The Time Paradox
A baby girl is mysteriously dropped off at an orphanage in Cleveland in 1945. “Jane” grows up lonely and dejected, not knowing who her parents are, until one day in 1963 she is strangely attracted to a drifter. She falls in love with him, but just when things are looking up for Jane a series of disasters strikes: First, she becomes pregnant by the drifter, who then disappears. Second, during the complicated delivery doctors discover that Jane has both sets of sex organs, and to save her life, they most surgically convert “her” to a “him.” Finally, a mysterious stranger kidnaps her baby from the delivery room.
Reeling from these disasters, rejected from society, scorned by fate, “he” becomes a drunkard and a drifter. Not only has Jane lost her parents and her lover, but he has lost his only child as well. Years later, in 1970, he stumbles into a lonely bar, called Pop’s Place, and spills out his pathetic story to an elderly bartender. The sympathetic bartender offers the drifter the chance to avenge the stranger who left her pregnant and abandoned, on the condition that he join the “time traveller corps.” Both of them enter a time machine and the bartender drops the drifter off in 1963. The drifter is strangely attracted to a young orphan girl, who subsequently becomes pregnant.
The bartender then goes forward 9 months, kidnaps the baby girl from the hospital, and drops the baby off in an orphanage back in 1945. Then the bartender drops off the thoroughly confused drifter in 1985, to enlist in the time traveller corps. The drifter eventually gets his life together and becomes respected and elderly member of the time traveller corps, and then disguises himself as a bartender and has his most difficult mission: a date with destiny, meeting a certain drifter at Pop’s Place in 1970.
Posted in Strange & Unknown
September 10th, 2008 at 12:27 am
so it’s a never ending cycle then?
hm.
September 10th, 2008 at 12:28 am
Wtf… This seems so silly and redundant. It’s not even scary or creepy in any way.
September 10th, 2008 at 12:47 am
WHHHHY would Jane/Joe even want to continue this cycle? It’s not even like his life is going to get any better, and ‘him/her’ existing in the first place doesn’t make sense because… well, you know.
September 10th, 2008 at 1:21 am
Its amazing the problems people make for themselves.
September 10th, 2008 at 2:25 am
PIME TARADOX
OH SHI-
September 10th, 2008 at 2:38 am
Amazing? Not really.
Even if we could travel in time, no such thing would be able to happen.
She (or he) basically became out of nothing.
September 10th, 2008 at 5:01 am
I think it would be better without the last paragraph.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Robert A. Heinlein’s “All You Zombies”. Just paraphrased.
September 10th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I think the last paragraph wrapped it up a bit.
Also, my head hurts.
September 10th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
This is actually based off a short story. All You Zombies by Robert A. Heinlein
September 10th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
This is interesting but really wierd. Why would you do this?
September 10th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Strange… Jane, the drifter, the baby and the bartender are all different versions of one person.
September 10th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
she/he had sex with her/himself? thats creepy and disgusting at the same time
September 10th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
This creepypasta has divided by zero…
OH SHI-
September 11th, 2008 at 12:01 am
@ Comment Leaver.
This isn’t one of those instructional pastas. It’s more or less a mind****. Which it indeed did do to mine
I thought this was fantastic. Reminded me of that episode of Futurama where Fry becomes his own grandpa. But it’s this X 1000 
September 11th, 2008 at 12:36 am
Wow, I like this one. Not all pasta is ment to be scary (whoever thought the Holder series were scary?), and this one is a prime example of a good helping of pasta. Thanks for sharing it.
September 11th, 2008 at 2:09 am
Snake? SNAAAKE!
September 11th, 2008 at 8:16 am
so many things to remembeeer!
September 11th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
This made my brain hurt.
September 11th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Good story,however, the title is copyright off Artemis Fowl:The Time Paradox.
September 12th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
All You Zombies.
September 12th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Gah. My head.
But other than that, it was okay.
September 12th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
so, he slept with himself?…that’s totally gross!…and if you were born with both sets of organs wouldn’t it therefore be impossible to have kids?
it did make my brain hurt a bit, but it was easy enough to follow
i didn’t get why he bothered to disguise himself as an old bartender…it’s just a bit pointless if you ask me
September 13th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
omg, self-impregnation!
September 14th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Character Vs. Self
September 16th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
So wouldn;t it be considered masterbation? And if this particular case of masterbation impregnated this one person shouldn;t it be possible for anyone?…*puts hand in pocket*
September 17th, 2008 at 8:47 am
it would be better if the “time maschine ” would be just in bar
September 24th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
WHO WAS HERMAPHRODITE?!
September 26th, 2008 at 1:19 am
I like this one. Hilarious.
September 26th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
this story was very sexy
September 26th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
not creepypasta
September 28th, 2008 at 4:26 am
i find this story beautiful because unlike most “time travel”stories it shows that time cannot be changed
in some stories people try to change the past - but this is not possible if we could change the past it would smply become our future and we would gain new memories and probably have never visited the past
this one sums all that up in a nutshell
amazing
September 28th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Meh… that wasn’t creepy; more of a your head a splode kind of thing.
October 1st, 2008 at 10:22 pm
This one made me rofl. I mean seriously…wth? Sex change, betrayal, illegitimate children, sex, and a bar.
This is a daytime soap opera, not a creepypasta lmao.
October 4th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
LOL this one was more funny then creepy
October 6th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
This is All You Zombies.
October 9th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Jane/Joe divided by zero…
October 9th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Isn’t it much pretty impossible for a human to be a TRUE hermaphrodite…the person can have both sets of genatalia, but the chances of them having both testes and ovaries is 1 in 25,000.
Somehow, the time travel seems more feasible.
October 14th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
this is pretty much my FAVORITE story on here.
hahaha, i mean where else is someone their own family?
ive never heard of anyone else being their own mother, father and daughter-son.
pretty much awesome.
October 19th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
so wait, this person had sex with him/herself, gave birth to him/herself, kidnapped him/herself, then helped him/herself do all that again? GAAAAAAAHHHHHHH *head doesn’t explode*
October 21st, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Clearly this is what Jack Harkness did in his spare time…:p
November 2nd, 2008 at 1:22 am
BUT WHO WAS…..WAIT…..WAT?
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Long story short, every character in this pasta is the same person.
November 14th, 2008 at 6:52 am
ehh… this is terrible. nobody cares about how they are all the same person. you should not have paraphrased the book. surely it would actually be interesting because it would be written better than this crap.
November 14th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Not creepy, but quite clever. I like the idea of every character being the same guy/girl.
November 14th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
lol, confusing.
November 14th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
@42:
OMIGAWD THAT IS THE FUNNIEST COMMENT I HAVE EVER SEEN ON CREEPYPASTA AND I VISIT IT EVERYDAY
XDXDXDXDDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD
November 16th, 2008 at 3:38 am
Jane/Joe! You can’t do that! The future will be changed! You’ll create a TIME PARADOX!
November 18th, 2008 at 11:49 am
It was fine until I read “Time traveler corps.” I knew exactly what was coming from there.
Fun.
Jane was the daughter of her future self and her future-er self, making her his own father and mother.
Deep, but pointless.
November 20th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
“Not only has Jane lost her parents and her lover, but he has lost his only child as well.”
um ur doing it wrong. it should have been:Not only has “Jane” lost his parents and his former lover, but he has lost his only child as well. also, the ending was a shat bricks moment, but not in a good way. bricks of disapointment