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Yeah, So Quit Asking



Estimated reading time — < 1 minute

A homeless man is sitting on a park bench. You are jogging.
As you jog up to him, he holds his hand out and asks for change, you jog on past, pretending that you can’t hear him over your iPod.

Feeling guilty, you stop. You reach into the pocket of your running shorts for a couple of bucks you were saving for a bottle of water. You turn around to jog back to the homeless man.

He is already standing right behind you. The park is suddenly abandoned. His eyes are wriggling masses of wasp larvae, he outstretches his arms, each which are 5 feet in length. His mouth opens inexplicably wide, his lower jaw touching his sternum. The only sound he emits from his gaping mouth is a dial tone.

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Before he pulls you into the black cavernous throat of his, you have time to scream,

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“Oh god. You were phone!??”

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312 thoughts on “Yeah, So Quit Asking”

      1. We still know nothing about him, other than he was phone and that he is homeless.
        So who is homeless man? :3

  1. campcreepypasta

    I like that he asked for change and not paper money
    “Please deposit 25 cents”
    The pasta was creepy. Creepypasta.

  2. LIES the gypsy chihuahua from courage the cowardly dog is phone!! Remember she used to call the dead once she opened her mouth

  3. finally yomg kerbricks were shat thanks for ending that stupid meme and for all the people still doing it you will now be destroyed in a fiery…. ill let you find out for yourself

  4. AHAHAHAHahahahahahahaha ohhhhh, man. I thought the twist was stupid, but it was PRECISELY exaggeratedly stupid enough to totally throw me off and distract me before the ending, which is crucial for that kind of ending. Lol’d hard. 10/10

  5. Ok so that was phone

    but wait …
    WHO WAS IPODE

    BUT WAIT…
    WHO WAS HOBO

    BUT WAIT…
    WHO WAD BOTTLED WATER!!!

    AlwAys wanted to do that!

  6. Soooo….. The one ringing on the phone was a creepy homeless man who saw them making out and somehow got their number? Makes sense? Or am I just stupid.

  7. I quite enjoyed this. Better ending than many stories, actually.

    I told you I was phone, but you didn’t believe me. So I was hobo eat you.

  8. Ahahahahaha, someone give this guy a cookie. My post’s a year late, but I’m glad to be part of this legacy. I leave you with these parting words:

    lololololololololol

  9. I can imagine this being the form of some kind of eldritch horror that calls itself phone, and catches it’s victims like this, trapping them in the phone lines for eternity and feeding of the potential energy of all the victims days that they will never have.

    Am I thinking about this too much? Hm…..perhaps.

  10. @Emox4:

    There’s a meme that invariably pops up in responses to creepypasta. Usually it’s some variant of “WHO WAS X” where “X” was someone/something in the story (usually the ghost, ghoul, monster, ax-crazy japanese woman-spirit, etc.) This popped up from a really crappy old creepypasta which ended with “BUT WHO WAS PHONE”.

    This pasta that you read answers the age-old question of “Who was Phone”. It’s sort of a joke that you only get when you’re on /x/ for a while.

    signed,

    Lonelyanon15

  11. You know… I think this pasta actually kinda sucks. Never mind it’s awful… I don’t see why everyone else liked it so much. Or were they being sarcastic?

  12. Thank god. I am getting really sick of people running that old joke into the ground in the comment forum.

    Just because it was funny once doesn’t mean it will be funny the next eight thousand times!

  13. shortys roc my sox

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    now y’all annoyings will stop cause y’alls question is answered right? lol this one rocked
    i thought it was gonna be corny
    but i was soooooo wrong

  14. Ok i havent been on here in a while but I’m so freaking confused. I don’t get it at all could someone please explain?

  15. It is a pity, that now I can not express – it is very occupied. But I will be released – I will necessarily write that I think on this question.

  16. This is gonna become the stuff of legend.

    I feel sorry for all the people who took this seriously and cannot see what it is parodying.

    HOBO WAS PHONE!!! NOW STOP RINGING ME WHEN I’M TRYING TO PORK YOUR DAUGHTER!!

  17. And now, we can always direct WHO WAS X comments here. It was funny the first 4,039,203 times, but after that, it just got old. Especially when it was commented on things that have no vagueness whatsoever. (“BUT WHO WAS LADDER?!” Seriously?).

    This is the hardest, most epic win to have evar existed in the history of teh internets

    You, my good sir/madam, have just won yourself an amazing 9,001 internets.

  18. THEN WHO WAS-

    Oh wait….

    So he was the one who called you, asking what you were doing with his daughter? The mystery solved at last.

  19. yeah its me ok. it required makeup and a change of clothes but i at least got a free meal out–….change?

    CHANGE?!! YOU GOT CHANGE?!! COME ON HELP A GUY OUT!!

  20. Rape My Shitter

    @Greycool & @that fucking cat & @Confused & @strat & @anoooooooooony & @Hahaha

    Either obvious troll, lurk the fuck moar, gb2/gaia, or all of the above.

  21. @anooooooooony and Hahaha, if it doesn’t make sense, go to the creepypasta archives and look through the comments. Then come back when you’re a little more intelligent and try again. It’s like the “Heron” one posted on Halloween. :o Bet that’s a new concept, huh?

    As for the pasta? It was epic. ;)

  22. Feaster of Fear

    kind of reminds me of the time I failed to fight a hobo……he pissed on me after…ew….memories….ew…

  23. It’s ironic that this probably revived the meme, judging by the responses. They’ll probably replace phone with some other stupid object, like a kettle or brick.

  24. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU RUINED THE MYSTERY! T_T how could you…
    oh well it has a good meaning..give money to the homless >:( or else!

  25. I don’t get it, what was the point of the story and why are all these people saying who was bottle this and hobo that?

  26. I love that seemingly the only point of this story is to stop everyone from asking “WHO WAS…”
    HiIlarious.

  27. Awesome. Sheer win and kittens are this post.

    But on a more serious note, anyone kind of think of the Crocotta legend upon the description of the hobo/phone guy?

  28. Who actually pretends that they can’t see homeless people? Fuck ’em. They should get jobs. I tell them to their face.

  29. That takes care of one question…

    BUT WHO WAS IPOD?
    WHO WAS BOTTLED WATER?
    WHO WAS LARVAE?

    Sorry guys, I had to do it.

  30. Ok, first of all- Brix for the weird hobo.
    Second- I’m glad i know who phone is.
    Third- Always give hobos money-That way you will not be consumed by him on your morning jog. If not- then you better run pretty damn fast.
    Thank you.

  31. Comment Leaver

    :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    I just shat brix. Oh my god. Amazing. Simply amazing.

    1. Your comments OOO’s broke out of the comment box and ran across half my screen. What type of wizardry is this?!

    1. Glad we could all finally put this dumb thing behind us. It was almost as bad as the whole Candlejack thing. Lord knows that was getting really played o

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