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Your Life Is A Movie

There’s a movie theater in downtown Phoenix, Arizona that only plays movies from 1987. If you pay for 3 tickets and buy a large popcorn, they will play a film that shows you your future. If you watch the entire film completely, you will have sleeping problems for the rest of your life.

Posted in Locations & Sites 3 years, 4 months ago at 8:16 pm.

81 comments

81 Replies

  1. The Person Formerly known as 'Noneya' Oct 3rd 2008

    I lol’d.

  2. But my life isn’t a movie. It’s clearly a Neil Gaiman novel. :p

  3. Ma Cherie Oct 3rd 2008

    But…I already have sleeping problems D:

  4. DoodleBunny Oct 3rd 2008

    Too vague to really be unsettling.

  5. Not as Anonymous as Anonymous Oct 3rd 2008

    …this is just a little pathetic :|

  6. Xantherian Oct 3rd 2008

    Took me a second to get that last sentence.
    Very clever. xD

  7. Keisyl Oct 3rd 2008

    I think this pasta would be better if it were something like this:

    There’s a movie theater in downtown Phoenix, Arizona that only plays movies from 1987. If you pay for 3 tickets and buy a large popcorn, they will play a film that shows you your future, starting from when you sit down. You will see your life getting worse and worse, all because of one tiny, small decision you made, totally unaware that it would affect you like that, that things could get that bad from a single choice.

    In the last scene you see yourself, grinning with a bleeding mouth, your descent into insanity obvious. You croak out five words before shooting yourself, blood and gore splattering the screen.

    “That film started it all…”

    That’s just my thoughts, though. :P

  8. This pasta wasn’t that creepy.

  9. Keisyl Oct 3rd 2008

    Dunno if my last post showed, so if I double, I’m sorry =\

    I think this pasta would be better if it were something like this:

    There’s a movie theater in downtown Phoenix, Arizona that only plays movies from 1987. If you pay for 3 tickets and buy a large popcorn, they will play a film that shows you your future, starting from when you sit down. You will see your life getting worse and worse, all because of one tiny, small decision you made, totally unaware that it would affect you like that, that things could get that bad from a single choice.

    In the last scene you see yourself, grinning with a bleeding mouth, your descent into insanity obvious. You croak out five words before shooting yourself, blood and gore splattering the screen.

    “That film started it all…”

    That’s just my thoughts, though. :P

  10. SexualBubblegum Oct 3rd 2008

    It would totally be better that way.

  11. Mr.Smokey Man Oct 3rd 2008

    I can already see my future.Cancer at 30.That large popcorns not going to help.lol

  12. Anonymous Oct 3rd 2008

    Sleeping problems? That’s it?

    Needs a rewrite.

  13. Hello.

    This is clever in ways many are not giving enough credit for.

    Still, the imagination is not effectively stimulated to create the deeper levels of fear.

    Regardless, such a theatre does indeed exist.

  14. FAKEtofu Oct 3rd 2008

    That’ll be one shortass movie because I plan to die when I turn 25… after a tragic car accident.

  15. DJLoONa Oct 3rd 2008

    if i watch the ENTIRE film COMPLETELY…
    mmmm, interesting…not really =\

  16. lolol Oct 4th 2008

    I did this. Only instead of me, it was Nicholous Cage. And it wasn’t my future, it was Nick using his psychic powers to save San Fransisco from a Nuclear device. Good movie though.

  17. ITHIDET Oct 4th 2008

    I shat myself!

  18. The Person Formerly Known as 'Noneya' Oct 4th 2008

    I like Keisyl’s version better.

  19. Anonymous Oct 4th 2008

    Well, of COURSE you’d have sleeping problems. You just sat through a film a few decades in length. That has got to be a SERIOUS case of sleep deprivation.

    Unless it’s only a highlight reel.

    In which case, it’s more of a teaser of your life than a movie per-se, innit?

    Wonder what the trailer looks like.

    A laundromat, focused on a spinning clothesdryer…

    Then, cut to title:

    “Your Life”

    Fade out, then fade in to:

    “Get one soon”

  20. Dr.Creepy Oct 4th 2008

    This pasta was sucky

  21. Report from a viewer Oct 4th 2008

    Wait…I wasn’t alive in 1987…

    OH SHI-

    I just blew my hard-earned cash on 3 tickets and a bucket of stale popcorn.

    To watch a blank screen.

    Two. Thumbs. Down.

  22. Commenter Oct 4th 2008

    I think I’d have a little bit more to worry about than sleeping problems if my future could be fit into the time it takes to show a movie.

  23. No, the twist is that the movie only shows what’s happening 3 seconds in the theatre in real time. Like your movie self takes a swig of soda 3 seconds before you do. Then that raises another question: If your movie self gets up to leave, and yet you don’t, what would happen? Would the screen go black and say “Go away a-hole”?

  24. Due to the contradictions and other issues a lot of comments have noted, I almost want to say the author intended for this to be a joke.

  25. The point is if you watch the whole film, you’ll spend the rest of your life doing so. The movie is your lifetime long. You won’t sleep BECAUSE you’re watching it.

  26. Hendetta Oct 4th 2008

    Not bad, but pretty vague and very very short. Had a lot of potential.

  27. shortys roc my sox Oct 4th 2008

    i think it could of been scarier

  28. MooMoon Oct 4th 2008

    watching the film would take a life time so you would die in the seat =_=

  29. eeeh. could have been better.. although it’s still kinda interesting.

  30. shortys roc my sox Oct 4th 2008

    @ moomoon

    wow i never thought of that, that is very true

  31. …But if you’re watching the movie and it takes an entire lifetime to watch, then wouldn’t the movie be nothing but you sitting in a movie theatre? That sounds like it’d put anyone to sleep.

  32. @ Keisyl: thanks for the pasta. that one was really good :)

    at first i thought that the fact that only 1987 movies are shown had smth to do with the whole future thing, but i cant make sense out of it. if its just part of the description of the place, it shouldnt be there cuz its really confusing><. aaaand sleeping problems cuz u saw ur future? bleh.

  33. Keisyl Oct 4th 2008

    @ FCF: Ha, no problem, I like writing pastas. Maybe one day I’ll get one on here :D

    And now I understand the original point of this pasta thanks to Sara. This one was vague, but after consideration not too bad.

  34. whocares Oct 5th 2008

    Dea I was thinking the same thing. All you’ll be watching is yourself in a movie theater watching yourself in a movie theater watching your self in a movie theater and so on,it’ll go on and on till you die

  35. Pew Pew Laser Gun Oct 5th 2008

    I already have sleeping problems so SUCK ON THAT!!

  36. Hmm, you think they have a DVD version of my life?

  37. Suffra Oct 5th 2008

    Comments made my day. I ended up laughin my head off reading the comments. Thanks, guys xD

  38. AUTOMATICALLY SET NAME Oct 5th 2008

    Makes me think- why would I want to do that?

  39. JB_Finesse Oct 6th 2008

    I went, but my childhood was so damn boring that I sneaked out and saw the double feature of Robocop and Evil Dead II instead. The only sleeping problems I have are from regret that I didn’t see Ernest Goes to Camp on the big screen.

  40. Yeah right, you just want my money >.>

  41. MooMoon Oct 7th 2008

    and you would also be watching yourself sitting in the seat >_>;

  42. Devon Oct 7th 2008

    The sleeping problems thing isn’t necessarily true. Since it shows every second of your life, then you could sleep when your past-self slept.

    I have a better question though… Who filmed the entire thing?

  43. Ironbuddah Oct 8th 2008

    Finally got it, but it tries too hard I feel. So it is a meh pasta.

  44. Anon. E. Mouse Oct 9th 2008

    Sleeping problems!
    OH NOES!!

    LOL.
    I think this one’s just silly.

  45. Two-Bit Oct 11th 2008

    I just got it!
    “You will have sleeping problems the rest of your life!”
    Because you won’t sleep… Because you’re watching your life. I’m tripping myself out.

  46. Two-Bit Oct 11th 2008

    And to number 42.
    I did! I’m a creepy stalker. >:)

  47. $30 for tickets and another $30 for popcorn just to watch a boring movie about nothing?

  48. pastamuncher Oct 17th 2008

    the reason youll have sleeping problems if you watc hthe whole thing is becuase if your old it will take a long time to watch you whole life and you wont be sleeping if your watching your whole life…..duhhhhh

  49. FoReVeR.N.nEvEr Oct 29th 2008

    Haha, at first, I thought that when it said it’ll show your future, I thought that I would be watching myself making children with someone, then I thought i’d be watching porn XDD
    Buuut, im slow and i just got the real meaing of the story.

  50. Night Light Oct 30th 2008

    The last line sounds like a fortune cookie

  51. Night Light Oct 30th 2008

    And saying ‘Entire film completely’ is redundant

  52. Joe Shmoe Dec 17th 2008

    So I’m paying $40 to watch myself sit in a movie theater for the rest of my life?

    I can’t get the part about speel problems, though. I certainly think that would put anyone to sleep.

  53. justthesweetweather Dec 21st 2008

    Just live your life kids, just live your life.

  54. Don’t worry about me watching the whole thing and then getting “sleeping problems.”

    My life is so boring I would leave in five minutes.

  55. I didn’t understand the point of the story until I was halfway through reading the comments. >_>

    I’m neutral on good/bad. Its just…meh.

  56. Nickosaur! Dec 31st 2008

    I’d bring two friends with me. There’s no way in hell I’m buying 3 tickets and not using 2.

    I can take naps, and they can tell me what I miss.

  57. Midnightgirl Jan 23rd 2009

    I’ll stick to tarot cards thanks, but nice pasta.

  58. I was born in 1987!

    (Also, if I watch a movie that shows my remaining life in its entirety, then I will be dead by the time I finish watching. Unless they cut the boring bits.)

  59. xxxxcsdf Mar 18th 2009

    LMAO

  60. Dead Rain Mar 25th 2009

    Welldone, location, NOW. Give it to us! I have an aunt in Phoenix that I want to get revenge on for kicking me out of the house at my OWN party a few years back. This seems like the perfect way.

    *evil laugh*

  61. Mr.Pornguy Apr 11th 2009

    My life would be one giant porno.

  62. THEN WHO WAS MOVIE?

    Oh, wait… I guess I was movie… carry on then

  63. Vanilla villan Jul 16th 2009

    BUT WHO WAS POPCORN?!?!?!?! also I live in phoenix and all the theaters ar like that…..:P

  64. Vanilla Ectasy Aug 3rd 2009

    THEN WHO WAS POPCORN?!

  65. I thought it was great, “Alright” if you will.

  66. Bertz Sep 7th 2009

    seemed more like a joke pasta

  67. So it only plays films from 1987.

    I was born in 1989.

    So a film of my future was made 2 years before I was born.

    There’s only one explanation.

    I am a time lord.

    WITH HASTE, ROSE.

  68. Yeah, alright.
    So if you’re watching a movie that’s supposedly going to show your entire life, won’t you just be spending your entire life watching a movie of you watching a movie?
    Unless you were stuck in some time loop thing.
    And the worst thing that’ll happen is “you will have sleeping problems for the rest of your life”?
    How ’bout “you will have wasted your life watching what you could have lived”?
    Or “you will be unable to change your fate or the fate of your loved ones”?
    Okay pasta is okay, I guess.

  69. hi, dont turn around Jun 2nd 2010

    @ night light: ENTIRE filk COMPLETLE
    if you look away once then you wont have sleeping problems cause you didnt see a certain scene
    @Mr.Welldone:
    Dont give away our location, I dont want a bussiness rush just after the holidays
    @people saying it will see you sitting: ITS THE FUTER
    @the sleeping problems:
    I dont sleep anyway

    all in all this story was too short, also it seems more like a ritual, “buy 3 tickets and a large popcorn” also
    if i bring two friends wont it be a movie about all the times we are together?

  70. Truncheon Jun 18th 2010

    I’ll bet this film already has a porn version.

  71. Flash37 Jun 25th 2010

    So, wait a minute…

    It’s my opinion that the movie would be slightly speeded up, with captions or something so that you won’t completely die. Then, in the movie, you go to a theater. You sit down. The movie starts again on the screen inside the movie. The same thing happens. Over and over and over.

    LOL WTF

    10/10

  72. Some one Aug 4th 2010

    How dumb
    i could right better than tan that LOL HAHA

  73. Truncheon Aug 7th 2010

    Eh. I’ll just wait for the blu-ray to come out.

  74. eman777 Sep 15th 2010

    oh i get when he says youll have sleeping problems is because you will watch it for the rest of ur life

    but i still sucks

  75. eman777 Sep 15th 2010

    it….

  76. DEAD BORT Oct 26th 2010

    BUT WHO WAS DIRECTOR?

    Michael Bay I hope

  77. fail reader is fail. Nov 27th 2010

    lol at losers who dont understand this.

  78. LadyLillith Dec 12th 2010

    Do we have to sit through through credits?

  79. Shub Niggurath May 4th 2011

    OMFG!!! I WAS BORN IN 1987 AND I LIVE IN PHOENIX!!! AAAAAHHHHHH! lmao

  80. Shub Niggurath May 4th 2011

    OMFG!!! I WAS BORN IN 1987 AND I LIVE IN PHOENIX!!! AAAAAHHHHHH! lmao!

  81. I ROFL’d.
    Who would pay for 3 tickets and a large popcorn only to have sleeping problems in the future?


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