“Okay, now it’s your turn!” Chloe cheered loudly.
“Sssshhh! You’re going to wake up your mom,” said Krissie.
“Oops, sorry. Teehee… So truth or dare?”
“Erm… truth…” Krissie seemed to be hesitating, but Chloe couldn’t have it.
“Why truth? That’s boring! You never pick dare… Chicken!”
“But I…”
“Chicken! Chicken!” Chloe crossed her arms and turned away.
“Fine. Dare then. What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to… Go to my mother’s room, flicker the lights and slam the bedroom door shut,” Chloe pointed towards the door in the hallway. Right next to Chloe’s bedroom, facing the stairs. “Just to scare my mother, because she forbade us to talk so late at night,”
“Are you sure?” Asked Krissie. “Won’t I get caught? Maybe she’ll find out we’ve been up all this time. Maybe she’ll get mad and maybe I won’t be able to come over anymore,”
“Why of course not, silly! She’ll probably blame me anyways. Now go for it, go,”
Krissie went into the hallway and as Chloe said, she flickered the lights, closed the bedroom door with a loud slam, enjoying the sound of her mother’s loud gasp and returned to Chloe’s bedroom, closing the door behind her. They giggled together about what Krissie just did.
The giggling stopped when Chloe’s mother had found her way to the hallway, stomping towards Chloe’s room frustrated. Chloe quickly gathered the Ouija board, candles, books and other mickmack, threw it in a corner, jumped in her bed and pretended to be asleep.
Her mother opened the door, about to say something, but didn’t. She sighed, stood there for a second, then closed the door again. She retrieved to her bedroom, went back to sleep, keeping the lights on and the door closed this time.
After a few minutes Chloe crawled out of bed quietly, grabbed the Ouija board and searched the ground for the playing chart. She then sat down in the middle of the room again, lighting four candles and spelling out the words:
“That was a close call,” on the Ouija board.
Credit: IQuackInTheDark
Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.
Predictable when she dare her to slam the door and flicker the lights.
Anyway nice though.
This is really good! A small amount of more detail and length is all it could really improve with. I give it 8/10
Just made a video on this, tell me how it is :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJL7nY3SkMs
Cool idea. I disagree with the “5” rating. Short, creative, and fun, a nice break from the longer pastas and I hope to see more like this sprinkled in here and there
Damn, hated that creepypasta
Terrible story, the point is to be creepy, not stupid
U would have enjoyed it being longer, and at first when I saw mention of the ouji board I thought maybe they had brought the mother back from the dead, and she has her friend alarm the door BC maybe that was something she did when her mother was alkvs.. But I did enjoy this pasta! Thank you
I liked this….cute and certinally makes more sense than a plant/human hybrid!
I liked the baby twist at the end of this baby pasta (cuz it’s short). It was a pleasant little creepy factor popped in an otherwise tame story. Not scary, but I was entertained all the same.
6/10
Oh, I liked this. I liked it very much.
It’s just a *little* too subtle. If you were to flesh it out just a wee bit more, you’d probably get a better rating. And maybe try an edit… there are a few glaring errors.
But omg, this may be the best idea for a micro pasta I’ve ever read! :)
Eh, this wasn’t that great. The story was rushed, you used the word retrieved instead of retreated, and the reveal that Krissie was a ghost could have been handled better. Also, this wasn’t creepy in the slightest. Slow down, really explore what makes this creepy (right now there’s nothing), and build your story.
So that means the children playing with chloe were spirits
Wow, despite the low rating, I thought this was a pretty good story. The brevity really added to the impact. We know just enough to “get it” but not so much that we lose the sense of mystery.
Rule of Creepypasta no. 44727: Plot twists don’t always make a creepypasta good.
Plot. The classic Ouija board story. Overused but can create so many possibilities for the writer, if used well. This story… well… it doesn’t really do that much with the idea. Dead friends. That’s it. “sarcastic round of applause”
Ending. Wow, her friends are dead, what a surprise! Everyone shower this writer with appreciation for using an original and clever idea… No. Shoving all the creepiness into the last few paragraphs is risky to do. It really needs a good yet subtle build up if you want to succeed with this type of story. Maybe do a bit more of the Truth and Dare before we reach the final “turn on Mum’s lights and slam the door” dare so you have time to actually ease us into a sense of curiosity and confusion.
3/10. There isn’t enough here to scare most of the people in this community. Flesh it out, micropastas are a tough case to crack
This is a good li’l pasta, it isn’t creepy (except for her mom..lol). I liked it; and would like to read if you expand this or create another one.
Keep writing!!
That was actually so bad like how is that scary?
But Who Was Mother??? Lol, sorry I had to do it, stupid I know …but someone had to . I liked the story however I felt the reveal of Chloe being a ghost was a tiny bit rushed and i would have liked a little more explanation at the end. Actually I would have loved more of everything. I felt like this was a bite of a delicious pasta and now I want a full plate. I give you an 8/10 overall. Thank you writer, I want more please!
And I thought..Krissie was the ghost..is it so..?
Yeah, I think Krissie’s the ghost.
I guess I did not fully understand. Thank you for clarifying ?
Agree
Wha happen??
One of the girls is a ghost. I was thinking it was Krissie (because the actions, crossing arms, jumping into the bed, throwing the ouija board in the corner, were all perpetrated by Chloe), but I’m a little confused why in the beginning Chloe was talking to Krissie, but in the end, she spelled out her words on the ouija board. Either way… one of them isn’t really “there.” :)