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Unholy Hour



Estimated reading time — 5 minutes

Perhaps you have heard the legend of the supposed “holy hour” that occurs on certain days of the year: Christmas, Easter, Good Friday, November 1, and the first of both February and August, each day between 7 and 8 am (not including Daylight Savings Time, mind you, because it is a human invention and supernatural entities do not observe it). When you were a kid, this was the hour in which you probably opened Christmas presents and started tearing apart your Easter basket after dragging your parents out of bed, and much to your parents’ chagrin refused to eat anything but leftover Halloween candy from the day before for breakfast; however, more than likely you had never gone into a darkened room in preparation for this ritual. However, perhaps you’ve heard others speak of it.

Go into a room with a mirror, preferably one without windows, between 7 and 8 am on any one of the dates listed above. You do not have to perform this ritual alone; if you have any friends, you may in fact want them to come in with you to help you perform specific tasks outlined that are difficult to do in the dark. (Important: The only light in this ritual must come from either a candle or a lighter – some tiny, flickering flame. Save for this light, you must be in total darkness – otherwise there is a strong possibility that you won’t see anything, hence the suggestion that you perform this in a room without windows. However, it all depends on your own sensitivity to the paranormal; when my friend performed this ritual last November 1, we had to shut all the doors in the hallway first because the light from the doorcrack kept distracting him.) Make sure that you perform this ritual in comfortable clothing – you want to avoid any unnecessary
discomfort.

Once inside this room, close the door and light your candles and/or your lighter. This/these flame(s) must remain lit until the end of the ritual, although I know of people who have chickened out and blown the flames out which instantly ends it and generally leaves them wallowing in their own cowardice for days on end afterwards. You may have your friend(s) hold or light the candles or lighter if desired, as long as the flame is reflected in the mirror. Now begin chanting some Christian prayer – any one will do, even the “Sinner’s Prayer” on the back of those Chick Tracts, as long as it mentions God, Jesus, or the Holy Ghost at least once – as you stare into the mirror. It must be the same prayer and, again, the number of times you need to chant this prayer varies depending on your own sensitivty to the paranormal, but generally twenty times is more than enough. (My friend chose Our Father, and he needed to chant it fifteen or sixteen times.)

When you have chanted for long enough, one of your flames will flare and then change color. (Ours turned red, but I’ve heard of flames turning blue, white, and even green and lavender before.) A few seconds later, an image will appear in the mirror of the archangel Michael – he looks a lot like the usual images of Christian angels, only he has this really nasty burn mark on the left side of his face. Also, he has really deep-set eyes.

Bow to Michael; again, it is important to make sure you don’t accidentally put out your flame(s) unless you wish to end the ritual. After you bow to him, Michael will ask you if you are entirely certain that you want to perform this ritual. I can’t really describe the voice, but it’s not the sort of voice you’d expect an archangel to have: it’s kind of scratchy and overall not very pleasant to listen to, and he has a faint accent of indeterminable origin.

After you answer yes, Michael will explain the conditions of the ritual: he will ask you seven questions, and if you answer at least four of them right, he will either allow or a conversation with a deceased loved one or give a living one immortality; however, if you answer three or fewer of them correctly, he will slit your throat and you will die right then and there. (I’ll admit that I actually do not remember any of the seven riddles from when my friend did this, but I do remember that they were rather arcane – i.e., not the type of riddles you would find in a riddle book – and he seemed to be fully aware of this. Also, if I remember correctly, each one consisted of seven words.) My friend never did well at riddles, so you can imagine that he didn’t get any right, which seemed to amuse the hell out of Michael, as by the end of the ritual he had this big, terrifying Joker-like smile on his face.

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After you are finished answering the riddles (you only get one try at each, but he lets you think), Michael gives you the score. Again, if you answer three or fewer right, he smites you. While he smites you, he says something in the angel language – Enochian, I believe it’s called – and you’re left writhing on the floor in agony. My friend was screaming his head off when the ritual was over, and he started speaking in tongues; it was horrible and I’m currently in therapy for this. Really fucking horrifying.

But I digress. Anyway, the candles all went out, and the lighter he had me hold died at the exact same time. I left the room feeling dizzy, and passed out on my bed in my own vomit. Strange thing is I woke up eight hours later and went into the bathroom I performed the ritual in, and found no trace of my dead friend in there. Strange, I live alone and all my doors and windows were locked, there was no sign of anyone having broken into my apartment, the landlady was on vacation, and no matter how hard I looked in the bathroom I could not find a single trace of my friend’s blood anywhere.

A few days later, I got a call from his roommate, asking about my friend. According to his roommate, my friend disappeared on Halloween night and hadn’t been seen at all since. He had called all around, asking my friend’s parents, siblings, aunt, uncle, people like the guy at the convenient store where my friend bought his cigarettes, and even his old teachers from grade school if they knew anything about his whereabouts, only to get a resounding “no.” He decided to call me because apparently I was the only person out of the people both he and my friend knew that he hadn’t called yet. So I told him exactly what happened, down to my friend’s body mysteriously disappearing. He didn’t believe me, and reported me to the police, but, when the police came to investigate, they did not find any trace of my friend either, not even his DNA. It’s almost like he never came over my house and instead chose to fall off the face of the earth and leave his friends
behind.

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On a side note, I’ve heard that someone in fact, by some miracle, did get all of the riddles right, and they wished for the immortality of whoever. However, the next day their loved one was not alive. They, much like my friend, were mysteriously spirited away, only this time on the wall of their room there was a message in some mysterious language, written in blood. Perhaps only God and the archangel Michael know what has become of the two of them.

//
Credited to M. Collins.

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106 thoughts on “Unholy Hour”

  1. Credited to M. Collins?! Misha did you write this. Mish, what the hell? Writing about Michael like this he will smite your celestial ass to oblivion, I’m telling you.

  2. Clearly the angels in this ritual are the jerkasses from Supernatural. No real angel would slit your throat for getting questions wrong. Maybe it would have been a better pasta if instead of killing you, the angel simply did nothing or it turned out to be a demon in disguise and dragged your soul to Hell for thinking you could possibly make a deal with an angel.

  3. Umm if the arch angel Michael wants to slit your throat and harm you then, he is not an angel god is loving and kind and undecieving and therofore the same thing applies on his angels thus making michael’s behavior out of the frame that angels are in…all in all it is too inaccurate however it is a good pasta ritual

  4. ☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢
    this strangly was a 50-50 to me
    on one hand you poorly wrote it out
    on the other it makes me want to try it out
    i say if you were less irrleterate it would be perfect

    5/10

    ☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢☢

  5. ♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉
    this strangly was a 50-50 to me
    on one hand you poorly wrote it out
    on the other it makes me want to try it out
    i say if you were less irrleterate it would be perfect

    5/10

    ♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉♉

  6. haha the hash slinging slasher cool name

    i would do this to talk to my dead brother but i know its fake and therefor i will not waste my time doing this but if it did happen i wouldnt wanna die

  7. it kinda bored me how you kept on beginning almost every sentence with “However” honestly it kinda bored me. Yet i must say that i did get chills when you said your friend had a “joker smile” on his face
    5/10

  8. As an anthropologist, the ‘holidays’ thing really made me giggle. Humans are so funny.

    The writing is okay, mechanically. Content-wise, it is super dry ritual pasta with inconsistencies (# of questions) and really unlikely tidbits (not remembering the questions, the offhand remark about being in therapy) that just totally kill it. I’m sorry, but this is 1/10.

  9. Yeah, WAY too calm. Also, he talks about everything like it\’s commonplace, I know all these people who have totally done this, and all these colors that the candle may turn, and people who have chickened out and stuff. It\’s like, everyone all these people have done it, although it also seems to be common knowledge that you die if you don\’t get them right and something indefinable but bad happens to you if you do.

    Also, was I the only one that thought it was really weird that the dead friend left no blood or DNA or anything, but the guy that disappeared left a huge bloody mess?

    1/10 for story, but I\’m going to give it 3/10 overall because passable spelling and grammar is so bloody rare these days.

  10. I think the \\"immortality\\" implied that he achieved was done so by going to heaven, much the same as his friend who died. In that case, it\\\’s a story that chooses to highlight the idea that immortality is really 2-faced. Then again, a white whale is just a white whale sometimes.

  11. Fish and chips guvnah

    This pasta is fucking awful. Seriously, the author should be strapped to a rocket, shot into space and raped by Azathoth for writing this garbage.

  12. @annoyed
    Angels kill people all the time. Trust me on this, I’m Jesus, I’m kinda an authority on the subject.

    Look up the angel of death before you make yourself look ignorant even for a theist.

  13. It’s “convenience store”, not “convenient store”. Learn how to spell if you want to write a good story, that usually helps. 3/10

  14. \"Go into a room with a mirror,\"
    MOTHERFUCKING GOD-DAMN MIRRORS NEED TO RETURN TO HELL FROM WHENCE THEY CAME

    …*is a Christian with the worst mouth you\’ve ever seen*

    This is highly insulting, and the fact that it\’s ritual pasta is even worse. Who would even do this? -.-

    0/10.

  15. Hmm, thank you Trucnheon and hm. I was not aware of Enochian\’s real origins and I\’m sorry for assuming it was coined by Kripke & Co.

  16. Ritual pastas are generally terrible, but this one was worse, which is saying something.

    Just really sloppy writing – starts off as a ritual, then starts talking about an event. Horrible writing. The writer seems bored as he’s describing the events of the ritual, so how it the reader supposed to get interested?

    I’m usually pretty forgiving, but this is 2/10 at best.

  17. I feel as if I’m listening to a 14 year old chubby goth girl tell me a story about what she did “a long time ago before i met her,” where she’s so caught up in her own ideas of how “scary” it is, she misses the part where I can’t believe she’s so stupid.

    All in all, I give this 8 Crap-Turds out of Ten. So, 8 turds on you, author.

  18. (sigh) I’ll try to be as polite as I can with this pasta

    Ritual pastas in and of themselves are not bad, just most of them are too dry, poorly written, or have no originality to speak of. This unhappy story has all three flaws.

    The writing was basically a large compilation of pointless advice, the immature language “really fucking horrifying” defeated the desired creepy/eldritch edge ritual pastas need.

    It was a waste of my time and I did not enjoy a single element of this story, the only points it gets is for allusions to ancient religious texts which is fair game for such stories.
    1/10

  19. Wow. Who has ever actually been creeped out by a ritual pasta? Seriously?

    Too long, too boring, too complicated. 2/10

  20. Sir Shoop Whoopington

    Want an anticlimax without all of that pesky buildup, this is the pasta for you!
    Seriosuly though, I am quite amazed at the fact that you were able to make an anticlimax without having any buildup, satisfying or otherwise. The only good thing about this pasta is how hard it sucks. I do NOT want seconds, but I would love to watch people eat it. 3/10

  21. Long, boring, and not creepy at all. It is more like a “Do it yourself” ritual guide than a scary pasta

  22. @ Supernaturalfan Anon

    No use being offended really. Enochian (a real language btw) has been associated with angels/divinities before supernatural, so I don’t see how this will diminish anyone’s view of the show. (although yeah that m. collins bit ticked me off too)

    Now, for the story itself:

    1. Holy fuck is this narrator ungracious with his emphasis on events. His friend died and he’s all “oh I couldn’t find mah dead friend”

    2. what the hell, ending? a random disappearing person again? I thought there would be some throat-slitting then it became “smiting”. wut.

  23. I’m sorry, but once you mentioned the burn mark on the eye, I just kept picturing Prince Zuko in the mirror.

  24. I was almost enjoying it, then I realized it was a ritual. :p
    Also, I could not find the “Archangel” creepy because after the “nasty burn on the left side of his face” I kept picturing Mello from Death Note. (Whose name is, incidentally, Mihael)

  25. This kept me in suspense. I like how you didn’t really..well, for lack of a better phrase, cockblock the scary at the end by not explaining anything at all. You explained just enough. I really disagree with a lot of these comments, I actually liked this story a lot. :)

  26. Hmm, guess I’m the only Supernatural fan here. While I do not like this writing, the creator is obviously a Supernatural fan given they used “Enochian” as the language of the angels (could be referenced from somewhere else but SPN is the only thing I can think of that uses the term) and the author is M. Collins. I love Misha Collins to death but I really think he could write a better, funnier ritual that would probably reward you with a few rocks and chocolate pasta.

    Ehh, 2/10. Fix your writing. You make us Supernatural fans look bad.

  27. “I’m currently in therapy for this. Really fucking horrifying. But I digress.”

    o_O

    This wasn’t great, the style was so laissez-faire it was impossible to be scared. Ok idea, poor execution.

  28. Holidays are a human invention, for one. Like Christmas- it’s more likely Jesus was born in the summertime, therefore the ‘holy day’ would be on Jesus’ actual date of birth and not Christmas (which early Christians celebrated during Winter Solstice so as to blend in with the pagan celebrations occuring for the solstice.) Time is also a human invention (as was somewhat mentioned, but quickly forgotten.) If you’re going to go with an archangel coming to earth it would most likely be Gabriel, and they’re ANGELS not DEMONS so they wouldn’t kill anyone, especially for getting a few retarded RIDDLES wrong. Angels are actually lower in status than humans, many people don’t know that. This story is more like a bad blow to Christianity- poorly executed, badly written, not entertaining. Go read some more Twilight.

  29. Poorly written and no originality. Lines such as “really fucking horrifying” kept me from taking any of it seriously.

  30. There are some decent ideas behind this but the execution is sloppy as fuck. The supernatural doesn’t pay attention to daylight savings because it’s a man-made idea, but it does pay attention to other man ideas like holidays and hours?

    Also, for someone in therapy the narrator seems quite happy to discuss his traumatic experience as if he were recounting a trip to Walmart.

  31. It’s not a suicide event — it’s established that you die if you fail, and if you succeed and grant a relative immortality, they disappear, but unless it happens if you request a conversation with a dead loved one — they didn’t cover that — you personally only die if you fail the riddle test.

    Doesn’t stop this particular creepypasta from being garbage, though. One thing I noticed is that it refers to someone “actually getting all 7 right” as if this were the only way to succeed… when it earlier established that you need only 4 out of 7. Beyond that, it’s boring, uninteresting, and yet again fails to be a ritual anyone would actually ever attempt, given its dire consequences and the revelation that you get screwed over somehow even if you succeed.

  32. So basically another pointless ritual. Either you get killed or someone you love gets killed. AWESOME. I mean I’m assuming if the one wish isn’t granted, the other isn’t either.

    Plus even if the wish were granted, it’s shitty to wish immortality on a loved one anyway. I’d be piiisssseedd!

  33. I liked it but I didn’t at the same time. It had a lot of plotholes as many other posters have stated and the ending left a lot to be desired. Like most stories on here they have potential but fall shore for me.

  34. Too many holes in the story, first of all, time itself is a concoction of mankind, as are the months, holidays, etc. I know many people who go into dark rooms during the holidays, so there is another hole. Why are all the dates of Christian (yet another human made belief) holidays? Aren’t Jewish, Muslim, Pagan, Buddhist, etc. holy within their own eyes?

    The term “however” was abused. However this, however that, however don’t you own a thesaurus? Most computers provide you with one if you right click or press control then click if you are on a Mac.

    It was tedious, and I really didn’t enjoy it at all. All in all, crappy pasta is crappy. Not only am I not eating this, I’m not even going to feed it to my dog.

  35. @BananaCorn maybe the spirit people have been coming out at a certain time forever and it just happens to fall between 7 & 8

    x-x-x

    anyway…

    wow man, that was terrible. no offense but that just sucked..

  36. Bahahaha, very amusing. Sure, get all the riddles right and you get “immortality” – just not the standard image of what “immortality” would be like (Here, they REALLY make sure you can’t die anymore).

    Also, loving the subtle hints it miiiiight not actually be “Michael the archangel”.

  37. W.T. Hitbob C.

    yeah, this was nothing but trash. no, waste. human waste. like, the compressed kind where they take everything from every toilet in the city, and compress it into dry blocks. thats what the plot setup of this story is built from. from that nasty crusty crap, piss, and toilet paper blocks.

  38. Uh, well. I kinda liked this. Except for the writing, it wasn’t all that great. Pretty much what everyone else pointed out.
    Maybe it’s because when I was a kid I was absolutely terrified of going into a dark bathroom.

  39. Time itself is a human invention, so why do the supernatural only come on certain days (Time) between two hours (Time)?

    I’m not going to be a hypocrite and talk about plotholes, but I think the point stands.

  40. What the hell is wrong with some of you? The writing in this pasta was horrible and the premise wasn’t interesting either.

  41. I almost stopped reading when I saw it was the millionth ritual pasta on this site, but forced myself to keep going. Then I wished I hadn’t.

    This is a fucking cookie-cutter ritual pasta. I hope you all join me in wishing the semi-retarded cunt-licking author a swift death.

  42. This story is pretty bad. There are two conflicting ends to the “answer three or less questions” punishment: a slit throat or what amounts to the Cruciatus curse.

    There were also elements that took me completely out of the story, such as, “Make sure that you perform this ritual in comfortable clothing – you want to avoid any unnecessary discomfort”, or “it was horrible and I’m currently in therapy for this”.

    Why is the narrator so calm? I understand calm with an undertone of crazy, but this guy sounds bored. If he’s bored, how can readers possibly be entertained?

    1/10

  43. SuperDannyGlover

    Good writing, terrible story.

    (not including Daylight Savings Time, mind you, because it is a human invention and supernatural entities do not observe it)

    Implying that the calendar, and even time itself isn’t of human invention.

  44. “Christmas, Easter, Good Friday, November 1, and the first of both February and August, each day between 7 and 8 am (not including Daylight Savings Time, mind you, because it is a human invention and supernatural entities do not observe it).”

    because holidays aren’t a human invention? bad pasta is bad.

  45. It’s not bad but it’s just your same old ritual pasta. Yeah, the whole Christianity slant was nice but in the end it was the same as the other ritual pastas. The first part in dark room reminded me too much like the Bloody Mary type rituals. The second part with the riddles reminded me of the Holders series. And the last part was pretty much the same as most ritual pastas. Not a bad effort, it just didn’t feel that original.

  46. I like how he writes extremely calmly, despite even mentioning himself he’s in therapy.

    In consecutive therapy sessions for the event, yet can talk about it like a fond memory?

  47. Ectoplasmic Worms

    This story rambles so much that I had trouble keeping up with what was going on. Also it’s a pretty generic story. It’s nothing that most readers here haven’t heard before.
    Didn’t keep me guessing, didn’t have me on the edge of my seat, no wow factor.

    4/10

  48. Not interesting… Style of writing wasn’t necessarily bad, but a lot of things annoyed me. “however, more than likely you had never gone into a darkened room in preparation for this ritual. However, perhaps you’ve heard others speak of it.” Anytime you begin two consecutive sentences with “however”, it’s annoying.

    As for the story, eh.You die regardless, so basically it’s a suicide phenomenon. Lacks anything really creepy and key components of a good story. 5/10

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