• DoodleBunny

    My first comment on this site, having only started coming here yesterday.

    A bit predictable, especially considering the fact that Theo didn’t want to meet in person. I knew the instant I read about the ad that someone who was paranormal in some way would respond.

    Overall, though, it was reasonably well written, but there was virtually no tension.

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    Rating: -8 (from 26 votes)
  • http://deleted Maran Doll

    Well, that was disgusting. Pretty okay, though!

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    Rating: -3 (from 7 votes)
    • Frank

      Shitty first comment

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      Rating: 0 (from 6 votes)
  • Dr.Creepy

    It was predictable but it is very well writen and has the chill effect

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    Rating: 0 (from 6 votes)
  • Mombius Hibachi

    I would have to say that this was indeed a bit predictable. Maybe I’m reading too many of these. Or not enough! In any event, by the third paragraph I thought to myself “he’s dead!” and he was! Worms were a nice touch though, as despite the predictability, I was still unsettled.

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    Rating: -2 (from 8 votes)
  • Mombius Hibachi

    I meant to say I agreed with DoodleBunny before that comment, but I absent-mindedly neglected to do so.

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • The person formerly known as ‘Noneya’

    Huh.

    It reminded me of a n00b gettingcaught in something bigger than himself.

    That was the paranormal world in general saying ‘Buddy, youve got no clue as to what youre dealing with.’

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    Rating: +6 (from 10 votes)
  • Jack

    Nice story. Doesnt send the shivers up my spine like some I have read, but a good read.

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • Algernon

    Overall it was decent. However, the obit could have been fleshed out a bit for a creepier effect. And:
    WHO WAS WORMS?

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    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)
  • DJLoONa

    saw the end coming, and it was a bit too quick. as in, the beginning was well thought out and then the ending was just really quick like ‘oh by the way, i’m dead.’ the end.
    why did theo kill himself i wonder? and what made him want to reach out? =\

    this was ok though, these pastas have been better written i must say.

    oh, and now i wonder what a boiled earthworm looks like.

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  • Cyarm

    I liked it. :P Kinda creepy

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • asdf

    But who was suicidal kid on phone?

    Also I really thought this was going somewhere interesting because it was a little long and the worm thing looked like it was progressing.
    Then suddenly BOOM GHOST KID!
    Sort of ruined it for me, but I have to admit it was pretty well executed.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -3 (from 3 votes)
  • http://shirakoala.blogspot.com Shira

    The story is well-written and flows well, but yes, I believe the ending was a bit rushed and could have been done better.

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    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
  • Miss Betterdone

    Ditto at DoodleBunny. It was predictable, but a decent read.

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Pew Pew Laser Gun

    Well-written and interesting, but not that creepy in my opinion, as, unlike pastas that I do find creepy, the subject matter of this pasta doesn’t affect me personally or appeal to home-alone late-at-night superstitious paranoia (such as mirrors – creepypasta has made me fucking hate mirrors >.<).

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Sleeves

    Creepy, as I just named my new pet Theo yesterday.

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  • sheepness

    I agree with the bunny, no tension at all !

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • asdf-man

    I agree with Doodlebunny. Too long for such a predictable twist

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • I have the known!

    I kind of excepted Theo to be a giant earth worm.

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  • Fyuo Anon

    i liked the beginning, but the ending ruinrd it, maybe, if they wemt into more details about the worms, or him being a ghost, or even made the worms follow the narrator, anything to set upspme climax and tone

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Fyuo Anon

    wow, sorry about the typos, im tying this in the dark

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  • Theo Twining

    *sigh* i dont remember dieing though are you people SURE there not ghost worms >_>; *glop* AHH! my eye!

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Worms

    Nomnomnomnom

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  • blahh

    eww… worms…

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  • Anonymous

    THEN WHO WAS MOBILE?

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  • Fund

    Wow, daily stories added at such a fast rate, I’m impressed. Theo Twining sounds quite like a roleplaying character, maybe a necromancer?

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
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