When Rain Comes
It begins gently at first, softly falling like a child’s tears. It is a sad thing, but not so unusual and wholesome in its way. And the wind lightly blows, almost tenderly caressing your face. This will not last, but it’s nice isn’t it?
In the beginning there were two and they knew love of a kind.
The rain comes down harder now, no longer a child’s gentle weeping, and not quite an adult’s passionate cries for a lost love. It is somewhere in between. Then too, the wind picks up, catching your hair, causing it to fall across your face. It speaks, in the way that wind speaks, a soft moan, nothing more yet.
Time passed, and the two brought forth children. The children built and bred and grew. Thousands, then millions.
The rain has not changed, it does not fall with greater intensity, but in the distance the faint sound of rolling thunder and the flash of a great light. The voice of the wind calls out to it, the clouds gather more strongly.
The two were not man and woman, but that is close. In the full distance of time, they grew apart and so their children suffered. She was not happy with Him, but She would not leave Him.
The rain falls strongly now, if you were not wet before, you are now. The wind’s moan has changed to a howl and the lightning grows closer. The air is charged with possibility.
She loved them, but to Him they were a barrier, something that caused the coldness that had grown between them. Perhaps that is why She said nothing when they drove Him out.
The storm is a storm in truth now, the rain stings a little as it falls, water dripping from your hair. The wind’s howling pierces your clothing, finding any gap and driving itself through it, perhaps seeking your warmth. You should find shelter, but something is about to happen.
Generation upon generation grew, lived, and died. They forgot Her name and His. She was still with them though and they still loved Her, in their way, but He, they lost entirely. He watched from beyond, unable to touch Her. Sometimes He lashed out at the skies.
The lightning is close now, illuminating the entire night sky, the thunder crackling within a minute or so of the lightning. It should feel cold, shouldn’t it? The wind is strong and the rain is fierce, but you are not cold. There is an energy building.
A crack has formed in his millennia old prison. He feels it and rages against it, throwing His might towards it. The crack widens.
You stand there, silently staring at the raging heavens as lightning cracks open the vault of the sky. The lines of light hang suspended in the air, after they should have ended. Something is coming.
He feels freedom. He goes to it; soon He will be with His bride once more.
He is coming.
He is angry.
//
Credited to Jimmy Reinstatler
Oooh, very tasty. Very ambiguous, as most of the pastas are, but at the prose was very well written, and the idea intriguing. Best pasta I’ve read in a while. 9/10
She = earth?
He = ???
First~!!
very creative, although not so much as creepy. liked the story, though.
meh. not creepy. definitely different though, so 6/10
Not bad, not particularly creepy but thought-provoking and well-written. Which is good.
wierd but good
First!Haha
I am the best, literally
FIRST! (: Ehh. Not very good. Sorry
Woah. Not really creepy, but kind of beautiful.
What the fuck?
Your metaphors are a child\’s after-carnival vomit.
\"He doth attempt to utilize literary devices.\"
You speak in cryptic form.
\"He knew not that He must not quit His day job.
He is sucky.\"
Interesting syle of narration.
No noticable typos or errors.
Pleasant read that I enjoyed.
I feel like this was awesome….then just lost me. I don\’t understand what it is I was just reading about.
I’m not scared at all, but it was definitely cool
story 5/5
scary 1/5
Interesting, this one had me somewhat puzzled until the ending at what you were building up to.
I thought it was a decent story, short, but enthralling.
Not creepy in the traditional sense, but it conveys more of a growing dread at an inevitability, like waiting for someone to die.
I enjoyed this pasta.
8/10
1st? or second/third/15th idc
havent read yet if it sucks ima hit you
First comment!!!
That is all…
I like this.
Unfortunately, Phone’s not had much success with the forums due to a noob/troll shitstorm.
This looks like it would have been a bitch of a thing to write, but it sure as Hell is worth it.
9/10
Anyone who doesn’t like it should go put their dick in a toaster.
First
This is beautiful and in a very poetic way.
Eh, lacking in creepiness.
The story is ok, but the way it was told could of been better.
What the shit
I like it. I think it leaves a lot to imagination which is a good thing.
A little of it is poetically forced out. The ending lines are a little cliche too. But overall, it was worth the read and kind of left a weird feeling over me when I finished it.
8/10.
Ain\’t really creepy or anything, but a nice and refreshing variety of the old world-being-destroyed-by-some-angry-god scenario.
FIRST
inb4 emo bullshit
This is not very creepy, and the style of writing distracted me from the story.
I liked it, but I didn\’t get the ending.
Lolwut?
very well written goood story but not creepy in the slightest
It was decent. I liked that the stories blended at the end, but in terms of being creepy, paranormal, or scary, it fails. I am not afraid of an unnamed (Although seemingly assumed to be Adam) man breaking out of some”Millenia Old Prison” and being angry. Its unrealistic. Is he meant to be portrayed as a god? A demon? What are we dealing with? When is this story taking place? It seems to be that it’s not now, so the prisoner must have died a while ago…
Props on writing this, i liked it for what it is, but this site seems to be moving from stories that incite paranoia and a general creeped out feeling, to stories that just sound good.
……wat.
…wat.
first lol
Not scary at all.
i actually really liked this one. it was really different from any other story i’ve read on here.
First
The story seems interesting but i lacks something.
still good
8/10
Garbage. I can\’t put my finger on why, but it just never caught my attention. I was only half paying attention through the whole thing because I was watching paint dry. Yeah, I couldn\’t choose between reading this story and watching paint dry. Thats how boring it was. I kept telling myself that it would get better and that it was going to be worth reading, and then I got to the end. No build up, thus no climax, thus no unexpected ending, thus no good story. 2/10
Meeh, not really scary or entertaining
Alright then…
I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all.
That was impressive. not creepy, but very well written. 8/10.
Is this about Zeus or something? I don’t know what the fuck is going on.
That was interesting. I guess it could be unsettling (“WHAT is coming?”), but it struck me more as fascinating with its language and imagery.
wow, fuck english class.
HOLY CRAP I’M FIR-
No.
…*points to self* Christian.
Screw you.
its good but i dont get it
7/10
not creepy at all, not even the littlest bit creepy, there is nothing creepy about this pasta
it is like a pasta with no sauce or water or spices, it is a box of dry noodles
do not want
This story is also on my person blog jreinstatler.wordpress.com
As I write more stories (some of which will not be suitable for creepypasta) I’ll be posting them there.
Nicely written.
Shitballs
Certainly poetic and even a bit melancholy, but not creepy. While I thoroughly enjoyed this piece, I don’t think it belongs here. Excellent read, though.
Chilling, and very well written.
pretty good pasta well written with a unique story that most could picture easily 8/10
huh, made me think he\’s satan, she\’s god.
but thats me.
werent really that creepy, to me the italic lines in between, i dunno, i felt like it could have been better.
\"if you were not wet before, you are now.\"
I lol\’d and came at the same time.
God that’s one fucking awful shitty pasta! Kill it with fire!
This wasn’t scary. Such a boring read. 0/10
First and lame pasta is lame
well… that was kind of pointless.
No…. just.. no.
This is amazing.
Not creepy, but so awesome.
First off, none of you “first” bitches are ever first. Stop. Second, this was good. It was mysterious, ambiguous, tasty, and well written. I like it!
9.10
THAT PASTA WAS BAD AND YOU SHOULD /FEEL BAD.
Ouranos will fuck up your shit.
Well, this was shit.
Either this was trying WAY too hard to be creepy or not trying at all to be creepy. Either way it ends up failing miserably in the creepy department. I don’t think it really belongs here. At all.
At least it wasn’t so long-winded, though.
It wasn\’t a work of genious, but I noticed the wheels turning. You could have had a really profound story had you thought more clearly about it.
I give it 3/10.
Mmmm…. how well-written… I very much love the picture that this author painted… Although the ending was almost rushed feeling, and my curiosity was most definitely not sated, which is kind of frustrating, considering how much the beginning roped me in. Loved it, though. Bitter about the flat ending.
Kind of a weird story…it could be Adam/Eve, but that doesn’t make any fucking sense since I don’t think they were immortal beings with super powers. Weren’t they just the first humans?
Instead I think its supposed to be God as “Him” and Mother Earth/Gaia as “Her”. Makes more sense since humans have steadily been driving religion out of their lives, but of course we still somewhat appreciate the Earth since we’re here everyday on it.
Even that doesn’t fill in all the holes since supposedly God created the Earth, not meet and fall in love with it. So, even though its banned, it must be asked: WHO THE FUCK WAS HE/SHE?!?
Story itself was weird…I didn’t particularly feel engaged by any part of it. It’s as if the story was something on the side of the road that I casually glanced at as I walked by, not really taking any particular notice. Which is I guess is the same reaction I have to the rain….OH SHI—-
i kinda thought they where ants at first. the milions of children thing.
This pasta kicked major ass. One of the better ones I’ve read recently.
9/10
I… I don’t know… This story was not BAD, not in a bad way, it was
just… Something…
Some stories need to be more mysteries and eerie, but this one was only mysteries and eerie, and that is just bad…
The writing was great, the concept was sort of good, but it was just not delivered in a good way…
For a story to have meaning and depth (depth, though, is relative when it comes to creepypasta) there needs to be something that holds the story toghether… This, to me, felt more like two stories spliced toghether by the ending…
It would have been interesting if it was about the fall of “Him”, or about watching the sky get pierced by demons, and the following chaos… Not half both…
This is just meh at best…
I liked this, although putting it up on Creepypasta.com belittles its goodness.
…what did I just read? -_-
PAYNUS
Didn’t find it creepy or especially well written. Sorry. The idea of some kind of sky god showing up…honestly is just seems ridiculous to me.
You’re a tolerable writer, like your style, but overall the silliness of the underlying story causes the whole thing to fall apart IMO.
…Wait, what?
lots of diffrent opinions on this one, some say its good, others bad, other still just say “first.”
I say it was well written, and i can see where you’re coming from in the creepy aspect, “the Big bad is gonna show up” is basically what your pasta conveyed to the reader. ’twas a pretty good eat all around. Although truthfully i have no idea what you’re talking about in your pasta, maybe we’re not supposed to?
Also, for people saying “I don’t get what he is”, that’s the POINT. The scariest things are always the ones you don’t understand. That is the whole concept of ‘terror’, look it up.
Also, if any of you read things besides creepypasta, you’d know this has allusions to mother earth/father sky figures in many mythologies. Uranus and Gaia, for example.
Maybe you’d pick these things up if you read more widely, rather than turning up here once a week to say “Boring pasta, 2/10″, like you’re some literary critic.
>if you were not wet before, you are now.
Dohohoho
Intriguing, well-written, and although not “creepy” per se, it does build up a growing sense of dread. After the willing-suspension-of-disbelief-shattering mess of ” Evaporation” and the average “Suicide King”, it’s nice to see something really good again.
Not sure why so many people seem to hate it — it’s a lot better than some of the stuff that’s been posted lately.
@soundless and pastamancer
Yup, this one drew a lot of inspiration from HP Lovecraft and the terror of the unknown. You aren’t supposed to know what’s coming, just that something is.
@
This story was sort of an experiment into if I could get back into writing after a long time away from it, I think I succeeded but you guys can be the judges of that! Ultimately, I hope to return to this story and the feeling it evokes, and expand upon it.
In any case, if anybody wants to see any more of my work, I’ll continue to submit to creepypasta, but I also post on my blog. jreinstatler.wordpress.com Feel free to visit, as there will be some stuff there that won’t be on creepypasta (eventually).
Fucking awesome.
Mods approve comments, yes? I’m assuming this is why everyone thinks they’re “FIRST!”. I will also assume everyone who declares this doesn’t get to feel special in most aspects of life.
This story was ok. I think the previous had my expectations a little higher than normal. I really wanted to spook myself because I’m home alone.
Oh well.
Pastamancer is for some reason butthurt over other peoples opinions. “YOU SHOULD AGREE WITH ME. ALL YOUR OPINIONS ARE WRONG.”
Honestly though? I understand the whole not knowing is the scary part thing, but I had to assume a lot, and it didnt make for a very creepy read. It was just like, “oh, I wonder what’s going on?” rather than shitting brix.
tl;dr: creepypasta.com.
CREEPY pasta . com
creepy. not vauge and kinda odd.
As a story: 8/10
As a creepypasta: 2/10
There’s ambiguity, and then there’s too much ambiguity. This story instills no real emotion at all. I guess it’s written okay.
It doesn’t go anywhere and has no point.
@WAT, it’s not their opinion that I disagree with, it’s the fact they don’t back it up with any actual criticism. I don’t know why they feel compelled to contribute when all they say is “shitty pasta”. It doesn’t help anyone.
I appreciate your point that it isn’t particularly creepy, but I found the idea quite unnerving, even if that didn’t come through so well in the writing itself. In the end, this site runs on finding the best they can, and invetiably some of it isn’t flat-out terrifying.
OH DEAR LORD ADAM’S COMING TO GET US WITH UNMOVING LIGHTNING THAT HANGS IN THE AIR! RUN FOR THE HILLS! Seriously where did all the fantastic pastas that used to be submitted go?
Tesla said it best. It has no emotion. The story\’s hollow; there should be more passion driving it. The attempt at ambiguity was good, but it overpowers the story – everything\’s too vague. Didn\’t disturb me in the least.
While I do applaud you for excellent grammar and punctuation, the story itself is lacking. I don\’t really understand how it constitutes as a creepy in any way.
Sort of lame, but I’m wondering if the He and She are Ouranos and Gaia, respectively?
Don’t get too butthurt about what the trolls say, sir. You’ll develop a thicker skin eventually.
I think I would have enjoyed this better if it was presented to me under the guise of \"abstract prose\" or even \"art\", but under the guise of \"creepypasta\" it sucked. I wasn\’t even mildly creeped out by it.
This was fairly well written. It lacks emotion and it isn’t creepypasta material, but, other than that, it’s okay. 7/10
Ugh, can you say pretentious?
Seriously the prose in this is so flowery it\\\’s making my hay fever act up.
Mother Earth and Father Time?
Her. Sometimes He lashed out at the skies.
The lightning is close now, illuminating the entire night sky, the thunder crackling within a minute or so of the lightning. It should feel cold, shouldn’t it? The wind is strong and the rain is fierce, but you are not cold. There is an energy building.
A crack has formed in his
its a piece of literature, it shouldn’t even be on creepypasta.
Shitty/misdirected attempt at retelling creation, I assume.
Woman is earth.
Man should be sea, but man seems to just be man…under a rock…or something.
Meh, not good. Not good at all.
wtf_am_i_reading.jpg
wow. this pasta is a flaming ball of shit
It felt like it was an interesting concept, and it was told in such a way that I felt like I should be compelled by it, but somehow, the story just feels… flat.
You sure you have got the right site? It seems as if you typed in “poetic posters.com” and this just came up by accident.
Too long, didn’t read.
A lot of the critics didn’t seem to get the story. “He” is most definitely not Adam — the story says they “were not man and woman, but that is close” — unless I’m interpreting this wrong, the meaning is that labeling them as human, or even male and female, is just an approximation. As for the “lightning that doesn’t move”, the point was that since it wasn’t moving, it wasn’t actually lightning, but a crack. A crack in the sky. In His prison.
Excellent!
Just because something is poetic sounding doesn’t make it not creepy. Being able to spot literary devices doesn’t make them shoddy in their use.
Some of you people really need to loosen the fuck up already.
BLUH BLUH, IT DOESN’T PEDDLE THE TYPICAL TROPE THAT I’M USED TO, BLUHHHH THAT MAKES IT DUMB!!!!!!!
I AM EXPERT CREEPYPASTA CRITIC.
Thought-provoking content, but the overblown metaphor+simile+flowerylanguagezomg wannabe-tour-de-force just falls flat. It’s way too full of itself to be a good pasta.
laaaame
Very intriguing. The sort of thing I’ll definitely have to re-read when I’m not so tired to get a good grasp on what is going on.
As it is, I definitely enjoyed my first two read-throughs. The empty vibe certainly sent chills up my spine, regardless of whether or not the content itself was creepy.
Kerhwin and I are from the same line of genetic clones meant for spare organs and world domination. And he can fist his asshole.
This was a good story, original, agreed not super scary but going over the possibilities of who or what is coming and what is going to happen was a satisfying little tingle. This > other shit > paint drying > kerhwin fisting himself.
I really like this one. A very clever idea and writing style. Keep it up!
Not even remotely creepy, lame.
How are people rating this highly?
It wasn’t even fun to read, I found it a complete bore but only carried on hoping for a good ending and I didn’t even get one!
Sleepy pasta makes me sleepy
very interesting. i know exactly what you mean. only dumb people need it said to their faces. the subtlety is good. 8.5/10.
Zalgo is here
Shit
It\’s somewhat pretty. Which obviously means it wasn\’t creepy. This is CREEPYpasta.com. This wasn\’t creepy in the slightest I\’m afraid.
There wasn\’t any build up, and thus what little climax there was (if you can call \"He\’s angry\" a climax at all) just didn\’t do anything.
I liked it. Made me think of Morgoth from Tolkien’s, work, although obviously not applicable. Also written in a style I like, like the myth of Pthia and Yrro from Bungie’s Marathon series.
ZALGO
HE IS COMING
Not all that scary, but it’s an interesting little piece of ambiguous mythology, so good job nonetheless. Reading it during a thunderstorm did make me a bit paranoid, too.
It’s interesting and well written, but I’m not certain of what the imagery is supposed to evoke. My best guess is Life (the woman) and Death (the man), but then that just makes the whole storm seem needless. Or maybe it’s just supposed to be ambiguous. Certainly not creepy, just mysterious sounding.
I enjoyed this one. It’s always nice to see people taking things in new directions. Keep it up.
I enjoyed this one. It\’s always nice to see people taking things in new directions. Keep it up.
Typical story of Ouranos and the Titans from Greek Mythology. Except Ouranos (The Sky) does not come back… Ever :/ Erm, good though?
So thunderstorm = anger? NO SHIT!