It’s a cool, calm night. You worked hard that day, and you feel ready for a good night’s sleep. You climb into your bed and turn off the light. You notice that, considering you live alone, it’s unusually quiet tonight. Ever since the death of your next-door neighbor, the loud rap music woke you up in the middle of the night no more. The police were quite reliable in these parts, but you can’t help but feel a little disturbed that, for all the blood that was spilled and mess that was caused, the investigators still don’t seem to have a lead. You tell yourself not to worry, the community is on their toes, no sensible killer would go sneaking around this town.
You lay down and close your eyes. As you drift off into sleep, a clear view of the front of your house floats into your vision, lights off except for the television in the downstairs window that you must have forgotten to turn off. You sit up. What kind of dream was that? No, it was more vivid, more distinct than a dream. Strange. Oh, well, you think as you lay back down. Not long after you close your eyes, you get a similar vision of your front door. Again, you wake up. What’s going on here? No matter. You left all your doors locked. Still, you feel a bit disturbed as you lay back down.
The stairs leading up to the upstairs hallway fill your mind. The picture at the top of the staircase grows larger as you seem to be moving slowly up the stairs. You try to remain asleep, but abruptly sit up when you hear the wooden steps creak outside your door. Paranoia gets the better of you and you pull a small pistol out of your nightstand you kept around for self defense. Holding it doesn’t seem to give you as much comfort as you thought it would as the steps continue to creak slowly as whatever it is slowly ascends to the hallway. You get up and poise the gun at the door. The creaking stops.
A few minutes pass, and you decide that you really have gone crazy with paranoia. Now that you realize it was only your imagination, you tell yourself to go to bed and have it checked tomorrow. But what were those visions? A dream? A spiritual warning? Your own mind playing tricks on you? These thoughts pester you as you slowly close your eyes, still standing in the middle of the bedroom, facing the door…
You snap awake and you aim your pistol at the bedroom door, ready to strike at any moment. From the “vision” you just saw, whatever’s perspective you were telepathically receiving was standing right on the other side of the door. What do you do? How did it get in? Is this all in your head? Is it safe to return to sleep? No, then it will surely attack, while you’re off guard. You take a minute or so to gather up your courage, and approach the door. You slowly grasp the knob, turn it ever so softly, then you kick the door open and pull the trigger… or so you almost do until you realize there’s nothing out there but a dark hallway. That was close, you almost caused a huge ruckus in the neighborhood, the last thing you needed for all this stress. You take a deep breath to regain composure, close your eyes, stretch your tense muscles, and you see yourself from behind, staring out into the hallway.
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That was good! Short, snappy and a bit if a twist at the end!
This was a nice story :D
beautiful.
It creeped me the fudge out. ..I’ll admit that. But, was the killer human or some form of supernatural entity? Whatever it was; it didn’t walk through the door with him standing there.
That was very good. Very well-written, vand definitely creepy. 10/10.
Not one of the scarier pastas but worth the read.
THAT ME IS A SPY!
meh, entertaining, but i wont be losing sleep over it lol. 7/10
If he’s standing right in front of the door, how did the serial killer get past him without him noticing?
That’s when you point the gun behind you and pull the trigger. BLAM BLAM, MOTHER ****ER!
Should have just pumped a few bullets through the door whilst whatever it was was creeping up the hall.
-Nex
Time is a wonderful thing, able to be stretched and twisted however one desires.
On a more serious note, this was very good, but paled in camparison to Josef K’s story above. 7/10
Fear the Darkness
I liked it.
you close your eyes, you get a similar vision of your front door.
tight there i saw the end coming good any way
BUT WHO WAS RAP MUSIC?
interesting…not what I expected at all. I predicted something like his subconcious returning to him, all bloody and messy after being the thing that murdered his rap-loving neighbor. Discovering he killed someone and all that…
Wow I found it super scary. I had to stop reading it half way through just to regain my composure and it’s mid afternoon! Good work
I don’t think it was his killer or soon to be killer but that he himself was in fact the killer… that is what I got from it… I thought he was going to shoot and it really be him an heroing…
lol omg it got behind him! run run!!!
there was some survival horror game with a feature exactly like this wasn’t there?
@Jack
Maybe the guy was just guessing in his state of frenzied terror.
Very good. I msut agree with Jack, though.
Jack shat brix. However, the line,
“From the “vision” you just saw, whatever’s perspective you were telepathically receiving was standing right on the other side of the door,”
ruined it a little for Jack. Saying that it was telepathically received spoiled the suspense.
Oh christ. o.O;
someone has issues (not that i should talk)
@ crab – why don’t you try reading the whole thing before you comment?
I liked it, end gave me shivers.
not scary ps im 11 years born on 1998.xp
FUUUUU-
I pooped myself.
Then I killed my best friend, ohshit.
um…i would expect more…since that wasn’t scary, but i couldn’t stop reading, nice job!
Uh… it’s not his clone, you guys. It’s the killer, he got past the writer and is now looking at him from behind. Come on, people.
LOL. I totally agree with “OH SHI-“
The ending was a little flat for all that buildup. :|
THEN WHO WAS CLONE?!
BUT WHO WAS DARKNESS?
BUT WHO WAS VISION?
Kumos last blog post..Word Games, Staff Tasks, Tag System, and more
Interesting concept, not very well written.
FFFUUUUUU-
PIME TARADOX?
I did it for the lulz
oh snap, i’d run!
Ooooh nice pasta! I read the end and thought “hang on… wat?” and read it a couple of times then thought “OSHI– I LET MYSELF IN! How very considerate!”
Typical yank story. Rap and guns. If it were me it’d be rock and scones. And I’d keep my fucking door locked.
Omg finally that rap music is gone yays. lol after reading the comments i got the end part. good one.
Very interesting. And I am inclined to agree with ‘Wow’ about the Locations pastas. A personal fave of mine was the one about a black obelisk in SC that some explorers found, then sank into the ground, although the Josef K island story was indeed amazing.
Less instruction stories and “this is what you are doing right now” stories, and more places and objects.
@Wow – I was beginning to think that I was the only one who actually liked the locations/sites and artifacts/objects category stories, they tend to get lots of negative feedback =( But those are my personal favorites, and the Josef K. one that you cited is one of the best.
SO I GUESS I’M TRYING TO SAY MAYBE WE HAVE SIMILAR TASTE AND IF YOU FIND PASTAS YOU LIKE YOU SHOULD EMAIL THEM TO ME BECAUSE I WILL PROBABLY LIKE THEM TOO
and now i am going to bed y’all
Wow, creepypasta is really crappy nowadays (no offense). It’s basically stories about the reader and weird ass instructions. Seriously WHO WAS PHONE, find stories about locations & sites or artifacts & objects. That story about the nuked Island by Josef. K was pure frickin genius.
Love, long time creepypasta fan.
Wow i like it alottt
Meep! That was a good one :]
I had an idea of what it was going to be like when it started, and I was right! But the idea freaks me out.
Well done. I like how it was left open ended. Y’know, no guts spilling, yet :]
I remember seeing this on the forums. Freaky then, freaky now.
and then john was a zombie.
Meh, I saw that coming.
That was one crafty killer, sneaking up behind him like that. He’s going to gut him like a Cornish game hen.
ooooooooh I get it now!
XD
strange. that’s all I can say.
maybe I’m slow, but I didn’t get it.
i think i’d read it over a few times to understand it fully.
To the many comments of “FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU” I can only say, “I second that.”
ohfuck. XD
That’s awesome.
Uhh, wha? I don’t get it. Can someone explain please? Lol, sorry.
A little too…Descriptively written for this kind of pasta. But the endind, I was expecting it to come up from behind, but nonetheless, nice!
hum.
Kinda confused. >_<
I lol-ed when the neighbors that listened to rap music was killed.
I thought to myself, uh, right…
aSak – what? The actor isn’t there twice. The implication is that the intruder is now in the room behind him.
i got to the second paragraph before it got too predictible and i stopped reading
let me guess. the visions are the sight of his soon to be killer
it was very awkwardly written. the authour does not appear to have much experience writing in the second-person, or the present tense
You really are ignorant. Read the whole story before judging you idiot.
THEN WHO WAS YOU?
THEN WHO WAS NINJA?!
Done previously, numerous times.
Night Gallery specifically noted.
Not bad though…
I was expecting “THEN I WENT MAD D:” but instead…FUUUUUUU-
AAH! turn around turn around turn around! >< LOL
nicenice, berry nice
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU-
Would have been better if the story was changed a little at the end. Overall great, had me on edge.
BUT WHO WAS PISTOL
All right enough with this crap allready “who is this and who is that” its freaking annoying!
BUT WHO WAS ANNOYING?!
Yeah, I wasn’t too into it until the last part.
That fucked me up.
FFFFFF-
That scared me. I had to reread the ending though, because I was mostly skimming at first. Then it was like, “OH SHI-”
Good pick, Phone. :3
an btw aSak wtf are you talkin about?
kool story i like the end lols
must be set in america, every one has a gun in america. maybe i should go there…heh heh…Xp
Untrue…
Wasn’t very creepy. If the actor is there twice, none of them would shoot each other. Or eat. If I found myself standing in the room and seeing myself from behind, I’d hit me on the shoulder and went out drinking with myself.
aSaks last blog post..Left 4 Dead – Interview with a Zombie
it was good in my opinion
If Chuck Norris says it’s good it may well be worth reading o.O