I am sitting on my bed, shaking with fear. They’re coming tonight, I know they are. They’re coming for me. I can’t stop them, there are too many of them. All I can do is stay here and pray they don’t find me.
I could run, but that would only make them try harder to find me. They would track me down wherever I go.
If I run, it will only make things worse.
What was that? A noise from downstairs. The front door slowly opening. Footsteps, creeping quietly across the floorboards.
This is it. They’ve come. What can I do? I could try to defend myself, though I don’t think I stand a chance.
I reach out in the dark and my fingers curl around the object next to me. Maybe this will stop them. As quietly as I can, I stand up. I creep down the stairs. The front door is wide open, letting in the cool night air.
I can see a shadow moving inside the living room. Just one shadow. Maybe this will be easier than I thought.
I step inside the room. There is a figure the shape and size of a man standing over the dead bodies of my parents. He turns around when he hears me enter and stares at me without saying a word. Immediately, I lift the gun in my hand and pull the trigger. The loud noise seems to fill the whole house.
The man stands there for a moment before dropping to the floor, dead.
I don’t think he was one of them. I think he just came to see what the loud noises earlier were.
If he had been one of them, he probably would have been wearing a uniform and told me I was under arrest.
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I thought it was goanna be something about zombies or something, that was worse…
nice one :3
The neighbor probably borrowed and never returned their lawn mower anyways.
haha, really is like the “The main character is never a good one” principle.
Good but then the last sentence ruined it for me….sorry
Yeah… Me too
Cool story man!
Lol and a half
Well written
Fuckin nosy neighbors man.
lol. Nice one^^ I just don’t get if the person shot his parents by mistake ’cause he’s paranoid or if he’s paranoid because he shot his parents… thinking about it the second thought seems more realistic to me.
awesome story made complete sense to me, dont know how other people got lost….
Great job. I thought it was well written. I was thinking zombies or some sort of demonic plauge. You fooled me! :)
Very nice job placing the man in there at the end, reaching a climax without indicating or revealing too much as to your twist.
WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA
There is nothing wrong with the last sentence people. I personally liked the story. Stop complaining about BS and just enjoy a good story!
Whoa.. That twist at the end was kinda funny :D
I admit I giggled at the last sentence. It was a “lol, wtf?!” kind of moment.
This was really good!
At the end, the last sentence was a little wordy, but other than that it was really good, it got right to the point!
arrest is such an intricate word when you think about it. think about it.
hidefromthelightnotthedark
lol nice, i get it, but wow
First I was like, “Whoo”
Then I was like, “Whoa.”
Then I was like, “What.”
Then I was like, “Whoa.”
An excellent pasta. Gets right to the point, builds mood, has solid structure.
I agree that the last sentence could use some tweaking to make sure all the verbs agree, but this is work to be proud of.
thats the problem with teens like us
Loved it. A short story that got to the eery feelings going right away!
k
Yeah great story nice buildup but the last sentence kinda confused me for a bit then i got it kinda cliche but overall okay 7/10
You build a really good mood in a short time, which I liked. The paranoia of the narrator is well-constructed. However your last sentence was so wordy that whatever the punchline or kicker of this pasta was supposed to be was lost on me. Can’t say as though I ever felt that this story was resolved. I’m more confused than scared.
They killed their parents, and was afraid that the police were coming for him. However instead it was his neighbor.