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The Street Lamp



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

“You should go close your windows. It’s going to rain tomorrow.” said your Dad. You sighed and looked at the clock: 11:20. “Okay” you said, as you felt a tiny twinge of fear spark in your brain. It was an old fear, your fear of the dark. You’ve had it since you were a child. It was silly, but a natural human fear. You grabbed your keys and whistled for the dog, who was always happy to go outside even in the dark. As he stood there on the front porch in the dim light wagging his tail, you began to make your way toward your car.

As you walk across the yard toward your car, what started as the dull fear of the dark that you’ve always had began to creep into panic, until it suddenly overtook you, pouncing onto you with incredible surprise and ferocity into full blown panic. As your heart begins pounding you fight with your whole being to focus on your car, and not look off into the abyss that exists just past the weak circle of light from the street lamp. As you get into your car and shut the windows, your will finally fails and you stare out into the dark.What you see, or better lack of sight thereof, unnerves you. You see nothing. Not a blank, boring nothing. A nothingness, a black so complete and overwhelmeing that you feel it staring back into you, right in the eyes somehow. Suddenly the panic overtakes you. You slam the door shut and rush back across the lawn, out of the weak street light and into the equally weak porch light punctured by the silhouette of your unaware dog. You get inside along with the dog, turn and stare uneasily into the black silky summer night one more time, and finally sigh in relief and shut the door, clicking the deadbolt.

I know. I was there, as I always have been. Just beyond the feeble street light, at the edge of the vast rolling mouth of black that swallows the earth every night. Staring. Watching. Waiting…

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Credit To: Zach

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20 thoughts on “The Street Lamp”

  1. It was okay, but like everyone else is saying it was a very predictable ending.. hahaha “the hash slinging slasher” nice name

  2. the hash slinging slasher

    i agree with amaiacookie, it really had feeling to it. the end was kinda cliche, but it gave it sort of a campfire story feel.

  3. I don’t know why this is rated so low. I can see that he/she had a sense behind the story line…It was short but somehow meaningful.

  4. I personally liked it a lot, it pretty much described accurately everything I feel when I’m in the dark alone. Predictable ending, but still is gonna make me a tiny more paranoid tonight.

  5. Well, I commend you on writing it in 2nd Person, well kinda… It would’ve been 2nd person until the end. You write well enough, though it lacked a certain touch to make it unique. It follows the cliche of “The Mysterious Watchers In The Dark”, which isn’t bad. Everything is cliche, you just need to make it your own. Sadly this one doesn’t do much to branch out and make the story your own. It’s just generic, which is why it’s not great. Not bad, but not great.

    You had a good concept, and a nice end game, but your execution needs work. What this Pasta relied on was relating to the reader. Grabbing them and driving this sensation into them. That’s what great 2nd person pieces do. This doesn’t express those feelings of anxiety and fear well. You should avoid using tired phrases like “Suddenly the panic overtakes you.” Those sentences kill the tension rather than build it. You need to show that sudden shift, not say it.

    Express the panic. Instill it. Make the readers feel it with your words. Don’t just throw it at them and expect them to feel that thrill.

  6. I wasn’t /crazy/ about it to begin with, despite writing it in first person and not having any interesting outcome. But you ruined it with the cliché “I was there” ending.

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