The Wal-Mart Prophet
July 13th, 2008 by WHO WAS PHONE?
There is a Wal-Mart somewhere in Indiana, with a concealed trapdoor in the frozen food section. If you tap on the door three times with your left foot, a voice will ask you for a toll. Open the trap door, put three lemons inside, and close the door. After ten seconds, you will hear a knock on the trapdoor and find a red piece of paper that tells you two of the following three things: the exact location of your death, the manner of your death, or the exact date and time of your death.
Posted in Rites & Rituals
July 14th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I should wonder if anyone ever goes and tests these stories. I suppose that might be silly, though.
July 14th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
I would like to but that does seem a bit silly. And what would happen if it really did work? Ha, but I suppose that’s where the creepyness comes in.
July 14th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
It would be a waste of time trying out these things. Half of them are incorrect (like it takes place in a town that doesnt exist) and they were all written by people at message boards.
As for this one, I’d rather know the location and manner rather than time aand date. Knowing the time and date of your death is like being sentenced to death row. Everyone knows theyre going to die, but having it set in stone, always waiting for it and counting out the days is just wrong.
July 14th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
This one always makes me smile for some reason.
It’s kind of cute.
July 14th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Hmm. This is actually a bit of a rip-off from a Post-Modern Occult RPG called Unknown Armies.
It original comes from pg. 24 of Unknown Armies 2nd Ed. and goes like this:
“There is a man who lives behind a trap door in the sporting goods of a Wal-Mart in South Dakota. If you ask him for a lemon, he will accurately predict your future for you.”
By the way, that game is like a Creepypasta RPG that was made before creepypasta existed. If you dig tabletop RPGs, check it out!
July 14th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Actually, some Creepypastas, like Gideon’s Key, are stolen word for word from Unknown Armies.
July 14th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Whoa!
This is me totally checking that out.
July 14th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
I liked this one
July 14th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
I’ll try this, Indiana is only one state over, lol.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:05 am
I enjoy this. It’s one of the first creepypastas I remember reading.
I think the easiness of the task makes is it so appealing, as it seems somewhat plausible. ^^ Although, I wouldn’t do this myself.
I kind of want to go out and just buy the guidebook for Unknown Armies and just not play the game. o.O
July 15th, 2008 at 5:06 am
Sometimes, he tells you the very last thing that you want to hear.
July 15th, 2008 at 9:29 am
guy: where do you work?
me: wal mart.
guy: what do you do.
me: oh, i predict the location, time, and methods of deaths of people.
guy: …how…how much does that pay.
me: depends on how the day goes. usually i get to walk out with a lemon or two.
July 16th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Preliminary research reveals 73 Walmart locations in Indiana.
July 16th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Not creepy, but cool..
Would have been nice if it turns out to be “Place of death: walmart, cause of death: mistirious lemon eater, time of death: 10, 9, 8, 7,..”
July 16th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
haha, i do happen to test some of these when i get really bored…
plus, i live in indiana…maybe i should go to wal*mart tomorrow!
July 21st, 2008 at 11:43 pm
i opened the door and found some vagina face nerd standing there
needless to say i kicked his ass
July 25th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Mister Simpson, please stop putting lemons inside the refrigerator. Mister Simpson, do not make me call the police.
August 1st, 2008 at 4:23 pm
@”russell crowe”: i bet vagina face nerds give great head.
@all: how else do you think that walmart gets their fresh-squeezed lemonade?
August 7th, 2008 at 8:29 am
@Apu
XD
August 16th, 2008 at 12:52 am
@3
i wouldnt want to know the manner and location just as much as time and date. i would be way to paranoid to go wherever im supposed to die =(
August 18th, 2008 at 12:18 am
haha, lemons, haha makes me luagh
August 18th, 2008 at 1:11 am
i would read it and find out my death. if my death didn’t say I would kill myself, I would kill myself. If my death said I would kill my self well….I would say fuck you to the guy in the trap door and piss on it, then I would slip on my piss and break my neck causing my own death.
August 19th, 2008 at 8:30 am
Fuck Wal-Mart..I work there and it is truly hell on Earth.
August 26th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
bogus! it’s prly just sum greasy fat guy who writes random things on paper in exchange for lemons for his ‘lemon collection’ or something just as stupid…
i would lol if sum1s paper said:
‘here, now, i shoot u in the face’
August 26th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
loooool LoONa XD
August 27th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
XD
omg FCF i know who you are =P
btw…y lemons of all things?
does greasy fat guy want some to go with his iced tea and lard mix?
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:25 am
ITS BOB MARLEY
September 6th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Let me guess, it’s going to read, “Here, Unknown, NOW”?
September 9th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
i wonder if the cheetah girls know how there gonna die
September 13th, 2008 at 1:22 am
lol @ 29
random!
XD
September 23rd, 2008 at 6:06 pm
WHO WANTS TO GO TO WALMART?
-canada-
SOO ~*~*~RANDOM~*~*~ > o < ‘
September 27th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
THEN WHO WAS LEMONS?!