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The Creep



Estimated reading time — 3 minutes

“Do you hear it? The Creep upon my cellar stairs? I lie awake tonight with fright in my heart and a creep upon my cellar stairs,” the young girl muttered into the belly of her teddy bear.
A fearful groan erupted as she heard it once again, “Do you hear it? The creep is upon my kitchen floor!” Woe was her to have this fear, to hear the creep beyond her door. Juliette was twelve, modest and kind, however cowardly as a mouse, and not inclined, to investigate bumps in the deep, dark night.
No daddy to call on, a mother that worked, Juliette sat listening for that which lurked. Only for a moment, as the silence fell again, she heard the creeeeeeeeeeak, an obvious strain .”Do you hear it?!” She roared. “The creep is upon my living room floor!”
Slipping from the safety of the warm, snug bed, she crept ever so slowly, but felt only dread. As beyond the door, and down the hall, she knew what awaited and up it would crawl through the deep, dark night.

Minutes passed without a breath, until the girl fell to her knees and whimpered, for she feared her death as from her place upon the floor she heard the creak as before. “Do you hear it? The creep is upon my very hall, no doubt to pounce upon us all!” The girl did cry, fear rising within. She clutched her bear and listened for the thing . Silence.
The trembling figure sat upon her floor, unable to move, to think, to breathe. Until at last she shook her head, “I cannot hear it. The creep upon my cellar stairs must have been but the wind, the living room a playful mouse and in my hall a house did creak, but no bear, not the Creep.”
Standing without fear she strode up to her bedroom door, placed her hand upon the knob and began to turn, she knew the score. Creeeeeeeeeeak. Leaping back she knew without a doubt, something was without. Not wind, nor mouse and not a creak. It was a creep beyond the door, she knew this now, like before.

She fell unto her bedroom floor so scared that her tears did pour in the deep, dark night. She stared at her bedroom door, she thought of all the heartless gore to be visited upon her when she opened that door. Silence.
Without another thought she rose, strode to the door, pulled it and froze. Expecting the worst, she saw only her bedroom light, casting two shadows in the deep, dark night. With a deep sigh she closed the door and turned back, to her bed, seeing one shadow and hearing not creak, croak or crack.

“Do you hear it? The creep was all in my head, I woke from my bed and feared what’s not there. Am I not the silliest girl ever bear?” Teddy the Bear watched the world with unseeing eyes that reflected the room and could not disguise. As within them Juliette saw the most horrifying sight, and suddenly the creaking was heard in the night.
“Oh Teddy, why could you not say? How foolish I have been this day. The Creep is real, and here right now. I see it there below your brow. What I thought to be upon my floor was by my side, and watched as I cried. The light in the hall should have been my warning, I shant live to see the morning.”

The Creep was real, that is for sure. The creaking and cracking was simply a lure. For reflected in the little bear’s eyes, nothing was seen but the evil Creep’s lies. For the Creep was not upon her floor, at her door nor in her drawer. The Creep was here, in her hands, to strike at her, to fulfill its plan. Teddy the Bear such an innocent sight, took Juliette in the deep, dark night, for no matter how much she dared to fight, the Creep had gotten her, his grasp too tight.

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A tale of caution and of fright, but do you think of what bumps in the night? Juliette did, and behold and see, what doom awaited her that eve. But can she be blamed for what did occur? It all did happen in such a blur. Evil comes in all different sizes, big and small it takes on all guises.

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So sleep well and God bless for surely you know, if the Creep comes for you, your death will be slow.

Credit To – AjCassells

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Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.

23 thoughts on “The Creep”

  1. I really loved the rhyme scheme and is the best “first pasta” I have ever seen by someone. It’s not too creepy and didn’t scare me as much as it would’ve if it weren’t poem-like, but all the same it was very good. 8/10

  2. I really liked this. The idea of the Creep was very good and the rhyming worked extremely well. I really enjoyed this.
    Very good job.

  3. Thank you so much for the feedback everyone, this was my first ever attempt at a Creepypasta and i’m happy with the result. I took everything you said, and the next time round I will definitely do a lot better! Although I will point out, it was not meant to be a poem, although I see what people meant by breaking the meter. Apologies for that! Thank you for reading none the less!

  4. Oh how I wish you had continued with the meter!

    I absolutely love the storyline. The idea of a story with rhyme and meter is fantastic, but why didn’t you keep it?

    So close. >.<

  5. Wow I really liked that. First story since psychosis I rated a 10. It actually creeped me out! I think the rhyming kept my mind away from where the story was going. Good job. Really!

  6. I quite enjoyed this. Props for taking on the poem structure. There were a few sections where it didn’t quite work but overall, I thought the rhythm really contributed to the creepy vibe. Great opening sentence and great build-up of tension as The Creep got closer and closer. I’m not sure the twist of The Creep being the teddy bear was the best choice. I feel it would have been more chilling if the girl was ‘taken’ by The Creep as she cried out to her teddy and it just sat there watching her. But that’s just my opinion. This was a great fresh contribution amongst what I feel have been some lackluster pastas. It deserves a higher rating!

  7. Wow. Your meter was off, the rhymes felt forced, and your ending was so confusing that it lost any possible sting.

  8. That was AWESOME!!! This is a truly brilliant pasta!! Dying for more! Beautifully written and a great story! Loved he ryming too. It gave that special touch!

    Oh and YES! I finally got a first comment:D

  9. I like the rhythm of the story, how it flowed like a poem but wasn’t. I’m a bit confused as to what The Creep was, why it was there in the girls house, but I guess that adds to the creepiness of the story.

  10. I’m not sure how to feel about reading Edgar Allan Poe’s style as a CreepyPasta. Nice idea though, but not too creepy. The rhyming took away from the scare factor I think.

  11. I’m not usually a fan of poempastas but this was wonderfully written I don’t know why it got the rating it did at the moment but well done!

  12. While the rhyming scheme is kind of neat, I feel you did not pull of this feat. The story above has a solid core, but there is one point about which I am sore. You have made the story fit the rhyme, so the words feel odd and stilted like… limes.

    For real, neat idea, but I do feel you squeezed your story into the rhyme scheme, which kind of hurt it. It made for odd and stilted word choices that dragged me straight out of the story and made me intensely aware they were chosen so they would rhyme and not necessarily because they were the best choice. Things like “Woe was her to have this fear” are very hard to take seriously.

    If you like writing this type of prose/poetry I would suggest reading (if you have not already) some Robert Browning (example here: http://www.victorianweb.org/authors/rb/duchess/duchess.html ). He was excellent at writing rhymed poetry that was almost more story than poem, like this piece, but that flowed wonderfully. Either way, keep writing!

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