’t give the whole story away with the title.

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