Creepy Pasta With A Side Of Sauce
This thing on? I guess it is. I can see the little light on the recorder and it isn’t flashing just yet. This is a…well, OK. It isn’t a last will of any sort. It’s a recording of the freaky stuff I just saw. Saw and ate. Oh god, that was bad. Not the previous phrase but the food. Well, OK. Let me start at the beginning. As in a few hours ago and what the hell I did at that café. If it was a café in the first place.
Got a call from an old school friend. She wanted to meet me for a bite to eat. She’s a damn hot chick and I hadn’t seen her in a good long time. Course, I kept in contact over the ‘net – with a body like hers I’d have been stupid not to. Plus, I was hoping to get lucky with her. Oh man, I’m drooling. Uh…yeah, OK, so where was I? Oh yeah, I go to the meeting place and it’s something that looks like an abandoned building. All hollowed out. I think to myself this isn’t the place. Look at the address: 13 Kent Street. It synched with the numbers on the building. Funny thing is, this is a building in the middle of a busy city.
Abandoned, but people were walking outside. Asking me what I was doing here and who was I meeting. Of course, I told them to fuck off – it’s my own business to be hanging around out here. Damn, if I only knew then…but damn, I wouldn’t have run. She was stunning. Came towards me and I knew then that I would be having fun soon. Of course…well, I shouldn’t say. Took my hand with hers and said that it was great to see me in the flesh again. I asked what we were doing here…and why everyone avoided it. She avoided the question by kissing me…and I can’t really remember what happened after that – except we were in the building.
Man, inside it wasn’t abandoned, but it was a bustling business. God, did I just say that? Bustling. Christ, who says that word now? I’ll have a look in the dictionary when I get home. Internet. I meant internet. God, what is wrong with my speech now? Gah…oh well, it was a busy café. She directed me to a table and we sat down. Small talk…we were gazing into each other’s eyes. God, that sounds so fucking clichéd, but for two people who hadn’t seen each other in a good long while…OK, going off track here and I don’t know what the hell is going on with me. Menu was pretty normal…all pasta. Nothing but pasta. Yeah, drinks were normal and there were hamburgers, but different. Never seen a cheeseburger pasta before.
She knew the place and she ordered for me. Didn’t catch the name of the dish. While it came, we talked. She told me how she always had a huge crush on me and never said anything. I was stunned, but my tongue loosened and I confessed the same. We got closer and god, I was about to kiss her again when the food came. I must’ve looked annoyed cause she laughed and reached under the table to…OK, losing thought here. Gotta focus. Pasta was good. Slightly tasted of iron, but I brushed that off as a figment of my imagination. The meat was tender and slightly tasted of chicken. Then again, what meat out there doesn’t taste like chicken in some way? Something nagged at me and I looked up to see everyone in the joint was staring at me. Julia – the chick I was with – was smiling sweetly at me…but, there was something in their eyes. I don’t know what it was. Something…dead, I guess is the best word. Damn, that was freaky. And then I had another glance at the pasta. God, I wish I hadn’t.
I can’t even describe what was in the bowl. Maggots, leeches, centipedes, spiders. All crawling around fettuccine and lashings of chunky tomato sauce. And then something made me look closer at the sauce. Looked normal enough and tasted great. Strange chunks of meat though. What I thought was chicken or beef. So I had established three things. One, the pasta was really a bug-laden Frankenstein monstrosity. Two, it tasted really great – needed a bit less salt though. And three, everyone was giving me dead eyes. Right. Of course, I could have retched and run out of the place, but where was I going to go? I’ve got nothing out there – no job, no cash and stuck in a cardboard box in Hyde Park. Not literally though. No family either. And, the insects gave the pasta body and texture. I stayed in my seat and ate the rest – while the patrons burst into spontaneous applause. Now that was creepy.
Hmm? Oh nothing much, I’m just dictating what happened. Really? No, this recorder doesn’t have a multi-directional mic. Yeah, only my voice. So, we opening up shop? Well, gosh. I know dear, we have to keep more people coming to us. Yes, I know. We will…soon. So John wants more funnelwebs in the sauce? I’ll see what I can do. Yes, I love you too, Jules. Yes, he’ll be perfect for our needs. If he isn’t…well, yes. That’s perfect. Let me finish this up and I’ll go with you. Five minutes? All right, I’ll catch up.
Where was I? Ah yes, after the lunch…meal, I was questioned by Julia. She wanted to know if I wanted to stay with her. I said yes and she showed me the inner workings of the café. Turns out everyone working here is dead. Great cooks though. Hard workers as well. Me and Julia, we are the channelers of the outside. We meet people online and take on the guise of people they haven’t seen for a very long time. We lure them in for one of two purposes. One – we always need new workers. The undead only last so long before they’re put to pasture – literally.
The other purpose. Well, it’s in the sauce.
It’s all in the sauce…
–
Credited to LordRex.
Hrmm…….there comes a time when even I have to put my foot down, I suppose. As such, here we go:
WTF? Zombie and bug pasta sauce? Is that supposed to be cute or something? Next thing you’ll be trying to tell me is that they had a few haunted jars of Ragu…
The only saving grace of this pasta is the fact that the main character turned out to be dead, as well.
haha, creepy. i really liked this one because it was so realistic, told from the point of view of a horny 20-something year old man.
I just want to say that I adore this one.
WTF!!!! Now YOU know the secret for the best damn pasta souce….
PS IT NEEDS MOAR SOUCE!!!!!!
BUT WHO WAS SAUCE?
Haha I found this cute,in a weird way
Creepy, but I think it could have been better.
Can’t really say I enjoyed this one much, if at all. At least now I know never to follow anyone I haven’t seen for a long time into an abandoned warehouse for lunch.
Eh…not bad. Creepy pasta and an undead restaurant? Very creative.
Not very good pasta… The story I mean…
Not horrible but not good either.
Not bad, kind of amusing really, bugs for pasta and dead people XD
Well.
Hated the narrative. It drove me nuts.
And the zombies and bugs just seemed … silly.
Eh…not bad. Creepy pasta and an undead cafe? Very creative. Not scary but creative.
Fail. The streak of good stories has been destroyed by this monstrosity. It reminded me of Cather in the Rye in that the speaker just continually rambles on endlessly about shit that noone cares about. Also the twist was really REALLY weak. The The Village weak.
I don’t know about this. Was ok I guess. But not great.
Decent I suppose.
Didn’t make me want to STOP reading,
But I only started reading in the first place because the title was intriguing.
WHO WAS DEAD PASTA?
wtf …
Okay, wow. Euhh, where was the substance in this pasta?
I mean, it was a good idea, but like seriously, a horny 20 year old goes to meet some school friend, ends up in an abandoned building eating pasta infested with insects, and getting checked out by a room full of dead people, and he doesn’t flip shit? Realistic? I don’t think so.
You rushed it too much, it should have been like he couldn’t have left- but he wanted to. It’s just, I don’t even know.
I liked the whole sauce thing though, that pretty much saved it.
all the little asides threw me off. shave off a few of those and you got yourself some delicious pasta.
I always find casual humor to be funny in creepy pastas. ^^
I am amused and filled with giggly goodness.
gay…BRIGHT gay.
Other than wanting to bitchslap the narrator, I thought this was really interesting.
This wasn’t creepy, this was cutesy. I didn’t particularly like it, but at least it had some comic relief..? I’ve definitely read worse.
hmmmm….
i had something similar for dinner…
is it so wrong that whenever i hear ‘vaguely like chicken’ i think PEOPLE! : D ?
lol I’d have to agree there with katie. Though, I’d also have to say that…..Writing a creepypast about creepy pasta? Overdoing it a little.
hurray for mushroom sauce…or white sauce…or just plain cheese on top of the pasta. meh, w/e. eat ur carbs.
D:
not so good,…
could have been better
I lol’d
Mmm… It was ok.
Im a dumbass for asking this but
What was the sauce made of?
Somone is here nows last blog post..Creepy Pasta With A Side Of Sauce
Ugh just no.
If this is creepy pasta with sauce, the pasta is made out of rainbows and the sauce is made out of sunshine and giggles. This was hardly creepy, and was incredibly predictable.
I really didn’t enjoy this pasta. The “creepy pasta” gimmick got old fast, the story just rambled on and on in no real direction, and the ending twist was wayyyy too predictable.
Just crap. I’m disappointed. Not creepy. Not interesting. Just a waste of time. I was frightened more from the pasta about the heron making a mess of my kitchen.
Story played out like a corny “Tales From the Crypt” segment. Not a GOOD segment mind you, one of the goofy ones you have to sit through to get to the good one at the end.
eh, the last three put this to shame
hd this been posted earlieron before the streak it ould hae been viewed as almost godly in comparison,l bu now it just seems pretty shitty
Lacked in fear. But, it was entertaining.
Everybody in here sounds the same…
ugh, ppl, plz check ur name before posting a comment. it kinda annoying wen somebody accidentaly leaves in ur own. peace.
I’M IN UR COMMENTS
POSTING AS YOU
Predictable and all kinds of lame.
This was pretty awful… particularly considering its masterful predecessor.
THEN WHO WAS CREEPY PASTA?!
oh.
Wow This Was Just Bad:/
XD I think this is funny! Not at all creepy though. :/
Sounds like a small child had to write a story for english or something
This was horrible.
I’ve read creepier shel silverstein poems.
THEN WHO WAS JULIA?
Very gay actually super damn gay
Kinda creepy, but the whole time I was listening to “CHASING CARS” so I couldn’t really get the “creepy” factor…
To everyone who complains that it’s not creepy: I don’t think it was meant to be creepy in the first place. I mean, it’s not really a creepypasta since it’s making fun of creepypasta.
Delicious pasta. OMNOMNOM
I miss the old layout. =(
Anyways, this gave me the chills. But I’m scared of everything now that I’ve just finished reading every story and watching every video on saya in underworld.
Wow, this was different.
@MrSkary: lol
Nice pasta.
Lol.. okay.. whatever..
ewww….lol..but good job!!!
Gay. Predictable. ‘nough said.
I don’t get some of you guys… I’ve been reading this site all night and even I already figured out that WWP likes to stick comedy pastas in every so often, what’s with all the serious comments on this one and the Gai Ko one, for example? Are you all really that dense?
THEN WHO WAS GUY?!
That was just ….Bad.
Hm- well i’ll just come out and say it- Bloody damn bad.
Stupid.
Jesus that was terrible! It made no sense. The build up was a stupidly obvious, incoherent mess with no direction, and the climax wasn’t vaguely interesting or surprising at all. Read like 3rd grade storytelling.
This story lacks.
Why do we figure out that the narrator is a hobo only around the middle of the story?
Why does the hobo have a working phone and tape recorder?
Why doesn’t the hobo freak out at ALL when he sees the insects?
A restaurant that only serves pasta. “Gee, how weird.” It’s called Italian. And it’s less weird than the rest of the story.
Next time I’ll just get some creepyChinese.
pfft this pasta needs more RAWR
uhm i liked this one cause it had so many implications but, feaster of fear i do hav to agree with u
lol, Fried Green Tomatoes reference.
its all in the sauce… i figured that when he said ‘ be good for our needs…’
Alright, I did enjoy the ending, but I get a sense that he could he left if he wanted to, no sense that he was trapped there. Not-so creepy pasta.
Only problem is you can tell what is happening about halfway through the story. Other than that it’s pretty good.
Is it bad that I laughed when it said “guise” at the end
HAYYY U GUISE
“God that sounds cliched” Use the delete button and write something else then you fucking retard.
@katie
plz2b no stereotyping pl0x
hey i_r_scared.
he’s talking into a recorder, you “fucking retard”.
last i checked, you can’t delete speech.
this was hilarious XD
…is the main character beetlejuice?
because when i thought of this, i thought of beetlejuice.
Umm, Sorry to break it to you, But the 2 main characters, The guy and Julia, Aren’t dead, They are the only 2 living o.o
ok its a good plot but you droll on a little to much try to focus when typing. and yeah i get why you were typing like you were distracted but there is a limit to how long you can do that but overall a good pasta
Was this bad on purpose?
LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME
I like the idea. Would do well with some explaination in that sauce.
And then… THERE WERE MAGGOTS! AHHH! SCARY!
Heh. Saw it coming. First thing I thought when describing the meat as ‘Tender, tastes vaguely like chicken, also iron’ was ‘ELL OH ELL, PEOPLE’
Decent pasta was decent… needed more meat, and could have done with some more sauce.
Very well executed, but could be a bit less….
in the point of view of a horny guy?
Ghost recorder makes a ghost tape for the ghost interwebs? Who is he documenting this story for?
Five points for originality, two for creativity, 7/10 on my scale.
What it lacks in being creepy it makes up for in its creativity.
heh heh heh… it plays out like memoirs of a pervo zombie 20 somehting year old guy… heh heh heh
Oh, how that Pasta sounds great!
THIS pasta is just as great as I expect THAT pasta to be!
Of course I wouldn’t care to work there.
I prefer to be the consumer, not the provider…
This pasta is sorta irony, has a weird taste, like chicken, can’t really place it….is that…zombie? AND BUGS?! SPIDERS!?!? meh, taste alright, keep eating, applause, dead girlfriend, all is well in the land of THIS IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE! who would go through that, and then be liek “Whatevs, my life is boring so lets spice it up by DYING.”
Sounds like rambling to me.
BUT WHO WAS PASTA?
Eh. Not very creepy at all.
Wasn’t creepy… until I read something that made me freak… Hyde Park… It’s a neighborhood near mine… O_O …OMFG
i think it’s pretty good. the only part that bothered me was that it doesn’t explain what happened to him. are he and julia undead? what are they? i kind of feel like the first part is well developed but the second part is underdeveloped.
it’s give it 7/10.