A Camp Fire Story, Of Sorts
December 10th, 2003
My frozen hands tremble as I fumble to work my little butane lighter. The tips of my fingers are raw and bloodied already, and I wince in pain with every failed attempt to spark a flame. Finally, I achieve a jittery fire which impatiently dances atop the lighter. I carefully lower it to my pile of kindling, and the fire cautiously creeps out and spreads until it is a healthy size. I watch it for a while, tending to it until it’s strong. Now, there is enough light to see around me, and enough heat to survive the night.
Here, deep in the forest, with everything frozen and quiet, the only light and sound comes from my fire. It is the whole world to me right now. It dances and sings in a raspy, crackling voice to me and I am happy to enjoy its company. I can almost imagine that I can hear it whispering and babbling happily.
“It’s so cold.”
I must be tired. I’m hearing things. The popping and sizzling of the fire is really beginning to sound like words. Maybe I’m just lonely out here. Maybe I just really want someone to talk to, so I’m hearing coherence in the chaos of the fire. I could have sworn I heard it say -
“It’s so cold.”
There it was again, softer this time. I lean closer to the blaze and its warmth caresses my face, setting me at ease. I’m listening intently now, anxious for what I’ll hear next.
“If you let me die tonight, you‘ll die tonight.”
There was no mistaking it. It said it clearly, albeit in the raspy, singsong voice of a fire consuming wet branches. Yet even as the words become clearer, they become softer, drawing me in closer to make out the next statement. The warmth splashes over me as I inch my face closer, and the frost that had settled in my bones begins to thaw. The fire is speaking constantly now, chattering quietly to itself, and I can only pick out bits of words and portions of sentences.
“Get closer. Watch closely. If I die, you die. I’m the only thing keeping you alive. Pay attention!”
The fire ends its tirade with a loud snap of burning wood and then is quiet. I lean in even closer, eager to receive whatever secret is coming next. The heat is no longer pleasant. It sears me as the flames playfully lick at my face. The fire is being coy, teasing me with its silence to see how long I will wait on it. The smoke reaches into my nostrils and the embers float carelessly from the heart of the fire into my eyes, which are now welling with ash. I don’t care. I just want to hear what comes next.
“Get closer. Pay attention. Watch closely, now more than ever…”
…
December 17th, 2003
“In other news, the charred body of an unidentified man was found deep in the mountainous forests east of the city. Investigators have stated that the man appeared to have caught fire while sitting by his campfire and, inexplicably, did not appear to have made any effort to extinguish himself. His burned remains were found, frozen in position by the icy temperatures, leaning over the ashes of a long extinguished fire. In what is most perhaps the most bizarre detail of the grisly scene, the man is reported to have been found with an ‘expectant‘ smile still on his face.”
–
By David Feuling at www.ss-comic.com
meh
I’m not too impressed with this one. It didn’t have a real shocking ending, nor any real suspenseful aspect. Some crazy dude dies in the woods. Oh no!
Oh, and in before “Then Who was Fire?!”
I found it predictable, but I think it was a good, gruesome idea. To imagine allowing yourself to burn to death to escape the cold? Eesh. Personally, I think I’d much rather freeze.
i knew what was coming the whole time
What’s that fire? You’re searing my flesh? DO GO ON!
wtf
THEN WHO WAS FIRE?
what’s with all these coldness pastas lately?
How can you have an “expectant” smile?
And it’s like a negative To Build A Fire.
This was pretty creepy. But a little bit too short for me.
BUT WHO WAS “TALE OF THE FROZEN GHOST??”
big deal…
I t was okay, except for the “expectant smile” part. That was too cheesy. Should have been less detailed, like ” the corpse was still smiling” or something.
I liked a lot of the descriptive phrases and alliteration in this one. Nice.
Predictable.
This is what happens when you do acid on camping trips.
not really scary, but good nonetheless.
I knew it was coming, and although the story was too short I really liked the concept.
I saw it coming, but enjoyed it. Nice and short.
Predictable, but well written. A familiar pasta, but a tasty one nonetheless.
Saw it coming, but still delicious. Not every pasta needs to be ‘WHAT A TWEEST’
That was stupid, almost literally. I mean, it takes a pretty good moron to burn themselves to death listening for imaginary voices.
Dumb as hell/10
I found this pasta average. I liked the direction that it was going though dying by being pulled in by fire was unique. I thought that something like the Wendingo or whatever it’s called was gonna come out and eat him.
yeah, this one was really predictable.
it felt like there should have been more.
it was alright
It wasn’t one of those, “OMG I’m scared to turn off the light!” ones, but I liked it. Creepy in it’s own way. Well written in my view.
Who was smile?
If his face was in the fire, how could he possibly be identified as smiling?
Would much rather freeze to death.
THEN WHO WAS FIRE?!
Not the best I’ve read… Predictable and not all that creepy… Though, I gotta admit, the idea of allowing yourself to burn is somewhat disturbing if you put yourself in that situation… But still, 2/10.
really predictable, but pretty amusing. the whole last paragraph just killed it though…we kind of get the gist, right after “The heat is no longer present.”
MisterVercetti, how can something be literally stupid? Or figuratively stupid?
This was kind of average. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either.
I knew what would happen from the moment he started leaning in. The writing wasn’t bad, but the story predictable. And if the body was charred beyond identification, how was the smile still visible?
BUT WHO WAS NEWSPAPER?
You had potential dude. The last time a fire started talking to someone it created a series of religions that may yet destroy the word. Good premise but poor execution.
heh… it would be intresting if somthing of the sort actually came on the news but this was a bit to short and i agree that the last paragraph kinda killed it
in after “then who was fire?!”
I can picture the image of a charred face with an eerie smile. Very well done for that feat.
Simple, well written. I like it.
Eh good story line.. crap ending though.. But well written ;P
I expected it to be creepy, not a lame ass CSI story.
It kinda had potential, I suppose. But instead of doing something cool with a major loltwist ending, it went exactly where I expected it to. “It’s cold, the fire’s talking, I gotta get closer.” And even before you said that exact same line with different words 12 times, it was easy to predict that the dude was gonna just jump straight into the fire and get his freak on with the talking flames.
6/10. Right below average good but right above just boring old average.
would have been way better without the news bit at the end
BUT THEN WHO WAS RASPY SINGSONG VOICE
Saw the end coming about a quarter of the way through. It’s a little retarded the way the guy dies.
The fact that it doesn’t explain why he was stuck in the mountains and his motivation for being there/staying there/getting there, will I’m sure, no doubt impress some of the readers who comment in their “hurr durr I so deep” way. Don’t you hide now, anons.
pasta failed hard
“expectant smile?”
my ass his fucking face burned off.
Saw the ending coming, and the way that the whole piece was worded really diminished the eyrie factor. Otherwise plot wasn’t bad.
Who the fuck is retarded enough to listen to a fire, and then lean in so they can get burned? Shitty premise, shitty execution and shitty overall.
i thought something totally different.
Like if the fire went out he would freeze to death…
but this isnt very creepy..but interesting
It would have been better if the voice had done more to get the character’s attention. I know if I felt MY face burning, I’d sit the fuck back.
…I thought the fire was kinda sweet. And the guy was kinda stupid. I think I liked it, kinda.
What’s that fire? You’re searing my flesh? DO GO ON!
– Anonymous, That’s funny. >,<
..Can they tell it the guy was smiling when his body was charred?? Hmm.
what excactly does a raspy singsong voice sound like?
“what excactly does a raspy singsong voice sound like?”
like bill cosby
I think this would have been stronger if you cut out everything except the last paragraph. It is a singular image, vague, slightly unsettling and effective at making the world seem a slightly darker, weirder place. A little more Dylatov Pass, a little less obvious.
that was just really terrible.
I WAS FIRE
Pretty creepy, but I especially loved the way this pasta was writen.
im never putting my face in fire again
I’m never putting my face in fire again.
was there no happy medium between FREEZE TO DEATH and BURN ALIVE?
Meh….I liked the idea, but i’d think a guy would have to be pretty damned stupid, even in a situation like this, to lean that close into a fire. Like I said, the idea of homocidal fire is certainly interesting, and a bit creepy, but….Eh.
Woo! said exactly what I thought.
And the guy was stupid, he did the gene pool good dying.
ohhh it’s calcifers evil twin brother Reficlac!
yeah like every other commenter is saying i saw it coming. It wasn’t that good of a pasta but i guess it was OK.
how can you tell if a smile is expectant?
I can’t stop laughing at #4.
To Chinchillazilla-
Being Frozen Alive? Or Burned to Death?
o w8…
omg thats scary! did the fire want to kill him!… ya.. of course it did
Man, that campfire’s a dick
THEN WHO WAS BUTANE LIGHTER?
Omnomnom.
I loved this one.<33
It just seems kinda lame. I expected it to really go somewhere, but it was cloyingly predictable. Also, what kind of news reporter talks in detail about the facial expressions of a charred body?
“What’s that fire? You’re searing my flesh? DO GO ON!”
This made me lol irl.
That aside, was a good pasta. Short, quick, and clever. I do wonder what the fire said to make him have an expectant smile though.. Was it, “Hey, I’m burning you to death.” Oh fire, you cheeky bastard you! *wag finger*
so there is absolutely no chance of the guy being crazy and hearing voices in the fire. Homicidal fire? that’s a stretch. He put his face in the fire because he was FUCKING CRAZY from the extreme cold.
OLOLOLOL THE FIRE WAS THE ONLY THING KEEPING HIM ALIVE BUT IT KILLED HIM THAT IS HILARIOUS I AM ROFL IRL
go back to bed, christian
Not creepy, but good.
I expected the ending though.
Pfft, what a jerk fire. I mean, seriously, he basically ATE that dude.
Pretty interesting… sort of. Not the best, I mean, it was kinda translucent, but it was enjoyable. Last paragraph kinda butchered it. I mean, we know the fire went om nom on his face, stop telling us it did. Sooo… overall, 4/10.
Dude just got jacked up by a Will-o-Wisp.
Bad pasta is bad. Will not eat again.
2/10.